Rose Gold
by quietbrooke
Summary: This is the sequel to Worlds Collide. Cat Winchester is finally content. Hunting with her brothers, dating Kevin, and no threats. One day, that all changes. What will she do now that her happiness has been torn away from her? Spoilers through S12 (summary is for first chapter)
1. Chapter 1

**Say Something**

I've been hunting with Sam and Dean for a few months now and it still amazes me how many hunts they actually go on. The show really only showed a small _fraction_ of their work. Since I have Kevin, I don't always go on every hunt, but I go on as many as I can. Dean helped me trick out Daphne so she now has a secret weapons compartment too. I scoured the Bunker and found as many weapons as I could. Sam and Dean also helped by procuring some more unique weapons.

They also taught me how to make the variety of bullets needed such as silver, devil's trap, and especially witch killing. While my angel blade may work on a variety of supernatural species, it won't work on all of them so I have to be prepared. I also have my own collection of fake IDs with names that Dean loves to complain about like Grassi, Stirling, Caffrey, Brennan, etc. I like to mix it up with characters as well as the usual musicians.

Kevin won't ever say, but I can tell that he feels put out by how often I leave. I keep offering to train him to be a hunter, but he says he prefers the research portion. I try to make it up to him by returning to sleep, which also saves the brothers money on an extra room or having to share a bed. We also go to fun places between hunts, but he's still _distant_. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've tried _everything_ to include him.

My biggest fear is excluding people, since I was on the other end of that most of my life. I make a huge effort to never leave anyone out, including Cas. I often fly out to see how he is and talk to him. Outside of the residents of the Bunker, he's my best friend and the one I go to when I need to talk about something. I've finally got him to call me Cat, at least most of the time.

I don't feel like Caitlin any more. Caitlin was a naïve girl who spent her whole life in the background, even in her friendships. She was shy, quiet, and a complete push over. Cat, however, has seen and been through things that still haunt her dreams. She's a Hell Angel who can fight, kill, and protect herself and those she loves. She has a strange family and a loving boyfriend. Cat is _me_.

One thing Caitlin and Cat have in common, though, is that neither are very good at the whole relationship thing. It's been over a year since Kev and I became official and I'm still learning. What really sucks, is that I have no one to ask advice from. Cas has never had one and the Winchesters' never work out for them. Guess I really _am_ a Winchester. After the latest case, I decide to talk to Kevin about it. "Hey, Kev?" I say hesitantly, walking into the kitchen.

"Hmm?" he hums distractedly as he makes dinner. It looks like he's making spaghetti and I can smell garlic bread baking.

"Can we talk?"

"About what?" he asks, still focused on the boiling pasta.

"How about why you're so _distant_ lately?" I reply crossly. This finally gets him to at least look at me. I feel bad at the tone of voice I used, but I hate being ignored.

" _I'm_ distant? _You're_ the one who's always going off hunting, and leaving me behind like a pet! In fact, that's what I might as well be!" he snaps. I'm shocked by the ferocity of his response.

"I offered to train you so you could come, but you refused! I come home _every_ night and we always go to some nice places between hunts. I've been _trying_ to include you!" I shout, mad that he isn't even recognizing the effort I've been putting in.

"I'm not a dog that is satisfied by a few _treats_ every so often! I just want to spend some quality time with you! No hunting, nothing supernatural, no brothers, just us!" he yells angrily.

"You _knew_ this would happen when you agreed to move back! You knew I was _dreaming_ of going hunting with my brothers!" I yell back, face red.

"I didn't realize that meant you'd _never_ be around! We've been dating for over a year and now I hardly ever _see_ you!" he shouts in response.

"If you would train, you could come and we could hunt _together_!" I snap. He doesn't know, but I've been wanting that since the first time I offered. I want to share the experience, the _rush_ with him. Maybe then he would understand. Maybe then our relationship would be better.

"I don't _want_ to hunt!" Then his eyes become sad and he whispers, "I want what we had, before we moved back here…"

This is news to me. I thought he was happy living here, but I guess I haven't been paying attention. There are times I miss those days too. Most of the time it was just the two of us, his mom was often visiting other people. We had some great moments in that house. Lazy kisses in the morning, cuddling on the couch while watching Netflix. There was even a memorable moment of us baking together which ended up with flour in my hair and egg on his face. It was all very domestic without any mention of the supernatural. I never even used my powers.

"Why didn't you ever _say_ anything?" I ask quietly, all fight gone. It's hard to be angry when he looks so dejected.

"You're just so _happy_ here, hunting with your brothers." he sighs. "I didn't want to ruin that with my selfish dreams."

"Kev, it's _not_ selfish. We were _both_ happy there. If it makes you unhappy to live here, then we can move." I say gently, placing my hand on his cheek. He leans into it, but then straightens up.

"But you're happy here!" he exclaims in surprise.

"We could live in a _shack_ and I would be happy. I don't _care_ about surroundings, just who I'm surrounded by." I tell him sincerely. God, I feel like a Hallmark card. We are so far into chick flick territory right now.

He leans in and gives me a slow, passionate kiss then pulls me into a hug. "I _love_ you, Cat." he whispers in my ear.

We hear someone clearing their throat and I open my eyes. " _Shit_! Babe, the pasta is boiling over!" I yelp, seeing the bubbling pot. He quickly releases me and turns back to the stove.

"Can you guys _not_ do that where we eat? You ruined my appetite." Dean complains. He was the one we heard clear their throat. He and Sam are standing at the bottom of the steps and looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"Umm…" I stutter. "How long were y'all standing there?" I sincerely hope they came in at the end and didn't hear the whole thing. I had forgotten they were back, too focused on figuring things out with Kev.

"Long enough. Never realized you were so fiery, though I could've done without the chick flick moment." he grimaces. I flush with embarrassment. They heard the _whole_ thing.

"You could've _left_." Kevin replies as he stirs the noodles. How can he be so cool with this! Then again, they aren't _his_ brothers. I can sense that Dean will use this against me in the future. He loves tormenting me, just like he does to Sam.

"Well _you_ could've taken your fight somewhere private." Dean quips.

"So I take it you guys are moving out then?" Sam asks, having heard our entire argument.

"Looks like it." I reply. "Y'all don't mind?" I know they prefer me living here, where they can protect me and watch over me. I may be a strong 22-year-old woman, but they'll always see me as the scared 20 year old who showed up unconscious in their Impala.

"We just want you both to be _happy_. If that means living somewhere else, then you have our blessing." he tells me. "Of course, we'll still _worry_ about you, that's our job."

"But you better call and visit _often_ or we're going break in and kidnap you." Dean playfully threatens.

"Of course we will! We're not _disowning_ you." I laugh. "Besides, you'll still see me on hunts, just less often." I can't see Kevin's face, but judging by his posture, he's smiling.

"How long til the food is ready?" Dean quickly changes the subject.

"Trust you to think of your _stomach_ instead of the conversation." I chuckle.

"What? We were done and I'm hungry." he replies innocently.

"It'll be a few more minutes." Kevin answers him. "You can make yourself _useful_ and set the table." Dean gapes at Kevin's order, but grudgingly complies.

"You're a _rare_ individual." I tell Kevin quietly. "Not many people can make him speechless."

"I _heard_ that!" Dean calls.

We laugh at his petulant tone and I pull the garlic bread out of the oven while Kevin carries over the noodles and sauce. We have a great family dinner, joking and telling stories. I'll miss this, but maybe it will be good for us to have our own place.

I'm exhausted from the hunt, so after dinner I retire to my room. I crawl under the covers and open my laptop, looking for some housing options. I have quite a bit of money saved up, enough for a small house. "Hey, babe? Where do you want to live?" I ask Kevin as he walks in a little bit later.

"Huh?"

"Well if we're going to move out then we should have our own place." I explain. "Do you have a preference?"

"Cat, we don't have _money_ for a house." he states, sitting beside me and looking at my screen.

"I've got it covered." I reply. "Now, preferences?"

"How do you have money?" he questions, ignoring my own question.

I sigh at his persistence. "I've been working for about a year now. It pays well so I have enough saved up for at least a small house." I tell him.

"You've been _working_? Where?" he interrogates.

"I've been gathering medicinal plants from overseas for a few pharmaceutical companies. Seriously, give me some preferences or I'll choose some in the middle of a swamp." I threaten.

"Fine. How about Colorado? It's not too far, but not too close either, plus it's _beautiful_." he finally answers.

"Thank you." I reply with a kiss on his cheek. We spend the rest of the evening house hunting and find a few good options. We decide it's too late to call realtors, so we lay in each other's arms and fall asleep.

"Did you call?" Kevin asks as I join him in the library the next morning.

"Yeah, we've got a few showings scheduled for tomorrow." I reply.

"Hey, Cat. We have another case if you want to join us. It looks like vampires, your favorite." Dean announces as he and Sam walk in.

I'm torn. He's right, vamp hunts are my favorite. They remind me of when I was such a badass in Purgatory, plus, my first monster kill was a vamp, unless you count Phobetor I suppose. Not to mention they've become my specialty, but not like Gordon, I'm not a _psychopath_. Either way, I really want to go. I look over at Kevin and see that he's frowning.

"I _know_ I promised to lay off the hunts for a while, but it's _vampires_!" I plead to Kevin, using my puppy eyes.

He continues to frown and crosses his arms, but replies, "Don't let me stop you."

"Thanks, babe. I'll meet you here before the showings." I tell him as I rush off to grab my stuff. Sam and Dean have put their foot down when it comes to me zapping to a case before them, so I always either ride with them or drive Daphne. I decide to ride this time since I'll be doing house hunting as well. We load up and drive off toward a small town in New Mexico that seems to be home to a nest of vampires.

It's about a half-day's drive, so we arrive late in the evening. Dean pulls up to a bar and we all get out. The Tumbleweed is like most bars we visit for information, meaning it's a dive bar. The boys grab us a table while I go to the bar to order some food and drinks. I get a few looks, but walking in with Sam and Dean tends to scare guys away.

After I grab the drinks, beer for them and a coke for me, I return to the table where Sam already has his laptop out. We discuss the case until the food arrives. After he's done eating, Dean heads off to hustle pool. We quickly learned that I'm abysmal at pool and have a terrible poker face so I'm not allowed to gamble. Good thing I have my own source of income. We get a few possible nest sites and call it a night. Dean manages to get a couple hundred so we now have enough for a room and food for a bit. I'm about to tell them goodbye and fly home when my phone buzzes. I pull it out and see that I received a text from Kevin about an hour ago.

Kev: You should just stay there tonight. I'll see you at the house showing tomorrow

I hate fighting with him, but no relationship is perfect. "Hey guys, mind if I crash with you tonight?" I ask my brothers. Guess I should've realized how mad he would be, but I was too busy focusing on what I wanted. This is why we're in this fight in the first place.

"Kev's not happy, huh?" Dean says sympathetically.

"I don't know how to be in a relationship _and_ hunt, but I don't want to give up _either_ of them."

"You'll figure it out. If any Winchester can make it work, it's _you_." Sam assures.

"Thanks, Sam." I say with a small smile. I can always count on them to cheer me up. We head back to the motel and Dean lets me share with him instead of getting me my own room, which I'm grateful for. It's weird not being with Kevin. Dean still keeps to his side of the bed so I stick to mine. I appreciate, and at the same time hate, the space Dean is giving me. I remember when his strong arms would keep the nightmares away. He was my refuge before Kevin. Sam was as well, to an extent, but since he was sick from the trial, I tried not to bother him too much.

I eventually fall asleep and have a vivid nightmare. This one is worse than any others I've ever had. In it, Kevin dies with an unresolved argument between us. It feels so real. I can feel the tears already on my face, hear the doctor deliver news of Kevin's death, feel my heart break as I see his lifeless body on the slab. I even feel the crisp wind as I stand in front of his snow-covered grave.

I wake up to find that I had reached into the gap, searching for Kevin. I begin to cry silently from my nightmare. It can't be a _vision_ , can it? He died from _heart failure_ , which he is way too young to have. I remember feeling a ring on my finger. Were we _engaged_? _Married_?

Dean turns around and sees my tears. "It'll be okay, Cat. _All_ couples fight at some point."

"H-he _died_. I-in my dream." I sob.

He pulls me against his chest and whispers, "It was just a _dream_ , Cat. He's alive back at the Bunker."

"It felt so _real_ , but it can't be, right? I _can't_ be having visions again." I whisper the last part so he can't hear it. I've had a few visions and all have been centered on those I love getting hurt. I've also had dreams of the same theme so it's hard to distinguish the two until it's almost too late and I'm in the moment. Cas is the only other one who knows, but he can't explain why they're suddenly happening.

Dean looks concerned by my breakdown and gently asks, "Want to talk about it?"

"From what I could tell, we were either married or engaged. There were Christmas decorations everywhere, but I didn't recognize the house. We had a fight and then I got a call that he died. I saw the body and the grave. Dean, I _felt_ the heartbreak. I-I can't lose him, not like that, not this soon."

"Oh, sweetheart." he sighs sadly as I continue to sob into his chest. "It was just a nightmare. You're in the middle of your first fight with him and you're worried about losing him. All your fears and stress just triggered a nightmare, you're not having visions." He kisses my hair and rubs my back as I try to calm down. It's been a long time since I've gotten this worked up, but the familiar comforting from Dean soon has me calmed down. "Why don't you call him? Maybe talking to him will help." he suggests.

I sniff and reply, "That's a good idea. _Thanks_ , De." I grab my phone and see that it's only 6:30. Kevin is probably still asleep, but I need to hear his voice right now. I hurry to the bathroom so that I don't disturb Sam and hold the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" Kevin says groggily.

"Sorry to wake you, Kev. I just had a nightmare and needed reassurance that you were still alive."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks, sounding more awake and concerned. That's one thing I love about him. No matter how mad he might be, he still cares.

"C-can I come home?" I ask shakily, unable to get the glimpse of his dead body out of my head.

"Of course, honey." he affirms.

I fly to our room immediately and throw myself into his waiting arms. "I'm so _sorry_ , Kev. I shouldn't have left. Can you _forgive_ me?"

"Shhh. It's _okay_ , honey. It's _forgotten_." he coos as I cry into his shoulder.

After I calm down, I send a quick text to Dean then we crawl back in bed to get a few more hours of sleep before meeting the realtor in Colorado. We end up looking at few houses before settling on a nice little two bedroom two bath. I leave the vamps to Sam and Dean while Kevin and I get situated in our new home. We were able to move in immediately after buying it surprisingly.

After they take care of the nest of four vampires, Sam and Dean come visit us. By this time we've moved all of our stuff from the Bunker to our little home. They seem impressed by our house and the protection I made sure to put up. I tell them that we are putting two twins into the guest bedroom for if they visit and they seem touched. I recently went out and bought a few games so we decide to have a game night.

I refuse to play any type of gambling game since Sam and Dean would have an unfair advantage, so instead we start with my favorite game, Bananagrams. It's a fast-paced Scrabble-like game that I loved to play in the other dimension. Predictably, Sam and Kevin prove to be stiff competition and I only win by mere seconds. Dean gives up in the middle and instead starts spelling crude words with his tiles. We play other games, like Phase 10, which I lose terribly at, and Spoons, which I also lose. There is a lot of hilarity when I break out Apples to Apples, not trusting Dean to behave with Cards Against Humanity.

Before they leave the next morning, Dean pulls me aside. "Promise you'll take care of yourself. We put extra warding around the entire house, but you're still at risk."

"I know, _Squirrel_. I have _no_ intention of screwing this up by attracting unwanted attention. Don't forget, y'all trained me well."

"We will _always_ worry about you, sweetheart. You're our little sister." he chuckles as he ruffles my hair.

"Unfortunately." I grumble playfully as I fix my hair.

"What do you mean? We're _delightful_!" he quips with a smirk. He then becomes serious. "Don't do anything stupid. We can't lose you again."

"I won't." I promise solemnly. They leave shortly after that, leaving Kevin and I alone.

"What did Dean want?" he asks as we lay on the sofa together later, watching Netflix.

"He just made me promise to be careful. You know how much they worry about me."

"With good reason. You're a _magnet_ for trouble. That's why I hate how often you go on hunts. I'm afraid one of these days I'll get _the call_ from your brothers."

"I don't go down _that_ easily." I say, trying to lighten things up.

"Cat, I'm _serious_. I don't know what I would do without you."

"I'm sorry, Kevin. I promise I'll cut back, but _please_ don't make me give it up. I _love_ feeling like I have a purpose and am no longer the victim." I plead.

"I understand. I'll try to be more reasonable." he sighs.

A week after he turns nineteen, Kevin proposes. Of course I say yes, excited to keep him in my life permanently. I've worked a few cases since the fight, mostly with Sam and Dean. Kevin was less than thrilled when he found out I went on one alone. It was just a simple salt and burn and was over in a few hours.

Now it's three weeks later on Christmas morning and I'm alone in the house, crying. Kevin and I just had a huge fight about my hunting. I happened to mention a possible case and he went ballistic. He said he feels like I'm never home, and when I am, I'm looking for the next case. He stormed out, mentioning something about going on a run.

So here I am, sitting on the couch, crying. It's been several hours and he still hasn't returned. I begin to worry. No matter how mad he is, he would _never_ stay away this long without at least sending me a text. Just as I'm putting on my coat, about to head out to find him, my phone rings. Relieved, I immediately answer it. "Kev? Where are you babe? It's _Christmas_! _Please_ come back."

"Are you Cat Winchester?" a voice that isn't Kevin's says.

"Yes, who's this?"

"My name is Doctor Michaels. I'm sorry to tell you that your fiancé passed away."

My heart stops. This is exactly how I remember my nightmare. " _What_? Kevin is _dead_?!"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Winchester. He suffered from _hypertrophic cardiomyopathy_ , a condition that results in a thickening of the heart muscle. His heart gave out from working too hard to pump blood."

"But he's _nineteen_! He was _healthy_! How could he have died from _heart failure_?!"

"I'm afraid it often goes undetected. It is a big cause of sudden death in young men, especially athletes. Was he athletic?"

"He did weights and ran, but that's all. He went on a run a few hours ago. I was about to go look for him when you called."

"I'm sorry for your loss. Would you like to come see him? He's at Trinity General Hospital."

"Yes, thank you."

I hang up and stare at my phone. With one call, my world has fallen apart. Heart failure, just like the nightmare. So it _was_ a vision. Just like Sam, I had ignored it and now Kevin is dead. The light of my life, snuffed out so suddenly. The phone begins to ring again and I see _Moose_ on the screen. I ignore it and head to my car.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Hey, Sam? Have you heard from Cat lately?" Dean asks randomly. He realizes he hasn't heard from her since the engagement announcement a few weeks back. She normally contacts them every week or so, making the radio silence disconcerting.

"No, she never picked up when I called on Christmas. I figured she was busy with Kevin since they're newly engaged and living in their new house." Sam answers, realizing the oddity as well. "I'll call her." He dials the phone, but it just goes to voicemail. "It went straight to voicemail." Sam worries.

"I'm going to check the newspapers for her area, just in case." Dean states, opening his laptop. He's getting a bad feeling about this. Cat always calls back if she misses a call and never turns her phone off.

"Good idea. I'll help." Sam agrees as he opens his own laptop.

They both pull up papers between the last time they heard from her and now. It's Dean who finds the obituary. " _Shit_! We need to find her, _now_!" he says as he jumps up and rushes for the garage.

"What did you _find_?" Sam asks anxiously as he chases after Dean.

"Kevin _died_ on Christmas. Report said heart failure."

"That was almost _two weeks ago_! Why didn't she _call_?" Sam exclaims in alarm.

"She's pulling a Winchester and we _need_ to find her before she gets herself killed!" Dean calls over his shoulder, finally making it to the Impala. They jump in and Dean speeds off to Colorado. He doubts she is still there, but maybe they can get some clues about where she went. "She _dreamed_ of this, Sam. That night she stayed with us after their fight, she had a nightmare. She told me that he died around Christmas time. She also mentioned she was either engaged or married." Dean reveals once they're on the road.

"She had a _vision_? She's having _visions_?! Why didn't you _tell_ me?"

"I thought it was just a _nightmare_! Kevin is only _nineteen_ ; he shouldn't be dying like this!"

"She's going to be spiraling without him. He was her _everything_. She died to save him, breaking her biggest rule. The fact she never even _called_ is a really bad sign."

"I know, Sam. Why do you think we're speeding to Colorado? I'm hoping there will be some hint to help us find her." Dean explains.

They arrive at her house and see a _For Sale_ sign in the yard. They check the house anyway, using the spare key to get in. The house is empty of all personal touch, leaving just the furniture it came with. "We should check with the neighbors, maybe they know something." Sam suggests after they've scoured the entire house and come up with nothing.

They go next door and ring the bell. A woman in her thirties answers the door. "Hello, ma'am." Dean drawls. "My name is Dean and this is my brother Sam. We were wondering if you knew the previous owners of the house next door."

"Cat and Kevin? _Tragic_."

"What do you mean?" Sam asks, hoping she knows something they can use to aid their search.

"Christmas morning they had a fight, I could hear raised voices when I let my dog out. Kevin left in a hurry and ended up dying from heart failure. He was only _nineteen_. Cat was so distraught that she packed up her things and put the house up for sale. No one has seen or heard from her since." she reveals.

"Did she say anything about _where_ she was going?" Dean questions hopefully.

"Why do _you_ care so much about her?" the woman asks suspiciously.

"She's our sister and we haven't heard from her in weeks. We found out about Kevin from the paper." Sam replies honestly.

"Oh, in that case, she left you a letter. Let me go find it." She leaves the room and the boys look at each other.

"They had a fight right before. Cat is probably blaming herself for this. We need to find before she does something stupid." Dean states anxiously.

Just then, the woman returns with an envelope labeled _To my brothers_. They take the envelope and open it, reading the letter enclosed.

 _He's gone and so am I. Don't look for me._

"Dammit, Cat!" Dean vents. They ask the woman if she knows anything else, but she's told them all she knows.

They talk to each neighbor, but none of them know anything. Apparently, she just disappeared after the funeral. They decide to visit the cemetery to pay their last respects to Kevin before hunting down their wayward sister.

 **A/N: First, I want to thank those of you who read Worlds Collide, and especially those who took the time to favorite, review, or PM! Y'all are the reason I'm writing this sequel. I never expected to get so much positive feedback for my very first fic! I hope I don't let y'all down with this sequel. I have a lot of great ideas, but not much time to craft them into an amazing story, but that doesn't mean I won't give it my best! I'm always open to suggestions and constructive criticism. Hope you enjoy!**

 **PS: The fic's beginning is set in early Nov during season 10. Finding a timeline for most of the episodes is next to impossible but I'll try to orient events best I can.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Long, Long Way From Home**

After the funeral, I go back to my empty house. I lay on the bed, feeling the coolness where there used to be such warmth. I get up and move to the couch, unable to bear it any more. I begin thinking of what to do now. I know I should let my brothers know what happened, but I'm not ready to see them yet and they'll most likely want me to return to the Bunker where I have so many memories with Kevin. It was hard enough seeing his mom at the funeral.

While we may not have lived here long, this house is full of memories too. Netflix binges cuddled up on the couch with popcorn and soda, cooking together in the kitchen, long lazy kisses shared, our first time intimate together, and so much more. I can't stand living in this house, haunted by memories of a man I'll never see again.

My mind made up, I quickly get up and pack all my personal belongings. Times like these, I'm glad I have very little. My pictures, clothes, various supplies, and stuffed dragon easily fit into my duffel. I pack all Kevin's things into another bag, crying at the memories that flood my mind.

I almost shatter when I pick up the gift I got him last Christmas. It's a framed photo of the two of us sleeping in each other's arms on my old bed at the Bunker. I carefully place it in the bag, along with the still wrapped Christmas presents before zipping the bag up. I heft both bags on my shoulders, having gathered everything; I say a last farewell to the house of memories and fly away.

I land at a cheap motel in Utah and check myself in. Dropping everything off in my room, I quickly fly back to my neighborhood and knock on my neighbor's door. When she answers, I hand her an envelope with instructions to give it to my brothers if they showed. I then walk down the road and disappear as soon as I am out of eyesight.

 ***1 months later***

"Lady Cassandra, how art thou this eve?" a young blonde woman asks.

"Very well, I thank thee." I reply. I've become decent at medieval talk. The LARP event I'm at is set up like a huge medieval town. It's a big event and there are hundreds if not thousands of participants. The period wear donned by everyone is quite impressive. I, myself, am wearing a dark blue gown with silver accents and a silver necklace.

"Another tome to add to thine collection?" she questions, seeing the book in my hand.

"Indeed, Arabella. Wouldst thou like to accompany me to mine cottage?" I answer. Arabella, or Jackie in real life, has become a good friend of mine in the weeks spent here. We walk into my assigned cottage and she lets out a sigh. "Thank God! I love this place, but sometimes speaking like that is exhausting."

"Yeah, but at least we can do whatever we want in our own homes." I agree as I place my newest addition onto my small desk.

"I'm still jealous you have your own home instead of having to share a tent." she grumbles. When we arrived, we were each assigned a class/species and a home fitting that role. I was assigned to be a lady while Jackie became an elf. I've often coveted her role, as her clothing is more comfortable than the corsets and gowns I have to parade around in.

"I'm just glad I talked them out of setting me up with a lord, I much prefer being a widow, even if it means I have to wear dark colors in public." I admit as I walk behind the dressing screen set up and wriggle out of my costume. I quickly throw on a band tee and some sweats before returning to Jackie, letting my hair down from its perfectly coiffed up-do.

I see that she has grabbed one of my sodas from the fridge. I was thankful when I moved in to see that the house was furnished with modern comforts as well as a few relics. "I swear, you only come over so you can steal my soda and eat my snacks." I laugh as she munches on one of my homemade snickerdoodles.

"You have the good stuff! We don't have anything like this at the elven camp. I swear you must have blackmailed someone to get this kind of hookup." she exclaims enviously. Truth be told, I fly to the store to keep my fridge and cupboard stocked. While I enjoy the atmosphere, I need my comfort food. I've also used that time to try to gather information. I've been here for weeks working a case.

Participants have been found with their hearts missing. I know it's a werewolf, but I still don't have a suspect. The full moon starts tomorrow night and if I don't figure this out, someone else will die. I was hesitant to take the case, seeing as it was what my last moments with Kevin were spent arguing about, but I needed a distraction.

After Jackie leaves, I pull out my laptop and check my email. I have an email from Charlie, to which I immediately respond. She came to visit Kevin and I before heading off to help Dean with the Mark and still emails me often with the promise to not tell the brothers where I am. She was jealous when I told her I was here and has been very interested in Jackie, especially when I mentioned she was bi.

I check my inbox and find multiple emails from Sam and Dean. Yesterday, Dean's birthday, I flew to a random library and emailed him to let him know I was safe and to wish him a happy birthday. Predictably, my inbox keeps being filled with emails from the brothers begging me to come back or at least call. They also beg me to not do anything rash or stupid.

I'll admit, at the beginning I considered a crossroads deal. I even went as far as sitting at a crossroad with a box containing everything I would need in my hand, but I just drove away. I knew it would only cause heartbreak in the end. It seems Kevin was never destined to grow old, to have the family we dreamed of. He was always going to die young. I saved him from a smiting only for his heart to give out about a year later. If anything, all I did was give him a bit more time and saved him from being stuck in the Veil.

The angels were back in heaven when he died so I can only pray he moved on and is in Heaven. I'll never see him again if he is, but at least he would be happy. That's all I want, for him to be happy. He went out angry and I'm hoping our argument didn't cause him to stay. If he's a ghost because of me, I don't know what I'll do.

Wiping the tears from my eyes at that train of thought, I turn back to the brothers' emails. They both expressed their sorrow at my loss, but I just can't go back. The Bunker holds more memories than the house. I would shatter and I'm not sure I would ever be able to piece myself back together.

I put my computer away and slip under the furs on my bed, cuddling the stuffed dragon that Kevin gave me our first Christmas together. I still find myself expecting to feel a warm body behind me, a strong arm draped across me and pulling me against his chest.

The next day, I wake up nauseous and rush to the bathroom before my stomach rebels. This has been happening off and on, as well as food tasting like dust. I haven't eaten in a day or so and it's left me feeling weak. I know I must be sick, but I've decided to ride it out instead of seeking treatment. I'm still disappointed that my healing power only works on others; it would come in handy right now. While my powers prevent me dying from natural causes, like sickness or starvation, I still suffer the negative effects to a certain extent. I've never tested how far it goes, but I imagine it would leave me pretty weak and uncomfortable. I hope it's never put to the test, but with a life like mine, there're no guarantees.

After I've finished, I take a quick shower and don a heavy gown and corset once more, this one being black. I grab one of my lore books before strolling out to, hopefully, do some reading in the secluded meadow Jackie showed me. I have no responsibilities today, so I'm hoping to use the time to find a hint of who might be the culprit. As I make the short trek, I begin to feel tired and weak. I reach the meadow out of breath and pale. "Cat!" Jackie shouts in alarm as the world begins to spin and darken.

I wake up and am disoriented. I slowly recognize the meadow and realize I must have fainted. "What the hell was that?" Jackie questions in concern. I look to the side and notice my head is on her lap, her hand running through my hair soothingly.

"I haven't been feeling well or eating much. I guess I was too weak from the hike and it caused me to faint. Sorry if I worried you." I apologize. Looking at her face, I can tell she's really worried about me.

"You were out for _hours_! I couldn't carry you and I didn't want to leave you so I just stayed here and watched you." Tears are welling up in her eyes and I wince.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, Jackie. I have a habit of staying out longer than usual. Thanks for staying with me."

"Of course, you stupid woman. I wouldn't just abandon you." she sighs.

I then notice the sky is beginning to darken. "What time is it?"

"Nearly evening. We should leave before it gets dark."

She helps me up and we carefully pick our way back home. The sky is completely dark by the time we reach the edge of the makeshift town, a few scattered torches and the full moon our only source of light. She walks me to my cottage before heading back to her camp. I'm so exhausted I just flop on my bed still in my costume and promptly pass out, completely forgetting about the hunt.

I'm awoken by a knocking. I groan as I haul myself off the bed and shuffle to the door. I blink up at the officer standing on the other side. "Cat Novak?" he asks.

"Yes, how can I help you officer?"

"I was informed that you're close with a young woman named Jackie Frost, is that correct?" he asks with a neutral expression. _Jackie? Why does he want to know about her?_

"That's correct; Jackie's a good friend of mine. Is she in trouble?"

"I'm sorry, she was found dead this morning."

"W-what?" _Not again. I can't lose someone else so soon._

"It looks like an animal attack. When was the last time you saw her?" he begins to interrogate. _The werewolf! I slacked off and now she's dead. This is all my fault._

I answer all the officer's questions then return to my bed, pulling out my laptop. I send a short email to the brothers before grabbing my stuff and flying away.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

 ***2 days earlier***

"It's been weeks and we still don't have a lead on Cat." Dean moans, shutting his laptop in frustration. They've been working nonstop between cases and searching for their sister. They called Cas after leaving Colorado and he soon joined them in the search. He admitted to knowing about Cat's visions, shocking the brothers. They thought it was just the one, but according to Cas there were half a dozen. He told them she could never tell vision from dream until she was in the moment.

"I know, Dean. I'm running out of ideas. I don't know how she hid herself from the tracking spell and her phone GPS is turned off." Sam answers in frustration. These past few weeks have been stressful with Cat missing and the Mark getting stronger. He feels like he's going to lose both siblings at this rate. They haven't heard so much as a whisper about Cat and they're both worried she got herself in some sort of trouble. At first, they were worried she made a deal, but a call to Crowley eased their mind on that.

"Knowing her, she ditched the phone. If she wants to disappear, then we'll never find her. She's probably switched Daphne's plates or has her stored somewhere." Dean throws out. He remembers the other times she has disappeared and how they never found her, she returned on her own. He can only pray she follows the same pattern and returns soon. He can understand her need for space, she lost the only man she ever truly loved, but he hates to think of her out there, alone and probably hunting to distract herself.

"That's what I'm worried about too. We both know how reckless she can get when she's upset. I just hope the Coven hasn't found her." Sam sighs. He too remembers those times, and especially remembers her being captured. The poor girl is a literal magnet for trouble if not properly warded. He hopes she is being smart and using her hex bag.

Suddenly, Dean gets a notification on his phone that he has an email. His eyes get huge when he sees the email address. "Cat." He breathes as he scrambles to open the email.

 _Dean,_

 _Happy birthday! I figured the best present I could give you was the knowledge that I'm alive and safe. I'm sure by now you've heard about Kevin. Don't worry, I'm not going to make any deals or do anything stupid to get him back. Please don't try to find me. I just need some space right now. I'm sorry about this, but I hope you understand._

 _Love,_

 _Cat_

"She's alive!" he exclaims happily, rereading the short message.

" _What_? Let me see!" Sam cries out in surprise. He rushes to Dean and reads the email.

"She remembered. Everything that's going on and she still remembered my birthday." Dean whispers, feeling his eyes begin to tear up. Louder he says, "Can you trace the email?"

"Of course, but odds are she won't be anywhere near the area. Don't forget, she can fly wherever she wants. Most likely she flew to some random place then sent the email." Sam reasons.

"Well it's the first lead we've got. Maybe we can find some clues there." Dean says. "I'm gonna call Cas. He'll want to know she's alive."

"Dean."

"Hey, Cas."

"Did you find a lead on Cat?"

"She just sent me an email. She's alive and safe. She even remembered my birthday. Cas, do you think we're _ever_ going to find her?"

"You must have faith, Dean. Cat is a strong, independent woman who has lost her second half. She's confused and thinks shutting out everyone will keep them from getting hurt. We _will_ find her and bring her back."

"Thanks buddy. I'm just worried we might be too late by then."

"I regret having her get the angel warding. This would be much easier if I could sense her."

"The warding was for the best, Cas. Don't blame yourself." He eventually ends the conversation and turns to Sam. "Anything?"

"It traces back to a public library computer in Michigan." Sam reports.

"Let's go up there and see if they have any security footage." Dean suggests. They quickly gather their things and load up into the Impala.

They get to the library but it's already closed for the night so they get a motel room. The next day, they use their fake IDs, this time as employees of the security company, to access the library's security tapes. They soon find their little sister logging into a computer and sending the email. "She looks so pale and tired." Dean observes sadly. He knows she probably isn't taking very good care of herself.

"I'm not finding any clues, are you?" Sam asks as they replay the footage. Her shirt is just a blue flannel, so no help there. There's no accessories or emblems of places either. All there is to see is pale skin, dark circles under her eyes, shaky hands as she types, and a single tear that is quickly wiped away. "She looks so _broken_. She doesn't realize it, but she needs us. I just hope we can find her before something happens."

They stay another night in the motel, planning do some digging then head out in the morning. While they are on the road, they get another email. "Cat just sent another email." Sam announces.

"What does it say?" Dean asks anxiously. He's hoping she's changed her mind and is coming back.

 _There's a case at this LARP event in Michigan. It's a werewolf. Please hurry!_

 _\- Cat_

"She's giving us a _case_? Why didn't she do it herself? We both know she's been hunting." Dean questions.

"I don't know, but it's only a few hours away from us. We might as well do her this favor." Sam states, looking at the attached flyer and a map. "Looks like it's another medieval event. There have been six people killed so far, the most recent was just last night. Reports are calling them animal attacks."

"Cat said werewolf. When's the full moon?"

"It started last night. We only have a few days to find the werewolf before we have to wait for the next full moon."

"What I don't understand is why she's giving this to us _now_. Do you think something happened? For her to know it's a werewolf would mean that she was working it."

"The last victim was a woman named Jackie Frost, last seen by her friend… _Cat Novak_."

"You think that's _our_ Cat?"

"Novak was Cas' vessel's last name, remember. Guess that explains where she's been and why she's giving this to us now. Poor girl just lost someone else she cares about."

"I hope we can find some clues about where she went. She really shouldn't be hunting on her own like this." Dean states worriedly.

When they get to the event, they split up. Sam goes to the morgue to look at the body while Dean investigates the crime scene. After talking to the coroner, Sam confirms Cat's suspicions of it being a werewolf and joins Dean to talk to participants.

"Arabella was always hanging out with Lady Cassandra when they were both free. They had a special meadow in the woods that they would meet up at. There was a rumor that they were lovers. Greta actually saw them coming back from the woods last night after it was already dark. Lady Cassandra's disappearance after Arabella's death definitely stirred things up. If it wasn't obviously and animal attack, she would be the police's top suspect. No one even saw her leave, but her cottage is cleared of all her stuff."

"Can you show me Lady Cassandra's cottage and direct my partner to this Greta?" Sam asks. This elf seems to enjoy hearing herself speak, but at least it was helpful information.

"Of course. Greta is an elf like me. She should be in the tent next door. The cottage is this way." she directs as she leads Sam down the hill and follows a path to a small cottage. After she walks off, he quickly picks the lock and enters. He's surprised at the mix of period and modern throughout the small area. After a quick search, he finds nothing except some beautiful gowns in the wardrobe. He can only imagine how much of an escape this was for Cat. She had told them how much she loves these types of gowns and he knows she loves this period. He had watched some of the show _Merlin_ with her and she kept commenting on the clothes and how much fun it would be to live like that.

"Oh Cat. Where are you?" he sighs, looking around the empty room.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

After letting my brothers know about the case, I fly back to the storage unit where I stored Daphne. I decide to just drive for a while, distract myself from the tragedy that is my life. Choosing a random direction, I crank up the music and drive. Stopping only to fill up and sleeping in my car, I soon find myself back in Oklahoma. On my trip, I only ate snack foods and drank water from the gas stations I filled up at.

I decide to switch directions and head to Cali. I've rarely been to the Pacific coast. Last time was with my family in the other dimension. We went to Yosemite and San Diego. I really want to see LA though, cliché I know. As I'm driving through Arizona, I'm hit by another wave of nausea and quickly pull over. Later, I begin to have a craving for pickles, so I stop and get some. Different cravings persist throughout my road trip, mostly in the chocolate family since that is like a drug for me. I reach LA and begin sightseeing. During my world tour, I never made it here and Kevin never wanted to go. It's an amazing city and I soon become immersed in the culture, heartbreak pushed to the back of my mind.

After roughly two weeks, I decide to see the Redwood Forest. I drive up and cruise through the forest, marveling at the enormity of the trees. Outside of the official park, I pull my car into some trees to hide it from the road and go for a hike. Walking through the trees, I'm reminded of my beautiful hike in Germany. I'm still upset that witch had to ruin it. It was nice out, the birds were singing, the flora was in full bloom, and there was a variety of fauna. Of course, since it's February 13th, there is a layer of snow on the ground and it's a bit chilly. Luckily, I have a good winter coat since I was living in Colorado. It begins to get dark, so I fly back to my car for the night. Cuddling under my fleece blanket, I soon fall fast asleep.

The next day, I decide to spend driving, heading toward Washington. I get a craving for a chocolate shake so I stop in a small town diner in Oregon for lunch. The kind waitress tells me of a wishing well in the forest and informs me where the path to it starts. Curious, I decide to go see it. I highly doubt it actually works, but she told me it was in the middle of a beautiful garden. I soon arrive and am awed by the bright and beautiful garden. As promised, there is an old fashioned well directly in the center. Fascinated by the surroundings, I fail to notice the woman coming up behind me.

She grabs my arm and yanks me around. We struggle, but she has a partner who joins and subdues me. We were completely isolated, the town being a good ten minute walk away, so no comes to my rescue. As I am forced to walk away, special cuffs making it impossible to escape, I notice my locket shining on the ground in a patch of carnations. Remembering an incantation I once read and using some of my power to strengthen it, I watch as the white flowers turn to blue. If my brothers are tracking me, the unnaturally blue flowers will lead them to my precious locket. It pains me to leave it behind, but I don't really have a choice.

I'm forced into the back of a van, a sack is yanked over my head, and I hear some Latin before I blackout. When I come to, I find myself in a drafty cave, shackled by my ankle to the wall. The walls are covered in various warding symbols, keeping me from accessing my powers. I can hear the sound of approaching footsteps and a short-haired blonde woman strolls into view.

"Oh good, you're awake." she proclaims, seeing me staring at her warily.

"Let me guess, Grand Coven _bitch_. Sorry, witch." I quip.

"Not just _any_ witch, my dear. I'm the High Priestess Olivette."

"So _head_ bitch. To what do I owe the _honor_ of your personal involvement in my capture?" I snark. I'm so done with all these damn witches. If it's not one thing, it's another. Just once, I'd like to go over a year without my life or someone I love's life being threatened. I'm a far cry from the victim I used to be. I've been through so much and I've learned so much that I am able to remain calm in the face of adversity.

"You've been a difficult one to find and keep. Mággisa should have brought you straight to the Coven, but she was power hungry and wanted the boost for herself. This time, we're going to do this right and your precious Winchesters won't even know you need rescuing." she reveals.

"You know, I've heard that speech before. You're not the first one to underestimate me." I remind her cockily.

"We'll see. The ritual is almost ready. I'll leave you to your thoughts." she finishes before walking back into the shadows and out of sight.

After she leaves, I realize I still have one ace up my sleeve. _Cas, it's Cat. I'm sorry for ignoring y'all, but I need your help. The Grand Coven captured me in Oregon and are holding me in some cave. There's warding and shackles so I can't escape on my own. I need you._

 **A/N: Finally came back to the original problem, the Coven. Maybe a certain redhead will make an appearance ;) Sorry for the delayed update, but last week was hella busy and stressful. Hope you enjoyed and as always, I'd love to hear feedback! Til next time :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**S.O.S.**

Cas is with the Winchesters in the Bunker when he hears Cat's cry for help. "Cat's in _danger_!" he exclaims suddenly, startling the brothers. They had been talking about the Mark before he received the prayer.

" _What_?! How do you know?" Dean demands. They haven't heard from her since the werewolf hunt, which they were able to finish quickly after determining it was one of the security guards.

"She just prayed to me. She was captured by the Grand Coven and they are holding her in a cave with her powers bound." Cas tells them.

"Does she know where?" Sam questions anxiously. He's worried about their youngest. The Grand Coven are not to be taken lightly. He shudders at the thought of what might happen.

"She said she was taken in Oregon, but didn't give any details." Cas says, frustration clear in his voice.

"It's almost _exactly_ two years since she was captured the first time. Do you think the date has a significance?" Dean observes. He will never forget the horror and fear of that fateful day. Losing her in the store, finding her shackled and unconscious while bleeding out of a myriad of cuts, and the fear that she would never wake up in that stuffy sterile hospital room. They had barely known her at that time, but she had already made a place for herself in their hearts. He clenches his fists at the unfairness of it all. She deserves to catch a break, but the damn universe keeps throwing punches and knocking her down as soon as she regains her feet.

He admires her stubbornness of always getting back up even though she knows she'll soon be back in the dust. If he didn't know better, he would think she was a blood Winchester. As time goes by, he notices she has gained many very Winchester traits. She's scary good at hunting, she has sacrificed herself for a loved one, she has lost a loved one, she has been through Hell and back, and, unfortunately, she puts her life at risk with reckless behavior.

"That could be the case, or it could just be a coincidence. She was also captured in July." Sam reminds him. He hates bringing that time up to Dean as he never fully forgave himself for it, despite Cat's constant assurances that it was forgiven. He still remembers the nights his brother would drink himself to sleep while their youngest was in the wind. He had beat himself up over it, but still put his best effort into finding her. The transformation of his brother when Cat landed back in their lives was a complete 180. He was lighter, his eyes were brighter, and he actually smiled. Though he tried to hide it, Sam still catches him flinching or getting a sad guilty look whenever that time is brought up, like now.

"Either way, we need to find her quick. Given her track record, they aren't going to want to keep her any longer than necessary." Dean states. He's worried the Coven will kill her as soon as possible to prevent another escape attempt. "Do we have anything that can help?"

"What about the tracking spell?" Cas suggests. They quickly gather everything they need, but the pendulum just keeps swinging, never stopping at a point. "Looks like the warding hides her from this spell." Cas observes sadly.

"Great! They're getting smarter. Any other bright ideas?" Dean exclaims in frustration.

"I'll see what I can find." Cas states before quickly exiting the Bunker. He's hoping some of his contacts might know of anything that could help. Like Dean, he's worried her time is very limited.

"Let's see what we can come up with on our end." Dean instructs, turning back to his laptop. He refuses to give up hope for their young Penelope Pitstop.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

After sending the distress call to Cas, I begin scanning my surroundings more thoroughly. It's pretty barren, just a cold smooth cave floor with a small clear running stream. The walls are only adorned by the warding and the connection to my shackle, which has warding etched on it as well. There are no formations or jagged edges I could use to try to escape. In other words, I'm _royally screwed_.

I can't _believe_ I fell for their trap. There were so many signs that something was wrong, but I ignored them. The lack of snow, the warmer weather, the freaking blossoming garden in _winter_. It's like I was walking around in a fog, but now it's been lifted. Hindsight is truly 20/20. Sam and Dean are going to be so disappointed if they find out, they trained me better than that!

The chanting stops and I hear footsteps returning down the tunnel. Soon, two new witches walk into my little cave. One is rather short with long blonde hair while the other is average height with dark skin. They walk straight up to me and the darker one yanks me up harshly as the shorter one clasps a thick bracelet on my wrist before mumbling something. The band suddenly glows with symbols I recognize from the surrounding walls.

"That should keep you nice and powerless." the short one sneers. I've decided to call her Helga due to her Swedish accent and the other Tatianna due to the tribal tats on her arms.

"And don't even think of trying to remove it. Only someone else can remove it now." Tatianna scoffs.

"Why would I remove such a lovely piece of jewelry?" I sass. "I think it really works with my shackle."

Helga slaps my face and I taste blood. I spit it in her face with a smirk and she winds up and punches me in the stomach. For a tiny person, she sure has some power in her wallop and I collapse to my knees as I try to breathe through my wheezing.

"Enough Gunda. We need to get her to the altar." Tatianna barks as Gunda, apparently, rears her leg back to kick me.

"You're such a killjoy, Subira." Gunda complains, but she ducks down and removes my shackle while Subira keeps a bruising grip on my wrist. They drag me down the tunnel, through another, larger cave, until we reach the tree-lined clearing outside. The night is lit by torches circling the clearing. In the middle, is a stone altar surrounded by what I assume are members of the Coven. There seems to be a diverse array of members from a variety of different ethnicities.

"At last, the time has come!" Olivette proclaims as I am led through the crowd and up to the altar. "For too long we've been hunted and persecuted by those who are ignorant. We've cowered in hovels, rarely coming out into the light of day, fearing for our lives. After tonight, those days will be over! It will be _them_ who cower in fear. _Them_ who hide from _us_! After tonight, we will be more powerful than we've ever dreamed! With this woman's blood, we will usher in a new era, the era of _Magic_!"

As she makes her speech, I scan the surroundings, hoping for a chance to escape. I notice movement in the shadows between the trees. Suddenly, the clearing is attacked by a hoard of demons, their black eyes flashing. In their haste to fight or flee, the witches release me and I quickly run back toward the cave, which was closest to me. Before I reach the safety of its mouth, I'm grabbed by a demon. "Look what the cat dragged in." it grins unsettlingly. "Come back for more?"

"You must have me confused with someone else, because I've never seen you in my life." I bite out as it holds me against the rocks with an angel blade against my throat.

"I'm hurt, Caitlin. I thought we had a good old time." it mocks in a fake hurt voice. My eyes widen in recognition. "There we go, I knew I made a lasting impression. Maybe we should go for round two. I can easily get rid of that pesky tattoo."

"Maybe we should switch roles." I grunt as I wrestle for the blade. I get the upper hand and thrust the blade deep into its body. It flashes orange before dropping to the ground. Seeing the battle still raging, I keep the blade and quickly take shelter in the cave.

While I'm avoiding the battle, I begin to wonder why the sudden demon attack, then it hits me. Crowley must be capturing Olivette for Rowena. If I trusted him, I'd try to find him in the fray. Unfortunately, I've had limited interaction with him and those times don't really nurture any sort of trust. It would have been the perfect way to get back to my family too. He and Dean have a sort of friendship, after all.

Just as I'm about to say _screw it_ and search for Crowley, the noise outside ceases. I carefully sneak to the mouth of the cave and am met by a gruesome sight. There are dead bodies everywhere. I pick my way through them to reach the surrounding forest. It looks like none of them survived, minus Olivette of course. As I near the trees, I stumble on a leg. Following it up, I see the face of Gunda. I quickly scramble up and bolt into the forest and away from blank staring eyes.

I stop running after a few minutes and sit down. I'm not in the shape I used to be and am breathing hard from the sprint. After I get my breath back, I start planning what to do. I still have no idea where I am and now I'm lost in the wilderness with only an angel blade for protection. I quickly realize what my first move should be.

 _Cas. Well the good news is that I'm not dead. Bad news is I still have no idea where I am except that it's a forest. Demons attacked the witches and killed them all but I managed to sneak an angel blade. I still have no powers. I was so stupid to run off like that. I miss all of you. If I make it back, I promise to never do that again. I love y'all and don't worry, I'll be okay._

After letting Cas, and therefore my brothers, know I'm alive, I choose a direction and start walking. The plan is to stick to one direction and hopefully find civilization. The civilian in me is worried about what kind of predators could be lurking in the shadows while the hunter side of me is more concerned with the monsters. This seems like a likely spot to run into a wendigo and the only fire I have is the lighter I always keep in my back pocket. I stay on high alert as I hike into the distance.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"You summoned…Your Royal Highness!" Rowena says dramatically as she gives an exaggerated curtsey.

"Mother." Crowley acknowledges.

"Oh, he remembers! What can I do for you?" she replies mockingly.

"It's what I can do for you. I've been thinking just how wretched it would be if my own raison D'ĕtre – wreaking havoc and pain on Earth – were taken from me. I see how stifled you must feel, and I sympathize." Crowley starts.

"Does this mean that you'll go to the Grand Coven on my behalf?" Rowena asks hopefully.

Crowley rises from his throne and says, "Even better. I've brought the coven to you." Behind him, two demon guards bring in a woman bound in chains. "I believe you know Olivette, High Priestess of the Grand Coven. Speechless with joy?"

Rowena looks shocked to see her former persecutor trussed up and presented to her. "You utter bitch!" she exclaims angrily to Olivette.

"Bottom feeder!" Olivette retorts.

"Ah, the storm before the storm. As you can see, the iron chains render her powerless, so you can plead your case, exact your revenge, whatever it is that puts a spring back in your step. You kids have fun now." Crowley declares before he and his minions exit the throne room, leaving the two witches alone.

"I see your time as outcast has led you from vile to loathsome." Olivette sneers.

"I doubt this strategy of insults will get you out of this pickle." Rowena chuckles

"Mm, no. I do not grovel before she who lay with a non-magic and hatches his evil spawn."

"My personal life was none of your business. I could have been your superstar."

"Oh, please! When we initiated your thankless ass into the coven, we did overlook your private lapses because of your talent. We thought you'd outgrown your reckless, selfish ways, but, oh, no, they just grew out of control. And now look at you, consorting with demons."

"Quite the speech" Rowena chuckles as she slowly walks over to Olivette and touches her necklace. "Considering you're in my son's palace."

Olivette is appalled at this news. "What?"

"You see, my son, the spawn you speak of, is now the King of Hell. Total Cinderella story, I'd say." she laughs. "Oh, aye. And now you, dearest Olivette, are prisoner of the baddest of the bad. And his devoted Mummy."

"Your son had horrible timing. We were about to perform a ceremony that would strengthen all witches' magic."

"What?" Rowena exclaims in surprise.

"Yes. Your petty feud just ruined our best chance of returning to what we once were. The coven is a pale relic of its past power, weakened by witch-hunts, burning at the stake, endless persecution; all of it was engineered by them."

"Them?"

"The Men of Letters. About 22 years ago, we instigated a backup plan. Have you ever heard of the Corruption ritual?"

"Long ago. It was something to do with tainting an unusually pure soul."

"Correct. We found such a soul and I performed the ritual. It called for demon blood, angel Grace, and a Purgatory soul. We wanted it to be as strong as possible so we used high-ranking ingredients. The blood was from Lilith, the _first_ demon. That took a lot of searching and killing to find. The Grace was from an archangel. That was a bitch to acquire, but I found someone who stole some from Gabriel, who was masquerading as Loki. The Purgatory soul was the most difficult. It took a very powerful and complicated spell to steal a portion of Eve's soul. After the ritual, we switch the child out with a counterpart in a different dimension, hoping to keep it away from anyone who would seek to stop us."

"How is all that supposed to strengthen magic?" Rowena asks skeptically.

"Once we brought her back at the right time, we needed to trigger her transformation then collect all her blood. Her blood is a very powerful substance. With it, a simple incantation would've made us unstoppable!"

"Where is this wee lamb?" Rowena questions, interest peaked by Olivette's revelations.

"I'd rather die than tell you. You would only use the power for yourself!" Olivette exclaims in resentment.

Rowena is enraged by this and slaps her. "Tell me!"

"Go to Hell!" Olivette spits.

"Dearie, we're already there. You're going to tell me what I want to know." Rowena threatens. She's going to get what she wants, even if she has to torture it out of Olivette. The poor lass won't stand a chance after Rowena finds her. Soon, she will be the most powerful witch in the world!

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

Cas is driving back to the Bunker empty handed when he gets Cat's prayer. He was worried they were too late, but hearing her soft voice in his head fills him with relief. He couldn't imagine losing her and he knows the brothers would be devastated if they lost her again. He drives through the night and arrives the next evening.

"Cas. Find anything?" Dean greets him at the door.

"No, but she prayed again." Cas says as they head toward the library where Sam is typing away furiously on his laptop.

"What did she say? Did she give a hint to her location?" Dean asks hopefully. Sam looks up and stares at Cas expectantly, waiting for an answer. Cas relays her message and watches different emotions flash over the brothers' faces. Relief, frustration, surprise, sadness, and love are just a few that he picks up.

"That doesn't give us much to work with. I wish we could _talk_ to her, let her know we're looking for her." Sam sighs.

"So demons killed the witches? I wonder if they were working for Crowley." Dean ponders.

"What does that matter?" Sam asks in annoyance. He still doesn't like or trust Crowley.

"Think about it, Sam. If it was Crowley, then he could tell us where she was. I doubt she stuck around, but at least we'll have a starting point." Dean explains. Sam and Cas grudgingly agree and Dean calls the King of Hell. "He's not answering." Dean growls as he hangs up on the fifth missed call.

"Big surprise." Sam says sarcastically. They begin to throw out new ideas and suddenly Cas remembers something from their past.

"Do you guys still have some African dream root?" he asks as he begins forming a plan.

"Cas, that's perfect! We can talk to her in her dream!" Sam exclaims excitedly, then his face drops. "But we don't have any of her DNA. She thoroughly cleaned out everything before moving out." he sighs dejectedly.

Dean gets a sheepish look on his face. "Well that's not completely true. After the last time we used the root, I collected samples from her, you, and myself as a precaution. You never know when DNA will come in handy." Dean admits.

"Well thank God you did. We can finally talk to her after months of silence. Let's get everything ready." Sam states before heading off to gather everything they need.

"Dean." Cas says as Dean starts to move off to get the hair samples he has hidden in his room.

"Yeah, Cas?" he asks distractedly, but stops to see what his friend needs.

"Would it be okay if I came as well? I can no longer enter dreams on my own, my Grace is too weak." Cas asks shyly. He hates admitting his weakness, but he doesn't want to pass up an opportunity to see for himself that Cat is okay.

"Of course, Buddy. She'd love to see you. She cares deeply about you, you know." Dean says with a smile. He then turns and fetches the DNA. An hour later, they have three cups of the disgusting concoction in front of them. "L'chaim!" Dean proclaims before downing the contents of his cup. Sam and Cas follow suit and are soon all fast asleep in their chairs.

 **A/N: I love Rowena and I thought she would be perfect to add into this story. I should have the next chapter up next week. Until then!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Just a Dream**

After having hiked through the night and late into the next evening, I find a decent sized tree and decide to sleep in its branches for the night. I'm reminded of Purgatory, except instead of a perpetual haze and foul smelling air, the sky is clear and the air crisp. Marking an arrow on the tree with my blade, I make a wide circle around the area to search for threats, food, and a stream to drink from. My last meal was at that diner a few days ago and I'm starving! I manage to find a mostly frozen stream, but no food. Guess I should have known food would be scarce, it's still winter so most plants are dead.

Retracing my steps to my tree, I climb up and decide to empty my pockets to see what all I have to work with. I find a pair of gloves, a small can of mace, my lighter, a Swiss army knife, a linty mint, my prepaid cellphone, and a scarf. I quickly put the scarf and gloves on then look at the phone. As I expected, no bars. I shut it down to save battery until I reach somewhere that might have reception.

Popping the mint in my mouth, I lean back, wrap my coat around me, and close my eyes. When I blink my eyes open, my heart stops. Standing in front of me is Kevin. I instantly recognize that I'm dreaming and I can only hope this _one_ dream won't turn to a nightmare like all the others. I rush into the arms of Kevin and cry into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Kev. I should never've brought up that stupid case. You would still be alive if it wasn't for me." He suddenly gasps in pain and I draw back. There's blood running from his mouth and his face is contorted in pain.

"It's all your fault. _You_ killed me. You _knew_ it would happen and you did _nothing_." he accuses.

"I'm sorry, Kev. Please forgive me." I plead. "I didn't want to believe it, you were too young to die like that!"

"You're a monster and everyone you care about gets hurt or killed. You're poison, Caitlin. We should have killed you as soon as we found out you weren't human." he spits out venomously.

"You don't mean that! I loved you, I still do. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't grieve for you. I hate that our last words were full of anger and hatred. I never wanted to cause you pain. Please, I'm begging you. Please, forgive me." I cry.

"Why would I forgive a bitch like you? You ruined my life and drug me down constantly, wrapping me up in your problems. It's because of you that I'm dead! I wish I never met you." he proclaims with contempt dripping from each word.

"Kevin is right. You're a burden. We should have just left you in that basement. You've brought nothing but trouble. I wish you never appeared in the Impala. Our lives were better before you came in and ruined everything." Sam sneers.

"We regret ever bringing you into our family. You're not our sister and never have been. We just pitied you. Why do you think we left you locked in the Bunker so often? We couldn't wait to get away from you. You obviously never cared about us either. You let Sam almost die during the Trials. You even stood by and watched as I became a demon! You're not family, you're a monster. You're one of the things we hunt." Dean cruelly states.

"When I found out your true nature, I should have just made you explode right then. You've been nothing but an annoyance to me. Always complaining and telling me boring stories. I only put up with it because of Sam and Dean. You were never more than I child I was babysitting." Cas declares scornfully.

"No, please…" I breathe in shock. While the gist of the dream is always the same, the words change every time. This is by far the worst one yet. This is the first time my three brother have made an appearance and it hurts even more. I feel like they were stabbing me with each hate-filled word spit in my face. I reach out to Kevin and just barely graze his shoulder with my hand.

He seizes violently then drops to the ground, dead. "Kev? No, not again. Please, not again. I can't take this every night." I cry. I try to reach out to Sam, Dean, and Cas with the same result. I drop to my knees on the ground and place my head in my hands as I sob violently. I'm so caught up in my grief and anguish that I don't notice the intruders in my dream.

"Cat?" I hear a voice say nervously. I whip my head up because I would recognize the voice of Cas anywhere. I dart my eyes to the body lying on the ground in front of me, but the voice had come from behind me.

"Cas? What are you doing in my dream?" I choke out as I try to dry the tears in my eyes and face him. I'm fully aware of the bodies behind me and am not quite emotionally stable at the moment.

"Not just him, sweetheart." another voice pipes up gently.

"Dean? Sam? How did all of you-?"

"African Dream Root." Sam explains.

"H-how long were y'all standing there?" I question. I pray they didn't hear everything. I couldn't bear it if they agreed; I did freeze them out and refused to give information that could've been lifesaving. Each person had voiced my deepest fears, things I've buried for ages. The truth mixed in their words makes me believe them, and that's not something I can afford.

The only thing keeping me going is the love of my family. Without that, I have nothing and may as well just give up and let the forest claim me. If I'm lucky, I may even get a get out of Purgatory free card and make it to Heaven. I can only hope my salvation in my old dimension will count in this one.

They exchange uneasy glances before looking at me. "The whole time, kitten." Sam finally admits, using his pet name for me.

"Please tell me you don't believe any of that." Dean exclaims with watery eyes. Looking closer, I notice they all have tears in their eyes.

"It's true. I am a monster. Keeping information to myself caused so much pain and death. I am poison. Maybe it was fate I ended up in this situation, cut off from people. I can't hurt anyone this way." I reply dejectedly.

"Caitlin Noel Winchester, you are _NOT_ a monster. You're the sweetest girl I've ever known. All these things that have happened, they're _not your fault_. All those things your dream said to you aren't true. You've never been just a babysitting job. I've genuinely loved hearing your stories and being there to help with your problems. I would never wish to have killed you." Cas states firmly.

"We've never regretted having you in our family, princess. You're our little Sleeping Beauty. We hated leaving you behind, but you were safer that way. We never even considered killing you. That was never an option." Dean assures.

"You're our sister, Cat. Forever and always. Family doesn't end in blood. Family are the people that care about you and stick with you through everything. Families fight, sure, but at the end of the day, they still love each other." Sam explains lovingly.

"But-" I start to protest but am cut off by the three of them hugging me tightly.

"No. No buts. We all love you so much, little sis. Never believe anyone who tells you differently." Dean demands.

"Okay, De. I promise." I reply with a small smile gracing my lips. We stay like that for a while before I pull back and ask the question that's been nagging at me for a while. "Why are you guys here?"

"We were hoping we could figure out some clue as to where you are. Plus, we missed you. We haven't seen you in months." Sam tells me.

"Cat, why did you go AWOL? We were so worried about you!" Dean questions, a hurt look on his face.

"I just needed space and time to grieve. I was going to come back eventually." I explain with a sigh.

"We killed that werewolf. It was one of the security guards." Sam relays, hoping a bit of good news might cheer me up.

"Thank you. After Jackie I just couldn't…" I say gratefully.

"What are big brothers for?" Dean jokes. "By the way, how did the witches find you? I thought you were warded against them with that hex bag."

"I was." I say. "I don't know how they found me, but I know they led me into a trap. I must have been really out of it to not notice. There were so many signs something was off." I admit, blushing in embarrassment.

"When exactly did they take you? I got your prayer on the 15th, but you could have been unconscious for a while." Cas questions.

"Valentine's Day. Talk about coincidence, huh?" I joke weakly.

"Do you have any clues at all about where you are?" Sam asks, waiting for my answer expectantly.

"Not much. I'm in a forest with hills and cliffs. It recently snowed. That's about it, not really helpful." I reply frustrated. I wish I had something more helpful to give them.

"Snow? Are you warm enough? We don't want you to freeze." Dean exclaims in big brother mode.

"Yes, mom." I tease. "I've got my wool coat, a sweater, a thermal, leggings, jeans, boots, two layers of socks, gloves, and a scarf. It was cold in the last place I was too."

"Hey, it's my job to worry about you squirt." Dean teases back. He then turns serious. "Be careful, there are all kinds of dangers in the woods."

"I will. At least I have an angel blade for protection. I just pray I won't be stuck here forever. What if y'all never find me and I get stuck wandering through these trees for the rest of my life?"

Cas surprises all of us when he sweeps me into a hug. "We _will_ find you. Don't lose hope." he whispers fiercely.

Sam hugs me next. "You're going to be okay. We're _coming_ for you. You're not going to be here forever."

Dean is last. He doesn't say a word, just hugs me tightly and gives me a determined look. Everything begins to fade as I wake up. "Please hurry." I whisper.

 ***1 week later***

I can't quite place it, but I've been getting a weird feeling ever since I walked into the denser section of trees. Over the past week, I've discovered my skill with a blade can come in handy for hunting food. While I hated killing and roasting those rabbits, I need to eat if I'm going to have the energy to survive. Keeping my senses alert, I cautiously continue walking until it begins to get dark.

Choosing a tree for the night, I pull out my left over rabbit meat that I had wrapped up in my scarf and stuffed in my pocket for safekeeping. While cold rabbit isn't the most tantalizing thing, I don't want to make a fire while I have this weird gut feeling. I am almost 100% certain that whatever it is, has to do with the supernatural. After my stint in Purgatory, I've developed a sort of creature detector.

This supersensitive ability has helped on many a hunt with my bros, but now it could very well save my life. I know for a fact that it's been following me for a few hours and is now lurking off in the trees, probably waiting to catch me off guard. I've never wished so hard for Daphne and her fully stocked weapons cache in the trunk. I hope they find her and my locket; I'd hate to lose them.

 _Hey, Cas. Just a weekly update to let you know I'm alive. Don't want y'all getting too worried. You have enough to deal with as it is with the Mark of Cain affecting Dean. Do me a favor though. If you see Charlie, keep a close eye on her._

Maybe I can save her, unlike Kevin. All I did for him was extend his time a bit longer. While I was praying, I lost track of the creature stalking me. It wasn't for long, but apparently, that was what it was waiting for. Without warning, I'm yanked from the tree by a pair of viciously sharp claws. I can feel them pierce my flesh and I cry out in surprise and pain. The last thing I see before I'm knocked out is a decrepit looking man.

I come to and am once again in a cave. This time I'm hanging from the ropes secured around my wrists which are above my head and stretching my arms to the point of pain. I groan and look to see if the creature is in the cave with me. "Freakin wendigo." I grumble. The flash I got of it before I was hit over the head revealed the visage of a wendigo.

I've never hunted a wendigo, but I know how to kill them. I recall one of Dean's training sessions involved improvised weapons for a variety of creatures. One of the things we did was making a flamethrower from everyday objects. Luckily, after that I decided to be prepared. My lighter and the can of mace should work nicely. Now I just have to get free.

It looks like I'm the first victim of this round for the wendigo, so my time is extremely short. It looks like my blade didn't make the trip with me and my knife is out of reach in my back pocket. With no other options, I begin yanking as hard as I can. After the ten hard tug, I feel a bit of give in the rope. After another twenty or so arm wrenching pulls, I have enough slack in the rope to wiggle my hands out. I'm so glad that while my fingers are long, they're slender or I would still be dangling on my tiptoes.

I rub my wrists and rotate my shoulders to work out the stiffness before grabbing the two things I will need to torch this SOB. I begin traveling down the tunnel and am hit by a rancid odor. It smells like rotting meat and I know it's close. I round the corner and see a large open area of the cave. It is littered with bones and I can see the wendigo on the far side.

He hasn't noticed me so I freeze and quickly formulate a plan. The one I decide on would make Dean proud. "Hey, fugly! Ever heard of a maid? This place is filthy!" I shout mockingly. This gets his attention, just like I wanted. My hands are hidden from view as he barrels toward me. I only have one shot of catching him off guard, so I wait until he is within spitting distance before whipping out my mace and lighter. With lightning reflexes developed from years of training and hunting, I flick the lighter and spray the mace.

Luck was on my side and my lighter ignited on the first flick. "Surprise you ugly son of a bitch. You messed with the wrong girl." I gloat as I watch him burn before exploding. "Well that was fun." I groan as my head continues to pound. I most likely have a concussion from the hit to the head he gave me. I begin to search the cave, hoping maybe he has something I can use. "Oh you've got to be kidding me!" I exclaim in anger.

The cave only holds bones of past victims, which means my angel blade, my only weapon, is back at the tree I was taken from. "Bastard couldn't make things easy could he." I sigh tiredly. "He better have at least left a trail I can follow." With that, I exit the cave and reenter the forest. I'm in luck and there is a subtle trail of scuff marks from my body and claw marks on a few trees.

It's a few hours before I stumble back to the tree. I'm exhausted so I just pick my blade up off the ground and climb back up in the tree. I'm out as soon as my eyes close, the excitement of the day draining me. The universe decides to allow me to catch a break, my sleep dreamless and uninterrupted.

 ***Two weeks later***

I've begun to notice something weird with my body. Spring is near and there are more animals out, which means I'm not starving. Still, it doesn't explain the sizeable bulge in my stomach. Maybe I ate something bad and it caused me to bloat? Other than making my clothes a bit tight, it hasn't really affected me so I just keep it in the peripheral of my thoughts. My biggest concern remains trying to escape what seems like a never-ending wilderness. I've been here for nearly a month and the only sign of other people were the bones in the wendigo's cave.

I've made sure to let Cas know I'm alive, though I left out the wendigo. I didn't want to worry them. They haven't made any reappearances in my dreams, but I hold onto the hope they are looking for me. I curse the witches for using a more permanent version of the cloaking spell I had used daily to hide from any tracking spells. If I hadn't been so dense and stubborn, I would be with my family helping with the Mark instead of wandering these godforsaken woods.

In another few weeks, the stomach bulge gets bumped up to a major concern. It hasn't gone away and has actually grown a bit. There's only one thing I can think of that could cause this. _It can't be, can it? They said it was impossible, that they were destroyed! That was before Purgatory and the healing involved after that…Oh no! No, no, no, no, NO! This cannot be happening! Please, Chuck, let me be wrong! I never started up again, how is this possible? It was just the one time! Oh shit! What if I'm never rescued, what happens then? I can't raise a child like this!_

My situation has just become that more complicated and urgent. I'm mostly terrified by this newest development. I'm not mom material and I'm going to have to raise them as a single parent. If my math is right, they will be due in September. I can only hope I'm free by then, because rearing a child in the wild in winter is daunting.

There are three men who need to know about this, if only to give extra motivation to find me soon. _Cas? I hope y'all at least have a lead on where I am because something just happened. I-I'm pregnant. The baby bump is unmistakeable. Looks like the universe is still out to ruin my life. It's not bad enough I'm lost, but now I have to worry about a child I didn't even think it was possible to have. Kevin would be happy. He always wanted to be a father. Shit, I'm rambling. Please hurry, I love y'all!_

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

Cas is only a few hours from the Bunker when he receives the prayer so he decides to drive there to deliver the news of this latest development. _Pregnant. Father, please help us to find her before she has to give birth alone._ He arrives at the Bunker and Dean lets him in.

"What's up, Cas? You look worried." he comments.

"I just got a prayer from Cat. Where's Sam?" Cas questions. He wants to tell them together, knowing how important this news is.

"In his room. I'll go get him." Dean says with a concerned look before walking toward the rooms.

Dean soon returns with Sam, both wearing anxious expressions. "What did Cat say?"

"Sam, Dean, you're going to be uncles."

"Wait. What? _How_?" Dean sputters.

"All the healing after Purgatory repaired the damage, if it wasn't already healed." Cas explains.

"What do you mean _if_?" Sam questions.

"The manifestation of her powers could have healed her." Cas reveals.

"Wouldn't she _notice_?" Dean exclaims in confusion. He's pretty sure _that_ is hard to miss.

"Not necessarily. Her powers could prevent the breaking down of her uterine lining, arresting her reproductive cycle until fertilization occurred."

"Whoa, Cas! Little more biology than I needed or understood." Dean interjects.

"To sum up, her cycle was put on _pause_ until she conceived." Sam informs his brother.

"Wow, guess that _would_ make it hard for her to notice." Dean replies in understanding.

"So Cat is pregnant _and_ lost. We need to find her before has to give birth alone. I can't imagine how she's feeling right now. When we broke the news about the damage, she said she never really wanted kids anyway." Sam frets.

"Is it okay? I can't imagine her current condition is healthy for the baby. I bet food is a bit scarce right now." Dean adds, worried for the life he now knows is growing in his little sister.

"I'm sure it will be fine, Dean. Cat is resourceful. She'll make sure it's safe." Sam reminds his brother.

"My niece or nephew is _not_ going to be born in some godforsaken forest! If those witches weren't already dead, I'd hunt each one down and rip out their hearts!" Dean growls.

Cas is concerned by Dean's violence and shares a look with Sam. Before he heard from Cat, he and Sam had come up with a plan to help Dean with the Mark. A plan that they were going to pursue the next day. "Cas, it's late. Why don't you stay here for the night?" Sam suggests.

"Thank you, Sam." Cas replies. They all head their rooms and the next day Cas and Sam go off to find a psychic and break Metatron out of Heaven. Dean entertains himself in the Bunker for a while before heading to a local bar. After his confrontation with Rowena and conversation with Crowley, he begins to think. _Would Rowena have any clue where Cat is?_ He calls Crowley, but finds out Rowena is in the wind. Tired, he heads back to the Bunker.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

After Crowley kicks her out, Rowena goes into hiding. Before she left, she had gotten some information about the tainted soul from Olivette. It wasn't much, just a name. The name, however, gave her an idea where to start her search. "Cat _Winchester_. Perpetually the _Winchesters_." she muses as she paces her newest hiding hole. It's nothing like the lavish suites she's grown accustomed to, but now that she is on the King of Hell's hit list, she has to lay low.

 _It seems the Winchesters hold both paths to power. The question is, do I eliminate them or play them._ She thinks to herself. She could eliminate them and take the knowledge of the Men of Letters for herself, or she could play them and use them to find this Cat. "Och, the Winchesters are like cockroaches. It will be easier to manipulate them." she decides. She had already tried her typical ways of tracking someone down, but she could never get a location. She's hoping the Winchesters will know something that could help focus the search.

She begins to plot and comes up with a plan to get the Winchesters to come to her. She knows they will never trust her if she approaches them herself.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Are you sure it was Rowena? Yeah that sound like her. Thanks, Steve." Dean says before hanging up. "Steve spotted Rowena in Seattle."

"Is he sure? That's a long drive for a false lead." Sam replies. They have been hunting for Rowena ever since Dean realized she could help them find Cat a few weeks ago.

"He described her a fancy dressed redheaded Scott."

"When are we leaving?"

"As soon as we're packed. This is the first real lead we've gotten on Cat."

They're soon packed and on the road. It seems ironic that they are once more hunting down a supernatural being in Seattle to rescue Cat. They hope that this time it'll be easier. Locating that reaper had taken weeks.

When they finally arrive the next day, they meet up with Steve. "I've kept an eye on her like you asked." he tells them after they order their food in a small diner.

"Do you know where she is staying?" Dean asks urgently. They're so close to finding Cat, he can feel it.

"Yeah, she seems to be living in an abandoned warehouse on the edge of the city." Steve reveals. He gives them an exact location, and after paying for their food, they get into the Impala and head toward the building Steve directed them to.

When they arrive, they load witch-killing bullets into their guns and carefully approach the rotting structure. "This is nothing like the fancy rooms she usually goes for." Sam observes under his breath. They stealthily make their way in and see Rowena sitting at a little table, sipping a cup of tea. Both the table and the chair are too nice to be in the condemned warehouse.

Rowena sets her cup down on the saucer before saying, "You're just in time for tea."

 _ **A/N: Things are getting interesting now! Will Cat be found before her September due date? Will Rowena double cross the brothers? Next update will most likely be next week. As always, reviews appreciated! TTFN**_

 _ **Announcement: I have picked back up on a fic I started months ago and may be posting it sometime in the following weeks. It is still unnamed, but I will let you know how that develops. Also, please take the time to participate in my poll. I'm trying to improve my writing style so it would be very helpful.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Sweet Child O' Mine**

Four months, according to the phone I powered up for a short signal check. I feel like I'm too big for that, but I'm not really experienced in this area. The last time I remember being around a pregnant woman was when my aunt was pregnant with my youngest cousin, which was nearly seven or eight years before my dimension jump. Moments like this really make me ache for the warm familiarity of my mom's arms. I could use her help in this new and utterly terrifying adventure.

I've thought of her often over the years. I try not to let on how much it pains me, but I've caught a few sympathetic glances thrown my way from my new family. I would have to be a cold-hearted bitch to not ever think of those I left behind. I often contemplate what could be happening in my old home as I trek through the trees. Has my sister had a child with her husband? Have my friends graduated college or gotten into new relationships? Then my thoughts inevitably drift to what I would be doing there. Would I have found someone? I know I would be graduated, having been a year ahead from taking semester after semester with a full class load. Would I have found a good job?

It's not just my old life that fills my head. Another favorite place for my mind to go is much less optimistic. It's filled with thoughts of everything I think I've done wrong and all the problems I've caused. It also ventures into the darkest pit and contemplates if I should have taken Tessa's offer all those years ago. I haven't really done anything world shattering that I can think back on and say I made the right choice. My frankly _ridiculous_ rule of noninterference insured that. If I ever get back, that is definitely going out the window.

My thoughts return to my aching body as I find a small stream and sit down to rest for a bit. Spring is in full swing and the ground is covered in flowers while the bushes are full of juicy berries. I've used my survivalist knowledge to supplement my diet with fruit as much as possible, knowing it is healthier for the tiny human developing inside of me. There is a blueberry bush near the stream so I pluck some berries and pop them in my mouth before drinking deeply from the clear cool water of the rushing stream.

I sit back and rub unconscious circles on my protruding belly as I soak up the sun. Lately it has been warm enough that I have had to shed most of my layers. I have my wool coat, sweater, leggings, boots, one layer of socks, gloves, and scarf all tied up with vines and settled onto my back like a pack. The green thermal I'm left with is rolled up to short sleeves and sits just above my baby bump. While I'd like nothing more than to dump all the extra clothes, the logical side of me knows I'll need them if I'm stuck here for another winter.

While it was near the end of winter when all the shit went down, it was still brutal. There were days I was stranded in a tree while a snowstorm raged around me. Other times, the wind was so bitingly cold that any exposed skin went numb within seconds. It was a relief when the weather became increasingly milder. It still is a bit chilly in the morning and at night, but I can deal with that easily.

I sigh in contentment as the sun soaks into my weakened body and lends a bit of energy. The weakness from growing a person is very inconvenient in these surroundings. I've had to give up on climbing into trees, which means finding a sheltered area and barely sleeping as I'm on high alert. I've never felt so vulnerable and it's very unsettling. In this short and sweet moment of relaxation and peace, I decide to try a new tactic.

 _Hey, um Chuck? I'm not sure if you'll even get this or if you're too busy with your cat blog, but I could use your help. I know you don't like interfering, but you've made exceptions for the Winchesters and Castiel before. I'm not even asking for a huge rescue or anything. All I really need is someone to find me, even a stranger. If you could send some random my way, I could get them to remove my warded bracelet and take it from there. I'm not asking for some huge miracle with a holy chorus and blinding angels, just a nudge. Please, Chuck. I can't do this without my family. I realize that now. Please help me make things right again._

"Hello, Cat." I hear, eyes opening wide at the unexpected voice.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

The brothers are thrown off by Rowena's behavior, more so when they notice there are two other chairs and two extra tea cups. "You were expecting us?" Sam questions as he takes everything in.

"Your hunter friend wasn't very subtle." Rowena replies wryly. "Come sit, have some tea and we can chat like civilized people." she beckons.

They're still wary, but they follow her directions and soon all three of them are sipping tea, though Dean pulls a face at his first taste and sets his cup down.

"So," Rowena starts after another few sips of her tea. "What can I do for you fine lads?"

"Can you find someone who is warded against tracking spells?" Sam says without any preamble. Two months of frantic searching has made him very impatient. Dean doesn't so much as raise an eyebrow at Sam's lack of manners as he has been stretched pretty thin with this whole thing plus fighting the Mark. He can tell the Mark is gaining more power over him as the days progress and he's worried that soon he won't even care about finding Cat. This possibility terrifies him, but he knows it is a very real possibility. When he was a demon he had no regard for his family.

"Who is this person that was unfortunate enough to be warded?" Rowena asks, knowing exactly who they mean but playing at innocence.

"That doesn't matter. Answer the question." Dean growls. He doesn't trust the witch, especially since she tried to kill him and played the King of Hell. While Crowley may be softer now, he's not an easy one to pull something on.

"Well it depends." she muses, completely unaffected by the obvious hostility Dean is directing her way. "If there is some sort of special item that the person always wears, I could track that. Is there something like that on your person?"

The brothers look at each other, hope in their eyes for the first time in what seems like forever. "The locket!" they exclaim together. Cat has never once taken it off unless it was a liability. There is every chance she was wearing it when she was taken and that it remains on her person.

"Yes, a locket will do. Do you have a picture of it? It will be easier to locate it with an image instead of a description." Rowena instructs. This was why she wanted them to come to her. She had no knowledge of her intended prey except for a name. She never would have known about the locket that with a simple incantation and the burning of a few ingredients could lead her straight to the being that holds the key to immense power in her blood.

Sam digs out his cell and shows the background, which is a picture of a young woman, Cat, sprawled out in a patch of bright flowers. Her face is crinkled in laughter and her hair is haloed around her face, but what Rowena focuses on is the rose gold locket shining on her chest. It appears to be flipped and on it is engraved an Enochian symbol. "This should work. If you two _strapping_ lads will fetch me the ingredients, I can perform the spell." Rowena announces.

She writes a short list and the brothers take off to hunt down everything necessary. " _Fools_ " Rowena gloats after they leave. "They have no idea that they're not saving their sister, but delivering her to me. As soon as we find her, I've got a spell that will take care of the Hardy boys long enough to get what I want."

Sam and Dean soon return with the ordered ingredients and Rowena quickly performs the incantation before burning the various herbs before dumping them on a world map. It burns away all but the United States. Switching to a map of the States, she performs the spell again, narrowing it down to a small town in Oregon.

"Whispering Brook, Oregon." she announces.

"She made it to a town?" Sam asks in confusion.

"That is where her locket resides. Whether the bonnie lass is there remains a mystery." Rowena explains. She hopes Cat is there, or else she will have to endure even more time around Moose and Squirrel as Fergus calls them.

"Well it's our best lead. You're coming with us, in case this is some kind of trap." Dean states before slapping iron cuffs on Rowena's wrists, preventing the use of magic.

"What is this? Are we not a team?" she exclaims indignantly.

"No!" the brothers say gruffly. Neither one trusts her and they planned accordingly. They drag her to the Impala and head to the small town in Oregon where they may finally reunite with the sister they never knew they wanted. It has felt weird, her absence like a gaping hole in their lives.

They arrive in Whispering Brook a few hours later and are instantly on alert. The entire town seems abandoned. There are cars, but the state of them makes it obvious they haven't been so much as _touched_ in months.

Dean parks along the side of the road and turns to the witch in the backseat. "Did your spell show _where_ in this town the locket is?"

Rowena stares at him evenly before replying. "It showed a spot in the trees outside of the town. That was the most accurate reading I could get with that map. If you removed these shackles, I could get a better read on the locket's exact location."

"Not gonna happen, Red. We don't trust you, especially since you're a witch. You're going to follow us and let us know if anything seems off." Dean orders. He and Sam pile out of the car before Sam takes over watching Rowena as he follows Dean toward the trees surrounding the ghost town.

They find a path and follow it to a strange garden. "There is magic here." Rowena remarks. They spread out, each taking a side to look for clues. It's Sam who finds the unnaturally blue flowers.

"Dean!" he calls as he catches something shining between the stalks. He reaches in and pulls out the slightly dull locket. Dean comes up beside him and notes the broken clasp.

"It must have come off when they grabbed her." he notes. "If this is where she was abducted, maybe her car is in town. It's obvious she's not here, but we can at least bring her car home. She loves that insult of a car."

With that, they head back to the town and begin scouring the area for Cat's car. No matter how much Dean hates the mix of modern and classic, he knows it means a lot to her, especially since it was a gift from Kevin.

"Hey, is that it?" Sam asks as he points to a red and white car parked in front of an abandoned diner. Dean follows his finger and sure enough, there's Daphne with a layer of dust covering her like all the other vehicles in this creepy town.

"Yeah, let's check and make sure it even has gas." he confirms. They walk up to the car and through the dusty windows; they see that it is empty save for a fleece blanket on the backseat. Sam jimmies the door open then pops the trunk while Dean starts hot-wiring her. He'll fix the damage when they get back to the Bunker, but right now, this is their only option.

Sam walks back to inspect the trunk, hoping she followed their advice and kept a container of gasoline in there. It could come in handy on hunts but also when gas was running low and there wasn't a station close by. Even if the car isn't out of gas, a bit extra won't hurt and since he is certain that Dean will make him drive it, he wants to be prepared. He doesn't find what he's looking for, but what he does find causes him to gasp.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

I stare in amazement at the man in front of me. "Chuck? You came?" I ask hoarsely.

"Of course I came, Cat. I couldn't ignore you, plus you brought up some good points. That's not the main reason I came, however. You have an important role to play in preventing certain events." Chuck replies mildly.

"Me? Why me?" I question in shock.

"You have knowledge that could avoid certain events, say the release of _Lucifer_ for example." he explains.

"Lucifer? Why would you want to keep him locked away if you know he'll help?"

"I can see further than you, child. I can see what that path will cause. It is in everyone's best interest to leave him in his cage."

"Okay, but what about everything else? You can't expect me to interfere with the removal of the Mark of Cain from Dean. I won't allow my brother to continue suffering in that way." I assert. I know that means Amara, but I refuse to let Dean fall to the power of the Mark.

"Freeing my sister is for the best. There is no guarantee that the events you remember and the events that will come to pass will be the same, but I owe it to her to try. I have seen her anger and hurt." he admits.

"Does this mean you will step up _before_ she eliminates whole towns?" I demand. I doubt he will change that much, but it doesn't hurt to try.

He sends me a level stare, answering my question. "Of course not." I sigh in resignation. "I suppose I'm going to have to keep this whole conversation a secret then?"

"Oh, you won't remember any of it. It will be easier that way. You already decided to start interfering before we talked, so that won't change anything." he comments.

"Okay. I have one last question then." He gestures for me to continue, so I do. "Is, umm, is Kevin in Heaven?"

He gives me a soft smile. "Yes, he is happily waiting for you in your shared Heaven."

"Wait. I thought I was doomed to Purgatory." I question, both relieved and confused.

"That was never a burden you were meant to bear. You were supposed to have a normal life. Your future at birth was to have a happy childhood, graduate college, and have a nice little family before dying happily of old age. Those witches ruined that for you. I'm giving you back at least a bit of normalcy." he tells me sincerely.

"Why do you care so much about me?" I ask dejectedly. Knowing all of the pain I endured wasn't what I was meant for is both relieving and depressing.

"That is discussion for a time when you will be able to remember. Right now, I believe there are three frantic brothers of yours looking for you." he says with finality. Before I can protest, he snaps his fingers and I know no more.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Dean." Sam says in a strangled voice. Dean hears the oddness in his brother's voice and quickly drops the wires he was working with and hurries to his side.

"What's wrong, Sammy?" he asks, eyes focused on his brother's stricken face. Getting no response, he turns to see what upset Sam so much. "Cat" he breathes out. The utterance of her name seems to snap Sam out of his trance and he rushes forward. He checks for a pulse, and finds it to be slow, but not dangerously so.

"She's alive!" he laughs in relief. "We found her and she's safe!"

Dean crowds up against his brother to check for himself. He can see the gentle rise and fall of her chest. "Told you we would find you, sweetheart." he whispers as he moves a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She doesn't wake up, but he can see the barest hint of a smile on her lips. His eyes then move down to her belly, which is exposed and protruding noticeably. "Looks like what Cas said was true. There is no denying she has a bun in the oven." he observes before carefully extracting her from the trunk where she was curled up. He cradles her against his chest, reveling in the fact that their family is whole again and will soon grow larger.

"Wow. She's bigger than I expected." Sam exclaims, peering down at her slumbering form in his brother's arms. "Looks like she's pulling a Sleeping Beauty act again."

"Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt this _touching_ family moment, but am I the only curious about _how_ the lass ended up in the trunk?" Rowena interjects, reminding them of her presence. With the iron shackles, she can't do a thing to them. Her plan to take Cat from under their noses was nixed the minute they were slapped on her wrists. She'll just have to bide her time.

"We're damn curious, but we have to wait until she wakes up." Sam states. He turns to his brother and talks low enough that Rowena can't hear. "What are we going to do? We can't let her anywhere near Cat or the Bunker."

"You take Rowena in Cat's car and ditch her somewhere. Make sure you shake any possibility of her following then meet us at the Bunker. I'll take Cat in the Impala and call Cas on the way. He'll want to know she's okay." Dean decides. He finishes hot-wiring the car before taking Cat back from Sam and heading to the Impala.

He lays her down in the backseat before climbing behind the wheel. As he pulls away the tune of Runaway by Bon Jovi, he thinks of how well it fits. She was a runaway for a while, but then her luck took a turn for the worst. Throughout the drive home, he catches himself glancing back at her in the mirror. She looks so peaceful in sleep. He can see the strain she's been under, however. There are dark smudges under her eyes, scratches litter her exposed arms, and he's sure the extra weight caused her to be weaker.

He sends up a general prayer of thanks for her safe return. After finding the locket, he had begun to give up hope. That was their last idea on finding her and he had felt despair sweep through him at the sight of it in his brother's hand. It's several hours before he remembers he promised to call Cas with the good news.

"Dean. Did you find her?" Cas greets.

"Yeah, buddy. We finally found her." he confirms.

"Is she- is she okay?" Cas asks shakily after a very audible sigh of relief.

"She's unharmed and safe. We're heading back to the Bunker now if you want to meet us there. I can't guarantee she'll be awake though. Sleeping Beauty here has been out cold since we found her in the trunk of her car in some Oregon ghost town." Dean reassures.

"I will head there immediately. Is she still.."

"Pregnant? Yeah. She's already pretty big for four months." Dean fills in.

"That is welcome news. Drive safely, Dean. You have precious cargo on board." Cas instructs.

"Dude, I wouldn't risk her or Baby. Give me some credit. I'll see you when we get back." Dean ends the call and checks on Cat, finding her to still be snoozing away. "Wake up soon, sweetheart. We miss you."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

When I come to, the first thing I notice is the softness of my mattress and the sheets pulled over me. I hear voices and listen in. "What did you do with that book anyway?" Dean's voice. He seems a bit cautious and suspicious.

"I told you. I put it somewhere safe. The Men of Letters went through a lot of trouble to protect it." Sam replies, a bit testily. I can hear them approaching my door and I struggle to get up. I'm still a bit weak, but I can still get to my feet and rush to the door. I rip it open and am temporarily blinded by the light in the hall, but I can still sense where they are. They stand frozen in shock as I tackle them in a hug.

"You're finally awake!" Dean exclaims as he hugs back tightly.

"We were so worried when you wouldn't wake up after a few days. It's nice to see you back on your feet again." Sam adds, his arms engulfing all of us in a group hug.

"Dean. What is…" Cas says as he turns the corner before cutting off abruptly at the sight of me.

"Get in here!" Dean demands. Cas needs no other motivation as he quickly comes over and wraps me in a hug.

"Cat Winchester, never do that again!" he commands.

"I'm so sorry! I never should have runaway." I admit, asking for forgiveness. We continue hugging for a while before I pose an important question. "How did y'all find me? Also, why was I asleep so long?"

"We were hoping you could answer that." Dean tells me. "We found you fast asleep in the trunk of your car. We were tracking your locket and found your car as well. It's in the garage now, shining like a new penny."

"I was in the trunk? Last thing I remember is sitting by a stream before waking up in my bed." I muse. I try to fill in some gaps, but there's nothing.

"It's okay. What matters is that you are safe and back home." Sam states. We break apart and the rumble of my stomach leads to a chuckle from the three of them before we move into the kitchen. Dean starts making his burgers while Sam grabs his laptop and starts typing away.

"Thank you for letting me know you were okay through your prayers." Cas says as we sit at the table with Sam.

"Of course. I knew how much y'all would worry. It was the least I could do." I reply easily.

"You should have had your first ob-gyn appointment weeks ago!" Sam suddenly shouts, startling everyone.

"Umm, what?" I ask, confusion written all over my face.

"It says here that you should schedule one as soon as you find out you're pregnant." he explains, showing me the online pregnancy article.

"Wasn't really an option for her, Sammy." Dean reminds him.

"I know, but we should make one soon. The sooner the better according to this. I'll look up good ob-gyns nearby." Sam proclaims before returning to typing and clicking away.

"Looks like uncle Sammy is gonna be the overbearing one." I say to the baby bump.

"Uncle Dean will be the cool one who educates them in classic rock and classic cars." Dean states from his station at the stove.

"What about you, Cas? What kind of uncle do you think you'll be?" I asks as I turn to face him.

He blushes and stutters, "I-I don't know. I know I will love them no matter what and will teach them what is right and what is wrong."

"Cas will be the boring uncle then." Dean teases.

"Considering the terrible influence you will be, I appreciate the help with teaching them." I shoot back.

"Here's someone, and they aren't too far away. I got you an appointment for a few days from now around noon." Sam tells me, oblivious to the conversation around him.

"Thanks, Sam." I reply with a smile. "I appreciate it." Soon the burgers are done and I dig in with gusto. I ignore their weird looks at my moans of pleasure. I haven't had real food in two months and even longer without Dean's delicious burger. When I finish, I proclaim, "I missed these! No food makes me as happy as these!"

Dean smirks. "We could tell, sweetheart. As always, I'm happy you enjoy them."

"You should start eat healthier, though. More fruits and vegetables and less sugar and fats." Sam frets. "We'll go shopping tomorrow. You can't drink too much caffeine either."

"Sa-am!" I complain. "That's like my entire diet you're banning! I can't live on rabbit food, it's gross!"

"Girl after my own heart." Dean smiles cheekily.

"Cat. You have to think of the baby. Your usual diet won't cut it now."

"Fine." I huff, mad he's already pulling the baby card. He can be a manipulative son of a bitch sometimes.

"Good, then it's settled. We'll have to get you some maternity clothes too. You can't walk around baring your midriff." he adds.

"I can loan you a shirt for your shopping trip. It should be big enough to fit over your fat belly." Dean offers with a wink.

"I am _not_ fat!" I defend. "I may be a bit bigger than what seems normal, but that doesn't make me fat!"

"You're so easy." Dean chuckles.

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that, twit." I threaten as I get up.

"Bring it, bowl full of jelly." he taunts, rising from the table.

"Guys…" Sam tries to intervene, but we're already off. Dean takes off, me right on his tail.

"That all you got, tubby?" he shouts over his shoulder as he barrels down the hall. I put on an extra burst of speed and pin him against the wall.

"You should know better, Deanna. I've always been faster than you." I tease as I hold him against the wall.

"Maybe." I can hear the smirk in his voice. "But I've always been stronger." He pushes me off, causing me to lose my balance. Before I can fall to the floor, he's catching me with an apologetic look in his eyes. "Guess your balance is thrown off, huh?"

"Dean! Cat! What were you two thinking!" Sam shouts angrily as he storms up to us. "Cat, you can't roughhouse like that anymore. And Dean, you know she's pregnant. What possessed the two of you to endanger the baby like that?"

"Sorry. We weren't thinking. It won't happen again." I reply remorsefully.

"It was just in fun. I wouldn't let her get hurt." Dean defends.

"Cat, I think you should go rest. It's not good to stress your body." Sam instructs.

"You know, before I knew I was pregnant I killed a wendigo that grabbed me in the woods. Baby survived that just fine. I'm not some delicate flower, I'm a hunter. Try to remember that." I state before heading to the bathroom to shower.

"A wendigo?!" I hear them say behind me before the door clicks shut.

 _ **A/N: In case you are confused, Cat wakes up right after Werther Project. As I was reading through to check consistency for certain things, I notice a few grammar errors. I would like to apologize for those. This story is being written and posted chapter by chapter and I often don't reread for a grammar check like WC. I struggled with when and how her rescue would happen, but I hope this is good. Reviews always appreciated!**_

 _ **PS: Sorry for the delayed update, I finally got on AO3 and have been enjoying the new stories since I've read most of the good ones on here. They helped me with some inspiration, which is why this update happened. If you read on AO3, feel free to drop some recs in my PM or even some on here or Wattpad.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: Lean On**

It's not until I'm undressing to hop into a much anticipated shower when I notice the damn bracelet is still on my wrist. Huffing in annoyance, I wonder why they didn't remove it. They should know it is binding my powers, so why is it still shining tauntingly on my arm? I decide to ask them after I'm done and proceed to use up all the hot water as I luxuriate in the feeling of the steaming water caressing my skin. When I get out, I can tell one of them was in here because some of my clothes are sitting on the counter while my dirty ones have disappeared.

Pulling on the oversized t-shirt and sweats, I walk to the library where I can hear the boys' deep voices. Rounding the corner, they all fall quiet and look up at me. "Hey, Cat. Did you leave any hot water for the rest of us?" Dean teases as I join them.

"Excuse me for enjoying finally feeling clean." I shoot back, smiling so he knows I'm not mad. "Although it was hard with this stupid band on my wrist. Why didn't y'all remove it?"

They all seem to get uncomfortable with that question and dread begins to churn in my stomach. "Yeah, about that.." Sam starts awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck in an obvious sign of his discomfort in delivering this news.

"I'm sorry, Cat. It must remain on until after you give birth. Removing it before then could have detrimental effects on you and your baby." Cas tells me solemnly, the only one meeting my eyes.

"Oh." is all I manage to say in reply. It's quiet and toneless, causing the brothers to look into my eyes finally.

"Are you okay, kitten?" Sam asks gently. I must be worrying them if Sam is using his pet name for me. That's usually reserved for when I'm hurt either physically or emotionally.

"Is it because of how long my powers have been bound? Will the sudden return of them hurt or something?" I finally ask, voice barely above a whisper. It really shouldn't affect me this much, but my powers have become a part of me and now I'm being denied that part of myself for months. I know I'll be fine, I'm not worried about that. I just. I just hoped I could be _me_ again.

"Afraid so, sweetheart. We hate having to deny you like this, but we can't risk you and the baby." Dean answers with a tinge of regret.

I bury my own feelings after that and put on a brave face. "I'll do whatever it takes to protect Kevin and I's child. It's the least I can do to honor him." I can tell they can see behind my façade, but they can hardly argue with my statement. "Now, who wants to catch me up on-" I start to say but feel an odd sensation in my belly. I put my hand on the swell and wait to see if it happens again.

"Cat?" Cas questions, coming over to me with concern written all over his face. I hold up a finger and wait before I finally feel it again. My eyes fill with wonder and tender affection as I realize what it was. This is the first time I've felt a kick, it's a weird experience.

"They kicked." I breathe out in awe. I look up and see the tenderness in all their gazes as they look at where my hand rests on the bump. "Come here" I invite, not missing the excitement on their faces as they draw close. I grab each of their hands and strategically place them to where each one can feel when there's another kick.

"They're gonna be a fighter with a kick like that." Dean laughs.

"Just like their mom." Sam adds.

"Ha. We'll both be kicking your asses in no time!" I agree teasingly.

"Hey Sam. Remember when Cat was convinced she'd never be able to beat us and was actually _nice_ to us?" Dean comments to his brother.

"Oh, yeah. What ever happened to her?" Sam shoots back.

"She was proven wrong by two _very_ annoying brothers." I toss back with a smirk.

"Hey! You're the one who _wanted_ to train." Dean says in mock hurt.

"Training? Yes. Bugle imitations at the break of dawn, endless teasing, and pranks? Yeah, not so much." I retort with a wry grin. I've missed our easy banter.

"You know you love me. No woman can resist the Winchester charm." he winks.

"I _tolerate_ you." I tease.

"If you weren't swollen like a balloon, princess…" he threatens with laughter in his eyes.

"Alright, enough you two." Sam interrupts with an expression like he's trying to hide his happiness to look disapproving.

"Sam, on the other hand…" I continue, ignoring what Sam said, "He was less annoying and more overbearing." He sputters in indignation so I continue to tease him. "Don't think I didn't notice, Sammy. You were constantly checking up on me and giving me all these rules and lectures. I appreciated the obvious show of affection, though, so I never really complained. Plus, you helped me get Dean back every time he pranked us."

"Well Dean certainly wasn't going to enforce any rules." Sam quips, causing Dean to shoot him a glare.

"Are you saying I'm not responsible?" he demands.

"Responsible? Sometimes. Mature? _Never_." I laugh.

"I hate you both." Dean huffs.

"Of course, Cas is the understanding and patient brother. He was the one I knew would listen to my problems or if I just needed to talk. Don't know what I would do without you, Feathers." I finish.

"It was my pleasure, Cat." Cas replies with a genuine smile.

"Hey. Can we have a movie night? It's been such a long time." I request, looking up at them all hopefully.

"That sounds great!" Dean exclaims. "We'll get the snacks; you go ahead and get comfortable in the TV room."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

The three men watch as the young woman that they consider their sister exits the room, a definite bounce in her step. "Well that went better than expected." Dean comments after she has disappeared from view.

"Yeah, but I guess that's just her. You and I both know she is hiding her feelings about everything." Sam replies.

"She will talk about it when she is ready." Castiel states. He knows from being her sounding board for years that when she acts like this, it means she wants to try to work things out for herself first. "I suggest we let her try to figure out how she feels, but still make it apparent she can talk if she needs to."

"Gee, Cas. When did you get so good at human interaction?" Dean ask in honest surprise.

"I've learned how to read her, for the most part. I won't pretend to know everything, but I know how it feels to have a part of yourself taken away. She needs our support right now." Cas responds sagely.

"I didn't even think of that. It's like when you became human, except she has been like this for far longer than she has had her powers. I can see that they could be a part of what she considers 'herself'. Now I feel even worse about having to put her through this." Sam sighs sadly at this revelation. He felt bad enough about the loss of her powers when he considered them to be more about her protection and security, but this? This is so much worse. It's like forcing a butterfly to return to being a caterpillar.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean exclaims, fists curled in anger. "This just gets better and better."

"Dean, you need to calm down. Feeding the Mark won't help anyone. We should probably get the snacks before she gets suspicious." Cas reprimands. With a mumble of consent from the brothers, they all head to the kitchen to get popcorn, beers for them, and a glass of OJ for Cat at Sam's insistence.

"What took you guys so long?" Cat grumbles from where she is snuggled up in the middle of the couch.

"Health Nut, here, kept trying to get you healthy snacks. It took a bit to reach a compromise on the popcorn and juice." Dean answers easily.

"Sorry I care about her health, Dean. You wanted to feed her candy and all kinds of sugary snacks." Sam retorts.

"You two are killing me!" Cat shouts dramatically. "Get your asses sat down and hand me some of that damn popcorn." They all chuckle and comply, knowing that this kind of mood swing will be common for her in the months to come. Sam and Dean sit on either side of her on the couch while Cas takes up a spot on the floor in front of her. They end up watching her favorite movie, which she is horrified to learn that Cas has never seen. "You've never watched How to Train Your Dragon?!"

"Apparently neither has Metatron. I can find no reference to it in my mind." Cas replies, causing her to gasp.

"Well then you are gonna get educated tonight." she exclaims.

When menu screen pops up, Cas tilts his head in confusion. "Is that the same dragon Kevin gave you?" He's watching the screen so he misses the minute flinch and flash of pain in her eyes at the mention of Kevin.

"Yeah" is all she feels safe saying without the pain showing in her voice. She tries not to let it show, but she still feels Kevin's loss like an open wound where her heart should be. Sam and Dean both look at her in worry. They know how much she must still be hurting. Trying to distract her, Dean wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her into him while Sam hits play.

He kisses the top of her head and whispers, "If you ever need to talk, we're here for you." She snuggles closer, but otherwise doesn't respond with more than a small smile. She stretches her curled legs until her blanketed feet touch Sam's thighs. He smiles and moves his hand to rest on her calf and squeezes it in reassurance.

Soon, she has arranged herself to where her head is in Dean's lap, her feet are in Sam's, and one hand is absently running through Cas' hair. She has been alone for so long that she needs the physical reassurance that her family is there now. Near the end, she begins to drift off and is fast asleep when the final scene plays out.

"Looks like Sleeping Beauty is out." Dean observes when the credits roll. He looks down at her fondly, "She looks so peaceful like this. It'd be a shame to wake her up."

"I can carry her to her bed." Cas offers to the brothers' surprise. "I am stronger than both of you." Cas explains matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, sure Cas." Sam replies, cutting off what was sure to be a smartass remark from Dean. Cas gets off the floor and carefully gathers Cat's sleep-limp form into his arms. Cradling her to his chest, he heads to her room. As he successfully maneuvers the covers over her, she sleepily grabs his wrist. He darts his focus to her face and sees that she is still mostly asleep.

"Stay" she mumbles groggily, pulling weakly on his wrist. He knows from talking to the brothers that she likes to cuddle when she is feeling vulnerable, so he complies. He removes his trench coat and suit jacket, folding them before placing them on the lone chair in the room. He then removes his tie, shoes, and socks before crawling into the bed beside her. He pulls her against his chest and hears her sigh in contentment.

"You're official now, buddy." Dean says from the door. He had peeked in to check on Cat and smiled at the sight of her cuddling with the angel. "I'm kinda jealous. She's a pretty great cuddler. Will you be okay in here all night? I know you don't really sleep."

"I will be fine, Dean. She needs the comfort right now." Cas replies softly, not wanting to wake the slumbering woman.

"Yeah. Well goodnight, Cas." Dean smiles.

"Goodnight, Dean." he returns.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

For the first time in forever, I wake up cuddled against a warm chest. There is an arm wrapped around my shoulders and another rubbing absently on the swell of my belly. I blink my eyes open groggily and am met by the sight of Cas gazing down at where his hand is making lazy circles. "Morning, Cas" I greet before yawning widely, stretching my aching body. Pregnancy is freakin delightful in that way.

"Good morning, Cat." he replies, shifting his gaze up to me.

"Did you stay here all night?"

"Yes. When I carried you in, you insisted I stay, so I did." he responds easily.

I blush in embarrassment at his statement. "Aww, Cas. You didn't have to do that. Did you even sleep?"

"I do not require sleep anymore, but I didn't mind watching over you." he smiles.

"We should probably get up and get breakfast. Sam's gonna wanna leave to go shopping soon." I suggest, even though the idea of enduring his lectures of eating properly make me want to snuggle down further and stay with Cas.

"He stuck his head in earlier, but I insisted you needed the rest."

"Always looking out for me, huh Cassie?" I reply with a soft smile. It has been a while since I had anyone looking out for me, it's nice.

"Of course, Cat." he states, like it should have been obvious. With a bit of a struggle, I get up and shoo Cas out of the room so that I can get dressed for the day. I open my drawers and discover that all the clothes in my car have been neatly folded and placed in their respective drawers. I smile at the considerate gesture and pull out a pair of black leggings and my red oversized flannel. It was for relaxing around the house, but now it is one of the few clothing items I own that will actually fit.

I notice that all my other belongings are carefully put away as well. Seeing the pictures of my family on the dresser is bittersweet. They serve as a reminder of what I lost, but also showcase the happiest times of my life. I reach out and pick up Kevin's favorite picture of us together. I never really told him how much his efforts right after Purgatory were appreciated. Without him, I would've been miserable.

Between the pictures is my simple little wooden jewelry box. I open it and see my lost locket polished and nestled among my small collection of earrings and a few other necklaces. I pull it out and clasp it back where it belongs around my neck. A flash of silver draws my attention and I look down to see my engagement band. Tears well up in my eyes as my shaking fingers close around the simple silver band and I slip it on.

After Kevin died, I couldn't stand to look at it so I had put it in my jewelry box. It still hurts, but enough time has passed that I can remember the good times. He had shown how well he knew me by making the proposal in a more private setting. We were just laying in bed, reading, when he casually set his book to the side and reached into his nightstand drawer to pull out the ring box. I was so absorb in my book that I didn't even notice until he cleared his throat.

It wasn't but like a week later that another great memory was made, one that developed into the little life currently growing in me. We were both so nervous given my past, but he helped me get through it. Shaking off the memories, I follow the smell of pancakes to the kitchen where Dean is plating the last of the cakes. "Impeccable timing as always, princess." he teases as I swipe a plate and head over to the table where Sam and Cas are engaged in some conservation.

"Sam, I'm quite certain. I told you, that band prevents it." Cas replies in a way that I can tell whatever they are discussing has been brought up repeatedly.

"Can't you try one more time?" Sam pleads.

"There is no point. As long as she is warded, I cannot use any of my powers on her. I too wish I could check on the baby, but it isn't possible." Cas states evenly.

"You two talking about me behind my back?" I grumble playfully. From what I heard, Sam wants Cas to check on my baby but the damn warded band is interfering with his angelic senses. Of course, I automatically pick up on the more worrying undertone. "Wait. If you can't use your powers on me, then does that mean you can't heal me?"

"Unfortunately, yes. You must promise to be very careful. Without your powers you are essentially human and therefore more vulnerable to injury and disease." Cas responds gravely.

"Disease? Are you saying I can get sick again? I guess I was like that since the pregnancy anyway. Morning sickness and nausea were a real problem a few months back. Got so weak I passed out. Thought it was odd, but chalked it up to emotional stress." I recall.

"You passed out? When was this?" Dean questions, bringing over the rest of the food. My food lies neglected in front of me.

"The day before I gave y'all my case. Jackie was with me and stayed with me until I regained consciousness a few hours later. I was the reason she was out so late and that was also why I wasn't hunting that night like I had planned." I admit. The memory of my failure still stings. Jackie was such a kind soul and didn't deserve to die, especially not like that.

"Well I'm glad she kept you safe. Are there any other events we need to know about? Anything else like the wendigo?" Sam asks gently.

"Well…" I stall, not sure if I should mention the demon or not.

"Cat" Dean says warningly.

"Ok, fine. I killed a demon during the battle that led to my escape, the bastard that umm…well you know." I reveal.

"I'm proud of you, Cat. That couldn't have been easy for you considering your history." Cas tells me with a mix of pride and sympathy on his face.

"I'm just glad I don't have to worry about them anymore. Seeing the orange flashes lifted some of the weight off my shoulders. I never realized I was worried about that until that moment."

"Now about that wendigo…" Dean brings up. We spend the rest of breakfast catching each other up on the events of our lives. After the dishes are cleared, Sam and I head to the garage.

"He wasn't kidding, she really does shine!" I exclaim, catching sight of Daphne who is gleaming like she's brand new.

"Yeah, she was covered in dust so Dean and I decided to clean her as a surprise for you. Cas tried to help, but we relegated him to moving your stuff out of your car and into your room."

"Well I appreciate it. I'm glad y'all found her, especially since I mysteriously ended up in the trunk." We get in, Sam driving since he knows where we're going. We go outside of Lebanon to a different Walmart. Apparently he's feeling extra protective today.

"We need to get healthy food, new clothes, and some prenatal vitamins. We should probably look at stuff for the nursery too." Sam mumbles to himself.

"Whoa! Isn't it a bit early for nursery shopping? We still have like five months!" I exclaim in alarm. Truth be told, I hadn't even thought about all the stuff I'll need for the baby.

Sam shoots me a disapproving look as we enter the store. "You're going to be a mom soon, Cat. I would've expected you to be excited to look at stuff for your child." He must have noticed the overwhelmed look on my face because his expression softens. "You still haven't adjusted, have you? I suppose being on your own in a forest probably didn't help, huh? We can wait until after the appointment to look at that stuff if you'd like."

"Thanks, Sam. I guess I never thought about everything needed to raise a kid and it just slapped me in the face. Maybe I'll do some online shopping when we get back." I reply gratefully. He seems content with my answer and grabs a cart before heading to the pharmacy section.

When we leave the store a few hours later, the car is full of food that Sam approved as well as some I used puppy eyes to get. There are also a few new outfits for me. Sam actually helped me pick them out. He really knows my style and it was a pleasant surprise. Dean comes out to help us with the bags, telling us Cas left to track a lead.

The next day, Cas calls. After a hard won battle with the brothers, we're all three loaded in the Impala and ready to go. A few hours later we pull up to the hospital where Cas is waiting. As we get out, his smile slips and he throws a concerned look my way. "Save it, buddy. We tried to talk her out of coming but she wasn't having it. Apparently she 'is pregnant, not a damn invalid and can go where ever she damn well pleases'." Dean tells him, quoting our argument.

"Well, thank you for coming." Cas replies.

"Yeah, of course." Sam responds

"Cas, look, we're always glad to help, but Claire and I aren't exactly on the best of terms. I mean, should I even be here?" Dean asks. I had almost forgotten about all of that.

"I need help from both of you." Cas insists. "You were both troubled teens. You speak her language. Cat, while being closer in age wasn't really troubled in the same way."

Sam smirks and says, "All right. How is she?"

Cas stammers, "Well, I-I haven't gone in yet. I was waiting for backup."

"B-backup?" Dean comments in disbelief.

"Mm. Huh." I murmur.

"Three men and a lady. Let's do this." Dean jokes then all of us enter the hospital. Claire looks less than thrilled when she sees us.

"What are you doing here? And why the hell did you bring him?" she asks disdainfully.

Dean sarcastically replies, "Awesome." and hangs back while Sam and Cas move further into the room. I elect to stay back with Dean since she doesn't know me.

"Who's she?" Claire asks, finally noticing me.

"I'm their sister, Cat. Sorry we haven't met yet, I was at my home last time." I introduce myself. She nods, but still regards me warily.

"Um, the ... the police found my number in your emergency contact list." Cas speaks up, answering her earlier question of why we're here. Sam looks around the room uncomfortably as Dean leans on a cabinet and I take up the chair on the other side of the room.

"Yeah, well... That was a mistake. You can go now." Claire responds.

Cas looks over at dean before turning back and adopting an almost dad-like voice. "Claire... Why were you at a bar?"

"I wasn't." Claire denies.

Sam approaches the bed and says, "Claire, what were you doing in an alley outside of a bar?"

"Wrong place, wrong time. Story of my life." she says, a hint of self depreciation in her voice.

"Look, we're not leaving until you tell us what the hell really happened. So if you want us gone...Talk." Sam insists. She finally gives in and tells us about her search for her mom and the man she was trying to find. When she finishes, the guys head out into the hall while I stay behind with Claire. As soon as they leave she gets up and starts getting dressed.

"Claire. I know running seems like the best option, but they just want to help." I tell her as she gets ready to leave.

"I don't need their help. I was doing just fine before they showed up." she snaps.

"Look, if you insist on going, then at least let me come with you to the motel." I sigh, rising from my seat.

"I don't need a babysitter!" she exclaims in anger.

"You have a concussion. I just don't want anything to happen to you. Cas would never forgive me. He's helped me with so much. It's only fair I return the favor." I argue, using a tone that shows I will do it regardless. She grumbles, but lets me come along.

"I never even knew they had a sister." she comments as we exit the building.

"Yeah, they kinda adopted me. Without them I would've died years ago." I answer with a smile. She seems interested in my story so I give her the cliff notes version while we make our way back to her motel room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Crossfire**

I notice Sam immediately when we walk in and he sends a relieved glance my way before letting Claire know he's there. She shoots me a glare. "You told them where we were going!" she accuses.

"No, Claire, she didn't. You both just disappeared, which we'll talk about later." he directs at me. I look at the floor, knowing I probably really worried them.

"Then how did you..." she asks, but Sam holds up the motel's postcard.

"Also, you checked in under the name 'Claire Novak.' A little pro-tip? Use an alias." he says. Claire moves to grab her stuff while Sam tries to convince her to accept their help. I walk over to a wall covered in what must be her research on her mom. It's quite impressive and even Sam says so.

"Hey, Sam. Why don't you let Dean and Cas know we're okay. I can coach Claire on hacking. Between you, Kevin, and Charlie, I was taught by the best." I finally speak up when he mentions helping her.

"Sure, Cat." Sam agrees before stepping out of the room to get his laptop and make a call.

"Ya know, Claire, it wouldn't be such a bad thing to at least keep in touch with Cas. He feels responsible for everything that's happened to you and is just trying to make up for it. I know from experience that he's a great guy and he cares a lot about you. Just…just give him a chance." I urge as I take the seat Sam vacated.

"He's not my dad and he's not responsible for me." she snaps.

"He's not _trying_ to be your dad. He's trying to do right by your dad and keep his promise of protection. You were pretty young, but don't you remember when Cas was going to use you instead but Jimmy sacrificed his freedom so you wouldn't have to endure that? He made a promise then to protect you and your mom. After years of forgetting, he's finally trying to keep that. I know it's hard to see him since he looks like your dad, lord knows I know how much it hurts, but having him care about you is an amazing feeling and one you shouldn't throw away lightly."

"How could you possibly know how it feels? You said your parents are alive in your dimension." she almost shouts, face stormy.

"They are, and they're alive here too. The problem is, I can never talk to them or even let them see me. I used to visit home and just watch them invisibly. It hurt and I became so jealous of this dimension's me that I finally had to stop. Knowing they're out there living happily and I can never so much as say 'hi' or 'I love you'? Yeah, I think I understand. You may think your mom abandoned you, but I know she didn't. Don't become so jaded that you push away the few people who actually give a crap about you. Trust me, you'll regret it in the end."

While I was saying this, Sam had returned with the laptop. He was quiet so I didn't notice him until he said, "Cat's right, Claire. Just give him a chance." He then sets the laptop in front of me. "The four of us are going to have a talk later about you going solo in your condition." he informs me. "You had us all worried."

"Sorry, Sam. I just didn't want anything to happen to Claire."

"I could've taken care of myself. I didn't need you chaperoning me." Claire grumbles.

"Oh, I know." I tell her. "Honestly I just needed some time talking to a girl. Do you know how exhausting it is to always be surrounded by men? The testosterone alone…" I joke, causing her to laugh. I turn to the computer and begin showing her what to do as Sam looks on. I catch a thoughtful look on his face out of the corner of my eye and wonder what he's thinking.

After I've finished, there's a knock at the door and Claire opens it to reveal Cas and Dean. "Are you all right?" Cas asks as soon as she opens the door.

She looks frustrated and snaps, "Yeah, I will be when nobody ever asks me that again." She walks away and Cas and Dean enter the room, both shooting some intimidating looks my way. This talk Sam promised is _not_ going to be fun.

"You guys find Ronnie?" Sam asks them.

"Yeah. Yeah, he gave up a name ...Peter Holloway. Said he was a faith healer." Dean reports.

While they discuss the case, I watch as Cas approaches Claire with a birthday present. "Claire, um... Happy Birthday." he says as he hands her the bag.

She looks over at me before turning back to him and replying, "Um..." and pulling out a stuffed Grumpy Cat.

"I got it at the Hot Topical." Cas explains, looking proud of his accomplishment. Sam and Dean raise their eyebrows at each other, obviously surprised by this gesture. I just look on and hope that she won't hurt him. If I'm lucky, she'll take my advice and give him a chance.

"Right. Um...Thanks, I guess." she replies. While it's not any different from what I knew would happen, I can see a slightly fond look on her face as she puts it away.

About that time Sam sees a report that Ronnie is dead. After Dean assures Claire it wasn't him, he says he's going to suit up and check it out. Cas and Claire immediately decide to tag along so he turns to Sam and I with a put upon look. "You wanna get in on this?"

"No, I-I should probably stay here and research Holloway." Sam stammers.

"I doubt they would believe the Bureau would let a pregnant woman out in the field. I'll stay with Sam and research. Just let me get my laptop before you leave." I reply, getting up and following him and Claire outside, Cas following shortly after.

When I return, I set up by Sam and start researching. I remember it's some type of angel, but the name escapes me. It's been years since I watched the show and details have grown fuzzy on the later seasons. "Hey, Cat?" Sam says, getting my attention. "This case was an episode, wasn't it."

"Yeah, Sam. That's why I knew I would be safe going with Claire. I wish I could remember it better, but it's been years and so much has happened that all I know is you four survive and the monster is some sort of angel feeding on souls." I admit, angry with myself.

"An angel feeding on souls?" he questions.

"I've been researching it, but nothing is jumping out. Any luck on the Peter Holloway front?" I deflect.

Just then, Dean, Cas, and Claire return. Sam turns to them and says, "Hey. I, uh, got a lead on Peter Holloway."

Dean, leaning on the back of a chair at the table, replies, "Oh, good, 'cause he's probably about to split town. Ronnie made a few phone calls before he got shish kebabed."

"You think to give Holloway a heads up?" I ask.

"If he did, that's probably what got him killed. So...We gotta track him down before he bails." Dean muses.

"Great. Well, according to county records, Holloway owns a farmhouse about 30 or 40 miles from here, so I, uh, cross-referenced it with Amelia's credit card receipts." Sam reports, reading off the notebook he had been writing in. Then he gets up from his chair and moves towards the wall with Claire's research on it. He points to a spot on a map. "The house is about right there, and she's been hitting up Biggersons and Gas n' Sips all around the area."

"Probably staking the place out." Dean realizes.

"Exactly." Sam agrees.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go." Claire states.

"Claire, you are not going out there." Cas tells her.

"She's my mother." she argues.

"That house could be empty and it could be a trap. It's too dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you." Cas explains, hoping she'll understand.

"Anything else you mean." she replies angrily

"Claire, you're not going." Dean states.

"You're not either, Dean." Cas declares, causing Dean to look at him in surprise.

"What?" he questions.

"Back at the bar with Ronnie?" Cas reminds him.

"Oh, come on, Cas. He wasn't gonna talk. I just... Helped him talk." Dean complains. Sam gets up and walks toward his brother.

"Dean, Cas is right. We need to keep the Mark in check. And we don't know what's out there. You know, maybe you should... Maybe you should stay here."

"So you wanna bench me again?" Dean grumbles angrily. Sam sighs in response. Dean looks at Castiel and pauses for several seconds. "All right. Fine. I'll stay and babysit." He then turns towards Sam. "But if anything happens, anything at all..."

Cas wearily replies, "Yeah, we'll call you."

I get up to follow them and their eyes all widen in surprise. "Where do you think you're going?" Sam asks as I come to stand by him.

"With you and Cas, obviously. Don't even try to argue, you won't win." I state.

"Cat, you need to stay here where it's safe." Cas pleads.

"Cas, I can still fight and protect myself. Let me hunt while I still can. We all know that soon I won't be able to do much of anything. Let me have this bit of normalness, please."

"Now you know why we couldn't keep her from coming. Girl has us all wrapped around her finger." Dean jokes.

"Okay, fine. No going off on your own, though." Cas finally agrees. He then turns to Dean. "No fighting while we're gone."

Dean scoffs. "Yeah, tell her that."

"Both of you." Cas sternly replies. We all head out to Holloway's house, leaving Dean and Claire behind. When we get there, we split up. Sam and I head to the house while Cas goes to check out the barn. As we're steadily searching the house, Sam gets a call from Dean. Before he can answer it, someone knocks him unconscious. Before I can react, there's a starburst of pain on the back of my head and I crumple, vision fading to black.

"Cat? Cat are you okay?" I hear Sam say as I come to. I moan in response, a steady pounding pain causing me to remember we were attacked. I open my eyes and see that we're cuffed in chairs facing each other.

"Ugh, forgot about that part." I groan as I begin searching the back of the chair for a loose nail as Sam does the same. Holloway walks into the room, catching Sam's attention.

"You must be Holloway." Sam comments. Holloway walks across the kitchen over to Sam.

"For the last 50 years or so, yes. Before that, I was a Jenkins. And before that, a Miller. My real name is Tamiel. I'm a Grigori. A watcher angel." Tamiel reveals.

"Since when do angels feed on humans?" I ask, distracting him so that Sam can attempt to get loose. I couldn't find anything to help me, so I can only hope he has better luck.

"Since the dawn of man." he replies. "Your souls... Are little slices of heaven that are, if properly kept, delicious meals that can last for years, decades even."

"You're not an angel. You're a monster." Sam spits out. Tamiel laughs and reaches out to lightly punch Sam on the shoulder.

"Ahh. I prefer to think of myself as a gourmand. I make heaven a place on earth. Keeps me alive and hidden from the rest of the failures that call themselves angels." he responds.

"Oh, they are failures? Yeah, 'cause you're living so large in your own life." I sneer. I can see that Sam is picking the lock on his cuffs so I need to get the attention back on me.

He turns around quickly and draws his sword on me so that it is pointing directly at my face. Sam's eyes widen in alarm and he struggles even more to get free. "There were hundreds of us, but now..." Tamiel tells us, and then raises the sword up to show an inscription on the blade. "Each of our names inscribed on our swords. A brotherhood of perfectly crafted, engineered beings sent to protect you pathetic, bottom-feeding disasters."

To our surprise, he walks away, leaving us without another thought. Sam is soon free and flips his chair over in his haste to get to me. "Could you not taunt a deranged angel with a sword? You almost gave me a heart attack!" he reprimands as he soon has the cuffs open and I massage my wrists to relieve the slight pain.

"I needed his attention on me so you could escape." I tell him as we exit the kitchen and try to hunt down the rogue angel. The house is empty, however. We hear a noise from the kitchen and Sam picks up some sort of club and pushes me behind him as he approaches it. Luckily, it's just Dean and Cas. Wanting to check on Claire, I sneak out and quickly make my way to the barn. I see her with her mom and rush over to help support her.

"Cat? Thanks." Claire says as we start maneuvering Amelia Novak out of the room she was kept in and into the main area of the barn.

"You know there's no fixing her, right?" Tamiel says as he appears in the doorway of the barn. Claire drops Amelia, causing me to stumble and lose my grip, and aims her gun at Tamiel. She shoots him four times in the chest. On the fifth shot the gun clicks, as if it's empty. Claire shoots several more times with the same result. Tamiel shakes his head and walks towards Claire, Angel sword in hand.

"You really think that's gonna hurt an angel of the Lord?" he asks disdainfully. He moves to strike Claire and Amelia jumps in between them before I can react.

"No! Aah!" she shouts as Tamiel stabs her straight through the chest and then pulls out the sword. Amelia falls to the ground and Claire kneels behind her, holding her up. He looks on, smirking.

Crying, Claire shouts, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" I quickly move in front of them to protect them from the rogue angel. I know it's too late for Amelia, but I can keep Claire safe at least.

Tamiel looks on with disdain and raises his sword at me. I'm praying that the guys will get here soon. I may be willing to die to protect Claire, but that doesn't mean I'm not hoping with everything that I have it won't come to that.

"No!" I hear Cas shout. He runs in and knocks Tamiel to the ground. He pulls out his angel blade and they struggle on the ground. Tamiel knocks Cas to the side and stands up as Sam runs in and grabs him from behind, locking his arms behind him. Dean runs and punches Tamiel as Sam holds him.

The fight continues for several seconds with Castiel's angel blade changing hands several times. Eventually Dean and Cas are down and Sam is thrown against a wall. Tamiel then does something unexpected and wraps his hand in my long hair, yanking me up and pressing me up to his chest with his sword cutting shallowly into my neck.

The boys' eyes all widen in horror as I am held at his mercy. "You're weak." Tamiel directs at Cas. "Your love for humanity has left you powerless. I can see in your eyes how much you care for this insignificant creature. It seems a waste to dispose of such a delicious meal, but you've forced my hand."

With those words, my heart rate spikes and I can feel the blade pressing in deeper as Sam and Dean scramble to their feet with frantic terror on their faces. Cas seems frozen as Tamiel changes his chosen execution style and rears his sword bearing arm back. I can tell he's going to stab me, most likely where my baby is exposed and vulnerable under the thin cotton of my shirt. I close my eyes in preparation for the pain I know is coming.

Before he can inflict the blow, Claire stabs him with the abandoned angel blade. A white light emanates from him before he drops to the ground, dead. She throws the blade to the ground and runs over to her mom. I drop to my knees as my legs give out, causing a sharp pain to shoot up my back. Ignoring it, I quickly move over to Claire, hoping to offer some form of comfort to the grieving girl.

"Mom? Mommy, please stay with me, okay? Mom? Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Mom, I'm sorry." she cries as she holds Amelia's unresponsive body.

"I'm sorry, Claire. She's with Jimmy in heaven now. I know this for a fact." I try to console her.

"I just found her and now she's gone." Claire sobs.

"I know, but maybe it won't be forever. All four of us have died and come back, even seen those that were dead again. In this line of work, anything is possible." I tell her.

"It's just not fair." she sniffs.

"Hey, look at me. It may seem hard, but just remember, you at least got to see her and she died knowing you weren't mad. I'd give anything for that chance. My fiancé died right after a big fight. We never got the chance to make up, but you did. She went with the knowledge you loved her and that's something to be grateful for." I tell her, my eyes tearing up a bit as I remember that fateful day.

"I guess you're right." she sighs sadly. "What am I going to do now?"

"We know someone who will be happy to take you in." I assure her. We get up and see the Tamiel's body has already been removed, his sword laying abandoned on the ground. Claire walks over and picks it up, quickly concealing it. Cas comes back in and gathers up Amelia's body, carrying her outside where a pyre is being made by Sam and Dean. After the funeral, we return to the motel where Claire gathers her stuff and Dean calls her a cab. They all agreed that Jody would be the best choice for her.

After the cab pulls away, I'm dragged into the motel room and promptly forced to sit in a chair while three very upset men stare down at me. "I'm gonna guess this is the promised 'Talk'." I say lightly, if a bit awkwardly as they continue to glare at me.

"What on God's Green Earth possessed you to run off unarmed?" Dean scowls. He has a point. All my weapons were in the car to avoid any issues with hospital security.

"I was careful, and I wasn't alone." I respond defensively.

"A concussed teenage girl is hardly a suitable protector. Both of you could have been attacked or any number of things could have happened. Why didn't you keep her there, or at least inform us of what was going on?" Cas reprimands. I can tell he is still a bit shaken from what happened in the barn.

"While we're on that subject, why didn't you answer your phone? Do you know how scared we were when we couldn't find you two and you weren't picking up? We thought something terrible happened to you! Dean and Cas went to that bar to make sure you weren't laying in the alley like Claire had been. You need to think before you act. Your impulsiveness is going to get you in trouble one day." Sam lectures.

"I'm sorry. I just saw a chance to _do_ something and I took it. You're right, I didn't think about how y'all would react. I was a selfish jerk and I'm sorry I freaked y'all out with my behavior. While I'm sure you'd like to continue this conversation, I'm pregnant, sore, and haven't slept in over 24 hours. Unless you want to deal with a cranky hormonal woman, I suggest letting me get some damn sleep." I haven't let on, but ever since the adrenaline ran out, I've been on the verge of passing out in exhaustion.

"Of course, sweetheart. We'll get another room and let you get some sleep. Do you want us to bring in your bag?" Dean turns to caring big brother instantly at the distress in my voice.

"Yeah, I need to change out of these bloody clothes." I reply gratefully. There's blood on my back, most likely from Amelia, and blood on the front from the neck wound that Sam cleaned and bandaged while we waited for Claire's cab.

I can see all their eyes drop to the bloodstain on the front of my shirt. Cas visibly winces and says, "We owe Claire for that being the worst that happened to you tonight. If it wasn't for her…" I'd be dead. We're all very aware of the fact that I came very close to being snuffed. I gave Claire my number and told her that if she ever needed anything, just call. Of course, I also let her know that I'd be willing to listen if she ever just wanted to talk.

When Dean comes back with my bag, I walk over and take it from him with a tired smile that quickly turns to confusion as his eyes widen at something behind me. He suddenly turns me around and lifts up my shirt, causing me to wince in pain as the persistent pain in my back flares up sharply. Dean curses loudly, causing Sam and Cas to rush over.

"Shit! Cat, why didn't you tell us you were injured?" Sam gasps.

"What are you talking abou- ahhhh!" I'm cut off by a pained shout as the pain flares white hot, stealing my breath.

"She's gonna need stitches. I can't tell how deep, but the fact it's still bleeding isn't a good sign." I hear Dean mumble.

"Stitches? Wha-what's he talking about?" I inquire of Cas, who has moved from behind me and into my line of vision. Judging by the look on his face, something's wrong.

"It appears you were stabbed, most likely an accident when Claire killed Tamiel." he says, voice gravely with concern.

"I was stabbed? I thought it was just back pain from the pregnancy…" I reply in shock. I can now see what had caused dean's alarm. There's fresh blood on the back of the seat I just vacated.

"'Fraid so, princess. I need to stitch this up so you don't lose any more blood. It's going to hurt like a bitch, I'm sorry." Dean apologizes. He then has Sam lay a towel on the bed before making me lay on my side on top of it. "I wish we could offer something to dull the pain." Dean laments after pouring alcohol on the wound to disinfect it, causing a hiss of pain to escape my lips.

"It's okay, just be quick." I reply with my eyes squeezed shut, preparing for the burn of the needle piercing my flesh. I feel a hand grasp mine and look into sympathetic hazel eyes. I grip Sam's hand tightly and clench my jaw as I feel the first prick of the needle as Dean methodically begins to sew me up. Sadly, my pain tolerance has grown so high from past experiences that I don't pass out as the pain becomes excruciating and someone slips something in my mouth to keep me from hurting myself.

Tears stream down my face as I feel Dean going deep into the tissue and muscle and slowly make his way to the surface. It must have been really deep to warrant this many stitches. I'm barely conscious, having tried to retreat into my mind to escape the pain, when someone removes the object in my mouth and wipes the tears from my face. "It's over, sweetheart. I'm so sorry." I hear Dean's choked up voice say, but I don't react.

Next thing I know, I'm waking up in the bed. Someone changed my shirt and tucked me in after I finally passed out. Blinking open heavy eyelids, I see that all three men stayed in the room. "What time is it?" I ask groggily. I instantly have three sets of intense gazes focused on me.

"You're awake! How do you feel?" Cas greets.

"Like crap. Thanks for patching me up though, De." I answer, turning my gaze to the man whose face relaxes at my words. He must have been worried I'd resent him for the pain I was in or something.

"Feel up to heading back home? Your appointment is tomorrow." Sam reminds me.

"Ugh. Yeah, I think I'll be okay if I lay down on the backseat for the drive." I answer as I sit up with a wince as the stitches pull with a slight burn.

The brothers pack everything up as Cas helps me to stumble over to the Impala. After he lowers me into the back, I say, "Thanks for the help, Feathers. Are you coming back too or do you have a lead to chase?"

"I'll come back and join you at your appointment. The lead can wait a few days." he replies with a tender smile. I return the smile and wave as Dean pulls out, leaving Cas to drive his own car.

"Try to get some rest, Cat. You were only out for about two hours and I know you must be exhausted." Dean instructs, turning the music down to a low hum.

"M'kay" I murmur sleepily, eyes already slipping shut as I give in to the pull of the blackness coming to engulf me.

 _ **A/N: Sometimes chapters write themselves. I never even considered including Claire until I realized the timeline, and I can't say I'm not happy with the result. Maybe I'll pull her into the story again, I think she and Cat could get along pretty well. Next chapter may be delayed with all the exams and assignments I have the next two weeks. I sincerely regret taking the maximum hours allowed on my final semester. Until next time! As always, reviews appreciated or even any questions you may have or mistakes you've noticed. This story isn't nearly as polished as its predecessor, apologies.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Cracked**

I walk out of the appointment in a daze. My mind basically shut down after the doctor's proclamation. Thank goodness all three of my brothers were there to listen to whatever else was said. I vaguely remember hearing a mixture of voices before someone gently led me out. My brain comes back online as we're heading back home.

"Twins." I breathe out finally. That's what had me going into a sort of shocked state. The doctor turned on the sonogram and pointed out the image of not one, but two small beings. The guys seem startled by my voice.

"Bit of a shock, huh sweetheart?" Dean says gently, looking at me through the rearview mirror. I'm sitting behind him while Cas is on the other side, behind Sam.

"I'm having twins." I respond monotone, still not able to wrap my head around it. "Twins!" I shout hysterically. That's about the time that the panic rises up. I try to control it, but the attack makes it hard to breathe.

"Dean! Pull over!" Cas shouts "Cat? Cat, breathe!" he says to me. I try as I feel Dean pull the car over on the opposite shoulder. Soon he has my door pulled open and careful pulls me out. The burst of fresh air helps a bit.

"Breathe with me, okay?" Dean says, crouching in front of me. He grabs my left hand and places it on his chest before taking slow exaggerated breaths. I try to mimic him as I feel someone sit on my left and rub my back while someone else sits on the other side and grips my hand, grounding me.

When I finally calm down, I mumble, "Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for, kiddo. It's all a bit much." Dean replies sympathetically.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sam says from my left, still rubbing small circles on my back.

"It's just…twins. One baby was scary enough, but two? How can I raise two kids by myself?" I answer, feeling completely lost and overwhelmed.

"Cat, look at me." Dean commands. I look up from my lap and look into his grassy eyes. "You won't be doing this alone. We'll be with you every step of the way. You're our sister after all."

"Thanks, Dean." I reply shakily. "I appreciate y'all's support. It's just-"

"You miss Kevin." Cas finishes in a voice brimming with understanding.

"He should be here. These are his children too, and he'll never get to see them blink their eyes open or hear them giggle. He really wanted a family. I never thought I'd be able to provide that for him, and now? I really freakin miss him! He should never have left me alone like this! I'm gonna screw this up, like I always do. I've always been a screw up, always getting hurt, being the _victim_ , getting the people I care about killed. I _can't_ be a mom! This is some kind of cruel joke. 'Let's make the most damaged person in the world a mom. That'll be a laugh.'" I rant. This is the first time I've had a full on meltdown and voiced how I feel about this. I refuse to look at any of their faces, not wanting to see the pity in their eyes.

"Cat-" Sam starts.

"Save it." I snap, cutting him off. I don't want to talk or listen, I just want to curl up on my bed and cry. "Can we just go home?" I plead, voice tired.

I can practically feel the silent conversation going on over my head before Sam lets out a frustrated sigh and Dean says, "Sure, sweetheart." Cas helps me back into my seat before we continue on towards the Bunker. As soon as the engine shuts off in the garage, I exit the Impala and walk quickly to my room. As soon as I enter, I lock the door for some privacy and grab my stuffed dragon before collapsing on my bed.

Sobs rack my body as I finally let out all the emotions I've been reigning in for months. First, I had to be strong to survive, and then I was being strong for my family. I was trying to hide it, but cat's out of the bag now.

After what feels like several hours, there's a knock on the door. "Cat? Can I come in?" Cas asks through the door. Remembering how much he has helped me in the past, I drag myself off the bed and stumble over to unlock the door. I pull it open and see a concerned Cas standing in the hall.

"Come on." I murmur, turning and shuffling back to the bed. My sob fest has left me drained. He follows behind me and shuts the door before sitting on the bed beside me.

"Do you want to talk about what happened earlier, or anything else?" he asks, not pressuring me. I've always appreciated his approach. He waits for me to be ready instead of forcing me to talk.

I, of course, spill my guts. I tell him all my grief, fears, insecurities, and basically every negative thought that has been floating in my head. He sits there and listens without ever interrupting, his attention never wavering. By the time I finish airing everything out, I'm exhausted. I break out into a huge yawn at the end and Cas urges me to get some rest. Seeing nothing wrong with that suggestion, I promptly snuggle under the covers and fall asleep to the gentle rhythm of Cas stroking my hair soothingly.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

Cas looks down at the sleeping girl sadly. He had convinced an extremely worried Sam and Dean to give her a few hours and then let him try getting her to talk. He's glad she finally let it all out. They all knew she was hiding her feelings, and it had worried them. Now he knows what she was hiding, and it makes him hurt for her. She carries such a large burden for one so young, and most of it is her own thoughts. She seems convinced she'll never be a real mother, but he knows differently. She has so many great qualities that she just can't see.

Sighing sorrowfully, he whispers, "Why can't you see what everyone else can?" Careful not to wake her, he exits the room and travels down the hallway to the library. Sam and Dean are anxiously awaiting his arrival, hoping for some news.

"How is she?" Sam jumps up as soon as Cas comes in sight.

"Sleeping. I think she's doing better after talking, but only time will tell." Cas replies, voice heavy with sorrow.

"Is there anything we can do? I hate when she gets like this, shutting us out." Dean voices.

"Most of it is how she perceives herself. The best thing we can do is show her how we see her without being overbearing." Cas decides.

"We can do that, easy." Sam replies confidently.

"So, twins." Dean says, wanting to discuss this new development. They had focused most of their worry on Cat, but now that she seems better he wants to address what they learned.

"I know. It's incredible! Two little Winchesters." Sam exclaims excitedly. He was thrilled by the news and soaked up everything the doctor said.

"She definitely needs to stop hunting. That was a close call with the Grigori. Another few inches left and it would've severed her spinal cord. We can't let her put herself in danger anymore." Dean declares, protective big brother mode coming out in full force.

"She won't agree with that, and I don't think it will be good for her in her current headspace. So much of how she measures her worth is in how useful she is. You take away hunting now and she'll tailspin again." Cas lectures. He has quickly discovered this trait of the young woman and is hesitant to cause her more stress. Not only is it bad for her, but it could also negatively impact her babies.

"What if we had her on research? She's become an invaluable asset with how much lore she has read in her spare time. Then she's helping, but out of harm's way." Sam proposes.

"I could live with that. Cas?" Dean approves.

"It seems like the best solution." Cas finally agrees.

"We'll have to tell her everything the doctor said. She kinda zoned out for a while after the twins reveal." Sam continues after everyone green lights his plan.

"We need to set up a nursery and start getting baby things. She's due in September and it's already late April. We need to be prepared, especially since you never know what could happen in our lives." Dean begins to worry. He's realizing just how much they're going to have to do to be ready for the new arrivals.

"There's that spare room next to hers, we could convert it. Nice coat of paint and a decent cleaning out should be all it needs." Sam suggests. He had already consider this as soon as they had gotten her back. None of them really have any experience with babies, so this is going to be a learning experience for all of them.

"Perhaps discussing these things with Cat might cheer her up. I think the worst of the shock has worn off and planning their future could help her warm up to the idea of being a mother." Cas muses.

They continue to discuss the newest development until they decide to make some dinner. Hoping to coax Cat out of her room, Dean fries some shrimp and makes cheddar bay biscuits. He recently learned through a passing conversation that she loves this meal, and had bought the ingredients to make it for her as a treat.

When the food is almost ready, Sam goes to wake Cat up. She was feeling nauseous that morning so she hadn't eaten much all day. He hopes Dean's plan works. After getting no response to his knocking, he cracks open the door. He stands there for a minute looking at the curled up form of his little sister. She looks so vulnerable to his eyes. He walks over and sits beside her, reaching over and moving her hair out of her face.

"Cat, honey, you need to wake up." he calls gently. Her only response is a groan as she snuggles deeper into the covers. "Come on, sweetie. Dean made fried shrimp and cheddar bay biscuits just for you. You don't want to disappoint him, do you?" It's a bit of a low blow, but it has the desired effect. With another groan, Cat opens her eyes and fixes him with a sleepy glare.

"You're lucky 'm hungry." she mumbles as she begins trying to extricate herself from the covers. Sam aids her in disentangling herself and pulls her to her feet. "Did he really make biscuits?" she asks, excitement waking her up a bit more.

"I wouldn't lie about that, Cat." he teases good naturedly. He's glad to see her smiling and happy again. She's glowing again by the time dinner is over, making the guys smile. They stay and talk for a while after their plates are cleared away. Cat surprises them all by being the one to bring up baby shopping.

"So I guess we gotta buy double of everything for the babies, huh?" she starts.

"Yeah." Dean replies. "We thought we could use the spare storage room next to yours as a nursery. It won't take much to clean it out and put a fresh coat of paint on the walls."

"That sounds great!" she exclaims happily. "I've been thinking, and I want to go gender neutral, maybe a nice nature theme like a forest." They continue discussing and arguing over everything they'll need. Sam even pulls out his laptop so they can look online. "I'm actually excited about this. Don't get me wrong, I'm scared as hell, but I'm gonna be a _mom_! I thought it would be impossible for so long and it was always intimidating, but I think the four of us can pull this off. I could never do this without you guys. I hope you know that." Cat confesses out of the blue while they're comparing the quality of different brands of cribs.

"I'm excited to be an uncle and I know you'll be a rockin' mom." Dean declares. Sam and Cas voice their agreement, warming Cat's heart.

*Time Skip*

"Hey, Sam?" I start, drawing his attention away from the computer.

"What is it, Cat? Do you need something? Dean's in town if you need him to pick you up something." Sam spouts off.

"Actually, I wanted to propose something to you." I reply with a bit of excitement and hope.

"Oh, go ahead then." he tells me with an easy smile.

"Well I was hoping I could help with the Book of the Damned." His smile disappears in a blink and is replaced by a frown I've become intimately familiar with and hate. "Just let me finish!" I continue hurriedly, cutting off his rejection. "I'll be safe and can help keep an eye on things. I have read a ton of these books and files, more than you, Dean, and Cas combined. I can _help_ , Sam. Just give me a chance!" I plead.

His face melts into a look of indecision. "Well I don't know, Cat. Rowena is a dangerous witch and I don't want you getting hurt."

"When will y'all get it through your thick skulls that I'm _not_ a freakin' delicate flower?! She'sin iron chains, I'll be fine! Besides, you're planning on bringing Charlie in, right?" I argue.

"Well yeah but-" Sam responds, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

"If you think Charlie can handle it, then so can I." I state stubbornly.

"That's different! She's not-"

"Pregnancy doesn't make me weak, Samuel. You know what, I'll make you a deal. You let me help, and I won't ask to hunt during the rest of the pregnancy. I'll be the lore master or whatever." I can see that he is close to breaking so I throw in one last hit in. "Besides, I haven't seen Charlie in months! I need some girl bonding time. The testosterone has become suffocating since the Tulsa case a few weeks ago."

"Dammit, Cat. Fine! I have a few conditions, though. You're never allowed alone in the room with Rowena, you stay a safe distance away from her at all times, and you _stay there_. No running off alone."

"Thanks, Sammy!" I squeal, kissing him on the cheek happily. He has no idea that I have alternative reasons for wanting to go. I still want to help, but I also want to meet Rowena and save Charlie.

"Geez, what has you so excited?" Dean comments as he comes down the steps. I hadn't heard the door, but it looks like he didn't overhear anything important.

"Sam agreed to let me spend a few days with Charlie. I've missed my best friend." I tell him, not exactly lying, just omitting certain truths.

"Did he now? You went for the weak link, huh?" he teases. "It's fine with me too. You deserve some girl time to gossip and braid each other's hair or whatever."

"Thanks, De! I'll start packing!" I exclaim, rushing out before either of them change their minds.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

The brothers watch the retreating form of the young woman before Dean speaks up. "Did you find anything else on that case?"

"No, just the reports you found."

"Good idea on letting Cat visit Charlie. This way she won't be put in danger on a hunt you know she would try to tag along on. Now we'll know she's safe with a friend."

"Oh yeah. Figured you'd approve." Sam replies awkwardly.

"We'll head out tomorrow, get some sleep." Dean says before heading to his own room.

*Time Skip*

Cat follows Sam in her red car as they go to meet up with Charlie. When they pull up, Charlie is already there and waiting for the two of them. "Whoa you're pregnant!" Charlie exclaims in surprise when she sees Cat.

Cat laughs at her friend's shock and replies, "Guess no one told you, huh?"

"No! How long?" Charlie asks excitedly.

"About five months. Just found out a few weeks ago, after I was rescued, that it's twins."

"That's awesome, Cat! Are you excited?"

"Yeah, but also terrified. I'm just glad I'll have some help since Kevin died before I even realized I was expecting." Cat sighs.

Sam butts in before they can go too far in their girl talk. "Hey, Charlie. Thanks for coming."

"No problem, Sam. What's going on? You were pretty vague on the phone." Charlie replies.

Sam goes on to tell her his plan for removing the Mark from Dean, Cat listening in. He convinces her to at least go with them to the warehouse, so they all load up and head out. "So you're in on this too, then?" Charlie questions Cat as they walk up to the dilapidated warehouse.

"Insider knowledge will hopefully help move this along. Also, I have all my knowledge gained from the Men of Letters to contribute." Cat offers as explanation. Her voice then drops low enough to where it won't carry to Sam, who is walking in front of them. "I may also really want to meet the witch, Rowena. I know she's dangerous, but she always fascinated me." she admits with a slight blush.

"I thought I was clear, Samuel. I requested more time, not assistants." Rowena says disdainfully as they walk in.

"They're not your assistants. You're theirs." Sam replies, slightly annoyed by the witch.

"And you studied your craft where?" she asks the two women, a hint of disdain still contained in her voice.

"Mostly a joint called Mas Java. It has excellent Wi-Fi." Charlie replies.

"I have not heard of this institution, and I know all the great global centers of witchcraft."

"Makes sense, 'cause I'm not a witch. I'm a nerd. And I know all the great centers of nerd-dom." Charlie shoots back.

"What about you?" Rowena questions, turning on Cat.

"Mostly Men of Letters' Bunker collection. You could say I'm the lore master." Cat responds, winking at the end.

"Rowena, are you done marking your turf? Listen, Charlie has tech chops and Cat has lore knowledge that'll speed up cracking Nadya's codex. You will spot the ancient curses and spells, and that'll put this whole mess in context." Sam cuts in, seeming a bit exasperated.

About this time, Cas comes in. "Cas. Are you in on this, too?" Charlie asks him.

"Hell's bells. More distractions? What are you? Witch or nerd?" Rowena asks him.

"Angel." he replies monotonously.

"Beg pardon?"

"Castiel has, uh, powers . . . spiritual muscle that'll help safeguard the work." Sam explains to her.

"Safeguard it from what?"

"You. I can't be here full time to referee." Sam snaps.

"Whoa, whoa. And I can?" Cas exclaims in surprise, obviously not having been told beforehand.

"Yes. Please. Please do this for me." Sam pleads. He had already planned on bringing him in, but with Cat being involved, he really needs him to say yes.

"Well, what are the rules? If I'm gonna referee, I should at least know them." Cas responds, taking his position literally.

"Quite literal, aren't you? Does he know that the first rule is don't tell your brother what we're doing?" Rowena mocks.

Cas voices his reservations about that, Charlie agreeing, but Sam convinces them to pitch in. After everyone has their jobs, he heads back to the Bunker to meet with Dean for their newest case.

"Cat, why are you here? You know how dangerous Rowena is, even locked in iron." Cas says to Cat, pulling her into a side room for a bit of privacy.

"Same reason you're here Feathers. I know he's been trying to hide how unstable he is around me, but he forgets I already know. I _know_ this will work, I've seen it. I'll admit I have other reasons for being here as well, but I promise I'll be careful. Y'all seem to forget that I want to get hurt even less than y'all want me to. I love you, Cas, but you need to trust my decisions some times." she replies patiently.

"I'm sorry, Cat. I'll try to remember that." Cas responds with a sigh. They return to the main room and Cas takes up his post as guard while Cat joins Charlie to help her out.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Hey, Cas? Can we go on a snack run? Pregnancy cravings are a bitch." I say to Cas. I tried to ignore them, but soon I couldn't even concentrate on what I was trying to do.

"Sure, Cat. Charlie, keep an eye on Rowena while we're gone." he instructs before leading the way to his car. He drives to a nearby corner store to pick up some snacks for everyone while I peruse the aisles for my own. This time my craving is Bun cha Crunch, potato chips, a pickle, tropical Skittles, and strawberry soda.

I'm so glad it wasn't something ridiculous like that time I wanted the spaghetti from Elf. I grossed the boys out so much with that, but I thought it was good. I've also craved things I've never liked like certain fruits and vegetables. Dean likes to joke that the odd range is because one kid likes healthy food while the other has a sweet tooth. I'm inclined to believe him on that.

"Are you ready, Cat?" Cas asks, his food already purchased and in a bag.

"Yeah, just let me pay for all this." After we've got all the food, we come back to a bit of a squabble between Rowena and Charlie. I return to my spot beside Charlie and listen to the conversation about Agnes. Soon they finish and we get back to work. Rowena continues to make annoying comments and mocks both Charlie and I. Cas tries his best to manage the situation, but Rowena won't let up.

When Charlie pulls Cas away to talk, Rowena turns sharp eyes on me. "So you're the girl who escaped the Grand Coven three times." It isn't a question, but I still answer.

"Yep. Honestly I don't see what's so 'Grand' about it. In my experience, all they did was kidnap, maim, and try to kill me. They couldn't even do that right anyway. Pretty sad to be honest." I goad. I know it's not smart, but I had already kept my mouth shut during all her insults and rude comments.

"You're correct about that, Caitlin. They are a pale relic of what they once were. They were so set on gaining power, they almost ruined their chances. Your current state would have weakened their spell significantly. No doubt your power is being absorbed by your child, causing it to weaken. Of course, once you deliver, your power will return to full strength shortly after." she tells me. I don't even question the use of my full name.

"Their little parting gift probably kept them from that realization." I scoff. "It would've served them right for screwing with my life since I was born."

"Ah yes, the warded band. May I?" she asks, gesturing me over.

"No. It can't be removed without endangering my children." I respond firmly.

"Children? You're having twins, then. I suppose congratulations are in order."

"Thank you, and I suppose I should thank you for helping my brothers find me. I'm sure you had your own plans, but still."

"Sharp one, aren't you. I'll admit I had planned on using you, but that was before."

Before I can reply, Cas and Charlie rejoin us. As before, Charlie and Rowena start snipping at each other instead of working. Cas makes a call to Sam then drags Rowena into a separate room. "Cat, I just can't work here. I need to get away so I can focus. Can you let Cas know?" Charlie asks after the door shuts behind them.

"Charlie, you can't. Remember that insider knowledge I was talking about?"

"Yeah, what does that have to do with this?"

"I'll be straight with you. If you leave, you'll die."

 ** _A/N: Sorry for the delay, but LIFE. Things will pick up next time and I have so many ideas on where this can go. Reviews always appreciated! Until next time! Ciao!_**


	9. Chapter 9

**One Way or Another**

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. I'll _die_?" Charlie exclaims in surprise.

"I didn't tell anyone, but yes. The Stynes will find and murder you in a motel. I don't think it would be wise to tempt fate by just going somewhere else either." Cat responds matter-of-factly.

"What should I do, then? I _need_ to be able to concentrate." Charlie emphasizes. She knows if she can just get some peace and quiet, she can crack this.

"Can you not work here if Rowena is in there? I can even go somewhere else too if you need me to." Cat offers, trying to find a good solution.

"Couldn't you just fly us to the Bunker or something? Surely we'll be safe there." Charlie counters.

"Damn, we really left you out of the loop." Cat comments with a wince. She hadn't even thought to tell Charlie about everything that's happened. "This black band isn't just an accessory. When the Coven had me, they put this on. It's warded to keep me from using my powers or for anyone to use their own powers on me. The general consensus is that if it's removed before the twins are born, then it could damage them. So until September, I'm grounded essentially."

"Wow, Cat. I'm sorry that happened. I can make do with a Rowena-free room then." Charlie concedes.

She and Cat get back to work and soon Cas joins them. "Thanks for the help, Cas." Cat tells him with a smile.

"Of course, Cat. Have you two made any progress?" he questions, looking over their notes.

"I think we may be close." Cat replies, hoping for the best.

"Got it!" Charlie crows triumphantly nearly a half hour later.

"Are you sure?" Cas asks her, cautious optimism evident in both his voice and his face. Instead of answering him verbally, she turns her screen to face him. His eyes widen in delight at the infinity match for the code. "I'll go bring Rowena back. With this, she should be able to decode the Book of the Damned."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Cat? What is it?" Sam answers his phone when I call.

"Charlie cracked the code, we're so close Sam!" I exclaim excitedly.

I hear a sharp inhale then, "She really did it?"

"Yeah, Sam. Soon we'll have our Dean back. How is he by the way?"

"Not good. He drove off after he figured out about the book. I think he went after the Stynes, we had one but he escaped."

"Shit. I thought that since Charlie was okay he wouldn't go off the reservation like that."

"Charlie? Why wouldn't she be okay? What aren't you telling me, Cat?"

"Charlie was supposed to be murdered by the Stynes, but I prevented it. Looks like I didn't drastically change things if Dean still went after the Stynes."

I hear a frustrated sigh before he replies, "After all this is over, we're going to sit down and talk about keeping important information like that to yourself. Pass the phone to Cas for me."

I quickly hand the phone off to Cas who had just finished getting Rowena settled back at her table. He walks off and I tune him out, focusing on Rowena instead. "Would you like some help? I've always been good at languages."

"You're like a wee babe compared to me. How could you possibly read such an ancient language?" she scoffs haughtily.

"I already know the three main ingredients." I counter sharply. I don't like the way she dismissed me so easily.

"Sure you do, lass. Do us a favor and go back to your gadgets. Leave this to the professionals." she dismisses me without a single glance my way.

"Something made by man but forbidden by God, something made by God but forbidden to man, and something you love." I list off angrily.

"Bah, mere speculations. Run along dear."

Frustrated, I storm out to my car and shut myself in, but leave it off. "If she'd just listen, we could end this quickly." I fume, voicing my annoyance to the car's interior. Sulking in my seat, I'm startled by a tap on my window. Cranking it down, Cas hands the phone back to me.

"I'm leaving to try to find Dean and Sam should be here soon. He wants you to stay with Charlie until he gets here so you two can keep an eye on Rowena." he tells me.

"Alright, be careful Cas. Dean isn't in his right mind right now." I warn.

"You be careful too, Cat. Just because she's in iron chains doesn't mean she's harmless. If you need anything, call Sam or I. Don't leave under any circumstances and don't let Charlie leave." he instructs.

"Will do." I respond lightly, jokingly saluting him. This earns a smile from in and a low chuckle. I roll the window back up and exit the car while Cas climbs into his own. Waving to him as he leaves, I make my way back into the warehouse to rejoin Charlie.

"So I guess we are stuck on babysitting duty." Charlie sighs once I relay what Cas told me. We mess around on her laptop while waiting for Sam to show up. Rowena still sits at the table, not doing anything productive at all.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

When Sam walks in, he sees Rowena filing her nails while Cat and Charlie seem to be watching something on YouTube. He walks over to Rowena and says, "I thought you could read the book now? Why aren't you translating?"

"About that. I said I can read the book, never said I would." she tells him.

"We had a deal." he reminds her.

"We did, we do. And it's time you held up your end. I want my son dead."

"After-"

"-Now. Once I cast the spell, and you need me to cast that spell, who knows what'll happen."

Sam slams his hand angrily on the table. "I don't have time for this!" he yells angrily.

"Right, you don't! Your brother's a walkin' freakin' time bomb, and the clock, she's a ticking. So you will kill my son, and you will do it my way, now!" Rowena finishes.

Sam throws his hands up in annoyance and walks over to the two girls who had been watching the entire exchange. "Charlie, there's not anything else we need you for if you want to leave."

"Thanks, Sam. I have some stuff to take care of so I'll go ahead and head out." she replies easily.

"Cat, you should go home too. Get some rest and decent food." he continues, turning to the woman in question.

"I can go with you if you don't want me alone with Rowena." she offers.

"No, Cat. You need to go home." Sam declares with an air of finality.

"But I can help!" Cat exclaims, trying to change his mind. She has a weird feeling that the Bunker isn't safe, but her memory is fuzzy.

Sam huffs out a breath and calms his features. "You can't come with me, Crowley is still a dangerous bastard, and you can't stay here either. The Bunker is the safest place for you, and that's final."

Defeated, Cat resignedly says, "Okay, Sam. Text me or call me if anything happens."

"Same for you, Cat. Drive safe and let me know when you get back so I'll know you're okay."

With that, the three each get into their individual cars and drive away. Charlie heads home, Sam sets out to trap and kill Crowley, and Cat makes her way home. She texts Sam before stepping out of the car and into the garage.

 ** _Cat: In the garage. Don't do anything stupid, Moose_**

 _Moose: Get some rest, Cat. I'll let you know if anything happens_

Putting her phone away, she climbs the stairs and enters the hallway. She makes a beeline for her room and is soon changed and tucked under the covers. While she's asleep, she misses the sound of the exterior door being broken down and voices filling the halls.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

I'm yanked out of sleep, literally, by someone pulling me out of my bed. "Who do we have here? One of the Winchesters' bitch? Knocked up bitch by the looks of it." I hear a man with some kind of a southern accent say. I'm on my hands and knees on the floor where I caught myself as I fell. My face is wrenched up and I find myself looking up at a blond man with cold eyes. Behind him stand another man and a boy.

"Sister, actually. Y'all must be Stynes." I conclude.

"Indeed we are. I wasn't aware the Winchesters had a sister. Where have they been hiding you?"

"I've been away for some time." I answer vaguely. I'm hoping that by keeping them talking I can buy some time to plan an escape. This was why I had a bad feeling, I had forgotten about the Stynes ransacking the place.

"Cyrus." the blonde barks. "Help the poor girl up and make her comfortable." As the boy, Cyrus, walks over, the blonde pulls him close and whispers something. Cyrus' eyes widen in dismay, but he nods resolutely and continues over to me.

"Come on." he says gently as he helps me off the floor and leads me toward the library. He grabs some rope they must have brought and proceeds to tie me to one of the chairs. "I'm so sorry, ma'am. Eldon will hurt us both if I don't do this." he apologizes.

"I understand, it's okay." I reassure him. He's not a bad guy, just being forced to be bad against his will. I can hardly blame him for trying to protect us both by obeying. I watch as they destroy my home. I cry out in heartbreak and anger as the blonde, Eldon, rips my dragon in half as the other man smashes the framed photo of Kev and I.

"Oh I'm sorry, was that important to you?" Eldon mocks, laughing at the pain on my face. "Sentimentality gets you killed."

"Or gets _you_ killed." I bite back threateningly.

"Feisty one, aren't you? What could _you_ possibly do to _me_?"

"She may not be able to do anything, but I can." Dean growls from somewhere behind me.

"Dean! Don't!" I shout, trying to prevent the massacre.

"Well there he is. I hope you brought marshmallows." Eldon greets, unaware of his imminent demise.

"Been looking for you." Dean says, coming into view finally.

"You got lucky before. This time, I'm sporting some new upgrades. See my old man-" Eldon goads.

"Your old man's dead. They're all dead. So you can save me the speech on the three hearts, the two spleens, the seven nipples, for the ladies... or the fellas, I don't judge. But even with all that, you still only have one brain." Looking in Dean's face, I don't even recognize him anymore.

"So?" Eldon responds.

Dean draws his gun and shoots Eldon in the head before he has even realized what happened, then aims at Cyrus.

"No no no no no, don't! Don't!" Cyrus pleads.

"Dean! Don't shoot him!" I plead as well.

"Why not? He's one of them." he responds to me, eyes and gun never wavering from Cyrus.

Cyrus' voice shakes as he denies. "No. No, I'm not! Okay, I hate my family! See, look! (pulls up shirt) No stitches! I'm not like them, I promise."

"Oh, you are like them. There's bad in you. It's in your blood. Now you can deny it and you can run from it all you want, but that bad... will always win." Dean tells him.

"Dean, please. He's not a bad guy." I continue to try to talk him down, frustrated that I'm tied up.

"Then why was he destroying our home and leaving you tied up?" he counters.

"I'll do anything you want. Okay, please. You don't need to do this. Please." Cyrus cries. I begin to cry too, knowing how this will end.

Dean hesitates, but then responds, "Yeah. I do." and shoots Cyrus. I scream and Cas barrels in.

"Dean!" he shouts, causing Dean to look at him. "What have you done?"

"I put down a monster." he replies. Cas looks shaken, but rushes over to my side and unties me.

"Cat, go to your room and lock the door." he instructs me quietly.

"Cas, no! Dean needs-"

"Dean is extremely violent and not in control. He could hurt you and I can't let that happen." He then turns and starts talking to Dean, presumably to distract him from my retreat.

"Sorry, Cas." I whisper under my breath and slowly inch closer to where the two are talking.

"Yeah well, that Dean's always been kind of a dick." I hear Dean say. He then tries to leave but Cas grabs his shoulder to stop him.

"Dean. I don't want to have to hurt you." Cas tells him, both unaware of my presence.

"I don't think that's gonna be a problem." Dean sneers before he grabs Cas' hand and wrenches it off of his shoulder. He then punches him hard in the face with his other hand.

"Dean! Stop!" I cry.

"Cat! Get out of here!" Cas shouts before Dean cuts him off with a few more punches. He throws Cas on the floor then turns on me, nothing but pure rage on his face.

"Dean, you need to calm down." I say soothingly, praying it helps.

Dean, no longer in full control, lunges at me and lands a solid hit on the right side of my face. As he goes to punch me again, Cas shouts, "Dean! Don't! Don't hurt her!"

Dean then turns back to Cas and attacks him viciously. I try to pull him off, but he shoves me off and I fall, off balance, head colliding with the corner of a table. Woozily I turn my head and see Dean pull out Cas' angel blade. He pulls Cas up by his tie and prepares to stab him, but Cas grabs his hand.

"No, Dean. Please." Cas coughs, blood coming out of his mouth.

Dean stares at him coldly then thrusts the blade into a book near Cas' head. "You and Sam stay the hell away from me. Next time I won't miss." he states as he walks away, leaving Cas and I on the floor. We both watch him leave in horror, unable to reconcile the man we know with the man in front of us.

 _You hear the dooooorrrr slam and re-a-lize there's nowhere left to ruuunnn. You feel the coooolllld hand and wonder if you'll ever see the suuuunnn. You close your eyyyyes and hope that this is just i-mag-i-nation. Girl! But all the whiiilllle you hear the creature creepin' up behind. You're out of tiiii-_

"Hello?" I croak, having drug myself over to where my phone had been discarded on the floor by the Stynes.

"Cat? What's wrong?" I hear Sam ask worriedly, reacting to my hoarse voice.

"Dean, he uhh…he left." I stutter out.

"He was there? Did he hurt you? Where's Cas?"

"Cas is pretty beat up. Dean he….he wasn't in control."

"Shit! Did he hurt you? Please answer, Cat."

"I'll be fine, but you need to find him before he gets someone else killed. He killed the three Stynes that broke in, including a kid, Sam."

"The Stynes were there?"

"Yeah, they tied me up and trashed the place, but didn't hurt me."

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

"I'm gonna try to help Cas, see you soon." I end the call. I gingerly crawl over to Cas, the impact with the table making me extremely dizzy and nauseous. "Cas?"

He opens his eyes and turns his glassy eyes to me. "You should have hidden." he coughs out, more blood dribbling out of his mouth.

"I should have, but I couldn't leave you alone with him. A shiner and a knock to the head is nothing compared to what he did to you. I can't believe he-"

"We both know that was the Mark, not Dean. Dean would never lift a finger against you. He's losing his war with the Mark." Cas cuts me off.

"You're right. Sam's on his way so let's get you up off the floor at least." With a good bit of difficulty, I get to my feet and carefully pull Cas up as well. He leans on me heavily as I guide him to the chair I was recently bound in.

"Cas? Cat?" Sam's voice comes from the hall.

"In here!" I call out, sinking into a chair of my own as I try to fight the spinning vision.

"Oh my God!" he exclaims in shock as he takes in the two of us. I reach back to the throbbing lump on the back of my head and feel a wetness. Pulling my hand back, I confirm that I'm bleeding. "Dean did all this?" he questions as he takes in the three dead bodies as well.

"He's losing his fight with the Mark. This is only the beginning if we can't remove it." Cas predicts ominously. Sam runs and grabs the heavy duty first aid kit from the bathroom and begins patching Cas up.

"You should put some ice on that cheek before it swells too much." he instructs me. I take a deep breath and slowly push myself to my feet, pausing until the room settles around me. Sam notices this and says, "Are you okay?"

"Dean pushed her off when she tried to get him to stop attacking me. She fell back and cracked her head on the corner of the table. I believe she may have a slight concussion." Cas informs him, wincing as Sam presses a bit too roughly on one of his cuts.

"Sit down, I'll get it." he commands, gently pressing me back into the chair. He walks off and soon returns with an ice pack wrapped in a towel. He gingerly sets it against my surely swollen face and has me hold it in place while he continues cleaning Cas up. When he finishes that, he comes back over to me and checks Cas' theory of a concussion. "Cas was right, you have a small concussion. What were you thinking, Cat? You knew he was violent and dangerous!"

"I had to try! He was attacking Cas! You three are my brothers, I couldn't just stand by!" I argue, raising my voice.

"And if he had attacked you? What if he had hurt the twins? You can't keep putting yourself in danger! How's Dean going to feel when he realizes what he did and could have done?" Sam lectures, raising his voice to match mine.

"I'm fine, Sam. I've had a lot worse and you know it. This is nothing compared to Mággisa."

"You're missing the point! You have more than just yourself to think about."

"So if I _wasn't_ pregnant then you'd be okay with this?"

"No, Cat. I meant that losing you would kill us. You being missing was hard enough, I can't even begin to imagine if you had-" His voice breaks and he clears his throat before continuing. "Look, yes you being pregnant makes a difference, but we never want you risking your life like that period."

I'm shocked by his voice breaking as he was talking. I know how hard that time was on them. "I understand, Sam. That's why I had to interfere. Cas is my brother and I love him. I can't imagine losing him, Dean, or you. Y'all are all I have and I was trying to protect that."

"Guys, we should really be focusing on finding Dean instead of arguing." Cas interjects. Sam and I agree to a truce and set about finding or lost brother. Sam and I both try calling Dean, but 12 voicemails later, nothing. Sam also starts making some witch-killing brew while I fill hollowed out bullets with it. Rowena is gonna help us regardless of Sam's failed attempt on Crowley.

Sam and Cas argue about whether it's a good idea to remove the Mark while I try not to get dragged in. If they knew about the Darkness, they'd never go through with it and we'd lose Dean. Soon we're all heading back to the warehouse to confront Rowena, Sam and I in his car and Cas in his own car. The boys decided it would be best for me to tag along since the Bunker was compromised.

"Hello, boys. Cat too, lovely. Just in time for tea, u-unless something on your mind?" Rowena greets us.

"Five things, actually." Sam says, raising and cocking his gun. "Hollow tips filled with witch-killing brew."

"How exciting for you. Your NRA will be beside themselves with pride." Rowena mocks.

"No more games, Rowena." Sam growls out. "Do the spell now."

"Or what exactly?" Rowena asks. In answer, Sam looks down at his gun. "Come on, Samuel!" she exclaims, standing up. "You and I both know that's nothing but a bluff. Charlie may have cracked the codex, but who's going to read it if I'm gone? Not to mention handling the ingredients, getting the measurements just right" she raises her voice as she continues. "Unless, of course, any of you have spent years of your life studying with the greats, mastering the intricacies of high witchcraft? But forgive me. Maybe you have. I know you're upset. We all are. Poor Dean. Let's just have a nice wee cup of tea... and negotiate."

Sam uncocks his gun and approaches her. "What do you want?"

"Oh, well, we know what I wanted." she answers. "Soiled the sheets on that one, didn't we? Let's talk about what I'll take, my freedom guaranteed and the codex."

"Sam, you can't be-" Cas starts, alarmed.

"Do you know which spell?" Sam plows on, ignoring Cas completely.

"I do." Rowena confirms.

"Sam. This is a mistake." Cas tries again. Sam agrees to Rowena's terms and she begins reading the ingredients needed.

"Something made by man but forbidden by God, something made by God but forbidden to man, and something you love" I list off once more, smirking at the annoyance on her face. She quickly reads over everything before turning a curious look at me.

"The lass is correct. How did you know that?" she questions me.

"Ancient Chinese secret." I retort with another smirk and a wink.

"Okay, so what does that mean we need?" Sam questions me. He knows he can trust me to tell him the correct ingredients."

"Golden calf, forbidden fruit, and a polish boy named Oskar." I recall from my memory. About that time, Sam's phone begins to ring.

"Cas, take this." Sam requests after hanging up on someone he called Rudy, another hunter. He hands Castiel a plastic bag and says, "It's Dean's hair. You need it for the spell. Cas, I need you to do this for me. Make the spell happen whatever it takes, please." He then turns to me. "Cat, I want you to stay with Cas. Dean is too dangerous for you to come with me. Can you promise not to run off?"

"Yeah Sam, I can help Cas. Go save our brother." I reply. He walks out and I turn to Cas. "We're going to need to summon Crowley if we want the ingredients." Cas agrees to my suggestion and we head out. He's not happy about me being around Crowley, but he doesn't trust Rowena either.

"Stay in the car and don't draw any attention to yourself. I'll deal with Crowley." Cas instructs, stopping at a crossroads.

"Crowley will know I'm here anyway. Even with this band on my wrist he'll sense me. I may as well go out there with you." I inform him.

"Regardless of whether he knows you're here or not, he can't be trusted. Please just stay here." Cas requests.

"Yeah, alright Cas." I concede. "Just make sure he agrees to help. We need those ingredients to save Dean." He nods and climbs out of the car, digging in the trunk for the necessary items to summon the King of Hell. I watch as he sets everything up and roll the windows down slightly so I will be able to hear the entire exchange.

"Who summons anymore? Couldn't you call?" Crowley complains as he appears between the car and Cas.

"You're not in my contacts list." Cas replies, seeming slightly annoyed.

"What?" Crowley demands, wondering why he was summoned.

"I need your assistance to help cure Dean of the Mark." Cas explains to him.

"What's the expression? I gave at the office?" Crowley asks sarcastically. "Maybe I'd feel a little different if Sam Winchester hadn't just tried to bloody kill me!" he shouts angrily.

"I'm afraid "no" is not an acceptable answer." Cas tells him ominously.

"Or what?"

"Or..." Castiel raises his hand in front of Crowley's face and concentrates intently in a position that clearly communicates his intention to smite him.

"That's right. Burn those eyes blue. Spread those broken wings and destroy me! Or...Do it my way." Crowley mocks. Castiel lowers his hand and waits to see what Crowley will offer. "Right. Now beg."

"What?"

"Blast me, or beg." Crowley demands.

"Crowley."

"King!"

"King." Cas amends, annoyance blatantly obvious in his tone of voice. "If you -if you would - if you would be so kind...The three ingredients on this list."

"'Forbidden fruit.' Well, for starters, it's a quince, you dummy, not an apple. No problem. 'Golden Calf'... Or what's left of it - check. 'Something Rowena loves'?" Crowley reads off the list Cas hands him.

"I would've thought it would've been you, but..." Cas admits.

"Spare me. I've lived it." Crowley interrupts him.

"Well..." Cas stresses.

"I'm in." Crowley declares before turning to look straight at me. "Nice to see you, Bird. A little hamster told me your wings were clipped and you were lost in the woods. Sorry about your boy toy, Kevin. I was rather fond of the scamp."

"Go to Hell, Crowley." I growl in response.

"I live there, darling. Not such a great insult. Perhaps your time abroad made you as dumb as the muttonheads you call brothers. Shame, you really were an intelligent and strong willed girl." he mocks.

"Crowley, go get the ingredients. You have no business with Cat." Cas' deep voice has a hint of threat in it, causing goosebumps to appear on my arms.

"Unruffle your feathers. I was just catching up with my favorite student." Crowley dismisses, unconcerned by Cas' tone. "Nice to see you again, Bird. Congratulations, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful mother to your abominations." He disappears before we can react.

"Cas?" I ask, stepping out of the car and approaching the frozen angel. Something Crowley said shocked him and I can guess what it was. "Hey, I knew there was a chance they'd be supernatural like me. I've long since come to terms with it. Cas? Ground control to Major Tom. Hello?"

He finally blinks and shakes my hand off. "Sorry, Cat. I don't know why I never even considered it. Although how Crowley knew…"

"The band isn't warded against Hell, just Heaven and magic. There are wards to bind my demonic powers, but nothing to thwart outside demonic powers. I've been researching the symbols since they glow every time I try to remove the band." I explain slowly, confident he'll understand what this means.

"In other words, only a demon can sense or affect you." Cas realizes.

"Yup." I confirm. "Guess I should have mentioned all this sooner, huh?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter now. Let's get back to the warehouse and we can tell your brothers about all this after the spell." Cas directs. We're soon back at the warehouse where Rowena decides to chat again.

"So who's the father? Surely not one of the Hardy Boys or the literal angel." she asks conversationally.

"My fiancé, Kevin. He's…not in the picture anymore." I reply, voice breaking a bit.

"Knocked you up then left you? I've been there, dearie. Men are all the same. They abandon you as soon as you become a burden or ruin their perfect life." she sympathizes.

"Kevin. Did. Not. Abandon. Me." I grit out, jaw clenched painfully in anger.

"Sure, lass. He's just on a very long milk run. Face it, he left you high and dry." Rowena scoffs.

"Kevin was a good man and would never abandon Cat." Cas defends as my vision goes red. "He died a few months ago. He never knew of his children, but he would have been a great father."

"My mistake." Rowena yields. "I assumed he was alive."

"Yeah well, don't. Shouldn't you be translating or something?" I snap at her.

"Bit of a temper on you. I require the ingredients before I can do anymore. Did my son agree to help?"

"Yes he did. He should return soon with everything we need." Cas answers her. We all settle in to wait, Cas taking a spot between Rowena and I. I'm guessing he was trying to be subtle about it, but he was never good at that.

Finally, Crowley arrives and produces each ingredient, including poor Oskar. I look away as Rowena stabs him and drains his blood into the bowl with the other ingredients, finishing the incantation and spell. A bolt of energy erupts from the bowl and blasts through the roof. The shockwave knocks us all to the ground, my head impacting the ground, causing me to temporarily blackout from the pain since it was the exact spot that impacted the table earlier today.

"Cat? Are you okay?" Cas asks, coughing from the dust that was stirred up around us. Before I can answer, the chains on Rowena's arms fall off.

"Manete!" she shouts, freezing all three of us. Cas and Crowley had regained their feet, but I'm still lying vulnerable on the ground.

"What is this? This is impossible. You're not powerful enough." Crowley exclaims in surprise.

"To what? Control the likes of a bored king and a wayward angel?" she mocks as she gathers up the Book of the Damned, the Codex, and all the notes. "Impetus bestiarum." she directs at Cas, causing him to bend over groaning. "I'm afraid, Fergus, that in all your long life, you've never seen what a real witch can do with real magic. I'm terrifically pleased it's the last thing you'll ever see." she says with a wicked glint in her eye. Before finishing her attack on her son, she turns and glides over to me.

"You can't use me, remember?" I remind her warily. She crouches down beside me and smirks.

In a voice that is so quiet I can barely hear it, much less the other two in the room, she replies, "Not now, but in a few months time there will be three of you. Do you really think you will ever be safe? However, I will offer you a deal. I will leave your children alone if you promise to turn yourself over to me in a year's time. That should give you a few months with them at least." She stands back to her feet and walks over to Crowley, pulling a contract out of his pocket. With a short chant, she brings it over to me with a pen. "This will be binding. If you break it, you forfeit your soul and the souls of your children to Hell. If you don't sign, I will come after your entire family and kill them. Your move, dear."


	10. Chapter 10

**If You Want Blood**

"I don't know why I ever liked you. You're just a devious, manipulative evil bitch." I spit out.

"Flattery won't get you anywhere. So, do we have a deal?" she questions, her face showing she thinks she already won.

"I have one request." I say, hoping desperately that she will give me this.

"What is it?" she sighs.

"If I sign, you can't touch my family _and_ you will keep any other witches from harming my children. It's in your best interest to remain the most powerful, isn't it?" I demand. If it's true that the lives currently growing inside me will have my same supernatural physiology, then they're at risk. I trust my three brothers to protect them, but having Rowena on their side wouldn't hurt.

"Fine. Your precious baes will be under my protection. Are we in agreement then? What is your choice?" she agrees easily.

"Can't exactly sign without being able to move my arms." I remind her resignedly. With a short incantation, I can move again. I yank the pen from her outstretched hand and sign my life away. I didn't really have a choice if not doing it meant my family was in danger. I could never in good conscience put any one of them in danger and I have no doubts that she would do exactly as she said.

 **May 12** **th** **: 1 year left**

As soon as the 'r' is completed, there's a bright white flash and a brief but intense pain somewhere deep within me. The twins, who had been oddly still all day, kick furiously, almost as if they could feel it too. Understanding that it was an indication that my time is now limited, I glance over at Cas while Rowena plucks the contract from my hands and reads it over. It's obvious that neither Cas nor Crowley have any idea what just happened. Cas is still fighting Rowena's spell and Crowley is occupied with watching him warily.

"Fabulous!" Rowena exclaims happily, rolling up the contract. She then turns to the frozen forms of Cas and Crowley. "Dele malum hoc." She points to Castiel and then to Crowley as she walks away. Sensing the danger I'm in, I struggle to my feet using a nearby chair. Just as I make it to a standing position, Cas has Crowley down on the ground and stabbed. He then gets back up and stalks toward me, angel blade held threateningly at his side.

"Cas? Hey Feathers, it's me. Remember me, the girl who considers you a brother, the girl you're very protective of? Come on, Cas, it's Cat!" I try to break through, but he doesn't seem to hear it, never wavering. I put my arm out to hold him back, but he grabs it and twists it. There's an audible _snap_ and pain radiates up my arm. I give a pained cry and pull it back to my chest, continuing to back away from him.

The pure bloodlust in his eyes is so against everything he is to me that it makes me physically ill. The man I've grown to love and cherish as family is now dead set on killing me. Without warning, my back hits a wall and his hands are around my throat, choking me. "Cas, please." I croak, quickly running out of air. A tear falls from my eye as I use my last bit of air to plead, " _Please, brother_."

I gasp for air as he yanks his hands back and stares at me in horror. "Cat? Cat you need to get away from me! _Now_! I can't control the spell." he begs, strain evident in his voice. I stumble away and run to where his car sits in the lot, key still in the ignition. I climb in and peel out of there as soon as I can. Not knowing what else to do, I go back to the Bunker. Luckily, I'm well versed in first aid from hunting with Sam and Dean so I set my broken arm and wrap it up before putting it into Sam's old sling.

"Cat? I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I never wanted to hurt you." Dean apologizes as soon as he answers his phone.

"It wasn't you, De." I remind him.

"Cat, the spell worked. The Mark is gone but we may have a new problem on our hands." Sam speaks up, indicating I'm on speaker.

"The Darkness, I know. Where are y'all?" I ask, changing the subject.

"We're heading back to the Bunker, should be there in a few hours." Dean informs me.

"Is something wrong?" Sam asks, always able to notice things like that.

"Rowena escaped with the Book and Codex, and Cas is under her guard dog spell." I admit.

Dean curses at that. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I respond, leaving out my injuries and the deal.

"We'll be home as soon as we can. Call us if anything happens." Sam instructs, ending the call.

"Yeah, right." I grumble to the empty room. I know for a fact it will be a few days at least before they turn up. "Man this place is a disaster!" I exclaim as I walk into the library after exiting the bathroom where I had tended to my injuries. "Hope they left the food alone, I'm starving!" Walking into the kitchen, I'm met by the disheartening site of the fridge and freezer wide open, the contents scattered across the floor and obviously either stomped on or thrown down. The cabinets have received similar treatment, all the bags and boxes of food ripped open and dumped on the counters.

I sigh in dismay and look down at my stomach. "Looks like we're going out to get something to eat." I tell my swollen belly, the twins kicking once again in response. They've seemed agitated ever since the deal with Rowena. Maybe I should visit that ob/gyn to make sure they're okay after all the falls I've experienced. With that thought, I return to the garage and drive away in Daphne.

The first stop is the local diner we frequent, Annie's. When I enter the small establishment, I get concerned and sympathetic looks from what I know is a variety of bruises on both my face and neck plus my arm in a sling. I must look like the poster child for abuse victims.

"Cat? Where are those charming brothers of yours and why do you look like you lost a fight?" Cheryl, the kind eyed waitress who always waits on us, asks worriedly.

"They're out of town and don't know about all this. I just was in the wrong place at the wrong time." I explain, leaving out any details. While I may like Cheryl, she doesn't need to know everything. I've been coming here for a long time and always sit at the same booth in Cheryl's section.

This is the same diner the boys brought me to back when I first appeared in this dimension. They brought me here often during the lockdown whenever they were home and I even came with Kevin for a while. I was surprised to see that Cheryl was still here when I returned from the woods. Sam and Dean had apparently told her about Kevin while I was gone and she had brought me a free apple pie a la mode.

"Sugar, that seems to be your constant state. Don't think I haven't noticed how often you three have come in with bruises and cuts. It's none of my business what you do, but just be careful." she surprises me with how observant she's been. I guess we should've known this would happen and I'm glad she isn't making a big deal about it.

"I will, Cheryl. It really was just wrong place wrong time. I have horrible luck sometimes." I reassure her.

"Well, I'm guessing the usual, cheeseburger plain and dry with a chocolate shake?" she asks, thankfully dropping the subject. The older blonde has always seemed to treat me a bit like her own child. She's a few years younger than my mom was, so it's actually comforting in a way. I can tell she's still upset that I'm hurt, but she knows me well enough to see how uncomfortable I am with the topic. How would she feel if she knew my brothers did this? Granted they weren't in control of themselves, but she wouldn't understand that.

"Yeah, Cheryl, that sounds good. The little monsters are demanding y'all's good cooking." I chuckle as the twins decide to kick again, wincing when one contacts an internal organ, possibly my bladder.

"Would they like some free pie as well?" she asks, a motherly tone seeping into her voice.

"Cheryl, you don't have to-" I try to protest.

"You've been through a lot. Let me do this for you, sugar." she cuts me off before turning and handing the order over to the cook.

I leave a half hour later with a full belly and a return of my glow. Simple acts of kindness like that really warm my heart. I then make my way out of town, heading to the doctor. When I arrive, I fill out all the necessary paper work and am told to wait in a chair while he finishes up with his current patient. My leg jiggles nervously, betraying my discomfort with being here. I still hate doctors and hospitals, that has never changed over the years.

A nurse calls my name nearly an hour later and I stiffly get up and walk over to her. She leads me to an empty exam room and instructs me to sit on the cushioned table. The paper crinkles as I gingerly sit down, body sore from being thrown around. She proceeds to take my blood pressure and a few other things I barely pay attention to before leaving with the promise that the doctor will be in soon.

"Cat, wasn't expecting to see you again so soon. What seems to be the problem?" Dr. Lee greets as he walks in and approaches me.

"Well as you can tell, I've been a bit...roughed up recently. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. The…attackers…never touched my belly, but I was knocked on the ground a few times." I tell him, stumbling over my story a bit.

"I'm glad you came in. Go ahead and lay back and unbutton your pants while I get the sonogram ready." he instructs me. I do as he says, unbuttoning my pants and laying back before rucking my shirt up past my belly so he has full access.

"Everything seems fine, your babies are healthy." he informs me later as he looks at the screen. I sigh in relief, glad to know they're both okay. I was honestly really worried with how agitated they've been, but maybe that was just from all the excitement. "Would you like to know their sexes?" he questions me. Surprised by his question, my mind races. _Do I want to know? Should I wait for Sam and Dean at least? Should I just wait until they're born? Would it really make a big difference regardless?_ "I think I'd rather wait." I finally answer. I was planning on buying mostly gender neutral stuff anyway so it's not a big deal.

"Well then I guess we're done here. You've been taking your prenatals I hope." he says as he starts wiping the gel off and putting things away.

"Yeah, Sam is keeping me on a pretty strict healthy diet. Between him and whichever baby craves fruits and veggies, I'm doing good." I say in a fake complaining tone as I sit up and adjust my clothing. I only get to eat sweets or what he considers 'junk food' when the cravings hit or when they're gone and will be none the wiser.

"I'm glad to hear it." he chuckles. "Take care of yourself, Cat." With that, he exits and I soon follow behind. When I get home, I decide to take a nap before working on cleaning up the Stynes' mess. Besides my stuff thrown around the room, not too much is damaged. I pick the pillows and bedclothes off the floor and replace them onto the bed before crawling in and falling asleep.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

When the boys return to the Bunker, a few days later than they intended, they're both trying to figure out exactly what happened with the Darkness, or Amara as they now know she's called.

"All right, I still don't understand. I mean, I thought the darkness was a woman, not a child." Sam continues their discussion as they walk down the stairs.

"Well, same here. I don't know. Maybe whatever I saw wasn't real. Maybe it was a vision." Dean replies.

"Vision?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. Pretty weird."

"Yeah, weird with a weird cherry on a weird top." They then catch sight of the mess the Stynes left in the library. "We got to get a maid. But, you know, one with a-a little uniform and really big, uh-" Dean's cut off by the sound of movement behind the mountain of books and their belongings piled on the floor. He and Sam automatically pull out their guns and approach the potential threat.

"Cat? Is that you?" Sam calls, not wanting to frighten their sister if it is her. There's no response, so they round the side of the pile and see a bloody Cas laying on the floor.

"Help me." he groans out.

"Cas? What happened buddy?" Dean asks as he puts his weapon away and approaches his friend.

"Cat said Rowena cast her attack dog spell on you." Sam adds, also sliding his gun back in his waistband. Cas' eyes flash with guilt and pain at the mention of Cat. He feels terrible about how close he came to killing her. Judging by how Sam and Dean are treating him, he knows she hasn't told them and they probably haven't seen her yet.

"Her spell…it's eating away at me. There are times I…I can't control the violent urges. I need your help." he tells them, gritting his teeth as he fights against it.

"Sam? Dean? Are y'all here?" they all hear Cat call from the direction of the kitchen, answering the question of where she was.

"We're over here in the library." Sam calls back to her. They hear the patter of her feet as she strolls over, but the brothers' attention is still focused on Cas.

"Oh, Cas. I didn't hear you come in. Are you okay?" she questions with concern when she sees him, no fear on her face despite what he did to her. Cas can still feel her bone snap under his hand and hear her pleas as he choked the life out of her. He's still haunted by the sight of his hands wrapped around her throat and winces at the dark bruises his fingers left on her pale skin.

"Hey, Cat. Glad you're- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!" Dean shouts, finally turning around and seeing the condition she's in. His outburst causes Sam to turn away too and he is equally shocked by her appearance.

"Cat, what happened after I left? Who did this?" Sam asks icily. His anger and need to seek retribution evident in his stormy features, which are mirrored in Dean's face.

Before she can answer, Cas clears his throat and admits guiltily, "It…it was me." The brothers jerk around sharply, shocked anger radiating from their expressions.

"He was under the spell, it wasn't _him_." Cat defends him fiercely.

"I almost killed you, Cat!" Cas exclaims in disbelief. He can't understand why she would try to protect him. In his mind, he deserves the Winchesters' wrath.

"But you _didn't_. You were able to take control long enough to stop. It's like when Bobby overpowered the demon possessing him or when Sam overcame Lucifer. You can hardly be blamed for what the spell did. Think of it like possession, something a few of us are intimately familiar with." Cat gives a shudder as she says that, brought back to her own possession. She pushes that thought aside and plows on before anyone can interrupt her. "Do you blame the person possessed for what the demon made their body do? That spell _possessed_ you, Cas. Don't beat yourself up for things you couldn't control." she finishes, taking a big gulp of air after her rant is over.

Sam, also regrettably familiar with possession, softens, his anger melting away. "Cat's right, Cas. You never would have laid a hand on her if you were in charge of your actions."

"How can you two just excuse this? He _hurt_ you, Cat. How can you forgive him?" Dean stubbornly holds on to his own anger. He has no idea what it's like to be possessed, though he knows how it feels to lose control. He hasn't forgiven himself for what he did to Cat, so how can he forgive Cas?

"How can you forgive me for attacking you two when I was possessed? How can you forgive me for m-murdering those four guys? How can you forgive me for letting-" Cat counters, but Dean cuts her off.

"That wasn't you, that was the _demon_." he argues.

"Well it wasn't _Cas_ , it was the _spell_. Just like it was the _Mark_ , not _you_ who attacked Cas and I." Cat responds, finally driving her point into his thick skull.

"Okay, fine, but we can't just let him loose. The spell is still digging into him." Dean concedes. Cas ends up passing out before they come up with a plan. They finally decide to cuff him and connect the chain to a steel loop bolted into the ground. Cat runs out and returns with an old grey blanket, wrapping the unconscious angel in its warmth.

"Just so you know, the twins are fine. After I called y'all, I went to see Doc Lee. He checked them over and assured me they're fine. Also, Cheryl may lecture you about leaving me alone. I stopped to eat at the diner since our entire food supply was destroyed. I've spent the past few days cleaning it all up and restocking everything." Cat updates them as she takes a seat at the table where they've started on research.

"I'm glad you're being very responsible about this, but you still lied to us." Sam gives her a stern look over his laptop.

"Huh?" she asks in confusion.

"'I'm _fine_.'" Dean parrots in a mimicry of her voice, tossing his own stern glare her way.

She squirms under their gazes and defensively replies, "Well I was. I am! It wasn't anything I couldn't handle."

"Cat." Sam sighs in exasperation. "You being injured isn't 'fine'." He uses finger quotes on the word 'fine' to emphasize how ridiculous that is.

"Really? I could have sworn that was the Winchester definition 'fine as long nothing is life threatening'." Cat teases, automatically lightening the mood.

"You got us there." Dean chuckles amiably. Neither brother can deny that she's right. They've both done the same as her multiple times. It's a testament to their lifestyle that 'fine' can include injuries.

They all settle in to their individual tasks. Sam and Dean search for Rowena to remove the curse while Cat looks at baby stuff online. She's thankful that they hadn't started working on the nursery yet since the Stynes really did a number on the place. Soon, Cas begins to stir in his seat, drawing all their attentions.

"Nice of you to join the living, Cas" Cat jokes. Dean and Sam start discussing the Darkness, Dean zoning out in the middle of the conversation.

"So that was the last of the neighbors, just like the rest. Dean? Dean!" Sam says, finally snapping Dean out of it.

"Yeah." Dean shakes it off.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

"Just saying we got nothing. No one saw anything unusual going on at the house the day the baby disappeared." Sam finishes what he was saying before Dean got distracted. Cas soon joins the discussion, Cat eavesdropping as she shops, not interrupting.

"I believe he made a fairly definitive statement when he walked away." Cas says as he gets up. He starts to walk over to them, but his chain pulls taut and stops him in his tracks. He pulls out his hands and sees the cuffs secured around his wrists.

"Sorry about those, Cas. Until we know what's going on with you, you're still a bit of a wild card, you know?" Dean apologizes. Sam then brings up pulling Metatron in to help, which Dean objects to strongly. Cas suddenly starts growling and clenching his eyes shut, breathing heavily. "Cas, you all right, pal?" Dean asks.

"It's the spell." Cas replies, still taking labored breaths.

"We were hoping your angel wiring would fight it off or...slow it down at least." Sam tells him.

"It appears I simply respond differently from humans." Cas comments.

"If you were you human, you'd be gone. With you, it's like it's digging deeper." Dean says.

"You know, Rowena's the only one who can remove it." Sam reminds Dean. Neither brother sees Cat flinch at the mention of Rowena. She plans on keeping that little detail as close to the chest as she can. They would just try to break it and she can't let that happen. Rowena was clear about the consequences of doing that.

"We're doing everything to find her, okay? But so far, we got nothing." Dean responds to Sam.

"Well, it's getting worse." Sam observes in a whisper.

*Time Skip*

"You wouldn't think a road trip with two such strapping lads could be this tedious. Shall we have a wee sing-song?" Rowena pipes up from the backseat.

"No!" Sam and Dean reply gruffly and in unison. They're currently hunting down Cas since he disappeared. Cat is unusually quiet in the backseat with Rowena. She had argued until they finally surrendered and let her come, hoping to keep Rowena from giving anything away.

"I have myself to blame. Should never make deals with Winchesters, since they seem unable to hold up their end of the bargain." Rowena sighs dramatically. She strategically leaves out her deal with their youngest, not wanting them to be able to fight it. She's confident her consequences have deterred the young Winchester girl from telling her brothers as she had hoped. Cat jerks as if she was given an electric shock, confirming her theory. Cat shoots a glance at her before facing forward again.

"Meaning what?" Dean asks Rowena, unaware of Cat's reaction.

"Oh, just that thing between Sam, Crowley, and myself." she reveals.

He turns to his brother suspiciously. "What? What's she talking about?"

"Oh, surely, you knew Sam made a deal with me to kill my son if I removed the Mark of Cain from your arm. Well, is the Mark gone? Yes. Is Crowley dead? No. Mm. Oh, he didn't know? He didn't know!" she mocks surprise.

"Look, I was gonna tell you. Obviously, nothing ever came of it, so I-I figured there was no point, you know?" Sam defends himself.

"No point, huh?" Dean asks stonily.

"I-I mean, I see what Dean's saying. Your wee pal Castiel wouldn't be in this pickle if you'd done what you'd promised. I would've had no reason to cast the attack dog spell if Crowley were already dead. Excellent point." Rowena cuts in.

"It's not my point. Sam knows my point. Keyword - secrets." Dean says, expression causing Sam to look properly guilty. Cat also gets a guilty look on her face, but he chalks it up to her hiding her injuries. He completely misses the smirk Rowena directs at Cat, who cringes minutely. She hates keeping secrets, but the risks are too great. She can't allow even a chance that her children will be damned to Hell. She could really care less if it was just her, but her two innocent babes? …It's unimaginable.

After they have Cas back and Rowena escapes, Cat excuses herself to her room claiming she's exhausted. In reality, she's feeling extremely guilt-ridden and knows that if she stays with them, she'll spill everything. It's for this same reason that when they catch a case a few weeks later, she tells them she'll stay home and keep an eye on Cas.

It's such a nice day in June that she sets up a picnic for the two of them in the trees behind the Bunker. Cas is pleasantly surprised and joins her, though he doesn't eat anything. They talk about everything and nothing, just enjoying the good weather. The brothers call that night and she assures them everything is fine before she goes to sleep.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

 **JULY: 10 months left**

At seven months, I've grown considerably. The nursery is completely done, painted, and furnished. The little bookshelf has been steadily filling with various picture books that Sam and Dean collect while out on cases. I've been essentially grounded, unable to drive comfortably with my large belly. I did manage to convince them to hold off on buying any baby clothes until after the twins born, however. I can tell they'll be a handful by how active they are, often keeping me awake by kicking me repeatedly. I've also become pretty dependent on the three men, often struggling to get up without assistance. It's humiliating, but they've been good, never teasing me about it.

Kevin's mom has dropped in a few times, offering advice and helping set up the nursery. She's been a big help to me, calming my fears and telling me her own stories of being a single mother. All of us are relieved at her presence since she is the only one of us who has actually raised a child before. I'm glad the twins will be able to have a grandparent around since my dad's parents were a huge presence in my life. They practically helped raise my sister and I between babysitting, Sunday lunches, sleepovers, and even watching us before and after school while our parents were working. I hope that Linda can be just as important to them.

"Hey, Cat." Sam greets as I waddle into the library. I never actually believed pregnant women _waddled_ until one day that was the only thing I could do. Dean has teasingly called me Mumble a few times, referring to the animated penguin in a movie I made them watch.

"Heya, Sammy. Whatcha up to?" I respond, sinking down into the chair next to him.

"Trying to find a way to defeat the Darkness, the usual." he replies tiredly.

"I think what we all need is a break. Let's go for a short hike! There's a little stream not far from here and everything." I propose excitedly. It would be nice to spend some time with them while not doing research or discussing a case. I haven't gone with them since Cas was healed, not wanting to be cooped up in a car that long, plus I had promised Sam.

"That sounds great, but are you sure you can walk that long?" he questions. I can't really fault him for doubting me as there have been days my back and feet hurt so bad I could barely leave my bed. The wonderful world of being a twin mom.

"I feel pretty good today." I assure him.

"Well let's ask Dean and Cas if they want to join us." he smiles. My face lights up in happiness at a day out with my entire family. Cas has been dropping in every so often to visit and take me to birthing classes, and luckily, he had shown up a few hours ago.

Soon, the four of us are making our way through the trees and across the field. The spot I have in mind is a good ten to fifteen minute hike away in a different copse of trees. "Any news on Amara?" Dean asks Sam and Cas.

"Nuh uh." I stop and turn on them. "This trip is going to be a no hunting zone. Let's just relax for a few hours and enjoy the warm July afternoon."

"Okay, sweetheart. We'll do it your way." Dean agrees. The three of them are slowed down a bit by the picnic stuff they're carrying and I'm not all that quick anymore, so it takes about twenty minutes to reach the stream. When we get there, the boys set everything up in a flat grassy area on the bank. Soon we're chowing down on sandwiches that Dean and Sam put together. I tried to help, but they had me gather everything else we'd need instead.

I packed us some sliced fruit and veggies as well as chips, cookies, and some beer for the boys. I sip my protein shake that Sam insisted I get and crunch on a baby carrot as I look around. The area really is beautiful. There are dandelions, small flowers in all kinds of colors like white and purple, and even a few sunflowers. There are butterflies flitting around and bees buzzing around. In the trees, I can hear a variety of bird songs. Glancing down, I can even see some small fish darting in the shallows of the creek. We also saw a few rabbits and a deer on the hike here.

My bare feet are tickled by the long grass that drapes over the blanket, my boots piled off to the side. I can hear the boys laughing at something, but their voices are just a buzz in the background. My thoughts are running the gambit of sorrow, guilt, fear, excitement, and resignation as I contemplate the future. Thirty weeks, that's how long I've been growing two amazing lives and forty weeks is how long I have left on the world. Forty-four weeks, three days, twenty hours, and twenty four minutes to be specific, but who's counting?

"This is a beautiful spot, Cat. How did you find it?" Cas questions me. His voice shocks me out of my melancholic thoughts and I turn to face them.

"Kevin and I found it like a year ago while exploring the area." I reply, reminiscing on that day. "One of these trees should have our initials carved in it. We thought it would be funny to do something so cliché like that."

At that, the three men spread out to locate our tree. I stay sitting on the blanket and watch them lazily. The warm sunny day is tremendously relaxing and I feel myself getting awfully drowsy. Giving in to it, I curl up on the blanket and drift off.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Found it, Kit-Kat!" Dean calls out, using the nickname she earned after a week of exclusively craving Kit-Kats. He has located the carved 'KT & CW' in a hickory tree a few yards away from their picnic spot. When he looks over to Cat, he sees her snoozing on the blanket. Sam and Cas join him to see his find. "Looks like the warm sun got to Sleeping Beauty over there." Dean informs the other two with an affectionate smile. They all three look over and gaze fondly at the young woman slumbering in the warm sun.

"We should just let her sleep. She told me the twins like to keep her awake a lot." Sam comments.

"Those two are going to be little terrors, I can tell." Dean jokes. "We should move further down the bank so we won't disturb her." They do exactly that, moving far enough their voices won't carry, but still close enough to keep an eye on her.

"Hey Dean, bet you can't catch one of those fish." Sam challenges, laughter in his eyes.

"Oh you're on! Prepare to eat your words, Samantha." Dean rises to the challenge. Soon all three of them are attempting to grab the small slippery fish. They hung up all their extra layers on a nearby tree branch, leaving Sam and Dean in thin t-shirts and Cas in his white button up with the sleeves rolled passed the elbows.

While they're goofing off downstream, Cat remains blissfully asleep, unaware of the danger coming towards her. Disturbed by the guys' antics, it makes its way upstream, hiding in the long grass. It nears the sleeping woman and settles itself in the grass near the blanket, mere feet away from Cat's toes.

The boys give a loud shout as Cas succeeds in catching a fish and is " _accidentally_ " pushed into the stream by Dean. This shout wakes Cat from her nap and she stretches lazily, eyes still closed as she soaks up the sun.

When a bloodcurdling scream pierces the air, Sam, Dean, and Cas freeze in what they're doing, Cas about to pull Dean in with him, and look over to the blanket where the scream originated. They scramble up and run over to where Cat is still laying down and staring at her feet in horror. They follow her gaze and see two small holes on her left foot with a bit of blood welling from them and coiled up in the grass, ready to strike again, a snake.

 _ **A/N: I would like to note that even though I have a HUGE fear of snakes, I was not trying to go along with their bad rep. I'd like to see any snake that wouldn't strike when something touches it unexpectedly, especially this species (to be revealed next time). In case you're curious, the exact time of the deal is 9:47 AM. No real reason, just chose a random time for the countdown. I hope this story isn't dragging or no longer entertaining, a lot going on in my life. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. Ciao!**_


	11. Chapter 11

**That's Life**

In one quick motion, the brothers yank Cat back, out of strike range. Cas then grabs the closest thing to him, a small chip bag, and chunks it at the copper-colored snake and chases it away. "Cas, please tell me that snake wasn't poisonous." Dean pleads, fearing for the young woman cowering in his arms.

"Venomous." Cat gasps shakily, breathing labored. "Venom is injected, poison is ingested."

"Cas? It's not, is it?" Sam prompts when Cas doesn't say anything.

"It was a copperhead, a venomous snake." Cas finally tells them with a bleak look in his eyes. Between the signature coloring and the shape of the head, he's certain he's right.

Dean curses then says, "We need to get her to a hospital ASAP! Cat, can you walk?" he directs down to his shaking sister. They all know of her deathly fear of snakes, he's even had to calm her down a few times when they encountered one on hunts. She shakes her head and he notices that the shaking isn't just terror, but also pain. Her face is screwed up in agony, her jaws clenched so tight he doubts she could've answered verbally if she wanted to. He glances up at his brother and sees that he has his phone out and is typing furiously.

"I'm looking up what the symptoms are so we're prepared." Sam explains, eyes never leaving the screen.

"Copperhead venom is nonlethal." Cas suddenly declares, recalling this fact. He had done some research on North American snakes after discovering Cat's fear. He had hoped to be able to identify a snake and whether it was potentially dangerous to be able to reassure Cat. He had used his knowledge once before when they came across a harmless bull snake in South Dakota. It hadn't done any good since the fear was dug in too deep, but he still retains all that knowledge.

"He's right, but it _is_ extremely painful. It says here that symptoms include bleeding, difficulty breathing, low blood pressure, nausea and vomiting, numbness and tingling, pain at site of bite, shock, skin color changes, swelling, thirst, tiredness, tissue damage, weakness, and weak pulse." Sam reels off from a medical site he found. He winces in sympathy for what she's about to go through.

"Pain, shock, bleeding, check." Dean responds, taking in Cat's pale skin, a sure sign of shock. "Looks like we're carrying her back. Sam, wanna give me a hand?" Sam helps situate Cat in Dean's arms while Cas quickly gathers all their stuff and throws it all haphazardly in the bags they brought. Before they can head back home, Cat suddenly rolls, almost falling out of Dean's arm.

Sam catches her and says, "Cat? You gotta stay still, kitten." She shakes her head then turns a sickly green. Sam just barely registers what's happening and steps to the side, still holding her back, as she empties her stomach, her body fighting the venom in her blood. He holds her long dark hair out of the line of fire while Dean starts softly trying to reassure her.

"You're going to be fine, sweetheart. I know it sucks right now, but just fight through it. We'll get you home and you'll be okay. You gotta hang in there, champ." Dean encourages, trying to reassure himself as much as her. Logically, he knows she won't die, but his emotions are running the show right now and he's downright terrified. The moment he saw the snake coiled up at her feet, his blood had turned to ice.

She finally stops purging her stomach and sags in his arms. Not wasting a second, the three of them walk as fast as they possibly can toward the bunker. "It looks like taking her to a hospital won't do much except get her put on painkillers." Sam reports breathlessly, still researching on his phone as they walk. "They'll want to take her band off and in her state that could just make things ten times worse. I think our best bet is to get her home and wait it out. One of us can make a run for painkillers that will be safe for her."

"I can do that." Cas volunteers automatically. He feels useless in this situation, unable to heal Cat and take away the pain that elicits whimpers and groans as they march steadily on. He's burdened by all their stuff, but it's nothing compared to the weight of guilt he carries. _If only we had stayed with her. If only we hadn't come here. If only…_

His thoughts are shared by the two brothers as well. Each one of them wishing they had done something different, blaming themselves for the pain displayed clearly on a face that, what felt like mere minutes ago, had seemed so happy and content. Dean is huffing for breath, arms weak and sore from Cat's substantial weight before they even reach the field. Sam, seeing how strained his brother is, silently takes Cat from him. Dean shoots him a grateful smile and they continue on, going as fast as they safely can with their precious cargo, trading her off every so often when they grow tired.

Sam gently lays her on her bed and steps back when they finally arrive and she immediately curls up protectively with a pained groan. They aren't sure if she's lucid or not. She barely reacts to their voices except to move closer, groaning when they clean the wound. When she opens her eyes, they're glazed and unfocused.

"Is it supposed to be this bad?" Dean finally asks Sam as they watch Cat writhe on the bed. Cas had left as soon as they arrived, heading to the nearest clinic to lift some morphine. He claimed he knew the safe dosage for her, so the brothers hadn't challenged him.

"Umm they're supposed to be the most painful of pit vipers bites." Sam recites from his research. "She'll have a long night, but when Cas gets back with the morphine we can at least dull it a bit." he continues, worry lacing his voice and shining in his eyes.

Cas soon returns with various painkillers, including morphine. They swiftly have Cat rigged up, a steady drip feeding the narcotics into her veins. She visibly relaxes as the pain coursing through her body is dulled.

When she opens her eyes again, they're still glazed, but this time it's the drug's influence instead of the venom. "Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" Dean questions softly as her dull hazel eyes turn toward him.

"I hate snakes." she mumbles, wincing as she tries to move her left leg. "Ngh, not a good idea." she puffs, sweat gathering on her brow again. Sam reaches over and wipes it off with a cool cloth, having been doing the same action for the past hour or so.

"You should stay still for now." Cas instructs her from the opposite side of the bed where he has kept a silent watch.

"Guess what they say is true." she muses aloud.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asks when she doesn't continue.

"When they say 'third time's the charm'. This was my third snake bite, but the first- agh, venomous one." she informs them, groaning in pain. "Are we- ugh- are we at a hospital? Doesn't feel like one."

"We're in your room in the Bunker. Hospital would've done the same thing we're doing, so we decided not to go." Dean explains to her.

"What about the…the twins?" she gasps as another bolt of pain shoots up her legs like an electric shock.

"The proteins of the copperhead's venom are too big to cross the placental wall. Your babies won't be affected by it." Cas reassures her.

"Thanks professor. Where the hell are you anyway? Come over where I can see you." Cat demands, needing to see the truth in his face. As he comes around into her view, her fear abates. She can see the calm assurance on Cas' face that, yes, her kids will be fine. "Thank God!" she breathes out in relief. "How uhh…how bad is it?" she asks, gesturing toward her foot.

Dean reaches over and pulls the sheets back, revealing her swollen and slightly discolored foot. She's had swollen feet before, that being a prime symptom of pregnancy, but not this bad. The foot is nearly twice the size of her other foot. It has a bruise colored tinge to it, but as far as they can tell, it isn't infected or anything. "You'll live." he reports jokingly as he moves the sheets back over it. "Probably won't be able to walk on it for a while though."

"Thanks, doc. Any chance there's some water in here? I'm parched!" Cas runs to get her a glass while Sam and Dean help her to sit up. After she drinks about half the glass, she collapses back on the bed and is quickly out. The boys tuck her back in and resume their watch, feeling heartened by how normal she seemed minus the few pained moans and groans.

Cat's down from the snakebite for a while, unable to do certain things without assistance. The three men are mesmerized when they discover they can actually _see_ the twins moving under her stretch-marked skin. Normally she wears the biggest shirts she can, so they haven't had the chance to witness it until they're helping her into the tub. She seems self-conscious about it, so they all refrain from commenting.

After about two weeks, the swelling has finally gone all the way down and she's able to walk. All three of her brothers had pampered her, or smothered if you asked her, the entire time. She is relieved when she can finally get around by herself, at least as much as she was able to before.

Her 23rd birthday is celebrated with cake, pie, burgers, and baby gifts. They decide to make it a baby shower as well since so many of their friends and family would be coming. If she seems a bit subdued during the festivities, no one notices. She has to remind herself that this is her last birthday, that next year she will be nothing but a memory. She stealthily wipes a tear before pasting her smile back on when the three men, Charlie, Jody and the girls, and Ms. Tran all walk in, singing and bearing a homemade strawberry cake, a family tradition she had told Cas about, with a few candles lit.

 **AUGUST: 9 months left**

While she may have fully recovered from the bite, her large belly still prevents her from being completely independent and even causes her to lose certain privileges, such as cooking.

"Come on, Sam! Nothing happened and I caught it right before Dean did! I was already moving before he grabbed me." Cat whines as Sam confiscates the pot that she had been filling with water to make macaroni and cheese.

"You almost burned yourself on the stove, Cat." he reminds her patiently.

"So I'll just use a front burner. Problem solved!" she negotiates with him.

"Just let me take care of this and you relax at the table." Sam chides, shooing her away and setting the pot to boil.

Cat waddles away as she grumbles, "More like ruin it." It's no secret that Sam isn't the best cook, but Cat gives in and takes a seat at the table. She hates that Dean happened to be there the day her concentration slipped for just a few seconds. She had been good about being aware of her girth, but when she had leaned over to taste the sauce simmering on the stove's back burner, she had almost leaned too far. Luckily, she had felt the heat from the recently turned off front burner and began backing up to avoid injury.

It was at that precise moment when Dean had barreled over and dragged her away. She had tried to defend herself as she was lectured about safety, but he wouldn't listen and sent her out while he finished dinner. After that, she was banned from cooking or anything dealing with the stove in general.

As predicted, Sam undercooks the pasta so she has to chew extra hard to eat it. Dean comes in and grabs a bowl after Sam leaves. He takes a bite and grimaces before saying, "Sam made this, didn't he?"

"Yup. This is what happens when you decide I'm forbidden from cooking." Cat says pointedly.

"Hey, it's only for like a month. We'll make sure to leave food that doesn't require a stove whenever we leave on a case." he responds sympathetically. He knows she's mad at them for that, but he had nearly had a heart attack when he saw how close she was to the glowing red burner.

"Oh yeah, because I can't drive either." she grumbles sullenly.

"Sweetheart, if you can't fit behind the wheel then you can't drive. You can't blame us for that one." he reminds her. At thirty-four weeks, she looks like she swallowed a planet and is extremely grumpy about that fact. Dean had teased her about it once and she had nearly bitten his head off. He blames it on hormones, but is smart enough to never say that where she can hear, he values his life too much for that.

On August 31st, thirty-eight weeks into her pregnancy, Cat's water breaks. She was already on bed rest as the pain had become too much for her. The brothers had taken pity on her and set up a TV of her own in her room so that she could watch Netflix on a screen bigger than her laptop. She's laughing at something on the screen when she feels the dampness soaking her bed. " _Crap_. SAM! DEAN!" she shouts anxiously.

It's late in the night, Cat having been kept awake by cramps and the twins' restless movements. When there is no response, she remembers that they were on a case with Sully and wouldn't be back until that morning. Cat liked Sully and after they had headed out, she ate most of the sweets that had appeared in the kitchen. They had been reluctant to leave her alone, so Charlie had come over during that time to keep an eye on her. Unfortunately, she had to leave around midnight for an emergency involving her girlfriend so Cat was alone and about to go into labor.

"Shit, shit, shit." she curses as she frantically searches for her phone. She finally finds it under her pillow, but it's dead and she had loaned the charger to Charlie so it could be anywhere in the Bunker. She groans as the first contraction ripples through her, her panic escalating when she realizes she has no way to contact anyone. "Hold on babies. Stay in there until your uncles get here." she pleads with the two lives that are eagerly trying to enter the world.

None of them had expected the twins for at least a few more weeks, but they had been aware that it could happen at any moment. Having read that twins and multiples are often early, Cat had been doing as much as she could to prevent a premature birth. Luckily, they're past that danger at this point so she has a little less to worry about as she tries to time her contractions in her head.

Nearly eight hours later, she hears the entrance of her brothers. The contractions have been far enough apart that she hasn't gone into active labor, something she's thankful for. "DEAN! SAM!" she shouts as loud as she can before another contraction rocks through her and takes her breath away.

It passes as she hears the thundering feet of the two men rushing down the hall. "Cat, what's wrong?" Sam questions, both men having their guns drawn and scanning the room.

"They're coming." she gasps, beyond terrified.

"What?! They aren't due for a few more weeks!" Dean exclaims, scrambling to put his gun away and grab his phone. "How far away are you?" he says as soon as the other person picks up. He listens to the response then says, "You better haul ass back here, they're coming."

While Dean talks to Cas, Sam puts his gun away and walks over to Cat. "You can still go to a hospital." She had opted for a home birth after realizing that the hospital would make her remove the band and most likely kill all three of them. Cas had agreed to help and serve as the midwife. He had taken her to birthing classes after Rowena's spell was lifted and read up on everything he needed to know. Home birthing twins had all kinds of potential complications, but Cat had been resolute.

"No, I've been having contractions for eight hours. Where's Cas?" she asks.

"He's just an hour away." Dean relays, listening to Cas on the other end. "He says that you should get everything ready and he'll be here as soon as he can." Upon hearing this, Sam quickly walks into the next room and grabs the inflatable pool before hurrying back to the room. Grabbing the long section of tubing from the closet, he connects it to the sink and drops the other end in the pool. As it fill, he monitors the temperature with a thermometer so it won't be too hot or cold. Cas decided that Cat should spend her labor in water, but delivery will happen on some sterile towels laid out next to the birthing pool.

While Sam deals with the set-up, Dean calls Ms. Tran, who promises to show up the next day. Not thirty minutes later, Cas flies in, looking out of breath. "I came as fast as I could." he pants.

"Cat says the contractions started eight hours ago." Dean tells him from where his hand is currently being crushed by Cat as she rides one out. They're both in the pool, Dean having volunteered to be the "birthing partner" for her.

"Have you been timing them?" Cas responds, washing his hands in the little sink after removing his layers and rolling his sleeves up.

"Yeah." Sam confirms from his position on the other side of the pool. He has the blue stopwatch in his hand and is watching Cat intently. "They're still in the pre-labor area, about twenty seconds long and eight minutes apart so far."

Cas nods and begins to check over Cat. It isn't until another eight hours later that she's having contractions that are a minute long and about four minutes apart for nearly an hour. Recognizing this as being the indication of active labor, Cas instructs them to move her to the towels before she has to start pushing. At 11:11 PM, nearly twenty hours after her water broke, Cat gives birth to the first baby.

"Meet your son." Cas says tenderly as he hands the newly cleaned off and swaddled infant to the exhausted mother. "He's a healthy 7 pounds and 9 ounces." She doesn't make a sound, but her expression says everything. She already loves her little one so much.

Dean quickly whips his phone out and snaps a few pictures, knowing the newly minted mom will want to have them. She has to surrender the infant to Sam soon as the other twin tries to enter the world. Sam reluctantly lays him down in a crib before returning to witness the next birth.

 **SEPTEMBER: 8 months left**

At 12:12 AM, her daughter, 6 pounds 12 ounces, pushes her way into the world. Dean holds her as Cat stares blearily, too exhausted to do much more than smile before falling fast asleep. Sam takes the pictures this time, Dean's hands being full of the tiny baby girl. Cas cleans everything up and tucks Cat back into her bed as the brothers take the infant to the nursery.

"He has Kevin's eyes, but I'm not sure about her." Sam comments as they gaze down at the tiny humans in the cribs. The blue eyes of the girl perplex them both seeing as Kevin's and Cat's eyes are brown or hazel.

"Yeah, but she definitely has the face of her mom. I'm glad they aren't _identical_ twins, because that would be confusing." Dean responds, looking down into a face that holds so much of Cat. The boy is more like Kevin, which he knows Cat noticed by the bittersweet smile she had while holding him.

"I wonder what she'll name them. She's never even mentioned possible names." Sam muses as he adjusts the turquoise blanket with foxes on it over the baby girl. The boy has a tan blanket covered in little white owls. Cat had loved the nature theme and everything has some plant or animal on it, there are even little prints of various animals decorating the sky blue walls while a soft grass green rug covers the floor.

"I think she wanted to see them first. We'll let her rest for now and bring it up later. I don't know about you, but I'm beat!" They turn on the baby monitor and Dean snags the other one from Cat's room. Cas nods in appreciation as he connects an IV to Cat's arm. He'll stay in her room and monitor her to make sure there aren't any after-birth complications. He had been a huge asset in the birth, helping guide the second baby, who was delivered breech instead of head first like her twin.

In the morning, Sam and Dean bring the twins in to see Cat since she's still weak and sore from the birth. She tears up happily as she holds both of them in her arms, Dean taking some more pictures of the tender scene. "Hey you two, I'm your mommy!" she coos at them. The three men look on, unwilling to interrupt such a precious moment. Each infant is wearing a little cap, one a panda and the other a shark. There are a myriad of animal caps in the nursery, Cas having gone a bit crazy at the baby shower.

"Have you thought of names for the little rugrats?" Dean asks finally as they all come over to see the happy family.

She looks up and smiles beatifically at him. "I have. Meet Tristan Amos and Willow Temperance." she tells them. She had come up with a variety of possible names, but those had been her top picks for a boy and a girl. Each name has a deeper meaning to her than anyone would be able to figure out unless they looked really hard.

"Those are beautiful names, Cat." Cas says with a smile. Sam and Dean nod in agreement.

"Welcome to the family Tristan and Willow." Dean beams.

"Hey, Cat? We were wondering uhhh…if you know why Willow has blue eyes." Sam finally asks the question that's been on his mind since that night.

"Oh, runs in the family. Dad and sister both had them." she explains easily. She was happy that her daughter inherited that trait, having always been jealous of her sister's eyes.

While Cat continues to recover, the boys are on baby duty. Dean is only marginally better than Sam at changing diapers, having had experience doing it in the past. They're both relieved when Ms. Tran shows up and coaches them through the next set of dirty diapers.

That night, Cat recaptures the baby monitor from Dean's room and consequently gets woken up repeatedly to feed, change, and rock her babies to sleep. She's surprised at how easily it all comes to her, having to merely be a spectator as her brothers and Ms. Tran cared for her children. They had protested her decision to take the monitor, claiming she still needed to rest, but she has a stubborn streak a mile long so they finally gave in.

When Dean finds himself awake around 3 AM, he decides to peek into the nursery. He'd felt a swell of protectiveness the moment little Willow was placed in his arms. He knows that he would do anything to protect his little niece and nephew. Only two days old and they already have him wrapped around their little fingers.

As he approaches the slightly ajar door to the nursery, he can hear Cat's melodious voice singing softly. Creeping up quietly, he nudges the door open enough to look in, glad they had oiled the hinges so they wouldn't squeak. He sees Cat, with the twins in her arms, rocking as she sings to her children.

 _My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too. Yeah, this, is my wish_

Dean grimaces a bit at Cat's chosen song, not being a fan of country. She isn't either, but apparently, Rascal Flatts is one of the exceptions due to the connection to her childhood or something. As he stands and listens, she switches to a new song.

 _Come stop your crying, it will be alright. Just take my hand and hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you. I will be here, don't you cry._

He smiles and slowly makes his way back to his room. Despite her insistence to the contrary, they all knew she'd be a wonderful mother. He won't soon forget the pure love he saw in her eyes as she sang to the twins, looking like she never wanted to let them go. He silently makes a promise to make sure that never happens. She's been through so much and finally something wonderful has happened. He vows to prevent anything from tainting the happiness of his family. Amara had better keep her ass _far away_ from them.

 _ **A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting. There was a death in the family plus finals are next week which means papers are all due this week. I will try to get the next chapter up after finals for y'all.**_

 _ **Explanation of Names: Tristan was her way of incorporating Tran as well as sneaking in the Latin word for grieve, to represent her grief for Kevin. Amos is made of the Latin word for cherish or love. Willow symbolizes weeping or sorrow, as in her sorrow that she'll soon be gone. Lastly, Temperance is her way of working in the Latin word for time, something that is steadily running out.**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Stayin' Alive**

"I think you're strong enough to remove the warding if you'd like." Cas tells Cat a week later as they're bottle feeding the twins. They had held off until they were sure she had fully recovered for the exhausting birth. The removal will be hard on her, so they wanted to give her the best chance she'd have to fight through it.

"Oh, uhhh I'm not sure if…I mean it's not a big…I think I'd rather…" she stammers, unable to say what she wants.

"The longer you keep it on, the worse the removal will be." Cas reminds her, sussing out what she's trying to say.

"I'm aware, but I don't know. I've gotten pretty used to being just _human_ , ya know?" she replies. Truthfully, she's afraid he will somehow _see_ the deal, as if it's a brand on her soul. There's also the lost time as she isn't under any false impression that it will all go smoothly. She has past experience to back that up and she doesn't want to lose even one second with her precious family.

"Cat, to deny your powers is to deny yourself. Do you really hate them that much?"

"No! I just-" she starts then takes a deep breath before starting again. "Fine, better to just rip the band aid off, right?" she sighs in resignation. She can only hope for the best at this point.

"Yes, I believe that's the correct expression. We can do it after we finish up here. Sam and Dean are in the library if you'd like to let them know what's going on."

"Okay. Looks like Tristan is finished anyway." Cat replies as she pulls the bottle back and lifts little Tristan up to her shoulder, burping him before placing him back in his crib. She adjusts his black dragon hat before walking timidly to the library.

"Hey, Kit-Kat. How are the little monsters?" Dean greets as she strolls over to them.

"They're doing good. I came to tell y'all that the band is coming off today, Cas says I'm ready." Their smiles falter a bit at that. They've been worried about this moment since the very day Cas explained the danger of removing it.

"O-Okay, Cat." Sam stutters. "We'll call Charlie so she can take care of the kids."

"Thanks, guys. I'm glad I have y'all to help." she says graciously before turning and walking out, a nearly unnoticeable shiver running through her at what's to come.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

As I make my way to my room, my heart races. Fuzzy memories of the time I manifested haunt me, nipping at my heels and urging me to turn back. With a final deep breath, I walk into my room where Cas is waiting. I can hear Sam and Dean trailing behind me, their footfalls echoing in the deathly quiet Bunker. Even the baby monitor on the side table is eerily silent. It all adds up to a very ominous atmosphere as I mechanically crawl into my bed, left arm exposed to the room where the dark band glints in the lamp light. Knowing I will most likely be incapacitated as soon as it's removed, I made sure to place myself somewhere I'll be comfortable.

After Sam and Dean enter the room, Cas approaches where I'm laying on the bed. His face is solemn with the knowledge of how much pain I will soon be in. None of them wants me to have to go through this, but it has to be done. Tired of the suspense, I speak up. "Please, just get it over with." I plead, hands shaking in fear. If I didn't know how much pain this will cause, I'd be embarrassed by how terrified I am for something as simple as removing jewelry.

I watch Cas' eyes fill with resolve as he reaches over and grasps the band in his hand. With a flick of the wrist, the warding is gone. At the exact second it's removed, I hear a ringing in my ears. It quickly grows from annoying to painful to excruciating. A bright light floods the room and it takes me a minute to realize it's _me_. I can hear shouts and someone screaming as fire pours through my veins. I can feel myself starting to overheat as my powers flow back through my body, fighting to regain their old balance.

For hours, I feel like I'm being roasted alive. I keep praying to blackout and let my body sort it out, but I remain unbearably conscious. I barely register what's going on around me or done to me. My body recognizes cool water, but my mind is occupied by hallucinations. I see Kevin telling me to hold on, to fight it. I see my mom saying how proud she is. I even see what must be older versions of my children saying how much they need me to beat this. Occasionally I can hear muffled voices worrying about how hot I am, but finally, I black out.

When my temperature drops to normal, I manage to open my eyes and see the worried expression currently furrowing Cas' brow. "Hey, Feathers. Looks like you were right about waiting." I croak. My mouth feels like a desert and I can feel a thin film of sweat coating my body as a testament to the hell I just went through.

"How do you feel?" he asks, face lighting up a bit at the sound of my voice. He hands me a glass of water and I drain half of it before replying.

"Like my insides were flame broiled. Is it over?"

"I'm not sure. You should still wait a few hours before trying to get up, just in case." he instructs, handing me some painkillers for the aches plaguing my body. He adjusts the IV they must have connected to me and fusses with a few things on the nightstand.

"Are Sam and Dean with the twins? How long was I out this time?" I question as I wait for the pills to take effect.

"Yes, they and Charlie are entertaining Tristan and Willow in the library. You've been unresponsive for about three days now. Charlie has been here about that long watching the twins while Sam and Dean helped me stabilize you. You had an extremely bad reaction and your fever spiked up past lethal for humans. It's a miracle you survived." he says bluntly.

"Oh trust me, I remember that quite well. One doesn't easily forget the feeling of roasting in their own skin. I'm glad it's over though. It was definitely more intense than last time if I remember correctly."

"Yes, Sam and Dean both observed that as well. Will you be okay while I go tell them you're awake?" he asks me, eyeing me like I could relapse at any moment. It makes me wonder how bad it was and what I must look like to garner that reaction.

"Yeah, Cas. I'll be fine for a few minutes." I reply. He nods and is about to leave when my stomach grumbles loudly. "Any chance I can get some food?"

"Of course, Cat." he then turns a seriously intimidating glare at me. "No getting out of bed. You're still recovering."

"Yes, sir." I salute weakly. My lame attempt of a joke is rewarded with a smile and a fond headshake before he disappears down the hall. I push myself up into a reclining position and have to fight a wave of dizziness and nausea at the movement. "I'm getting really tired of this." I grumble as the room settles again. I close my eyes and relax against the pillows as I wait for Sam and Dean's inevitable worrying.

As I lay there, I begin to get cold. Wincing at the movement, I manage to get myself back under the covers. They must have just laid me on top of them to keep me cooler. Even huddled under the covers I'm shivering. I remember putting a fluffy blue blanket in my closet, that should definitely help me warm up. Disregarding Cas' instructions, I slowly pull myself up to a sitting position and swing my legs off the bed. With a great deal of effort, I manage to get to my feet. When I take my hand off the wall to take a step, I almost fall to the floor as my weak legs give out. It's only the appearance of Dean that saves me, his arms catching me at the last second.

"Whoa, what are you doing out of bed?" he exclaims as I stand there, shivering violently in his arms. "Sweetheart? What's wrong?" he questions as he notices how hard I'm shaking.

"C-c-cold." I stutter between my chattering teeth. It feels like the room has dropped below freezing and I'm only clad in a thin tank and shorts. I raise my trembling hand and point to the closet. "B-blanket." He lays me back down on the bed as Sam enters the room.

"Hey Sam, could you grab the blanket from Cat's closet and turn the thermostat back up? Cat is freezing!" Dean says worriedly as I begin to lose feeling in my body, everything going numb as liquid nitrogen flows through my veins, turning my body into a block of ice. He rummages through my dresser and returns with sweats and my Ravenclaw hoodie, a birthday gift from Charlie. "Here, put these on." he says to me as he tries to hand the clothes over. My arms won't cooperate and I begin to panic.

"I-I c-can't move." Dean curses in worry and begins to slide the clothes on for me. I cry out in agony as every touch to my bare skin feels like I'm being branded with a red hot iron.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart, but we have to get you warmed back up."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

As soon as Dean finishes dressing Cat in the warmer clothes, he and Sam start piling all the blankets they can find on top of her. Cas sees them in the hall with blankets in their arms and asks, "What are you two doing? Is Cat okay?" He has a tray with soup, crackers, and OJ in his hands that he was about to deliver to Cat.

"She's freezing, Cas. There is actually frost on her skin. We're grabbing whatever we can to warm her up." Sam huffs as he rushes back to the young woman's side. Cas drops the tray and it crashes to the ground. The glass and bowl shatter as crackers are scattered across the floor, soaking in the puddle of chicken soup and juice. He doesn't even notice as he practically runs into the room and sees a very blue Cat laying deathly still, her eyes closed. The only way he can tell she's alive is the very shallow and slow rise and fall of the blankets over her chest.

"When did this start?" Cas questions Dean as he goes to put his fingers on her forehead to check her over.

"She was already shivering violently when I came in after you told us she was awake." Dean sighs, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. He then sees that Cas is about to touch Cat. He lunges and grabs his wrist. "You can't touch her. Any skin on skin will literally burn her."

Cas looks down and notices the simple leather gloves on Dean's hands and when Sam returns he sees the same thing. Sam tosses him a pair as well saying, "Put these on if you plan on touching her." Cas quickly slips them on then turns to question the brothers.

"Do you have an electric blanket or any hot water bottles? She won't be able to survive much longer unless she gets warmed up. She's already getting frostbite." He can see where the tips of her ears are beginning to look frostbitten and it worries him. He thinks he knows why there's a sudden change in her internal temperature. The power struggle is still raging inside her and the heat is the demon blood winning while the cold is the Grace. He tells the brothers as much while they all do what they can to warm up the human popsicle in the bed.

"Shouldn't the Grace heal her, not freeze her to death?" Sam puzzles.

"It's like yin and yang, her body can only safely contain the two powers if they are in perfect harmony. Until that happens, she may experience a lot of sudden temperature swings. She needs to be under constant supervision from now on." Cas explains.

They grow more and more frustrated as everything they try seems to have no effect on the frost that has been steadily creeping across Cat's skin. She hasn't moved or made a single noise in hours, not even when Dean's bare arm brushed her cheek. She now has an angry red burn in that same spot as well as a few on her legs and arms from Dean dressing her. It was this that clued them into the affect skin contact has on her and inspired the gloves.

"Maybe if skin contact can burn her then body heat will warm her. We can make sure all our skin is covered so we don't burn her. What have we got to lose, we've tried everything else we could think of." Sam suggests. He grabs a flannel from his room then climbs in with Cat. He's instantly sweating from all the layers and it really puts into perspective just how deadly this could be for his little sister. He scoots over until he's flush against her, his arm draped across her as he rests his head on her chest.

She's so cold he begins to cool off and feels like he's cuddling an ice cube. "Hey, I think some of the frost is melting!" Dean exclaims hopefully. He's glad they finally have made some progress and he's proud of his brother for thinking of it. Realizing that if one human heater is helping then two would be even better, Dean grabs his own flannel before joining them, mirroring Sam's position.

It takes an entire day for their sister to thaw out, but she never regains consciousness before plunging into another extreme fever. The three men do all they can to keep her temperature stabilized over the week. Charlie and Ms. Tran care for the twins while their hands are full with the bipolar-like symptoms. Cat is never fully lucid during this time, but they can hear her mumble things that make it seem like she's talking to someone. Sometimes she would jerk up with a scream and sob uncontrollably before sinking back under. Having comforted her many times, the brothers recognize that she's having nightmares, but nothing they say ever seems to make it through the fog in her mind.

When she is at her least sensitive, Cas will check her over and monitor her powers and the damage they're causing inside her. So far nothing life threatening has been done to her, her Grace constantly working to heal her even as it tears her apart. None of them have gotten much, if any rest and the only time they eat or drink anything is when Linda, as she insists they call her, brings them some and makes sure they eat it. She always gives them updates on the twins and receives updates on Cat. She tells them the twins are being really fussy, almost like they can sense their mother's distress.

When Cat is finally stable for a few hours, it has been almost eight days since the warding was removed. It takes yet another day before she begins to regain consciousness, although she's never fully awake and never for very long. The morning of day ten, she finally opens her eyes.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

The first thing I become aware of is the tingling, like when your foot falls asleep except it's my entire body. Next is the pain, like being assaulted by a crazed acupuncturist. It feels like a million tiny needles are stabbing me and I quietly moan in pain, dragging my eyelids open. I'm confused by the extremely lack of needles except the one taped on my right hand. I try to move my head but it feels like a block of concrete, heavy and awkward. It's about that time I begin to hear a ringing that slowly lowers to a murmur before I can finally make out words.

"She should have woken up by now. Cas said she was completely stabilized and it was just a matter of time, but that was two days ago!" The voice sounds familiar, but I'm too exhausted and out of it to place it.

"I know, Dean, but we just have to be patient. She just went through a week of Hell and her body needs time to heal. Cas said her powers evened out but couldn't completely heal her until they recovered. She has to heal normally for now and I can't imagine it's easy." So it was Dean, that means he was probably talking to Sam. I wonder who the poor girl they're talking about is, sounds like she went through quite an ordeal. I should probably ask them what happened, since everything is fuzzy after Cas was getting ready to remove the band.

When I try to speak, all that comes out is a dry rasp and then a coughing fit. It feels like glass shards are in my throat, the coughs extremely painful and I can feel tears drip down my face. "Shit, sweetheart, calm down and take deep breathes." Dean coaches as I start to hyperventilates from the coughing fit. I follow his instructions and the pain recedes as my breathing evens out. He then helps prop me up into a reclining position, my head tilting to the side as it still feels too heavy to move. I can't seem to move anything except my lips and eyes, which confuses me. What the hell happened to me?

"Here, Cat." Sam says as he holds a glass of water with a straw in it up to my mouth. I weakly wrap my lips around the straw and take a few sips of water before he pulls it away again. Dean has left the room so it's just me and Sam. The water makes it easier to speak so I decide to ask the most important question I can think of.

"Twins?" I gasp out, unable to form a sentence but hoping he will understand.

"Tristan and Willow are just fine. Charlie and Linda took care of them while you were out and we were helping you." he smiles reassuringly. While I was out? Why were they helping me? Why can't I function normally?

"Out?" I question breathlessly, finding it hard to talk and breathe at the moment.

His smile falls and his eyes sadden as he tells me, "You've been unconscious for about ten days now. The warding removal caused a huge surge in your powers and their fight to balance out nearly killed you a few times." Vague memories start to filter to the surface of my thoughts. Burning, freezing, excruciating pain, hallucinations, and a reaper visit.

"Reaper." I sigh, acknowledging that I really had come close.

"You saw a reaper?" Sam asks in alarm and I hum and affirmative, unable to even nod. It had been a different lady and she said her name was Billie. According to her, I still had to keep living, something about friends in high places and special orders. Reapers are notoriously cryptic so I have no idea what she meant by that.

I see Cas walk in followed by Dean, he must have went to tell him I was awake. The hope on his face turns to joy when he sees me and I give a weak smile in greeting. I already feel exhausted and can feel the pull of sleep, talking having worn me out.

The next time I wake up, I can move my head and turn to see Cas staring at me intently. "Hey, feathers." I croak in greeting. He smiles and hands me a glass of water. I try to grab it, but my hands are shaking so much I almost spill it before he places his hands over mine and helps me guide it to my mouth. He pulls it back and I let go after half of it is drained.

"Would you like to see the twins? Sam said you were asking about them yesterday." he asks me.

I groan at that. "I slept all day?"

"It will take time to heal, Cat. Your body will need rest to do that."

"Great, more bedrest. Yes, I would like to see my babies while I'm still awake." I answer. He nods and exits the room. I lay my head back and close my eyes as I wait to see my little monsters. I trust Charlie and Linda to have taken good care of them, but that doesn't mean I can't worry about them.

I hear, "Looks like mommy is still tired." and open my eyes. Apparently I dozed off because I never heard them enter. Sam and Dean are each holding a twin while Charlie and Linda cast apprehensive looks my way. The brothers look concerned as well.

"I must look like death warmed over with all the looks I get." I rasp in greeting.

"Glad to hear your melodious voice again." Dean jokes as Linda grabs my glass and lifts it to my lips so I can take a few more sips. The twins look so cute in their moose and squirrel hats and I swear they have grown since the last time I saw them. I chuckle as I take in the fact that Tristan, with his antlers, is in Sam's arms and Willow, in her fuzzy grey hat, is in Dean's.

"I see you've embraced your nicknames, Moose and Squirrel." I grin.

They grimace and Sam says, "Charlie made us. She said it would cheer you up, which it obviously did."

"Mission accomplished." Charlie winks at me.

"Well are you going to just stand there or let me see my kids?" I ask. They chuckle at my eagerness and set the twins in my lap, hovering in case I need help since I'm still very weak.

"How were they while I was out?" I ask, gesturing with my head at the twins.

"They seemed to be able to sense something was wrong. They were really fussy and restless until a little bit before Cas came to tell us you were awake." Charlie tells me since she and Linda were in charge of them during most of that time.

"Sorry that was your first experience with them. They're usually little angels." I apologize. Linda had already seen them not long after their birth, but this was the first time Charlie had been over since the night I went into labor.

"They're cute little jellybeans." she coos and I can tell she's already attached to them.

"That mean you're up for babysitting some times?" I question hopefully.

"Absolutely!" she beams.

"She was really good with them. She even brought them some clothes since you had insisted on waiting until they were born and we had our hands full." Sam tells me with a hint of disapproval at that decision, though that's nothing new. We had bought a few basic outfits, but I wanted to get the cute stuff when I knew their genders.

I must have been out of it to not notice the cute little Doctor Who and Harry Potter onesies they're wearing. "Thanks, Charlie! They're so cute!" I gush, the tiny TARDISes, sonic screwdrivers, glasses, owls, and magic wands looking adorable on the blue and the cream outfits.

"There's a lot of nerdy ones in the nursery, I couldn't resist." Charlie responds happily, pleased by my approval.

"Awesome! Maybe I can look at them in a few hours when Doc Cas lets me out of bed." As if uttering his name summoned him, he enters the room with a familiar tray loaded with crackers, some sort of soup, and orange juice. "Never thought I'd get tired of people bringing me food in bed." I grumble.

Sam and Dean take the twins back so that Cas can set the tray over my lap. Turns out the soup is chicken noodle, the only kind I can tolerate since I'm really not a soup person. "I expect you to eat a few of the crackers, at least half of the soup, and all the orange juice. You need to build your strength back up." he lectures. Not having the energy to argues, I dutifully sip the soup and crunch a few crackers as I'm updated on everything that happened.

I've fully recovered in three days, my powers finally healing me and the rest of the month passes in a blur of finally buying outfits for the twins and waking up at all hours of the night to take care of the little monsters.

"You look like crap, sweetheart. Have you even slept or eaten in the last week?" Dean comments as I shuffle into the kitchen one morning a few weeks after the power ordeal. I ignore him in favor of pouring a mug of coffee. He raises his eyebrow and says, "You don't even like coffee. Are you okay?"

"Sacrifices must be made." I mumble with a yawn. Two weeks of hardly any sleep is getting to me. While I may have the angelic ability to heal quickly, the need to sleep is still annoyingly present.

"Sure thing, sweetheart. You know, if you're exhausted, Sam and I can help with the night shift. You don't have to do everything by yourself. You've stretched yourself so thin trying to do everything for your kids, we're worried about you." Dean expresses, his eyes searching mine as if he can't understand why I do this to myself.

"I'm okay, just need some caffeine and I'll be good to go." I wave off his offer, unwilling to give up even a moment. He sends me the most unimpressed 'I-can-see-through-your-bullshit' face in response, then Sam walks in.

"Cat, why are you drinking coffee? I thought you wouldn't drink it unless 'Hell froze over and was overrun by flying pigs'." he says as his eyes widen.

Before I can respond, Dean cuts in. "The twins are keeping her up but she refuses to accept our help." I shoot him a dirty look as Sam turns his 'stop-being-stubborn-and-let-us-help' frown on me.

"Cat, you look like a light breeze could knock you over. You need some sleep. Let us take care of Tristan and Willow tonight. We can set up a rotation of who gets the baby monitor at night so no one is too drained. In your state, you probably can't even fly; much less react if something happens."

"They're my children and therefore my responsibility. I can't just pass that off for my own selfish needs." At that moment I can hear Willow's high pitched whimpering coming from the monitor in the pocket of my robe. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go change a diaper."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

The brothers watch as their zombified sister stumbles up the steps and towards the nursery. "Okay, this has to stop. Look at her!" Dean exclaims after they hear the door shut behind her.

"I agree, but how can we help if she won't let us? I don't understand why she insists on doing everything herself." Sam sighs, frustrated.

"Do you think this is about Kevin? Like she's trying to prove herself to him?"

"That might be part of it, but I feel like she's hiding something. I've caught her looking at the twins with regret and sadness when she thinks she's alone. I know she loves them fiercely, so it must be something else."

"Now that you mention it, I've noticed stuff like that too, even before the twins were born. Stray tears, flinches when anything about the future was mentioned, and I've seen her mask more these past few months than the past few years. Something is up, and I don't like it."

"Well now's not the time to ask, the poor girl is about to collapse. What we _can_ do is make her take care of herself." Sam proposes.

Dean makes Cat's favorite pancakes, ones with chocolate chips and blueberries, and grabs a tray. He fills it with a glass of juice, syrup, whipped cream, a bowl of fruit, and a few of the fluffy cakes. Together they go to find Cat and make sure she actually eats. Between the power surge ripping into her body and her obsession with catering to the twins, she's become incredibly thin and pale.

They find her rocking Tristan as she sings a soft lullaby version of 'Carry On Wayward Son'. She looks half-asleep and Sam gently takes Tristan from her arms, causing her to startle and try to fight him off. Dean watches sadly as the once strong and deadly woman weakly tries to hit his brother.

"Cat it's okay, it's just Sam." he soothes as he approaches with the tray. She blinks and drops her hands with a mumbled 'sorry'. Dean takes this as his cue and sets the tray in her lap. "Eat up, princess."

She looks like she's about to argue but then drops her head and starts pouring syrup on the still steaming cakes. After she eats as much as she can, Dean sets the tray on the floor before scooping her up. She's light as a feather and that just worries him more. Not that she was incredibly heavy before her pregnancy, but now he doesn't think she would be over 100 pounds soaking wet.

Sam's still playing with Tristan, so Dean hands over the baby monitor he had fished out of Cat's pocket. She hasn't made a single protest since the little surprised squeak when he picked her up, indicating just how wrung out she truly is. She's actually cuddled up to his chest, her breathing slow and even as she gets some much needed sleep.

He carries her to his room and tucks her into the bed, climbing in and settling next to her. He's hoping it will have the same calming effect it has in the past. He grabs his phone and texts Sam to let him know he's on baby watch for the next couple hours then draws Cat to his chest and breathes in the scent of baby powder, milk, cinnamon, and a hint of something sweet.

Cat remains dead to the world for nearly 6 hours. In that time, Dean has downloaded Words with Friends and challenged random people to games. "If you put SUR in front of FACE you'll get the double word for that and JUMPS." Cat's groggy voice suggests from his shoulder. He makes the play and smiles as he gains a 40 point lead.

"Thanks, Cat. How're you feeling?" he asks as she rolls off him and stretches lazily.

"Better than I have been. I really needed that, thanks." she admits grateful for their interference. "I guess Sam's suggestion of shifts is a good idea. He with Willow and Tristan?"

"Yeah, he texted me earlier to say that they're doing good. Apparently his reading puts them to sleep too, so it's not just me."

"Why did I never think of that?! I've been singing every song I know!" she laments.

Dean chuckles and says, "If Sam sang they'd be screaming their heads off. Be glad he found an alternative."

Cat grins at that. "Can't cook and can't sing, he's lucky he's so smart."

"And handsome." Sam says from the door. Dean had texted him the Cat was awake so he came to see her and heard their conversation.

"Nah, I got all the looks." Dean jokes as he and Cat sit up to recline against the headboard.

"The twins are napping, I already fed and changed them so they should be good for a little while." Sam reports, ignoring his brother's jibe.

"Cat agreed to the shifts." Dean informs him.

"Good because, no offense, you still look awful." Sam directs to Cat. He then addresses them both as he says, "Cas texted me that he'll be coming over tonight. He should be here soon, actually."

Cat gets up and takes a nice long shower instead of the quick bursts she rushed through every day. When she gets out and dresses, she heads to the library where Cas has joined them. He's been gone since the day after she recovered from the power imbalance so it's a shock for him to see how drained she looks.

He stops midsentence, his eyes widening and his brow furrowing with concern. "Cat, what happened? You look worse than when I left."

"The twins have been running me ragged." she confesses.

He turns on the brothers and reprimands, "Why haven't you been helping her? I thought we agreed we wouldn't let her shoulder this alone!"

"Don't be mad at them, they tried to help but I turned them away. I wanted to do everything, like that proved I was worthy of being their mother or something." She cuts in. She then turns an apologetic look to the brothers. "I'm sorry I shut y'all out. I know you love the twins and they love you. I should have let you help."

"It's okay, Cat. We just-" Sam starts to say before a piercing cry interrupts him. Cat moves to go take care of it instinctively, but Sam gently grabs her wrist. "Let Dean get it, you still need a break." Cat looks torn but finally nods to Dean. They can hear his murmurs through the monitor and it causes a small smile to grace Cat's face.

"So Cas, what have you been doing the past few weeks?" Cat questions.

"I've been looking for a way to stop Amara, but haven't had any luck so far." he sighs despondently.

"Shit, with all the excitement with the twins I completely forgot about her." Cat exclaims. She mentally kicks herself for getting so distracted. She has no idea what they've been planning since they decided to leave her out of everything when she was about a month away from her due date. She panics and turns to Sam. "Please tell me y'all haven't gone to Hell already." she pleads.

"How did you even-" Sam starts in surprise before just sighing, "You weren't supposed to know about that, I haven't even told Dean yet."

"Told me what?" Dean asks as he rejoins them.

"He's been having visions." Cat tells him, earning an annoyed look from Sam. She considers it revenge for all the times he's pulled the same thing on her.

"Sam.." Dean says warningly, unhappy about him keeping even more secrets.

"I was going to tell you, but then the twins were born." Sam tries to defend himself.

"How long?" Dean asks angrily.

"What?" Sam questions his brother.

"How long have you been having these visions?" Dean clarifies.

Sam sighs in defeat and admits, "Since I was infected at the hospital."

Predictably, Dean explodes at that and it breaks out into a full-blown argument. Cat winces and withdraws to a hidden corner in the library where she set a comfortable chair up years ago. She curls up in the chair as the angry voices continue to filter through the shelves. Tears roll down her face as she realizes she caused this. They've never fought like this in her presence, and to be honest, she finds it terrifying. She's worried that soon words won't be enough and fists will start to fly.

Cas tries to calm the brothers as they throw past mistakes at each other as well as insults. Finally, he gets so fed up he steps between them. "If you two could stow your crap for a minute, you might notice you scared away your sister." he scolds them.

They both curse under their breath then start calling for their sister to come out. They get no response but Cas tells them the general direction he saw Cat stumble off in. They find her curled in a tiny ball with tear tracks shining on her face. Their anger instantly melts away and they crouch next to the chair together.

"Cat, sweetheart?" Dean tries to coax her to open her eyes. She blinks at them and guilt fills them when they see her watery hazel eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I was a brat." she apologizes as a fresh wave of tears slips from her eyes.

"No, we're sorry." Sam interjects, Dean nodding in agreement.

"I didn't handle that well and I'm sorry for how I acted to both of you." Dean apologizes.

"I wasn't any better. I should have told you sooner, but I wasn't sure what they were trying to tell me at first." Sam adds.

"And now you know?" Dean questions him.

"I, uh, I think it's the Cage." Sam admits.

"The cage with Lucifer, that Cage?"

"Yeah. I was praying when they started so I think _God_ wants me to go there."

"No. No way. Not happening."

"Dean, it's God's will. These visions and the burning bush in the forest are from Him, I know it!"

"A burning bush?"

"Like in the Bible."

"You were in the forest. There are bushes there and sometimes they burn! You know what man? Maybe there is something to it all, maybe, and maybe there's not."

"Dean, doesn't it make sense? I mean, Lucifer would know how God ended the Darkness. He was there."

"It's not God giving you the visions, Sam." they hear Cat say quietly.

"What?" Sam turns away from Dean to look at Cat's tear stained face.

"It's Lucifer. If you go, he'll escape the Cage." she informs him.

"Wait, you've already seen this?" Dean asks at the same time Sam asks, "How would he escape? He needs a vessel."

"Yes, Dean, I have. As to how, Sam," she pauses and glances at Cas where he is hovering behind the Winchesters before continuing, "it doesn't matter. Let's just keep it from happening by leaving him alone and staying out of Hell."

"You know how to stop the Darkness, don't you." Dean accuses her. She just nods in response. "All this time we've been looking for a way to defeat her and you were, you were even _helping_ us and it never occurred to you to tell us?"

"It's not that simple, De."

"No, don't 'De' me. Tell me what's so hard about saying 'Oh by the way guys, I know how to defeat the Darkness'." Dean grinds out as he tries to keep from yelling at her. He can't get worked up like earlier, she doesn't deserve his rage.

"It's complicated." she tries again.

"Then simplify it for us, Cat. What do we need to do?" Sam asks, much calmer than his brother who is still tense with anger at both of them.

"That's just it, you _can't_ do anything, at least not right now. Certain….events have to happen before she can be stopped." Cat sighs as the three men look at her in confusion.

"Cat, are you saying we should just stop?" Cas finally speaks up incredulously.

"No. I'm just saying that until a certain player enters the game, we're kinda stuck." Cat corrects him.

"Who is it? Maybe we can find them." Sam suggests, excited at the prospect of finally having a lead.

Cat huffs out an almost laugh and replies, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you and besides, he will never be found unless he wants to be."

"So what, we just sit here with our thumbs up our asses until this mystery guy walks through the door?" Dean grumbles.

"We do what we do best, saving people, hunting things. It's the family business after all." Cat smiles from where she has uncurled to sit in the chair properly.

"But not you, Cat. You have two beautiful babies who need their mother alive and uninjured. You can't go risking your life anymore." Cas reminds her. None of them miss the mysterious emotion that flashes in her eyes before she pushes herself out of the chair, the men stepping back to give her room.

"I have a feeling my hunting days are over. I'm gonna check on the little monsters then hit the gym. It was nice to see you again Cas." she says then they part to let her walk back towards the hall.

"She's definitely hiding something." Dean remarks as soon as Cat is out of earshot.

"I assume you're referring to the hurt, regret, and sadness that flashed in her eyes before she left." Cas guesses.

"Is that what it was? I couldn't tell with how fast it disappeared behind her mask." Sam muses.

"I've spent enough time listening to her that I also learned how to read her. If she is hiding something, it's nothing good." Cas replies with a hint of concern. None of them like the idea that Cat may be in trouble.

"Of course it isn't. Dammit, can we never catch a break in this family?" Dean vents, pent up frustration leaking out. "I need a drink." He heads to the kitchen as Sam and Cas continue talking.

"Hey Cas, is there any way you could check Cat over without her knowing? I just want to know if whatever is wrong is something physical." Sam questions. He knows it would be an invasion of her privacy, but he can't stand the idea that there might be something wrong with her.

"I can try when she's asleep, but are you sure that's wise? She'll be furious if she finds out." Cas cautions him.

"I know, Cas, but it's our job to keep her safe and we can't do that if she hides stuff from us." Sam explains his motive.

Later that night, Dean takes over the monitor so that Cat can get some more sleep. Sam and Cas don't tell him what they're going to do, hoping that if Cat finds out then she can still trust at least one of them. Two hours after she retires to her room, Sam and Cas peek their heads into her room. She looks so young and peaceful when she sleeps, almost carefree if she didn't have dark bruises under her eyes from many sleepless nights.

They quietly slip in and carefully shut the door behind them. Cas walks over to her sleeping figure and gently places his fingers to her forehead. Sam sees her flinch, her brow wrinkling before it smooths out. When Cas removes his fingers, she turns and burrows deeper into the pillows. Cas, himself, has an odd expression on his face. He motions for Sam to follow him out of Cat's room, not saying a word until they're in the library.

"She's not sick or injured." he reports.

"But?" Sam prods, knowing that this kind of news wouldn't warrant the expression on Cas' face.

"It's her soul. I won't know for sure unless I touch it, but it felt like there was some sort of magical mark there. It was very faint and never would have even noticed if I hadn't been looking so thoroughly."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm afraid that without direct contact I won't know. It would be better for her to tell us than to go that route. We just have to wait and hope she opens up." Cas sighs, frustrated. It's like the warding all over again. Once again, he can do nothing but stand by as she struggles. He prays she will tell them what's wrong, but he knows right now her main focus is her children, not herself. She has become a very dedicated mother, despite all her earlier fears and panic attacks at the very thought of having children. "I should check over Tristan and Willow as well." he muses aloud.

"Why? Do you think they may be affected too?" Sam asks anxiously. He may hate the idea that something is wrong with Cat, but it's tripled when the twins might be involved as well.

"It may be nothing, but I would like to scan them as a precaution." Cas replies soothingly, trying to calm the panicking Winchester down. Once again they both sneak down the hall and enter the nursery this time. Cas repeats the same process he used on Cat, and when he finishes, he keeps a blank face and motions for Sam to follow him as he walks to Dean's room this time.

"Cas? Sam? What's going on?" Dean asks when he answers the door.

"We have a problem." Cas responds gravely.

 _ **A/N: Super long chapter to make up for my absence as I stressed about college. I also wrote another oneshot from Kevin's POV that will be uploaded with the next chapter as they are connected, unless I accidentally expand the story again. I'm dreading/ super excited for the 2 hour season finale on Thursday and even made an excuse to return to my apartment since I don't get the channel at home. Anyway, thanks for understanding my short hiatus and I hope y'all are still enjoying the story. Feel free to let me know what you think, I always love feedback! Til next time, ciao!**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Trigger Warning: I'm just being safe with adding a suspected suicide warning. When you reach that part you'll understand why I decided to put this as a precaution. Carry on!**_

 **Live Like You Were Dying**

 **OCTOBER: 7 months left**

The guys have been acting weird lately and it's freaking me out. I mean it's nothing bad, it just confuses me. Ever since Sam and Dean had their big fight they've been extremely…..supportive. They've always been supportive, but this is just excessive. Every day without fail they will all three tell me how they're here if I need to talk, making sure I'm doing okay, or just randomly hugging me and telling me how much I mean to them, and don't even get me started on the weird looks they give me when they think I'm not looking. The only explanation I can come up with for this sudden change is that they know I'm hiding something. I've started to take extra precautions and hide behind my mask even more.

"Hey Cat!" Sam greets cheerfully as I walk into the kitchen where he and Dean are eating breakfast. I murmur a reply and pour myself some cereal and milk before joining them at the table. "So, since the twins are over a month old now, Dean and I were thinking about starting hunting again." Sam tells me as we eat.

"I was wondering when y'all would start again. I can handle things here so you don't have to worry. When do y'all leave?" I reply after swallowing my spoonful of coco puffs.

"Today. We caught wind of a possible case in Massachusetts. A whole church was killed except for one person who sounds like Amara." Dean explains as he and Sam get up to put their dishes away.

"Amara? I thought y'all were gonna leave her alone?" I question in confusion. I already told them there's nothing they can do, but then again when has that ever stopped them.

"She's still killing people so she needs to be stopped. I know what you said, but we can't just stand by and let it happen." Sam responds.

"I understand, just be careful, okay? I don't want anything to happen to y'all while I can't be with you." I sigh. The timeline has already been screwed with so I have no idea if they could be killed now. I don't know what I would do without them, they're my family. Then I have a horrible thought, _if they're gone, who will take care of Tristan and Willow after my time is up?_

"Of course, sweetheart. Are you okay? You look upset." Dean asks. I must have let my mask slip and he saw the emotions swirling through my head at that thought.

"I'm fine." I shrug, mask firmly in place once more. They give me a skeptical look before heading out to pack for the hunt.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"It's been weeks and she hasn't even given a hint to what she's hiding, if anything she's even more closed off." Dean huffs in frustration as he and Sam drive towards Massachusetts.

"We know it's something that left a magical mark on both her and the twin's souls and that her Purgatory side is gone. Without Cas we wouldn't even know that. It's not something she will tell willingly, Dean, she's proven that. We both know that means it's bad, really bad. I still think we should just sit her down and make her tell us."

"Dude, you know if we do that she'll clam up for good. That woman has more stubbornness than a mule. No, we stick to Cas' plan and just make sure she knows we're here for her."

"Speaking of Cas, when did he say he would be at the Bunker?"

"Noon. He was hoping Cat would think it was a coincidence instead of us not wanting to leave her alone for long. She's smart though so I doubt it will work."

"Yeah, she knows us too well to believe that."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

As I'm making some lunch, the twins having been fed and laid down for a nap, Cas walks in. "Hey Feathers, what's up?" I greet. Should've known they wouldn't leave me alone, but I don't mind.

"Hello, Cat. I just thought I'd come see how you and the twins are doing. Where are your brothers?"

"Heading to a case in Massachusetts, probably be gone a few days., but you already knew that." He looks shocked. "I know they asked you to come, but I don't mind because it gets lonely, even with the twins."

"They just worry about you, and I do too."

"Yeah, that's what big brothers are best at." I tease him.

"Are the twins sleeping?" he asks, changing the subject.

"Yup, now that they're older they seem to go down easier." I tell him with a relieved sigh. "Hey Cas? Can I ask you something?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yes, of course, Cat. You know you can always talk to me about anything."

"Ok, umm is it possible that me and the twins are uh _connected_?" I question nervously. I've been noticing some weird stuff and I just need to know.

"Connected? What do you mean?"

"Well there was their behavior while I was dealing with the warding removal, this sort of, I don't know, presence? in my head, and they seem to be able to read me." His brow furrows as he thinks about what I said.

"This presence, is it like you can sense where your children are and how they're feeling?"

"Yes! I can tell right now that Willow is awake in her crib."

"You can distinguish them?"

"I've had time to figure out the differences. Tristan is cool and soothing while Willow is more energetic and warm."

"Cat, what you just described shouldn't be possible."

"Huh?"

"Those are their souls. I've sensed the same feelings when I've scanned them. You've somehow tuned into their souls and most likely the reverse."

"Is that good or bad?"

"It can be both good and bad. You can sense when they need you and always know where they are, but they can also sense your pain and any emotions you may have."

"Shit. So if I got hurt they would feel it?"

"Not the exact pain, they aren't old enough for the bond to be that strong, but they will feel a discomfort. That actually explains how they acted when you were fighting for your life. Linda said as much, but I thought it was a joke and never imagined it would be true."

"Cas, is there any way to block them from feeling me? Like if I was on a hunt and didn't want them to feel if I get hurt?"

"I think if you concentrate and put a mental block on where you can sense them, then that should work."

"Wait, if this shouldn't be possible then how do you know so much about it?"

"It is usually used between guardian angels and their human charges. The angel always keeps their side blocked, but they use it to sense when they are needed. For it to have formed between you and your children is odd. Your soul would hold the answers to this troubling development."

"You think touching my soul will reveal more? I'm really curious about this so why not? Let's do this before both little monsters wake up and demand attention."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

Cas is shocked by her acceptance. He hadn't expected her to agree for what she knows is a painful and invasive procedure. "Are you sure, Cat?"

"I know it won't be fun, but I need to know everything I can about this bond." she confirms with no hesitation. They decide to do it in the library where the chairs are more comfortable and there is less of a chance in waking the twins. With his belt between her teeth, Cas reaches through Cat's chest and gingerly touches her soul. He quickly finds the bond and confirms what he thought about its nature. He's about to pull back when he realizes this would be the perfect opportunity to find out more about the strange mark.

As quick as he can, he finds and touches the mark. His mind is instantly filled with a memory. He's heartbroken by what he discovers and carefully removes his hand. While Cat tries to recover, Cas stares at her sadly. "Why?" he finally asks after she has recovered.

"Huh?" she replies in confusion.

"Why did you sign away your life?" he questions brokenly. He only saw a glimpse of her signing a contract and a timer on the mark. She looks taken aback by his question, beginning to panic.

"How do you- how do you know that?"

"There was a mark with a countdown on your soul and a memory of you signing a deal."

"No one was ever supposed to know…"

"Just tell me why. Why would you willingly make your children orphans and leave your family?"

"It's not like that, Cas. I did it to protect my family, all of it. If I hadn't signed the deal, everyone I loved would've been hunted down and killed until I gave myself up. This is better."

"What are you talking about? Who did you make the deal with?"

"I can't tell you."

"Cat, who did you make the deal with?"

"No. If I tell you, you'll try to break it and damn me and my children to Hell."

Cas jerks back in horror at that declaration. "Hell?"

"The deal is that in a year's time I turn myself over and my children will be protected, but if I try to break it, I and my children will go straight to Hell. You can't tell anyone, Cas, especially Sam and Dean. They'll still try to break it and I can't risk my babies' souls."

By this time, Cas has figured out exactly who Cat made the deal with. Only Rowena would have the motive and the memory was in the abandoned warehouse where she had escaped. "I don't like lying to your brothers. They have a right to know your time is short. You have less than seven months left."

"Please, Cas. It's better if they don't know. I saw how much it hurt when they went through this with Dean's deal, I can't put them through that again. I want my time to be as happy and _normal_ as possible."

"Okay, but just think about how they will feel when you disappear."

"It will hurt them either way, but this way I can at least save them a few months of dread and pain. They can never know about the deal, even after I'm gone. All it will do is heap guilt onto all the pain because somehow they will determine it was their fault. You have to promise me, Cas."

"I promise."

"Swear on the twins."

"I swear."

"Good. Willow is getting lonely so I'm gonna go read to her." After Cat left, Cas sat down heavily and placed his head in his hands. Tears begin to fall as he curses the self-sacrificing nature of all the Winchesters. Now all he can do is sit back and watch Cat's last days and the grief of her brothers when she's gone. He vows to spend as much time as possible with the twins when she's gone. He can't replace their mother, but he can make sure they always feel loved and he knows her brothers will too.

Speaking of, he gets a call from Sam. "Hello Sam." he answers, schooling his voice to hide that he was crying.

"Hey Cas. How's Cat? Is she mad?"

"She understood and said it was lonely any way."

"Has she said anything to you about what she's hiding?"

"No. She's reading to the twins right now."

"Okay. Thanks for doing this, Cas. We really owe you, man."

"I enjoy spending time with Cat, it's no trouble at all."

"Well we should be back in a few days. Bye Cas."

"Goodbye Sam." He hangs up and drops his head. He hates lying to them, especially concerning their sister. Sighing, he gets up and heads to the nursery, peeking in to see Cat in the rocking chair with Willow in one arm and balancing a book with the other as she reads.

"'Fire! Wake up!' Fireheart yowled. Frostfur stumbled out of the warriors' den, her eyes wide with fear. 'We must leave the camp at once!' Fireheart ordered. 'Tell Bluestar the forest is on fire!'" Cat reads in her storytelling voice. Cas continues to listen as she uses different voices and sound effects to bring the story to life. By the time she closes the book, he's been there for an hour, just listening to her voice and imagining the events she's describing.

"You're a very talented storyteller." he tells her, startling her a bit. She had been so caught up in the story that she hadn't noticed him.

"How long have you been listening?" she questions him, blushing in embarrassment. She went overboard, focused on entertaining Willow, who had smiled and gurgled the entire time.

"About an hour. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, it was great. You really make the story come to life."

"Thanks, Cas. I read this series a lot when I was younger so I just used the voices I always imagined. I'm glad Charlie got the first set for me, Willow really loves them. You know, Kevin used to say I should record audiobooks. He really loved when I read to him or just told him stories. Do you think I'll get to see him when I die?"

"I hope so, Cat. You two deserve a happy ending after everything you've been through."

"Life isn't a story, Cas. Happy endings don't usually happen, especially to me." she sighs sadly.

"The universe owes you. Maybe you will finally get yours." She smiles at him before putting the slumbering Willow back in her crib and exiting the room while Cas watches her go.

"Please Father. Please let her have this one good thing."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

 **NOVEMBER: 6 months left**

Cas has been coming to visit more now that he knows. The boys have continued to hunt, even after Amara practically kidnapped Dean and then kissed him. I hated to tell them that angel smiting hadn't worked when they came home saying that she had been defeated. I'm hoping that since Rowena isn't in hiding and presumed dead, that she won't find and heal Amara. Sure Amara will heal on her own, but that will take more time and give us some peace for a few months at least.

All three of my brothers were home for Halloween so we had a mini celebration. We didn't go trick-or-treating, but we did all wear costumes and eat tons of candy. Dean was Batman, Sam was Harry Potter, Cas was a Viking, I was a female Indiana Jones, and the twins were a bee and a ladybug. Charlie had come over dressed as a Lord of the Rings elf and helped us eat all the sweets the brothers had bought. It's already Thanksgiving and we are still trying to eat it all.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, the six of us are currently in the Impala headed toward Sioux Falls. Jody invited us all up for the holiday so we all crammed in and our first family road trip began. "Cas, you're squishing me!" Dean complains. "I told you we should have taken multiple vehicles, Sam."

"Dean, we can survive for the few hours it will take. Cas, try not to squish the driver." Sam sighs. It's been an hour and variations of this argument have happened at least three time. Three grown men crammed into the front seat is cramped, especially with how broad shouldered they are.

"I don't know what y'all are complaining about, I'm perfectly comfortable back here." I smirk at Dean's glare in the rearview mirror.

"It's not fair that you get two tiny people sharing with you while the three biggest are sharing. I vote we take turns!" he whines.

"Works for me, I've been wanting to drive Baby."

"Oh Hell no! You are _not_ driving my car, you don't even know how to drive a stick!"

"Well then quit complaining." I stick my tongue out at him, I missed our banter on road trips.

"How are the twins?" Cas asks, trying to turn around and causing another complaint from Dean.

"Sleeping. If we're very lucky, they'll sleep through the whole trip."

"This is their first car ride, isn't it?" Sam asks, not even trying to turn after Cas' failed attempt.

"Yeah. They seem to really like it."

"How would you know? They've been asleep the entire time." Dean asks in confusion. Cas and I haven't told them about the bond, Cas thought it was best that way.

"Mother's intuition." I reply, getting the exact reaction I get every time I say that.

"There's no such thing, you can just read them or something." Dean denies.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were an expert on the subject. When did you become a mother?" I jibe.

"Shut up." he grumbles.

About four hours later, we pull up to Jody's house and Sam is out of the car before it's even fully in park. "Never again." he says as he stretches out all the kinks. I laugh and start unbuckling the twins' carriers. Dean grabs Willow while Sam grabs Tristan, allowing me to slide out. They wake up at the movement and their bright eyes take in the new surroundings. I send them calm feelings, hoping they won't get upset. I've been practicing and can send feelings as well as block my side of the bond.

"Look what the cat dragged in." Jody greets when she answers the door. "Did all of you ride in the Impala?" she questions when she doesn't see any other cars.

"Never again." Sam restates before setting the carrier down and pulling her into a hug. "How've you been? How are the girls?"

"We've been good. Claire has been trying to take up hunting, you may want to talk to her about that."

I pick up Tristan and Jody steps aside to let us all in. Cas sets up the little portable playpen we brought as I look around. Last time I was here was nearly two years ago. Since then Alex and Claire have moved in so a lot has changed.

"Hey Cat!" Claire greets when she walks in. We've been texting a lot since the case we worked together. She felt guilty when she found out about the stabbing but I finally got it through to her that if she hadn't done that, I would have been killed. "Are those the twins?"

"Claire Novak, meet Tristan and Willow Winchester." I introduce before pulling Tristan out of his carrier. "Would you like to hold him?"

She nods and I show her how to cradle his head. While she's distracted, I snap a quick picture and send it to Jody. The smile on Claire's face is so gentle and unlike any expression I've ever seen on her. About that time, Alex comes in. I pull out Willow and hand her over, coaching Alex like I did with Claire. She seems a bit more hesitant, but Willow's big blue eyes quickly put her at ease.

"You two make great aunts." Dean comments. I turn to see that everyone has come in from the kitchen and are watching the tender scene.

"Would you like to hold her, Jody?" Alex offers. Jody expertly holds Willow and gazes down at her with such affection that I snap another picture. It's nice to see the twins with family, they'll have so much love and support after I'm gone.

"What time is dinner? I'm starving!" Dean exclaims, breaking the moment and causing everyone to laugh. Jody passes Willow to me before replying to him.

"I made some sandwiches to tide us over. Dinner isn't for quite a while." The twins are setup in their playpen, toys and blanket laid out for them, before we all follow Jody. The sandwiches are delicious and afterward the boys are kicked out while the women work on dinner. Jody is amazing and makes sure we all have tasks suited to our abilities. I get pie, something I haven't made in a long time, much to Dean's chagrin.

It becomes obvious that the girls have become sisters just from the bickering.

"You're doing it wrong."

"Then you peel them!"

"That's not my job."

"Claire, she's doing fine, leave her alone and finish cutting the vegetables." Jody scolds, breaking up the girls.

I chuckle as I work on the pies. There's pumpkin, pecan, chocolate creme, cherry, and apple, which seems a bit excessive until you remember that Dean and I can put away an entire pie together. As I'm filling the pans after making the crusts, Dean sneaks up behind me and swipes some of the cherry filling. "Hey!" I exclaim, slapping his hand away when he tries again.

"Aww come on, sweetheart. They all look amazing and you haven't made me pie in a long time!"

"You can have some after dinner, not before." I reprimand him, pushing him bodily out of the kitchen.

Dinner itself is great. The food is delicious and we spend the entire time talking and joking around. I end up sitting between Dean and Sam with Cas, Claire, and Alex across from us and Jody at the head of the table. When Dean isn't paying attention, I dip my finger in his mashed potato and gravy before wiping it on his cheek. He retaliates by grabbing a handful of stuffing and then cramming it in my face. Before I can return the favor, Jody clears her throat and gives us The Look. "Sorry, Jody." I mumble in apology, Dean echoing me.

I excuse myself to clean the stuffing and gravy off my face before checking on my children. I already know they're asleep, but I just like to check on them anyway. They both have little turkey knit hats on their dark heads, cuddled under their favorite fleece blanket. It was a baby shower gift from Jody and the brown, orange, and red plaid matches our family so well.

Soon it's time for dessert and Dean decides to get a slice from all five flavors of pie. Judging by his moans, I did a good job. The men take care of clean up since we cooked and the four of us retire to the living room. "So how does it feel to be a mom?" Jody asks as the girls coo over the twins, now out on their blanket on the floor.

"It's great. It's crazy to think I used to be so terrified and thought I would suck at it."

"Once you see their tiny faces, instinct takes over. I was the same way with Owen."

"Do you have any tips for when they're older?" We start discussing baby proofing and the different brands of baby food until the three men join us again.

"I'm so full I don't think I'll be able to eat for a week!" Dean exclaims as he plops down next to me on the couch.

"Maybe you shouldn't have eaten so much pie." I tease as I poke his stomach.

"Maybe if you made it more often I wouldn't have to try to get as much as I can." he teases back, poking me in the side where I'm ticklish.

"Is that your way of requesting more pie?" I giggle.

"What can I say, you're a pie connoisseur." he grins.

"Fine, but only if you make me more burgers and pancakes." I bargain.

"Deal!" and we shake on it.

"You two are idiots." Sam smiles and shakes his head.

"No pie for you, then."

"What? Fine, you two are great. Can I have pie now?" We all laugh and the friendly banter picks back up. I've noticed that Cas and Claire are getting along better, she must have taken my advice to give him a chance. My mood saddens as I realize half of my time has come and gone. I have an amazing family, one I chose and who chose me. Without them I would be either lost or dead. They've shown me so much love and support and now I'm leaving them. I excuse myself to the bathroom and shut the door before quietly breaking down.

"Cat, are you okay?" Cas asks through the door not long after.

"No." I answer truthfully. He walks in and sits next to me on the edge of the tub, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I turn and wrap my arms around him, crying into his shoulder as his other arm snakes around me and he pulls me into a hug. "How can I leave my family? Y'all've been nothing but caring and supportive. How could I do this to y'all?" I sob.

"Oh Cat, I don't know what to say. It can't be changed and you did it to _protect_ your family. It will hurt, of course it will, and you'll never be forgotten, but we'll eventually move on. We'll never stop loving you, remember that."

I pull myself together and erase the evidence of my breakdown before rejoining everyone. Sam and Dean give me concerned looks but I just shake my head and they drop it. As it gets late, we prepare to head back home. "Thanks for inviting us, it was great." I smile as Jody walk us out to the car.

"It was nice to have a full table, you guys should come by more often." she returns with her own smile.

"If you cook like that, we'll definitely be back." Dean comments, causing everyone to chuckle.

"Well I'll see you three at home." I say as I pick up the twins' carriers, having set them down to hug Jody goodbye.

"What are you talking about?" Cas asks me with his adorable head tilt that shows he's confused.

"I'm flying me and the twins home so y'all have more room on the drive back. We'll probably be asleep when y'all come in so try to be quiet."

"Be careful, Kit-Kat. We'll see you in a few hours." I fly home and read the twins to sleep before dragging myself to my own bed and promptly passing out.

 **DECEMBER: 5 months left**

"Cheer up, Cat, it's Christmas!" Cas tells me when he sees the sad look on my face.

"I know. I know I should be excited for their first Christmas," I sigh as I look down at my sleeping children. "but it's the one year anniversary of Kevin's death. I guess the best word would be bittersweet."

"Just try to make the best of it, okay? You shouldn't think about that today. Promise me you will stop thinking and just enjoy today."

"I'll try, Cas. I want this to be a good memory for everyone."

"Grab the twins and come on, we're about to open presents!" Dean proclaims as he pops his head in before hurrying down the hall. Cas and I each pick up a twin and make our way to the library where the boys went all out decorating again, with my help this time. Under the tree are all the gifts from the four of us, the rest of the family coming later for dinner. Sam takes pictures as everyone opens their gifts, my favorite being a CD Dean made me of all his favorite songs, then Dean leaves to make breakfast. I pass Tristan over to Sam and follow Dean to the kitchen, getting started on dinner preparations.

First to arrive is Linda, along with a lot of presents, Cas helping her bring everything in. She's taken to the role of grandma really well, including spoiling the twins. After her is Jody and the girls then Charlie and her girlfriend, who is introduced as Kendra. I keep my promise and wait until everyone has left or gone to bed before I breakdown.

"I'm so sorry, Kev. I wish I could go back and never have mentioned that stupid case. I need you, our children need you." I sob before I'm startled by a hand settling on my shoulder. I look up and see all three of my brothers standing in front of me with compassion in their eyes. I try to stop crying, wiping the tears from my eyes, but then Sam speaks.

"It's okay to be sad that he's gone. If you need to cry then cry, we just want to be here for you."

"We're proud of you for having fun today even though it's the anniversary of his death." Dean adds while Cas pulls me into a hug. I don't know what I would do without them, and that makes me cry harder at the reminder that soon they will have to figure out what to do without me.

"I know, Cat. Just let it out, it's okay." Cas soothes. Eventually I wear myself out and start to doze off. Someone tucks me into bed and I grab their wrist.

"Stay, please." I mumble, too tired to even open my eyes and see who it is. When the scent of ozone and honey surrounds me, I smile as I realize it's Cas. I roll over and cuddle up to him with a sleepily murmured "Night, Cas."

"Goodnight, Cat. Sweet dreams." he replies, carding his hand through my hair and lulling me to sleep. I think I say something else, but I'm so far gone I don't know what it was.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

 **JANUARY: 4 months left**

 _"I don't want to die."_ That's been haunting Cas since Christmas night. He doubts she remembers saying it, but he can't forget the raw fear in her voice. He may not be able to prevent it, but maybe he can make it a little easier. "Hey, Cat?" he asks as he peeks his head into the nursery where she's changing Tristan's diaper.

"Just a sec, Cas. There, all done Trist." she says, redressing her son and tickling him, causing him to giggle. At four months old, he and Willow have been sleeping better and crying less, which has meant a happier Bunker for everyone. Cat picks Tristan up and lays him in his crib for a nap, Willow already snoozing away in her own crib. "Come on." Cat beckons Cas.

"Cat, I have an idea." Cas tells her as they walk down the hall. Sam and Dean are off on a hunt in Sioux Falls so there's no risk of being overheard.

"About what?" Cat questions with a small smile.

"You know how humans often make these things called bucket lists?"

"Yeah, stuff they wanna do before they die. I've never made one of my own, but I have ideas for one. Why?"

"Well I think you should make one and we can try to do everything."

"Like a last hurrah? That's actually a great idea!" Cat says excitedly before grabbing his hand and dragging him to her room. She pulls out a notebook and pencil before flipping to a blank page and writing _Cat and Cas' Bucket List_.

"Cat, this is for you, not me." Cas argues when he sees his name.

"Cas, you're my best friend and brother. I want us to do this stuff together and I want both of us to contribute. Maybe we can even trick Sam and Dean into a few." Cat grins mischievously. "Hmm, let's see. How about…"

 _1\. Go to Disney World with family_

"Your turn, Feathers."

"I'm not sure mine will be very exciting, but very well…"

 ** _2\. Stargaze_**

"Stargazing? That actually sounds really fun! I bet you know all the constellations, too!" Cat enthuses before adding her own entry.

 _3\. Fly in plane_

"You can fly on your own, why would you want to use a plane?" Cas inquires in bewilderment.

"I always wanted to since I was little, but never got the chance since we just drove everywhere we vacationed." Cat explains wistfully and Cas smiles before turning back to the list.

 ** _4\. Make Cat smile as much as possible_**

"Sap."

 _5\. Spend as much time with entire family as I can_

 _6\. Make something for children to remember me by_

"Who's the sap now, but those do sound good."

 _ **7\. Be a good uncle**_

"Okay, this list is way too sappy…"

 _8\. Go on at least one more hunt_

 _9\. Try every flavor of Talenti gelato_

"In that case…"

 _ **10\. Join Cat in both 8 and 9**_

 _ **11\. Visit every national park in the US**_

"Oh I like that one! I've actually been to a few."

 _12\. Go skydiving_

 _13\. Zipline somewhere exotic_

 _14\. White water rafting_

"These seem dangerous, Cat."

"That's half the fun! I never would've even consider them until now."

"Well then I suppose…"

 _ **15\. Accompany Cat on 12-14 and keep her safe**_

"Aww Feathers, are you worried about me?"

"You Winchesters have a knack for getting hurt."

"True."

 _16\. Have movie marathon with Charlie and another with brothers (yes that includes you Cas)_

"You could've just said that instead of adding it in parentheses."

 _ **17\. Take Cat to my favorite place on Earth**_

"Ooo a mystery destination!"

 _18\. Visit Kevin's grave for closure_

"I will go with you, Cat. You won't have to do it alone."

"Thanks Cas, but I think it's something I need to do on my own."

"Okay, Cat. How long are we making this list?"

"Twenty is a good solid number. You add the last two."

"Very well."

 ** _19\. Keep Cat's secret forever_**

 ** _20\. Make sure Cat knows how much she is loved and will be missed_**

"Cas…."

"There, everything we need to accomplish in the next four months. We can stargaze tonight and start on the gelato if you'd like." Cas interrupts Cat's protest to his final additions.

Cat sighs in fond annoyance and replies, "Sure, Cas. That sounds perfect."

 **FEBRUARY: 3 months left**

 _Cat and Cas' Bucket List_

 _1\. Go to Disney World with family_

 _ **X. Stargaze** (I still can't believe there was a shooting star AND we didn't catch a cold from the freezing night) **(We have powers, Cat. We can't get sick)** (Perks of the halo crowd, eh?) **(That's an odd way of putting it)**_

 _3\. Fly in plane_

 ** _4\. Make Cat smile as much as possible_**

 _5\. Spend as much time with entire family as I can_

 _X. Make something for children to remember me by **(They'll love it, Cat)** (Thanks Cas)_

 _ **X. Be a good uncle** (You don't need this on a list, they adore you)_

 _8\. Go on at least one more hunt_

 _9\. Try every flavor of Talenti gelato (How many do we have left?) **(Only the 3 seasonal. I still don't understand communicating on this list)** (It's like a record of our experiences)_

 ** _10\. Join Cat in both 8 and 9_**

 ** _11\. Visit every national park in the US_**

 _12\. Go skydiving_

 _13\. Zipline somewhere exotic_

 _X. White water rafting **(Why did I let you talk me into that?!)** (Hey, you had fun before the raft capsized)_

 ** _15\. Accompany Cat on 12-14 and keep her safe_**

 _X. Have movie marathon with Charlie and another with brothers (yes that includes you Cas) (I don't know which was better, nerding out over Tolkien with Charlie or making fun of horror movie with y'all) **(I believe forcing Sam to watch IT was a bit cruel of you)** (but also hilarious)_

 ** _17\. Take Cat to my favorite place on Earth_**

 _18\. Visit Kevin's grave for closure_

 ** _19\. Keep Cat's secret forever_**

 _ **X. Make sure Cat knows how much she is loved and will be missed (Cat this isn't done)** (Yes it is, featherbrain. I already know how much y'all love me)_

"Hey guys? Can I come with you on the hunt?" I ask Sam and Dean the morning after Valentine's Day. Dean looks like he had quite the night, that's for sure.

"What about the twins?" Sam questions.

"I called Charlie and she's free. She said we could drop them off at her home while we're gone."

"I'm guessing a 'no' wouldn't do much good then?" Dean sighs tiredly.

"Nope! See you in a few!" I chirp cheerily while he frowns in annoyance. I hurry to my room and call Cas before packing. Looks like we're about to knock another task off our list, technically two!

 ***time skip***

I watch as Dean kisses the woman, transferring the curse to himself before we escape. Sam, of course, is furious with Dean when we pull over. They get out to talk and I sit thinking, Cas and Melissa in the back with me. Cas met us at Charlie's and joined us on the hunt. Sam and Dean were confused at first until I mentioned I had called him.

"Cat, where are you going?" Cas exclaims as I quickly climb out of the Impala. Shutting the door behind me to deter Cas, I approach my brothers at the trunk.

"I'm gonna be fine, okay? And as long as I'm good, she's good and that's the important thing. Besides. It proved our theory didn't it. That this whole kiss of death thing is transmittable. I mean I'm not asking for the Nobel here, but thank you." I hear Dean say as I get closer, almost within reaching distance.

"How long do you think we have?" Sam asks him, they still haven't noticed me.

"I don't know. I mean it's not like this thing is exactly following a pattern. I don't even know what I'm looking for here. We cut out of there pretty quick though so maybe I bought us some-mmph." I grab Dean, turning him toward me and kissing him, transferring the curse to myself.

"Cat! What have you done?!" Sam exclaims in shock, Dean's face filled with horror as he realizes what just happened.

"I bought y'all some time to hunt without having to fight that thing off. You two can do what's needed while Cas and I keep it busy." I explain. I figure this is the best tactic as they can work faster without the monster on their asses.

"Dammit, Cat! I was fully capable of dealing with it myself." Dean fumes. I catch Sam coming closer out of the corner of my eye and put my hand in front of my mouth so I can still talk without worrying about them trying to take the curse.

"Don't even think about it, Moose. I'm keeping it and you two are gonna do your jobs and stop arguing." I turn and get back in the car, hand still over my mouth as I wouldn't put it past Cas to steal the curse.

"Self-sacrificing idiot Winchester." Cas grumbles next to me.

"Just living up to the name. I volunteered you to help me survive, by the way."

"I would have done that anyway."

"I know, that's why I did it before either of those stubborn idiots could volunteer themselves."

"Cat, did you really think this through?"

"What do you mean? It seems like a good plan to me." Melissa exits the car and approaches Sam and Dean, asking them questions while Cas and I have our own quiet conversation.

"This monster changes shapes, what if it becomes someone you love, will you be able to fight it?"

"It'll be fine, Cas."

 ***time skip***

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"It looks like we're dealing with a Qareen." Sam reads from the text they found in the salon basement.

"Never heard of it." Dean replies.

"It's a creature, corporeal in form. A slave to your commands." Sam continues to read.

"Kinda like a genie."

"I guess. Here we go. Someone chants a curse, lays a wet one on you, then the victim is seduced and killed by the Qareen, but instead of taking the form of Barbara Eden, the present themselves as your deepest, darkest desire."

"Makes sense why the sitter was killed by the husband. The husband by the sitter."

"Yeah. And why Melissa was attacked by Dan. She really loved him."

Suddenly, Dean curses. "What is it?" Sam asks him in concern for the sudden outburst.

"Cat. Her deepest, darkest desire?"

"Kevin. It's going to go after her as Kevin."

"Which means we need to find a way to kill it and soon. What else does it say?"

"We have to stab its heart, which should be in possession of the witch."

"Let's split up then, we have to hurry."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Cat, I still think this was a bad idea."

"And I still think you need to relax." I sigh from the motel bed. Cas and I were dropped off at a random motel and all he's done since we checked in is pace. Before he can retort, there's a knock on the door. Cas stops pacing and walks over to the door to see who it is. Before he can check, the door bursts open and slams into him, knocking him out. Standing in the doorway is exactly what Cas feared, the monster took on the form of Kevin.

"Hey honey, I'm home."

"You're not him."

"I have never felt this much love for a person, this Kevin must be special."

"He is, but you aren't." I growl before brandishing my angel blade and attacking. My blade, of course, is useless against it, but I'm really just giving Sam and Dean time to finish this. It gets in a few punches, including one that breaks my arm when I try to block it. It hauls me off the ground and pins me to the wall by my throat as it prepares to take my heart.

"NO!" Cas yells as its fist flies toward my chest. I stare into his wide blue eyes, not wanting to see the thing wearing Kevin's face. Before it can kill me, it stops and stumbles back. With a scream, it implodes and I sink to the floor, Cas rushing over. "Cat? Say something!"

"Two more items checked off our list." I wheeze, catching my breath from the strangling grip it had on me at the end.

"Maybe next time we can work on a less dangerous one? I found a website to get the seasonal gelato flavors." Cas huffs in relief.

"Sounds good." I smile up at him.

 **MARCH: 2 months left**

 _Cat and Cas' Bucket List_

 _1\. Go to Disney World with family_

 _ **X. Stargaze** (I still can't believe there was a shooting star AND we didn't catch a cold from the freezing night) **(We have powers, Cat. We can't get sick)** (Perks of the halo crowd, eh?) **(That's an odd way of putting it)**_

 _X. Fly in plane (Should this really count? We weren't in it very long…) **(We're counting it.)**_

 ** _4\. Make Cat smile as much as possible_**

 _5\. Spend as much time with entire family as I can_

 _X. Make something for children to remember me by **(They'll love it, Cat)** (Thanks Cas)_

 _ **X. Be a good uncle** (You don't need this on a list, they adore you)_

 _X. Go on at least one more hunt (I think that went well) **(You broke your arm and a few ribs, that isn't "well")** (Well we still helped kill it by distracting it. I'm calling it a win)_

 _X. Try every flavor of Talenti gelato (How many do we have left?) **(Only the 3 seasonal. I still don't understand communicating on this list)** (It's like a record of our experiences) (I liked the caramel apple pie best) **(I preferred the cinnamon peach biscuit)**_

 ** _X. Join Cat in both 8 and 9_**

 ** _11\. Visit every national park in the US_**

 _X. Go skydiving **(Sam and Dean will kill me if they ever find out I let you do this)** (That was exhilarating!) **(Maybe next time you could pull our chute much sooner)** (Freefalling is the best part!)_

 _13\. Zipline somewhere exotic_

 _X. White water rafting **(Why did I let you talk me into that?!)** (Hey, you had fun before the raft capsized)_

 ** _15\. Accompany Cat on 12-14 and keep her safe_**

 _X. Have movie marathon with Charlie and another with brothers (yes that includes you Cas) (I don't know which was better, nerding out over Tolkien with Charlie or making fun of horror movie with y'all) **(I believe forcing Sam to watch IT was a bit cruel of you)** (but also hilarious)_

 ** _17\. Take Cat to my favorite place on Earth_**

 _18\. Visit Kevin's grave for closure_

 ** _19\. Keep Cat's secret forever_**

 _ **X. Make sure Cat knows how much she is loved and will be missed (Cat this isn't done)** (Yes it is, featherbrain. I already know how much y'all love me)_

"Cat, I think it's time we mark one of my choices off the list." Cas tells me.

"Sure, which one?" I ask him with a grin. We've had so much fun with the list, I can still hear Cas' terrified shriek as we jumped out of the plane.

"I want you to see my special place." he replies with a soft smile, looking a bit nervous.

I jump out of bed excitedly. "I was hoping it would be that one, I've been curious." He grabs my hand so I can fly us there, nervous excitement shining in his eyes. Sam and Dean are home so the twins will be fine without us for a few hours. When we land, I stare around in awe. Cas' place is a beautiful hidden sanctuary. It looks like the kind of place you would find a lost civilization in, complete with a waterfall.

"Where are we?" I breathe out.

"Somewhere deep in India. You're the first human to ever set foot in this grotto." Cas reveals, eyes shining.

"It's beautiful, Cas. Thank you for sharing this with me." I reply with sincerity. There are a variety of trees and flowers filling the area with the waterfall fed pool lying in the center. We're actually on the edge of the waterfall, Cas having directed our flight. "Can we go down there?"

"Of course, Cat." he smiles and I fly to the ground. It's even more beautiful up close, the spray from the waterfall covering the nearby plants in shining droplets. It feels like a dream, exploring Cas' sanctuary. He tells me the story of how he found it as we walk around. Soon, too soon for my liking, it's time to go.

"Hey Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Umm if it's okay, can you bring my children here when they're older? If not, that's okay. It's your place so-"

"I would love to, Cat. It's nice to share it with people I care about."

"Thanks Cas. I guess we should get home."

"One last thing." Cas pulls out his phone and I smile. We've been taking pictures every time we knock an item off the list. I fly us back to the top of the waterfall so the entire grotto can be in the background as he snaps the picture. "Okay, now we can go."

 **APRIL: 1 month left**

 _Cat and Cas' Bucket List_

 _1\. Go to Disney World with family_

 _ **X. Stargaze** (I still can't believe there was a shooting star AND we didn't catch a cold from the freezing night) **(We have powers, Cat. We can't get sick)** (Perks of the halo crowd, eh?) **(That's an odd way of putting it)**_

 _X. Fly in plane (Should this really count? We weren't in it very long…) **(We're counting it.)**_

 _ **4\. Make Cat smile as much as possible** (I guess this and 5 will be marked off after I'm gone) **(I'm sorry, Cat)** (It's the whole reason we're doing this. It's been amazing!)_

 _5\. Spend as much time with entire family as I can_

 _X. Make something for children to remember me by **(They'll love it, Cat)** (Thanks Cas)_

 _ **X. Be a good uncle** (You don't need this on a list, they adore you)_

 _X. Go on at least one more hunt (I think that went well) **(You broke your arm and a few ribs, that isn't "well")** (Well we still helped kill it by distracting it. I'm calling it a win)_

 _X. Try every flavor of Talenti gelato (How many do we have left?) **(Only the 3 seasonal. I still don't understand communicating on this list)** (It's like a record of our experiences) (I liked the caramel apple pie best) **(I preferred the cinnamon peach biscuit)**_

 ** _X. Join Cat in both 8 and 9_**

 _ **X. Visit every national park in the US** (Wow, there were way more than I expected. The twins seemed to enjoy them at least) **(I'm glad you brought them along and we even got Sam and Dean to come along to a few)** (I will treasure that picture of Sam and the moose at Yellowstone forever) **(What about the squirrel that climbed up Dean in Yosemite?)** (Also priceless!)_

 _X. Go skydiving **(Sam and Dean will kill me if they ever find out I let you do this)** (That was exhilarating!) **(Maybe next time you could pull our chute much sooner)** (Freefalling is the best part!)_

 _X. Zipline somewhere exotic (That was even better than Jamaica!) **(Yes, the Amazon forest was quite beautiful)** (Sorry you got stuck, but they did warn you not to use the brake for that stretch)_

 _X. White water rafting **(Why did I let you talk me into that?!)** (Hey, you had fun before the raft capsized)_

 _ **X. Accompany Cat on 12-14 and keep her safe** (Mission accomplished) **(That was actually quite fun)** (Told you!)_

 _X. Have movie marathon with Charlie and another with brothers (yes that includes you Cas) (I don't know which was better, nerding out over Tolkien with Charlie or making fun of horror movie with y'all) **(I believe forcing Sam to watch IT was a bit cruel of you)** (but also hilarious)_

 _ **X. Take Cat to my favorite place on Earth** (So far this has been my favorite) **(Mine as well)**_

 _18\. Visit Kevin's grave for closure_

 _ **19\. Keep Cat's secret forever** (I trust you, Cas) **(It's the least I can do)**_

 _ **X. Make sure Cat knows how much she is loved and will be missed (Cat this isn't done)** (Yes it is, featherbrain. I already know how much y'all love me)_

"Remind me again why we're here?" Dean grumbles as he finds a space to park the Impala.

"Don't tell me you aren't secretly excited, it's Disney World!" I exclaim before jumping out, dragging Cas out with me. The twins are with their grandma, being too young to enjoy this.

"Cat, what's been up with you lately? What's with all these vacations?" Sam questions as he extracts his long legs from the car.

"Is our sister not entitled to some fun with her brothers?" Cas defends.

"Of course she is, but why cram it all into the last few months? Summer is a better time for a lot of what we've done." Dean counters.

"Less people this way, trust me. I've come during the summer and it was packed!" I reply.

"Okay, fine. Where do you want to start? We have a day for each park before we should head back. I told Linda it would be a week-long trip." Sam sighs in defeat.

It turns out that we each have different ideas on where to start. Dean votes MGM, or Hollywood studios as it's called now. Sam argues for Epcot, wanting to experience all the different cultural aspects while Cas chooses Magic Kingdom where most of the characters and rides are. Personally, I want to go to Animal Kingdom. Working in that park used to be my life goal, the reason I chose my major, but I don't tell them this as I don't want to influence the decision.

We decide on using a rock-paper-scissors tournament to decide. The idea is that two people pair off and after each round we switch until everyone has played against everyone. Whoever wins the most wins the game. Sam and Dean pair off first, leaving me to face Cas. By the end, Dean loses to everyone, Sam loses to me but wins against Cas, and I win against everyone. "You must have cheated." Dean accuses in mock anger.

"Or I'm just good at it. I used to play gun-man-gorilla all the time."

"What the hell is that?"

"Basically rock-paper-scissors, but more ridiculous."

"Well Cat, lead the way!" Cas grins. The four days pass in a blur. Animal Kingdom was amazing and I even spotted De Vine, who I knew about from books I read in the other dimension. The boys decided I needed to get a picture with every character we saw, which was annoying at first but then fun as I just let go and goofed off with the characters. We all got different Disney character hats, mine a cute mouse ear headband with lace and a top hat with a feather. Sam got a Goofy hat with ears hanging down, Cas was convinced to get the Mad Hatter mouse ears, while I forced Dean to get the pirates of the Caribbean ones.

We had so much fun riding all the rides, even the ones I was terrified to try back in my sophomore year like Expedition Everest and the Tower of Terror. When it was time to head back home, their was a gloomy feeling in the car, all of us wishing we could stay longer. Picking up the twins, however, made me glad we didn't stay. I really missed my adorable munchkins.

 **MAY: 1 week left**

 _Cat and Cas' Bucket List_

 _X. Go to Disney World with family (That was so much fun!) **(I think we all can agree on that)**_

 _ **X. Stargaze** (I still can't believe there was a shooting star AND we didn't catch a cold from the freezing night) **(We have powers, Cat. We can't get sick)** (Perks of the halo crowd, eh?) **(That's an odd way of putting it)**_

 _X. Fly in plane (Should this really count? We weren't in it very long…) **(We're counting it.)**_

 _ **4\. Make Cat smile as much as possible** (I guess this and 5 will be marked off after I'm gone) **(I'm sorry, Cat)** (It's the whole reason we're doing this. It's been amazing!)_

 _5\. Spend as much time with entire family as I can_

 _X. Make something for children to remember me by **(They'll love it, Cat)** (Thanks Cas)_

 _ **X. Be a good uncle** (You don't need this on a list, they adore you)_

 _X. Go on at least one more hunt (I think that went well) **(You broke your arm and a few ribs, that isn't "well")** (Well we still helped kill it by distracting it. I'm calling it a win)_

 _X. Try every flavor of Talenti gelato (How many do we have left?) **(Only the 3 seasonal. I still don't understand communicating on this list)** (It's like a record of our experiences) (I liked the caramel apple pie best) **(I preferred the cinnamon peach biscuit)**_

 ** _X. Join Cat in both 8 and 9_**

 _ **X. Visit every national park in the US** (Wow, there were way more than I expected. The twins seemed to enjoy them at least) **(I'm glad you brought them along and we even got Sam and Dean to come along to a few)** (I will treasure that picture of Sam and the moose at Yellowstone forever) **(What about the squirrel that climbed up Dean in Yosemite?)** (Also priceless!)_

 _X. Go skydiving **(Sam and Dean will kill me if they ever find out I let you do this)** (That was exhilarating!) **(Maybe next time you could pull our chute much sooner)** (Freefalling is the best part!)_

 _X. Zipline somewhere exotic (That was even better than Jamaica!) **(Yes, the Amazon forest was quite beautiful)** (Sorry you got stuck, but they did warn you not to use the brake for that stretch)_

 _X. White water rafting **(Why did I let you talk me into that?!)** (Hey, you had fun before the raft capsized)_

 _ **X. Accompany Cat on 12-14 and keep her safe** (Mission accomplished) **(That was actually quite fun)** (Told you!)_

 _X. Have movie marathon with Charlie and another with brothers (yes that includes you Cas) (I don't know which was better, nerding out over Tolkien with Charlie or making fun of horror movie with y'all) **(I believe forcing Sam to watch IT was a bit cruel of you)** (but also hilarious)_

 _ **X. Take Cat to my favorite place on Earth** (So far this has been my favorite) **(Mine as well)**_

 _18\. Visit Kevin's grave for closure_

 _ **19\. Keep Cat's secret forever** (I trust you, Cas) **(It's the least I can do)**_

 _ **X. Make sure Cat knows how much she is loved and will be missed (Cat this isn't done)** (Yes it is, featherbrain. I already know how much y'all love me)_

"Are you sure you want to go on your own? I can even just stay in the car." Cas offers one last time as I throw my overnight bag into Daphne's trunk.

"I appreciate the offer, Cas, but I really need to be alone for this. I ran right after the funeral so I never got the closure I needed. Now, with only a week left, I'm going to fix that." I remind him, turning down his offer once again.

"I understand, Cat. Promise to call so I know you're okay?" he requests.

"Of course, I'll let you know when I arrive and when I'm about to leave." I assure him with a smile. This is the last item on the list that can be marked off before I die. It's been such a great four months, spending so much time with my family and having fun. I hope I've given them enough good memories to soften the blow my disappearance will have. I have no idea what Rowena will do with my body when she's done so I don't even know if they will think I ran out or if they'll discover I died. Cas, of course, will know exactly what happened.

As I near my old home, I'm flooded by memories. There's the little café we frequented for their amazing hot chocolate in a variety of flavors. There's the park where Kevin proposed. It looks so different now, trees full of leaves and no Christmas lights strung all over. Soon, I come to our house. It was sold over a year ago, but it still looks the same minus the bike leaned against the side. I sit on the side of the road just staring for a while before my phone ringing makes me jump.

"H-hello?"

"Did you make it? You didn't call and I got worried."

"Sorry Cas, guess I got distracted. Everything looks the same and yet slightly different. I keep thinking Kevin will walk out of the house and ask why I haven't come in yet."

"I should be with you, it's still too fresh for you."

"I'll be okay."

"It's Cat…...I'm not done talking to-"

"Cat? Where are you?" Dean's voice comes on as he steals the phone from Cas.

"Colorado, I'll be back tomorrow."

"Colorado? Are you alone? You shouldn't be alone…"

"Yes I am, but it's how I wanted it. I'll see you tomorrow, De." I hang up and glance at the house once more before continuing to the cemetery. I had stopped by a flower shop in town to buy a bouquet to lay on the grave, so I grab that and slowly walk toward where I know there is a grave stone with

 _Kevin Tran_

 _December 2, 1995-December 25, 2014_

 _Beloved son, friend, and fiancé_

 _Gone but never forgotten_

I lay the flowers on the headstone, kneeling down and whispering, "I'm so sorry, Kevin. You have two adorable children who are about to be orphans because of me. I've failed you." I stay like that crying until it gets dark. I stumble back to the car and drive to the nearest motel, crying once again as soon as the door shut behind me. I don't get much sleep, still grieving, but I feel like maybe I just got the closure I needed.

The next morning, I shower to wash away the evidence of my sobfest before checking in with Cas and heading back home. When I pull into the Bunker garage, I'm met by my family. Sam and Dean holding the twins with Cas coming over to open my door. As soon as I unbuckle, he pulls me up into a hug. "I'm glad you're home, I was worried."

"I told you I'd be fine."

"The twins were fussy while you were gone yesterday, but calmed down today." Dean reports as I take Willow from him.

"Did my babies miss me? Mommy's back now and I think it's story time!" I coo.

"Ma ma, ma ma" I freeze in my tracks. Did she just say her first words? Tristan said his during our Disney trip so I missed it.

"Oh my God" I gasp, staring wide eyed as she repeats, "ma ma, mama" I look at my brothers to see that Cas has his phone pointed at us, presumably recording this milestone. I turn back to Willow, "That's right, I'm your mama." I praise as tears slip down my face. I feared I would miss this, my time quickly running out. I had expected them to start forming these almost words months ago, but right now I'm too happy to worry about how late she is.

"Ma ma, ma ma" Tristan chimes in. I feel a wave of emotion wash over me and more tears spill from my eyes.

"Are these her first words?" I question my brothers, fearing she had already talked while I was gone.

"I guess she wanted you to hear them first." Sam smiles and I smile even wider.

"You're definitely getting a story now!" I exclaim, looking down into my daughter's bright and happy face.

 **MAY 12TH: TIME'S UP**

I can feel the pull urging me to meet Rowena and soon I won't be able to fight it, but I'm waiting to say goodbye to Cas. "Cat, is it time?" he asks as I walk into a guest room he took as his own.

"I can't fight it much longer." I reply sadly. He jumps out of bed and wraps me in a hug.

"I love you, Cat. I'll never forget you, sister." he whispers, his voice tight as he tries to hold in the sobs.

"I love you too, Cas. Take good care of our family. You've been an amazing brother." I kiss him on the cheek then stop fighting the pull, surrendering to my fate.

 **TWO DAYS LATER**

 _Dead woman found in abandoned house_

 _Yesterday authorities found a Jane Doe in an abandoned house outside of Detroit. The cause of death is considered as a suicide, but reports mention some irregularities with the crime scene. If you recognize this woman, please contact the Detroit PD immediately._

Cas stares at the sketch artist's picture of Cat, recognizing her immediately. He's been scouring the internet ever since she disappeared, hoping to locate her and bring her home for a proper funeral. The day before her deal was up, she had requested a hunter's funeral if her body was ever found, and he wanted to honor her last request.

"Hey Cas, have you heard from Cat? She hasn't called or texted since she disappeared two days ago." Dean comments as he walks up to Cas, Sam following him.

"Did you find a case?" Sam questions when he sees the newspaper article's headline. "Let me see- No, please tell me that's not her!"

"Not again, I can't lose her again!" Dean exclaims, snatching up the laptop and staring at the short article, Sam reading with him.

"Suicide? That can't be right, she's been so happy lately and she has her children to think about!" Sam exclaims in shocked denial.

"It says there were irregularities, maybe it was something else. I refuse to believe our beautiful and caring sister took her own life!"

Cas watches with pain-filled eyes as the news tears the brothers apart. She was their sister long before she was his. They were the ones who took her in when she just appeared in their car, the ones who saved her and helped her through all the trauma she endured. They were the ones to give her a family after hers was cruelly jerk away. They were the ones who braved Purgatory to bring her back after she died, and they are now the ones who are being made to believe she killed herself.

He wants so badly to tell them of the deal, that it was Rowena who killed her, but he remembers number 19 of their list and remains silent, determined to keep his promise. When they go to identify her body and see the twin vertical slashes, stitched up by the coroner, he watches Sam and Dean break. He takes care of the body release process as the brothers check out the house she was found in, but they return without finding anything.

They have the funeral the next night, gathering everyone Cat loved for the service. Everyone has something to say, whether recalling a funny story or telling of a heartfelt memory. By the time she is nothing but ash, there isn't a dry eye left. Everyone stays at the Bunker that night, it being too late for them to return home. They stay up for hours telling stories, even showing pictures. Cas shares all the pictures from fulfilling the bucket list, surprising Sam and Dean when they see the more extreme items.

"You two went rafting _and_ skydiving?" Dean exclaims in amazement, looking at the video Cat took with his phone as they jumped, switching between front and back cameras to capture everything. Cas smiles as he sees the wild abandon in her eyes, her face split into a wide grin while his eyes were close as he was praying for them not to die.

"She was rather insistent, as you can see she had a lot of fun." Cas replies with a fond smile. After everyone else has gone to sleep, Cas sneaks into Cat's room and pulls out their list.

 _Cat and Cas' Bucket List_

 _X. Go to Disney World with family (That was so much fun!) **(I think we all can agree on that)**_

 _ **X. Stargaze** (I still can't believe there was a shooting star AND we didn't catch a cold from the freezing night) **(We have powers, Cat. We can't get sick)** (Perks of the halo crowd, eh?) **(That's an odd way of putting it)**_

 _X. Fly in plane (Should this really count? We weren't in it very long…) **(We're counting it.)**_

 _ **X. Make Cat smile as much as possible** (I guess this and 5 will be marked off after I'm gone) **(I'm sorry, Cat)** (It's the whole reason we're doing this. It's been amazing!) **(I'm going to miss seeing you smile)**_

 _X. Spend as much time with entire family as I can **(I wish you could have heard all the stories and how much everyone loves you. You accomplished this task, rest in peace my little honeybee)**_

 _X. Make something for children to remember me by **(They'll love it, Cat)** (Thanks Cas) **(I placed the CD where it could be easily found. You sound so beautiful singing those lullabies)**_

 _ **X. Be a good uncle** (You don't need this on a list, they adore you)_

 _X. Go on at least one more hunt (I think that went well) **(You broke your arm and a few ribs, that isn't "well")** (Well we still helped kill it by distracting it. I'm calling it a win)_

 _X. Try every flavor of Talenti gelato (How many do we have left?) **(Only the 3 seasonal. I still don't understand communicating on this list)** (It's like a record of our experiences) (I liked the caramel apple pie best) **(I preferred the cinnamon peach biscuit)**_

 ** _X. Join Cat in both 8 and 9_**

 _ **X. Visit every national park in the US** (Wow, there were way more than I expected. The twins seemed to enjoy them at least) **(I'm glad you brought them along and we even got Sam and Dean to come along to a few)** (I will treasure that picture of Sam and the moose at Yellowstone forever) **(What about the squirrel that climbed up Dean in Yosemite?)** (Also priceless!)_

 _X. Go skydiving **(Sam and Dean will kill me if they ever find out I let you do this)** (That was exhilarating!) **(Maybe next time you could pull our chute much sooner)** (Freefalling is the best part!) **(They saw the pictures and video, but they seemed more impressed than angry)**_

 _X. Zipline somewhere exotic (That was even better than Jamaica!) **(Yes, the Amazon forest was quite beautiful)** (Sorry you got stuck, but they did warn you not to use the brake for that stretch)_

 _X. White water rafting **(Why did I let you talk me into that?!)** (Hey, you had fun before the raft capsized)_

 _ **X. Accompany Cat on 12-14 and keep her safe** (Mission accomplished) **(That was actually quite fun)** (Told you!)_

 _X. Have movie marathon with Charlie and another with brothers (yes that includes you Cas) (I don't know which was better, nerding out over Tolkien with Charlie or making fun of horror movie with y'all) **(I believe forcing Sam to watch IT was a bit cruel of you)** (but also hilarious)_

 _ **X. Take Cat to my favorite place on Earth** (So far this has been my favorite) **(Mine as well)**_

 _X. Visit Kevin's grave for closure (I hope I get to see him soon, I miss him so much) **(I hope so too, Cat)**_

 _ **19\. Keep Cat's secret forever**_ _(I trust you, Cas) **(It's the least I can do)**_

 _ **X. Make sure Cat knows how much she is loved and will be missed (Cat this isn't done)**_ _(Yes it is, featherbrain. I already know how much y'all love me)_

 _ **I'm glad we finished the list before you died. I honored your final request and you got a hunter's funeral. Every single person you loved came and spoke tonight, it was very touching. I wish you could have heard just how much you've impacted your family. Everyone thinks you killed yourself, the wounds Rowena inflicted resembling that, but I know better. I know you sacrificed yourself for everyone in this Bunker right now. You protected your family and I will do my best to protect them now that you're gone. I will treasure the memories we made with this list and remember you as that bright young woman, not the pale cold body I saw in the morgue. I miss you, Cat, and I hope you are reunited with Kevin in heaven now. You remind me of an Oscar Wilde quote: "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." You truly lived, Cat. Even in the face of death, you lived and made the most of your life. I will make sure Tristan and Willow know just how amazing their mom was and how much you loved them. They will never question because I will make them see the truth. They're in good hands, Cat, but you already knew that. I hope that Sam and Dean will realize you couldn't possibly have committed suicide. They've been blaming themselves over it, convinced they missed something. The heavy drinking has already started, but I will make sure they don't do anything stupid. I don't think you ever realized what you mean to those two. They're completely broken and lost without you now, mere shells of themselves. I'm not doing much better, but I'm coping. The mark on the twins is gone, it disappeared when you held up your end of the deal. I know I promised to leave Rowena alone since she is sworn to protect the twins, but all I feel is murderous rage toward her. I fear if I ever see her, I will kill her immediately. She would deserve it, forcing you to give your life and blood just so she could get a power boost, but I would be disappointing you. The world is a darker place without you Cat, I pray that Father will take pity and bring you back to us.**_

* * *

 _ **A/N: Wow that was a long chapter of completely unplanned events! I may have too much free time now that it's summer XD If you haven't watched the finale yet, prepare for pain. I'm not ashamed to say I cried and was in shock for an hour after the end. Be on the look out for a oneshot titled Dearly Departed as it fits in after this chapter (I have it written and edited, just gotta make a cover for it). Kudos if you catch the reference to a fic I read on AO3 recently. Well I think that's all I have to say, ciao!**_

 _ **A/N 2: Apparently is anti fonts and mark-throughs, so sadly you won't be able to see the different handwriting styles on the list. Luckily I checked before posting so I went back and just used different formats, but that took all the fun out of it...**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Famous Final Scene**

Cas looks down at the list, glad Cat had insisted they leave a record of sorts for each achievement. A single tear drips onto the paper and he quickly puts it away before he smears the ink. When he shuts the drawer, he looks up and sees a picture of the six of them at the Grand Canyon. He picks it up and runs a finger over Cat's smiling face. _"How can you be afraid of heights?" "I'm more afraid of falling now that I can't fly." "I'll catch you, Feathers. You can always count on me."_

He hadn't fallen, but he had felt safer knowing she wouldn't let anything happen to him. He puts the frame back in its place and heads to his own room after checking on the twins. They've been more subdued since Cat left, most likely due to the bond disappearing. He's glad Cat quickly learned how to block her side so the twins didn't have to feel as she died. He grabs his laptop and settles on his bed before starting it up. Within a few minutes, he has hacked into Cat's file.

When he opens the crime scene photos, he realizes what the irregularities with the scene were. Two large and beautiful wing scorch marks fan out from the tape outline on the rotten mattress. Another picture shows the scene as it was found and he has to cover his mouth and look away to keep from throwing up. He knows the blood on the scene isn't actually Cat's, seeing as Rowena needed it, but to see the red coating her arms and pooling on the floor as she lays pale and lifeless is too much. He continues to click through the pictures, but there's nothing new or enlightening to see. _I love you, Cas. Thanks for making my last few months so extraordinary. Take care of our family like you took care of me these past few years._ That was the last he heard from her, and he wishes he could have done more. He's been trying to do as she prayed, but her brothers have locked themselves away both physically and emotionally.

When morning comes, Cas drags himself from his bed where he was going through old pictures on his phone all night, and heads to the nursery to look after Tristan and Willow. He puts in the CD as he changes and feeds the unusually quiet and still babies. They seem to perk up a bit when they hear their mom's voice, but soon settle back down when she doesn't appear. "I know, I miss her, too." he tells them as he finishes up. He pulls them both into his arms and then walks down to the TV room where a blanket and toys are always spread out for them.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

 _How did I not see she was hurting?_ Dean berates himself and takes another swig from the bottle of whiskey. _We were supposed to protect her and make sure she felt love, and we failed,_ I _failed. I knew she was hiding something months ago, but then she seemed happier and I just let it go. Why did I let it go? If I had talked to her, maybe she would be fine, maybe she wouldn't have decided to just end it. I keep screwing up with her. First I let her go off on her own and she got kidnapped, I left her at the Bunker by herself and she got attacked and possessed, I chased her away in anger and she got hurt, I let that angel into Sam and he killed her, I disregarded her vision as a dream and wasn't there to help her wen Kevin died and she ran, I let her get stabbed shortly after her return, I even beat her up when she tried to stop me from hitting Cas. I never deserved to be her brother. Cas has been a much better brother than I ever was. She always went to him for everything and I can understand why._

Soon his bottle is empty so he grabs another and finds that one empty too. A drunken search shows there is no alcohol left in his room so he shuffles down the hall to raid the kitchen for liquor. "It's all gone and you are in no condition to drive out for some more." he hears a deep voice from behind him. He turns to see Cas in the doorway with a twin on each hip and a stern look on his face.

"Screw off, Cas. Don't you even care that she's gone? How can you act like everything is fine when she left us? She left us, Cas! She chose death over her family! How can you be so calm about this?!" Dean rages, having enough restraint to avoid pushing Cas away, not wanting to hurt the twins.

"You think I don't care? You think I'm just fine about losing my little sister? Dean, if it weren't for the fact that someone needs to care for these two, I'd be an absolute mess right now. She meant so much to me and I can't stand that she's gone, but she wouldn't want us to ignore her children in our grief." Cas replies passionately, hoping to convey just how hurt he really is. He's kept a brave face around everyone else, but when he's alone, he breaks down. He has been doing so for weeks, even before Cat was gone forever, because he knew it would happen.

Dean sobers up a bit and ask in a broken voice, "Why did she leave us? Was she not happy? What did we miss that caused her to give up?"

"Oh Dean, do you really think so little of our sister?" Cas sighs sadly, wishing he could just tell the broken man what really happened.

"Cas, we all saw the evidence. If there hadn't been blood, I would know it wasn't her doing, but it's hard to argue with blood that was a 100% match to her." Dean argues.

"I choose to believe my heart. We both know crime scenes can be faked, you've even faked a few yourself. In my heart I know her soul was too pure and happy."

"What did her soul look like?" Dean asks curiously.

"Her soul was bright, the brightest I've ever seen next to yours. Every time I brushed it when scanning her, I would get a feeling of warm happiness and comfort and brief flashes of her happiest memories with her family, the family she created. She was content and happy here, truly. She loved her entire family and I refuse to believe she would leave willingly. Did you ever consider there may have been someone else who forced her?"

"Oh my God, you're right! I had my head so far up my ass I never even considered it! We need to check out the house she was found again!" Dean exclaims, hoping to find something to prove his bright and happy sister hadn't taken her own life. He knows she will still be dead, regardless of what they find, but it will make him feel better and less like he failed her. He still allowed her to be killed, something he will never forgive himself for, but if it was from someone else, he can at least take his anger and pain out on them.

"You need to sleep, Dean. You won't do anyone any good if you pass out and crash your car due to exhaustion and all the whiskey you've drank. Go to bed and sleep it off, I'll deal with the guests."

Dean nods and heads back to his room, exhaustion finally sweeping over him. He had forgotten about all the guests from the funeral, too busy drowning himself in whiskey. As soon as he reaches the bed, he sets the bottles aside and promptly passes out.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

While Cas and Dean were talking things out in the kitchen, Sam was over a mile away. After everyone had went to their rooms, Sam snuck out and went for a long run to avoid thinking, but it didn't work. He ran for hours before finally turning toward home. Instead of entering his room, he found an old, empty urn and returned to the clearing they burned Cat's body. Scooping up as much of the ash as he could, he filled the urn.

Now, he is finishing burying it under the tree where Kevin and Cat carved their initials. He thought she should have a proper grave that those who love her can visit. After he has smoothed the grass back, he collects round stones from the stream to outline the grave then pulls out his knife and carves an epitaph into the bark.

 _Here lies the ashes of_

 _Cat Noel Winchester_

 _Beloved mother, sister, friend_

 _You will be missed, kitten_

When he finishes, he walks to the nearby field where he saw some sunflowers, and returns to place a few on her grave. "I'm sorry we didn't notice how much pain you were in. We're your family and we failed you, I failed you. I remember the first time you got drunk, how you admitted you've suffered from depression and after the hospital you said you only fought for us. That was before all the pain and trauma you suffered, so I can only imagine how you were feeling. A better brother would have been there for you, but I wasn't. I helped contribute to your pain, especially when I kicked you out of the Bunker. I had no right to treat you that way and I'm sorry. I hope you are in heaven with Kevin, you deserve some happiness after the life you've led here. I miss you, little sis."

He continues kneeling there and crying until he hears footsteps behind him. He turns to see Cas looking at the grave and marking with sad eyes. "I thought she should have a grave that we can visit." Sam explains.

"It's perfect Sam, she'd love it." Cas smiles, eyes still sad.

"Did you need something? I'm guessing you tracked my phone to find me."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay and weren't doing anything stupid."

"Are any of us really okay with this? Death or murder is one thing, but this? This is so much worse."

"Dean and I are convinced there was someone else involved. We're going to check out the scene again tomorrow if you want to come. Linda is taking the kids home with her for a few days so 'we can grieve properly without having to worry about them'."

"You really think we'll find something?" Sam asks hopefully.

"We owe it to her to at least look again."

"You're right. Has everyone left?" Sam asks, changing the topic.

"Yes, it's just the three of us now. Are you coming back?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute." Sam waits until Cas has disappeared into the trees before saying, "If someone else caused this, we'll make sure they know the true meaning of torture. You won't be unavenged."

With that, he gets up and quickly catches up to Cas, who had waited just down the path for him. They walk back in silence and Sam takes a quick shower before finally getting some sleep, knowing he will need to be sharp for their investigation tomorrow.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

 **A FEW DAYS EARLIER**

I squeeze my eyes shut as the deep cuts continue pouring out my blood into the bowls Rowena placed under the flows. I can feel myself fading and send a last prayer to Cas before the darkness consumes me and I see Billie once more.

"Can you at least tell me where?" I ask her, unsure which way my soul will be going.

"I can't ruin the surprise. As a Winchester, you should be headed into the Empty, but I've been given orders not to do that to you." she replies, seeming a bit annoyed at that.

"In my defense, I've only died once before now."

"That's one too many. Are you ready to go?"

"I guess." With a single touch, I find myself facing a familiar house. Not seeing anyone else, I knock on the door. I can feel the hope welling in my chest, praying that Kevin will answer the door. As soon as I see him, I throw myself into his arms and just start crying in guilt, sorrow, relief, and joy. He pulls me in and shuts the door before carefully walking to the couch, never loosening his hold on me as I continue to sob into his shoulder.

"Hey Cat, it's okay. I'm here now, you're okay, you're safe." he soothes.

"I missed you so much!" I gasp, trying to stop the tears so I can talk to the man I fell in love with and was going to marry.

"I missed you too, honey. Every one of the memories I relived, was a memory of you."

I finally get enough control to tell him the biggest news and cross my fingers he gives a positive reaction. "I have something to tell you. You're a dad!"

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"What? How?" Kevin asks in confusion as he pulls her back to see if she's joking.

"The night you proposed. Cas says that all the healing power my body has been through made it possible. They're beautiful children, you would love them!"

"Them?"

"Twins. The eldest is Tristan and the youngest is Willow. Tristan looks exactly like you but Sam and Dean say Willow takes after me except for her blue eyes. I wish you could meet them."

"You have no idea how happy this makes me, Cat. I'm a father!" Then he remembers how she must have gotten here. "Are they okay? What happened to you? Is there anyone taking care of them?"

She gets a sad look before saying, "They're fine. I left them in the Bunker with my brothers. Those three, your mom, and Charlie will take great care of them."

"Cat, what did you do?" Kevin asks cautiously. He knows she'd never leave them behind without some big reason. She doesn't look much different so he knows not much time has passed, meaning they're still babies.

"Don't be mad." she pleads. "I made a deal with the witch Rowena. It was either let her use my blood in a year's time, or she'd hunt down and hurt everyone I love. I couldn't be that selfish, Kev, I just couldn't. Now our beautiful babies are orphans and it's all my fault!" She starts crying again and Kevin pulls her back against his chest.

"You did your best, Cat. If I know your brothers, our kids will be well loved and taken care of. I'm sorry for running out that Christmas, if I had stayed, we may have been able to raise them as a family."

"I'm the one who should be sorry. You never would've run if I had done what you asked and cut back on hunting."

"No, honey, no. I wasn't being fair to you. Living through our time together again, I've realized how selfish I was being. You were nothing but loving and supportive of me and I turned around and tried to make you give up something that you loved and gave you purpose. You tried so hard to include me, but I was an ass. Can you forgive me?" As he talks, he watches her face to see the different emotions flitting across it.

"We both screwed up, let's just call it even." Cat offers with a gentle smile. Kevin nods then dips down and connects their lips. She starts kissing back immediately, keeping it slow and passionate.

"Welcome home." Kevin breathes as they rest their foreheads together.

"Thanks Kev. Would you like to hear about our son and daughter?" Cat replies. They cuddle up on the couch and Cat tells Kevin everything about the pregnancy, birth, and the lives of their children.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"So get this, Cat's counterpart, Caitlin, was reported missing a few days before Cat was found." Sam reports after they have already scoured the scene and found nothing but some shoe prints.

"Are you saying Cat could be alive and it was this dimension's Caitlin that was killed?" Dean asks in surprise.

"No, remember the age difference? I think whoever killed Cat took and killed Caitlin then planted her blood at the scene to cover up the fact that they collected Cat's blood." Sam explains his theory.

"So you're thinking witches again?" Dean asks, grimacing at the thought. He's never liked witches, but with how many times they've hurt Cat, he hates them even more.

"Has to be. Only a witch can benefit from her blood and they've been trying to get it since day one." Sam agrees.

"That would explain why the blood was a 100% match, Cat and Caitlin have the same DNA." Dean muses.

"Cat wouldn't like that Caitlin was killed as a cover up." Cas speaks up from his spot on one of the beds in their motel room.

"We'll have to make the witch bitch pay for both of their lives." Dean growls furiously.

"Dean, if the witch has used Cat's blood, they will be far more powerful than any witch you've ever faced. Witch-killing bullets won't work on them." Cas lectures, trying to dissuade him.

"Are you saying we should just let them get away with it? I thought you cared more than that, Cas." Dean exclaims in shock.

"I do care, which is why we can't. Do you want us to get ourselves killed and leave the twins alone?" Cas asserts, hoping he will listen.

"Cas is right, Dean. We need to hunt smart, for the twins' sake. We're their parents now and it's up to us to raise them and make sure they feel loved." Sam agrees, knowing they have to put the twins above everything now.

"Fine, between the missing girl and the suspicious shoeprints, I think we've proven it was murder. Let's head home and let everyone know." Dean concedes and Cas sighs in relief, glad he didn't have to break his promise. He knew they couldn't do anything to Rowena since she was sworn to protect the twins, so he would've had to tell them if they had continued to insist.

Late into their drive home, Sam suddenly says, "At least we know she isn't in Purgatory this time."

"That's true. I still have the occasional nightmare of hunting for her there." Dean shudders.

"She is in Heaven now." Cas smiles.

"How do you know?" Sam questions curiously.

"I don't know for sure, it's just a feeling." Cas clarifies. He wishes he could go up and check, but he's still in bad standing with the other angels.

"I hope she can see Kevin. Those two were practically soulmates. Sure they fought, but every couple in history has had one spat or another. You could tell just from watching them that they truly loved each other." Sam sighs with a smile. He's always envied their love, sad he never got to have that after Jess.

"Geez you're such a girl, but I can't deny what you said." Dean teases, agreeing with his little brother. He's glad she had something like that to balance out all the bad life threw at her.

"It's up to us to make sure their children know this too. They need to know how much love was shared between their parents and how much love Cat had for them." Cas adds, thinking about his promise to Cat.

"If I was betting, I would say the witch used that love against Cat. They probably threatened to hurt them if she didn't cooperate. It would explain why there were no signs of a struggle or of her being restrained." Sam states, extremely close to the truth.

"Probably threatened us too. We all know she would do anything to protect those she loves." Dean agrees, knowing they're right, that she would allow herself to be killed if it protected her family. Her self-sacrificing is just one of the many Winchester traits he wished she didn't have.

Cas is amazed at how close the brothers are to the truth. He hasn't had to tell them a thing, they've figured it out all on their own. _Cat, you have nothing to fear. Sam and Dean have practically figured it out for themselves and aren't mad. I won't confirm their suspicions, but I thought I should tell you how well they know you. I doubt you can hear this, but you are truly loved and cherished by your family._

 ***A YEAR LATER***

"Willow! Slow down!" Dean calls as he chases the energetic girl through the trees. They decided to have a family picnic in Cat's clearing and while Tristan was playing near the stream under Sam's watchful eye, Willow had taken off into the trees with Dean trying to wrangle her back while Cas just laughs.

"You're getting too old for that, Dean." Sam smirks when Dean finally returns with a squirmy little girl in his arms.

"Bite me." Dean snaps back before looking down at the whirlwind in his arms. "Willow, sweetie, you need to stay out of the trees. We need to be able to see you, got it?"

"Yes Unca De."

"Good, go play with your brother." he smiles, ruffling her dark locks after he sets her down. She takes off like a shot and is soon soaked from splashing in the stream.

"She has quite the personality." Cas speaks up from his spot on the picnic blanket, Dean sitting down to join them as they watch the twins play.

"Understatement. I swear that girl is gonna make me gray before I hit 50." Dean groans.

"She takes after her mom." Cas smiles, watching as she splashes Sam, who was helping Tristan build something with pebbles from the stream.

"Cat was never that crazy." Dean huffs, laughing as Sam yelps then turns and splashes her back.

"She was as an adolescent. Her description was 'devil child'."

"Huh, really? Never would've pegged that. Always knew Willow had a lot of Cat in her, not just the looks."

"Yes, Tristan is more like Kevin, though, so it balances out."

"Yeah, he's calm and calculated while she's a raging ball of energy and rash decisions." Dean chuckles.

"She's almost two, isn't it called the 'terrible twos'?"

"Please don't remind me." Dean moans before jumping up and making a run for the toddler who decided to sprint into the trees again. Twenty-two months old and as stubborn as her mother when it comes to doing what she wants.

It's been a challenge to balance babysitting and hunting, but the three men worked out a system to where there is always at least one of them home with the twins at all times. Cas has become quite the hunter in that time, making Dean comfortable to leave him with Sam as back up on hunts while he's on twin duty. They don't take as many hunts as in the past, not wanting to spend too much time away from their little niece and nephew.

"Unca Sam, what that?" Tristan asks as he toddles up to his mom's grave while Sam shadows him.

"That's for mommy."

"Is mommy coming back?"

"No, Trist. Mommy went somewhere she can't return from. She loves you and Willow very much, though. She made sure you had three amazing and handsome uncles to look after you."

"Can you tell me a story about her?"

"Sure, squirt. How about the day we found her? Many years ago, your uncle Dean and I were driving home in the Impala when your mommy appeared in the back seat and scared us! She was fast asleep and we couldn't wake her up so we brought her home and called her Sleeping Beauty."

"Like the princess 'Lo likes?"

"Yeah, exactly like her."

"Was mommy a princess?"

"She was to us."

"I wish mommy was here."

"I wish that, too, squirt. I wish that too."

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Willow? Where are you, 'Lo?" Dean calls frantically. _I lost her! She's going to get hurt and it's my fault for not sticking closer to her._

"Boo!" a high squeaky voice shouts from behind him. He whirls around to see a muddy Willow. He's glad he put his foot down on her wearing her princess dress out here, especially since it's so poofy and yellow.

"Come on, 'Lo. Let's go get your brother and uncles so we can go home and clean you up." Dean sighs with a fond shake of his head at the beaming smile and bright blue eyes of the mud-caked girl.

"Up, up, up!" she shouts while jumping and reaching her arms out. Dean, never able to resist the killer puppy eyes of hers, scoops her up and sets her on his hip as he walks back to the picnic.

"You're getting big, princess." he grunts dramatically.

"I'm a big girl!" she proclaims with a giggle.

"You sure are!" Dean agrees before tossing her in the air.

"Again! Again!" she squeals as he tosses her again before raising her to sit on his shoulders, being extra careful of tree branches overhanging the path they have created from their many trips to Cat's Clearing, as they've decided to call it.

When he makes it back, he sets Willow down and tells her to inform uncle Cas they're leaving, before heading over to where Sam has Tristan in his lap by Cat's grave.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Unca Cas, Unca Cas!" Cas hears Willow shout as she barrels over to him.

"What happened to your clothes!" he laments, seeing the filthy garments.

"Unca Dean says we're leaving." she informs him, ignoring his question.

"Come here, bug, let me clean you up a bit." He pulls some baby wipes out of the bag and proceeds to attempt to clear some of the mud off her face and hands.

"Unca Ca-as!" she whines, trying to get away.

"Good enough." Cas sighs as most of her face and hands are clean. "Would you like to help me pack everything up?" he asks the pouting child. She perks up instantly, and soon everything is packed away. "Great job, bug." he praises, ruffling her hair as she tries to duck away from him.

"Hey Unca Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Where are the cats?"

"What do you mean? What cats?"

"Well you and Unca De and Unca Sam call this cats clearing but I never see no cats."

"Oh, Willow, it's named after your mommy. Her name was Cat."

"Mommy was a cat?"

"No, mommy was very much like you. Cat was the nickname uncle Dean gave her many years ago and she decided she liked it better than her name."

"Was mommy pretty?"

"She was beautiful, bug. After you get a bath, we can go through old pictures of your mom."

"Was daddy pretty?"

"Yes he was." Cas chuckles.

"When are they coming home?"

"I'm sorry, 'Lo. They can't come back, but they love you very much. Would you like to hear a story?"

"Yes! Story time!"

"Once upon a time there was a young woman and a young man, and they were deeply in love with each other."

 ***A MONTH LATER***

Dean is ironing Sam's shirt and sprinkles beer on it before takes a sip from the bottle. While he's doing that, Sam walks in looking at a news article on his tablet. "Oh, perfect. We're gonna need our suits." Sam comments as he sees what Dean is ironing.

"What've you got this time? It's Cas' turn to stay behind so tell me it's something good." Dean exclaims, itching to go on a hunt. Sam hands him the tablet so he can see the article.

"Yeah. Uh, Hope Springs, Idaho. A guy named Wes Cooper killed himself after killing a co-worker. According to the reports, though, nobody knows why. Apparently he was a perfectly happy guy, and then... snap." Sam explains.

"So, what? Possession?"

"Or he was soulless."

"It ain't much, but given what we got, I'll take it." Dean says as he hands the tablet back to Sam. It sounds like a possible victim of Amara and he hopes the mysterious person Cat talked about shows up soon. It seems Amara has recovered from the attempted smiting and has started causing trouble again. He hands Sam his shirt before walking off.

"Thanks." Sam says before catching a whiff of something weird and smells his shirt. "Dude, quit ironing my shirts with beer!" he hollers after his brother, getting a chuckle in response.

 ***TIME SKIP***

A brick is thrown through a window next to Sam as he and Dean try to seal up the police station. The fog is quickly rolling in and more fog starts coming in through the window. Dean is sealing the door that the people are hiding in, so he doesn't notice the danger. Sam picks up a board in order to use it to block the window, but trips and starts to cough even more as he inhales the deadly fog of Amara's creation. Dean turns around and notices Sam and goes to check on him before he can finish sealing the door.

"Sam! Hey! Listen to me!" Dean shouts, worried for his little brother.

"We're not gonna make it." Sam states between coughs.

"No, no, no. There's no quitting here. What about the twins? Tristan would be devastated if his moose uncle didn't come back."

"We're never gonna make it. Amara is going to win." Sam replies blankly.

"Sam, listen to me. That's not you talking. It's the fog. Remember what Cat said? We _will_ win!"

"You were gonna choose Amara over me. Over everything."

"Sam, no!"

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, Dean. I can't fight this. You got to go. You have to get out before you're infected. We can't both die, like you said, Willow would be crushed if King Dean didn't play with her anymore. Cas can't raise them alone, you need to get somewhere safe." Sam says in his normal voice, trying to push Dean away.

"No, I'm not leaving you – ever!" Dean exclaims, standing his ground. He inhales the fog deeply, but there's no effect. He realizes Amara made him immune. He turns at a noise behind him and sees that the fog has reached the people behind the door he was supposed to seal. He becomes furious at this and yells up at the sky, "STOP THIS! YOU HEAR ME, YOU DICK?!"

The screaming and the banging stops suddenly and he turns to Sam. "No. No. No. No. No. No. No! Hey, hey look at me. Look at me. I'm right here. I'm right here. Okay, it's okay. It's all right. I'm right here. I'm right here." he says as he stares at the black veins crawling up Sam's body. Suddenly, a bright glow emanates from Sam's jacket pocket. He reaches in and pulls out something he never thought he would see again. In his hand is what the musical girl called the Samulet, the amulet Sam gave him when they were kids and he threw out during the apocalypse. "You kept this?" he asks Sam, who has started to recover, healing quickly from the fog's effects.

"Of course I did. Dean, you never took that off until Cas practically forced you. I figured one day you might want it back so I grabbed it out of the trash after you left." Sam explains sincerely. "But if it's glowing, that means…"

"God. God finally decided to show up."

"He must have been who Cat was talking about, no wonder she thought we wouldn't believe her! Let's go find him!" They quickly scramble up and set out to find the being they thought had abandoned them. The people walk out of the room unaffected as Sam and Dean walk back outside where the fog has disappeared and people thought dead are getting up. They watch as a man helps a girl up before turning to them.

"Hey guys, we should probably talk." Chuck says, for it is indeed chuck standing right in front of them as the amulet glows extremely bright.

"What the hell's going on here, exactly?" Dean asks, confronting the man they thought was dead when he went MIA after the apocalypse was averted

"I'm happy to... fill in the blanks, but maybe we should go somewhere where we could actually sit down." Chuck suggests.

"We're not going anywhere with you. Okay, how do we even know that you're really Chuck and not just some crazy spell or manifest...ation." Dean trails off as he notices they're in the Bunker. "So you can teleport, good for you."

"I can do much more than that, just wait and see."

"Dean? Sam? Is that you?" Cas calls from the hall, most likely having been watching Dragon Tales with the kids. Cat had insisted that the kids' shows today are lame and had proceeded to buy box sets of all her old favorites, including Clifford, Kim Possible, Arthur, and many more.

"Yeah Cas. Keep the kids back there for now." Sam calls back, Dean too busy having a face off with 'Chuck'.

"Sam? What's going on?"

"Chuck found us and teleported us home. Let us determine he's not dangerous before we let him see the kids."

"Chuck? The prophet Chuck?"

"Yes, Castiel. We'll talk later." Chuck replies before turning back to Dean. "I understand your reluctance to believe, but I am God."

"Just because an amulet glowed doesn't mean you're Cas' deadbeat dad." Dean growls.

"If you won't believe me, maybe you'll believe them." Chuck replies patiently, gesturing to where the door is opening. The brothers gasp in shock at who they see walk down the stairs, unable to comprehend it until they lock eyes and joy floods over them both.

 _ **A/N: I'm in the middle of reading 2 fics on 2 different sites, plus reading the occasional updates on yet another site (I like to multitask, sue me), but I got a review asking for an update, so here you go Tisha. . Hope you all like it. I have no clue how long this fic will be, I have ideas, but not sure if I want to drag it out more or just wrap it up. Let me know your thoughts! Ciao!**_


	15. Chapter 15

**Bring Me to Life**

"Peel!...Peel!...Peel!" I shout, my board expanding tile by tile. I'm in my element, words forming and transforming quickly before my eyes.

"I swear you must be cheating." Kev teasingly complains, his own board changing rapidly at the addition of every new tile.

"Or maybe I'm just a genius, peel!" I shoot back with a wink. There's always friendly teasing banter when we break out the games, especially with Bananagrams. Something about word games really gets us going. We can play this game all day and never get bored, which we have actually done many times over the past year or so.

"You're definitely something." he smirks, foot running up my leg under the table.

"Nuh-uh, no distracting. Hands and feet to yourself, babe, you know the rules. If you want the prize, gotta earn it fair and square." I reprimand with a laugh, knowing exactly what he's doing. The prize is always the same and no matter who wins, we both benefit, but I am extremely competitive by nature and he loves to encourage that.

"Oh you know I can win, peel!" he exclaims with a wink.

"That'll be a neat trick, peel!" I respond. There are only a handful of tiles left so it's down to the wire. With shout of 'Peel!' filling the air until there's only two left. "Peel!" I shout, grabbing one to the tiles. It's an S and I quickly slap it down on a free A with a triumphant "BANANAGRAMS!"

"Rematch?" Kevin suggests, frustrated at another loss.

"Sure, if you want to lose again." I toss back with a devilish grin. This was the tenth game today, with me winning seven of them. "Why don't you just-" I cut off, suddenly extremely dizzy.

"Cat? Honey, what's wrong?" Kevin questions in concern. I sit back down heavily, having sprung up at my victory.

"It's nothing, just got up too fast." I assure Kevin. "Should pass in a moment."

"Cat, we're in Heaven. This sort of thing isn't supposed to be possible." Kevin frets, rushing over to my side. Instead of clearing up, the room starts to spin, making me nauseous.

"Story of my life." I sigh. Figures that even in Heaven I can't catch a break.

"Let's get you up to bed, maybe you just need some rest." He scoops me up and carries me up the stairs. When he reaches our room, he gently tucks me in before crawling in with me. The dizziness and nausea has increased and now includes a killer headache. Cuddling up to Kev's chest, his arms wrapped around me, I try to fall asleep. I'm so uncomfortable that I begin to doubt I can, but a sudden wave of exhaustion sweeps me off to unconsciousness.

Ever since that first day, there's been no negative feelings like pain and sadness and no dreams. Now that everything has been flipped on its head, I appear to be able to dream again. In this dream, I find myself alone in a forest. I scan my surroundings and see what appears to be some sort of animal further in the trees. As it draws closer, I realize it's a dog, in fact, it's the very dog I grew up with. "Buster?" I question, unsure if the basset is truly there. I've dreamed of him before, so it's not odd to see him and when he starts following a path through the trees, I follow him.

When we reach a field, I realize that we are near the Bunker, and the well-worn path was the very same one that leads to the clearing. I continue to follow my guide toward the Bunker, curious about this dream where I can _feel_ everything. I can actually feel the texture of the ground under my feet, feel the softness of the grass. I run my hands over the rough bark of trees we pass in the copse behind the Bunker, marveling at the realistic experiences in this dream.

Soon I'm at the door, not a single person in sight, just the figure of Buster nudging the door. I open the door and he disappears, as if he was never there. I shake my head in confusion and enter the Bunker. My feet are nearly silent as they pad down the steps I've memorized over the many years I lived here. I keep my eyes on my feet, trying not to trip as I start descending to the main floor. I suddenly become aware of other people in the room and pause, eyes darting up and locking with a pair of moss green and then a pair of hazel eyes.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Cat, sweetheart, is it really you?" Dean questions hesitantly, trying not to get his hopes up in case this is a trick. She looks exactly how he remembers. Her dark brown hair falls in waves down her back, wearing her favorite blue flannel, the one they had chosen to dress her in for the funeral. Her hazel eyes seem unfocused, as if she's not really all there, which causes him to hesitate.

Sam starts to approach the frozen woman and startles her into motion. With tears in her eyes, she rushes down the remaining steps and throws herself into his arms. "Please tell me this isn't a dream." she sobs. Dean wraps his arms around her as she lets Sam go and flings herself at him. All three have tears in their eyes as Chuck watches with a fond smile.

"Cat, will you please tell them who I am so that they will believe?" Chuck finally speaks, breaking up the tearful reunion.

Cat looks over at him and then steps away from her brothers. "Sam, Dean, this is God, but he prefers to be called Chuck. I'm sure he wants to talk to y'all alone so I'm gonna go see the rest of my family. I'll talk to y'all later." With that, Cat makes her way toward the TV room where she can hear Scooby Doo playing.

"I fail to understand the value in letting you two watch a show where the monster is always a human when you already know monsters are real." Cas comments to the twins who are snuggled up on either side of him. He's trying to distract them and keep them still while Sam and Dean deal with Chuck. He's not worried, seeing as a prophet isn't much of a threat, so the door remains open.

"Because it's a classic, Feathers." he hears a voice say, a very familiar and teasing voice. His eyes jerk from the TV to the doorway where a ghost from the past is grinning at him.

"Is that you, Honey Bee?" he breathes, not daring to talk above a whisper in case the vision disappears.

"You know I hate that nickname." she groans, still smiling. With that sentence, he jumps up, dislodging the children on his sides, and sweeps her into his arms.

"Cat! You were dead! How are you-?"

"Chuck is actually God. He brought me back to prove his identity apparently. Are those my children? They look so grown up from the babies I last saw." Cat responds, gazing at the wide-eyed children on the couch.

Cas releases his death grip and turns to the twins. "Tristan, Willow, this is your mother."

"I thought mommy wasn't coming back." Willow pipes up in confusion.

"Unca Sam said mommy could never return." Tristan adds, looking at Cat suspiciously.

"I'm sorry I left you two. I never expected to be able to come back, but it was for your safety that I left. I'm so happy your uncles have taken such great care of my precious babies." Cat says with watery eyes. She can't blame them for not knowing her, but there is something she can do to help. With a moment of concentration, she finds and opens the link between herself and the twins, sending all her love and happiness to them.

"Mommy!" they shout together and swarm over, latching onto her legs. The bond reminded them exactly who she was, no longer any doubt in their minds.

Cas watches the happy family, still reeling about Cat returning from the dead after more than a year and the news she brought. His Father is here and he brought her back to them. He had given up on his Father ever showing an interest in the world, much less his little family. Knowing he's just down the hall is unbelievable and he has no idea how to feel about it, which is why he chooses to just watch the joyful reunion in front of him.

Cat kneels down and pulls her children into her arms, tears of happiness running down her face. "Mommy? Why are you crying?" Tristan questions.

"I'm just really happy to see the two of you. I missed you so much!" Cat sobs in reply.

The reunion continues, Cat listening as her children tell her everything she's missed, Cas correcting or adding things they left out in terms of their upbringing. He plans to fill her in on the hunting stuff when Sam and Dean join them. Willow and Tristan have never been shielded from knowing their uncles' lifestyle, something Cat actually set as a rule before they were born. She didn't want them being lied to since they themselves are supernatural beings as well as their mom and one uncle.

Sam and Dean find the four of them cuddled on the couch and watching Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders, one of the few that doesn't revolve around an actual kind of monster. They pause in the doorway, everyone too focused on the movie to notice them, and take in the scene. Cat is curled up against Cas, Willow in Cas' lap and Tristan curled against his other side. Sam scoops up Tristan and plops down next to Cas while Dean settles on the floor in front of Cat.

"Hey guys." Cat greets, smiling at the squeal Tristan made when Sam grabbed him.

"Hey Cat. So I'm guessing that was the guy we had to wait for, the one we wouldn't believe." Dean comments.

"Yup. Told you." Cat responds. "Where is he?"

"He went to claim a room." Sam answers. Tristan and Willow both break into twin huge yawns as the credits roll.

"Looks like it's bedtime. Would y'all like me to read you a story?" Cat suggests as she sits up, Dean scooting over to give her legroom. Receiving enthusiastic responses, she picks Willow up off Cas' lap and holds Tristan's hand as they make their way to the nursery.

Once they've left the room, Dean moves to the other couch while Sam turns the TV off. "So Chuck is God and Cat's back from the dead." Dean states, all of them still trying to wrap their heads around everything.

"I keep feeling like this is some bizarre dream from Amara's fog. Like I'll wake up back in that station." Sam admits.

"She looks so young, beautiful, and happy." Cas sighs. She hadn't looked like that very often, usually looking older and worn down by life.

"Yeah she does." Dean agrees. "I wonder if she remembers Heaven."

"I think we should wait until tomorrow to question her, she seems a bit overwhelmed." Sam points out. They had all noticed this, trying to keep their questions to themselves. "I still can't believe it was Chuck who put her in that trunk when she was lost."

"What?" Cas exclaims in surprise, unaware of this information.

"Oh right, you weren't with us. Apparently Chuck has been interfering to help Cat. He was the one who rescued her from the wilderness and he told us he was the one who instructed the reapers to leave Cat alone when she was close to death with the whole power imbalance." Dean tells him.

"Did he say why? He didn't even lift a finger to help with the apocalypse after all." Cas asks, trying not to seem like a petulant child. He's glad his father helped Cat, but why didn't he help them all the times the world was in danger?

"He wasn't very clear, but he said he liked her, that she was an interesting anomaly." Sam recalls, frowning a bit.

"She truly is special if she can get God to get off his ass and actually pay attention." Dean muses.

"I've always known she was extraordinary, much like the two of you. All three of you have been through so much, but you still keep going, keep fighting." Cas says sincerely.

"Well I'm gonna go get a drink before this becomes any more of a chick flick." Dean grumbles, exiting the room with Sam and Cas following.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

After the twins are asleep, I retreat to my room. Opening the door, I look around to see that nothing has changed. The room is dusty and the air a bit stale, suggesting they've avoided this room. Curious, I open the drawer where the list last was and pull it out. I read over Cas' words, crying once more as I realize how much that must have hurt them all, believing I killed myself is so much worse than them finding out I made a deal, but the damage is done.

I look at my dresser and see the picture of Kevin and I cuddled together. Robotically, I reach up and grab it, taking it to the bed where I sit and stare down at it. I tried to repress my grief during the reunions with my family, but I've lost the love of my life…again. I wonder what happened in Heaven when I was pulled down. Does he know I was brought back or does he think I just disappeared? Does he even know I'm gone? Maybe the memory version of myself is with him now.

I watch as a drop of water falls onto the glass, many more soon joining it as the floodgates open. I should be happy that I get to raise my kids, and I am, but he had been the port in the storm for me for years. It had been so great to be in his arms again, to live without any distractions like hunting. We had been so happy and content to spend eternity cooking, watching movies, playing games, and getting lost in each other.

What had seemed like a blessing before is more like a curse, us being completely aware of our past and knowing exactly where we were. If I hadn't been aware, this wouldn't hurt this much. It's like that Christmas all over again, like a piece of me has been cruelly torn away, leaving a gaping and bleeding wound. It would be better if I couldn't remember our time in Heaven together, it would be kinder. I feel bad thinking that, I should treasure every moment we had together, but it's just too painful right now.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"I think Chuck took your room, Cas." Sam comments as the three men walk down the hall, headed to their rooms.

"I don't need sleep, I'll just check on the twins and Cat."

"Alright, Buddy, goodnight." Dean says, patting him on the shoulder.

"Goodnight Dean, Sam."

As they turn to split off, they hear something crash. Realizing it came from Cat's room, they waste no time in bursting through the door. "Cat? Cat are you okay?" Sam questions as they all scan the room. They see a shattered picture frame on the floor, accounting for the crash, and their sister doubled over on the bed as sobs wrack her body.

"Sweetheart what's wrong?" Dean asks gently as Sam picks up the frame to reveal the shattered glass and the unaffected picture. When they see the picture, they realize what might be causing her so much pain.

"He was there wasn't he, in your Heaven?" Cas says softly.

"W-we were s-so h-hap-py a-and now h-he's g-gone!" she gasps through the tears streaming down her face. The three men all share a look full of sadness and determination. They hadn't been there for her the first time she lost her love, but they would be with her now. Dean and Cas sit down next to her, each wrapping an arm around her. Sam pulls a chair over and sits in front of her, grasping her cold shaking hands in his warm steady ones.

"Just let it out Cat, we've got you." Dean sighs.

"We know it's hard to lose him again, but at least you know you will see him again someday." Cas reminds her.

"You don't have to go through this on your own again." Sam assures, squeezing her hands.

After her first statement, she doesn't say a word. The men watch helplessly as she continues to grieve. They wish for her to open up, but they don't want to force it so they just sit with her and hold onto her until the tears stop and her eyes close.

"Poor kid tired herself out." Dean observes.

"Why would Chuck leave her memories of Heaven? Surely he knew how much they would hurt her." Sam questions, slightly angry.

"Well it's too late now, the damage is done. We just need to make sure she grieves properly this time, no more of that running away bullshit. She belongs here with her family." Dean responds.

"Dean, I don't think that will be a problem now, not with the twins living here. You should have seen all the love and joy of their reunion." Cas sighs with a small smile at the memory.

"I suppose you're right. Let's get her in bed, she can't be very comfortable sandwiched between us." Dean concedes.

They work together to get her changed and tucked in, Cat never so much as stirring. After Sam and Dean go to their rooms, Cas checks in on the twins then wanders the Bunker, lost in thought. He hears what must be Chuck singing as he passes the bathroom, but he ignores it in favor of working through everything that happened in the span of 24 hours.

He soon grows tired of where his mind takes him and he turns toward his solace. Slipping quietly through the door, he takes a seat on the little couch and watches the steady rise and fall of the sheets. In here, his mind settles and he is able to just focus on the lump under the covers, listen to the light sound of air being moved in and out of lungs. Getting up, he approaches the bed and sits near the edge, not wanting to disturb the sleeper.

Cat wakes up in the middle of the night, sweat cooling on her skin as the nightmare fades from her mind. She can feel someone brushing their hand through her hair and humming softly. Not awake enough to pinpoint who it is, she allows the movement and soothing music lull her back to sleep.

Cas continues the calming routine even after he feels her relax back into sleep, humming one of the songs she had recorded for the twins. 'Light in the Hallway' had helped to calm the restless children numerous times, and it seemed to work on their mother too. With a sigh, Cas continues to watch over the vulnerable young woman through the night.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

It's been nearly a week since I returned and now my brothers are all out with Chuck. Dean went to confront Amara while Chuck, Sam, and Cas wait to see if he can convince her to talk. I convinced them I would be fine at home, actually relishing the chance to just hang out with my kids in peace. They've become even more protective and clingy now that I've returned, as if they're afraid I will leave again. It took a lot of reassuring, but I think I finally got through to them. As it grows late, I put the twins to bed with a book and a song before making my way to my own bed. Putting in some headphones, I allow the beautiful piano and cello duet sweep me off to sleep.

I'm rudely awakened when I feel my powers shoved into a box. Terrified, I open my eyes to see a vaguely familiar blonde woman standing over me. I reach to pull out the gun a keep under my pillow, but it's gone.

"Looking for this? Is that any way to greet a guest?" the blonde British woman taunts, holding up my favorite gun.

"Guest would imply being invited, which you were not." I spit at her, trying to run through my best escape plan in my head.

"Semantics. I need you to come with me." she orders.

"Why the hell would I do that? I don't even know who you are!" I reply indignantly.

"Toni Bevell. Men of Letters, London Chapter-house." she introduces. British Men of Letters? Oh no, I remember how I recognize her now. "Oh, you won't have heard of me—us. We're very traditional. Keep out of the way, keep to our studies."

"Then why are you attacking me in my own damn room?" I growl, trying to keep her talking to give myself more time.

"I'm here to take your brothers for questioning. You, however, are going to be studied thoroughly before we decide what to do with you and your children." she reveals and I feel my heart drop.

"Don't you lay a finger on them! Do what you want with me, but leave my family alone!" I scream at her in anger and fear.

"Well that's quite enough chatter. I can't trust you to come willingly so…" Toni thrusts a needle into my neck and pushes the plunger as the world darkens into unconsciousness.

 _ **A/N: Apologies for the late update, S12 binge plus this chapter was fighting me. Definitely not one of my best chapters, but I needed it to be written before I could get to the final portion of this series. I can't say for sure how many chapters are left at this point, but I know it's close to the end. Thank you to everyone who was read and/or reviewed, y'all are the reason this exists, especially you hectatess! Time to start the next chapter, ciao!**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Lost Angel**

Dean watches as Chuck and Amara dissolve into light and dark before disappearing. Now, he is walking through a wooded area with no idea where he is. "Come on. Where the hell am I?" he grumbles as he pulls his phone out and attempts to get signal. Suddenly, he hears a woman's voice.

"Help! Help me!" He follows the sounds and comes to a clearing where there is a blonde woman in a white nightgown looking lost and confused.

"Mom?" he questions, shocked to see his long dead mother standing right in front of him. "I, uh... Are you... really...real?"

While Mary is looking at him, Dean approaches and reaches out to touch her. Mary grabs his arm, throws him to the ground and puts her foot on his neck.

"Where am I? Who the hell are you?" Mary questions him.

"I'm – I'm Dean. Winchester. I'm your son." Dean grunts out.

"No. My Dean is 4 years old." Mary responds in confusion.

Dean, breathing shakily, replies, "I was when you died." Mary releases him as she is hit by memories of her death. Dean continues to talk to her, convincing her that he really is her son. He tells her how she and John met and got married and she finally believes him.

"We should get you home." Dean finally says after they have been talking for a while.

"Is Sam there?" she asks curiously.

"Yeah, he should be there with Cat, Cas, and the twins." Dean answers as he helps her up off the bench.

"Who?" She seems lost and confused.

"Oh sorry, Cas is our friend and Cat is our adopted sister, the twins are her children." he explains.

"John adopted?" she asks in surprise.

"No, Sam and I did. It's a long story but let's get back then we can catch you up." he urges, wanting to see the look on Sam's face when he sees their mom.

"Okay." she agrees.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

I wake up with a pounding headache and no clue where I am. There's no light and I lost my night vison when the Purgatory portion of my soul disappeared. The only thing I can tell is that I seem to be in a metal box that is roughly the same size as I am. I try to fly but it's as if my wings are clipped, which signifies warding limiting my powers but not completely preventing them.

Unfortunately, I soon become aware of something much more pressing. My container has no openings for airflow and I can feel the effects of the thinned air as my breathing becomes more labored. Panicking, I try to scream but the sound bounces so painfully in my ears that I have to stop almost immediately. Slumping in defeat, I try to recall what happened. The fuzzy memory of a British lady in my room floats to the forefront of my mind.

I remember her threatening my family and my heart rate ratchets up in alarm. What if Sam, Dean, and Cas are in a similar state? What if the _twins_ are? I can't feel them, the wards preventing anything reaching past the walls. I send a prayer of warning to Cas, desperately hoping I'm not too late and it will go through. I begin to feel woozy as my breathing becomes more strenuous with the growing amount of carbon dioxide in the air, the oxygen quickly running out. _So this is how I die this time around, asphyxiation in a metal box? At least I know Kevin will be there, but I'll miss the rest of my family. I had so little time with them._ I think before losing consciousness once more.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"You live here?" Mary questions as she and Dean enter the Bunker.

"Yeah, when we're not on the road. It's an old Men of Letters Bunker." he tells her.

"Men of Letters? Yeah. They're a myth. An old Hunter's story." she responds in disbelief.

"Not so much." He chuckles internally at the imagined reaction she would have when he tells her that she married a Legacy. "New duds look good."

"Well, thanks. It's better than walking around in that nightgown the rest-" she cuts off as they catch sight of the blood on the floor. "That's blood." Mary points out.

"Yeah." Dean grunts as he pulls his gun out and cocks it. They follow the smeared trail of blood, Dean calling out, "Sammy? Cas? Cat?" There's no reply and he soon comes to an angel banishing sigil painted in blood on the wall. Worried, he back tracks, pulls a gun concealed under the war room table, and hands it to his mom, ordering her to stay there as he goes to investigate the hall leading to the bedrooms.

He checks Cat's first, finding signs to suggest she was removed unwillingly, her gun missing from under her pillow and the covers dragged across the floor. Fearing the worst, he rushes into the nursery and is relieved to see the twins sleeping peacefully in their cribs. Whomever broke in obviously had an agenda that spared the children. Snagging the key from its hook by the door, he locks the door securely behind him, just in case the kidnappers are still in the Bunker.

Walking quickly but quietly, he makes it back to the main room just in time to prevent his mom from shooting Cas. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! It's okay. It's okay. He's a friend, alright? Hey, Cas."

"Dean!" Cas says in relief, pulling him into an embrace. He had been worried about him going to face the Darkness alone. Cat had assured him it was safe, but he had his reservations.

"Where is Sam and Cat?" Dean questions anxiously.

"They're not here?" Cas responds worriedly.

"Are you a hunter?" Mary questions him. Dean never explained much, just mentioned he was a friend.

"No, I'm an angel." Cas corrects her.

"Come again?" she responds.

"An Angel, with a-a capital 'A'. You know, wings, harp." Dean tries to explain.

"No, I don't have a harp." Cas assures her.

"This is Castiel. Cas, this is...Mary. Winchester." Dean finally introduces.

"Your mother." Cas breathes in shock, recognizing how big this is. It's not often someone whom has been dead for decades suddenly comes back from the grave. He would be suspicious, but he trusts Dean to have run all the tests and he can't sense anything off about the woman.

"Yeah. So, wait, uh, where -where is Sam? He's not answering his phone, there's blood on the floor, and Cat's missing too. What's going on? Dean interrogates him.

"I don't know. We came back here, there was a woman waiting for us. She blasted me away. I don't know who she was. I don't know what happened to Sam or Cat. Are the twins okay?" Cas answers.

"I don't understand. What happened?" Mary speaks up.

"Okay, well, the Bunker's empty besides the twins in the nursery, so - so they've obviously left here. You said woman - not an angel, not a demon, a-a human." Dean continues.

"She was human." Cas confirms.

"Why would a human break in and kidnap Cat and Sam? It makes no sense. If it was just Cat, I'd say witch, but why would they take Sam too?" Dean ponders.

"Wait. Why would your adopted sister be more likely to be taken then Sam?" Mary questions, confusion and wariness reflected in her face.

"It's all part of that long story that I promise to tell you, but right now we need to find them." Through questioning Cas and hacking the traffic cams, they figure out the vehicle that took Sam and Cat. Dean places a call to Charlie who quickly agrees to drive down to take care of the twins while they hunt down the people dumb enough to take not one, but two Winchesters. As they head toward the garage, they hear a loud pounding on the door.

Mary and Dean draw their guns and aim at the door while Cas carefully pulls it open on the off chance Sam or Cat escaped. The person standing there, however, is completely unexpected. "Kevin?" Dean gasps as he lowers his gun, his mom following suit as she recognizes the young man must be a friend.

"Dean! Thank God! I woke up in some clearing and was stumbling around for hours before I found my way here. Is Cat here? She disappeared from our Heaven after she started feeling sick so I assume she was brought back." Kevin rambles as he walks in, Cas shutting the door behind him. "Who's that?" he gestures to Mary.

"My mom. I'm guessing when Amara brought her back, Chuck brought you back as well." Dean answers the last question. He doesn't know how to break it to the newly revived boy that his fiancé was taken mere hours ago.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Winchester. So where's Cat? Is she with the children? Are they okay?" Kevin fires off again excitedly.

"Kevin, Cat and Sam were taken by a human. We were about to set out to track them down when you knocked. Your children are safe in the nursery and Charlie will be here in a half hour to watch them." Cas tells him.

"Taken?" Kevin's face pales.

"Don't worry Kev, we'll get her and Sam back. You should stay here with the twins." Dean tries to reassure him.

"I want to help! I can't lose her again, Dean. I won't let it happen." Kevin argues.

"Sorry, I know this is all very emotional, but the longer we wait, the further away they get." Mary interrupts.

Dean gives Kevin a stern look and presses an old iron key into his hand. "Take care of the twins. They should get to know their father." Kevin sighs in defeat and is guided to the nursery before the trio heads to the garage.

POVPOVPOVOVPOV

The next time I wake up, I realize that one, I'm not dead and two, I'm no longer in that horribly confining box. The sound of a door jolts me completely awake and I open my eyes. The room I'm in is completely blank and empty save for the cot I'm lying on and the blanket draped over me. The walls and floors are a sterile white lit harshly by fluorescent bulbs, making it almost blinding. Heels click on the tile as a woman approaches me.

She's dressed similarly to the woman who took me, brown hair pulled back severely into a bun and pantsuit perfectly pressed. "Good you're awake, now we can start." Definitely a British accent, where am I?

"Wh-where am I?" I croak, throat dry and raspy.

"That's classified information, HA-28-CNW725." she replies crisply.

"Excuse me?" I have no idea what the hell those numbers and letters mean that she just used to address me, because there is no doubt that's what she was doing.

"Classified, as in not for you to know." she explains slowly, like I'm a child.

"No, what's with the weird letters and numbers?" I clarify in frustration at her treatment.

"That is your identification." she replies like one would say 'the sky is blue' as if it's an undisputed fact instead of a demeaning insult.

"I have a name!" I protest in anger.

"Monsters do not have names. You will answer to HA-28-CNW725 from now on. Failure to do so will result in punishment." she sneers in disdain.

"Screw you, I'm not a monster and you're not touching me!" I reply vehemently, loathing her already.

"I'm afraid you have no choice in this regard. You will be escorted to and from the labs for various tests to allow us to study you. You _will_ participate whether by choice or force, but failure to comply will result in physical punishment and extreme disobedience will result in a tranquilizer." she lays out in a voice that just screams pretentious bitch.

"I'm not doing anything until I know my family is safe." I state firmly.

"We did not kill anyone and you were the only one brought here. This can change if you become difficult, children are much easier to manipulate." her voice changes with the threat, almost menacing.

"No, I'll do what is required, just don't hurt them!" I plead with her. I'll do anything to keep my family safe, something I'm sure she knew and was using to manipulate me.

"Very well. Come with me HA-28-CNW725, it's time for your first examination." Two heavily armed men follow us as we walk down the windowless hallway and stop at a door marked with only the odd letter and number combination BML-2847-DL. The lady knocks and the door is opened by an older gentleman in a lab coat.

"Is this HA-28-CNW725?" he addresses the lady.

"Yes, she should be no trouble but I will leave Chadwick and Rowland here in case she gets any ideas."

"Thank you, Lady Blyth." he says before the men, Chadwick and Rowland, push me in and secure the door behind me. "You will need to change into a hospital gown, there is a screen set up in the corner for you to change behind. When you're finished, leave your clothes there and take a seat on the examination table." he instructs me, shoving a gown in my hands. I quickly shuffle over to the thin screen as directed and then take a seat on the frigid stainless steel table. I try to calm my racing heart, knowing that this doctor examination will most likely be the least of my problems. I have no fantasies of the tests Lady Blyth mentioned being anything remotely easy or painless, especially if they insist on treating me more like a lab rat than a person, even stripping me of my name.

"Excuse me, what exactly is going to happ-" The rough slap is unexpected and tears well in my eyes as I stare fearfully at one of the armed men, wondering why he slapped me.

"You will not speak unless spoken to." he growls out. _So I was punished for breaking a rule I hadn't been made aware of, this is going to suck._ I duck my head in acknowledgement and remain silent, trying to avoid any more punishment. My only hope for escaping is if I go along with what they want and bide my time. There's no way I'm going to leave my family again so soon.

"That's not necessary, Chadwick." The old doctor says easily before turning to me. "I will be taking various samples and performing many medical tests to determine your physiology. As the first of your kind, you can provide invaluable information." _So most likely a lot of needles and invasive procedures, fantastic_. "Let's start with blood, skin, and saliva samples." he continues.

By the time I'm literally dragged back to my cell, I have undergone every ethical and unethical procedure I've ever heard of and then some. My body is too weak and sore to support my weight, the electric shocks making my muscles useless as they spasm. Chadwick and Rowland toss me on the cot then leave, the door whirling as the locks fall into place. No longer needing to be on my guard, I sink into the blissful rest of unconsciousness, leaving the memories of my harrowing exam behind in the sterile cell.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"We never should have let them leave, Cat's not here!" Dean rages, punching a hole in the wall in frustration. The limey Brits had sworn she was in the farmhouse, but they had obviously lied and now they're gone.

"We'll find her, Dean. You guys found me after all." Sam tries to placate his brother.

"That's the problem, we looked at everything we could find on those British dicks to find you. This was the only place they bought and the trail only led here." Dean stresses.

"Wait, we were working on the assumption that Cat and Sam were taken together. What if that isn't the case?" Cas comments thoughtfully.

"I didn't even know she was missing until you guys told me. Maybe she was taken first." Sam suggests.

"Come on, the laptop is in the car." Dean grunts and they all follow him to the car where he pulls out the laptop while Sam retrieves one of their phones to do his own research. "Okay, this was the car that took Sammy." Dean points at the frozen video that displays the car they recently tracked down on their rescue mission.

"Back it up and see if any other vehicles were out that late at night." Sam instructs as he pulls up a map of the area surrounding the Bunker.

"There!" Mary exclaims as they see another identical vehicle leaving the area nearly an hour before Sam's.

"It's heading in a different direction. What's that way?" Dean asks Sam since he has the map.

"Let me look." Sam states, locating the correct street and zooming out to see where it leads. "Shit, that's where the airport is."

"They put her on a plane?" Cas questions worriedly. A plane means she could be anywhere in the world, making it very difficult to search for her.

"It's the same damn flight they came in on, which means the flight plans are sealed." Dean fumes as he looks up flights that left around that time.

"Perhaps Charlie can find the manifest." Cas suggests.

"That's a great idea, Cas! Good thing she's already at the Bunker. I bet Kevin could help too." Dean exclaims excitedly, glad to have a plan of action.

"Wait, Kevin?! He's alive?" Sam responds in shock, not having been told.

"Yeah, Chuck brought him back when Amara brought mom. He and Charlie and watching the kids and he's not going to like the news that Cat is in the wind. We need to find her, and quick. If they tortured you, I hate to imagine what they will do to a supernatural being. We've both read the Men of Letters files, they weren't exactly known for playing nice with anything remotely supernatural." Dean explains.

"Let's go then, every second counts for her." Mary urges. She may not know the woman, but she can see how much she means to these men.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

I'm once more escorted to a room, this one labeled BML-6543-TL. The door opens to reveal a large tank set up in the middle of the room. There are various wires running to it and I have a very bad feeling about this. Still in only a hospital gown, my clothes having never been returned, I stand nervously as I watch people scurrying around the room. They appear to be checking the tank and the controls the wires connect to.

Finally, one of the lab coats dismisses the people he was talking to and strides confidently over to me. "Subject HA-28-CNW725 I presume?" he asks me, my guards standing intimidatingly on either side of the door behind me.

"Y-yes." I stammer, still eyeing the tank.

"Wonderful! Please follow me." He turns and heads toward the tank. As we round the corner of it, my stomach drops. "Stand here and hold still." he directs, pointing to a stretcher that is outfitted with restraints. I hesitate to obey and feel a sharp painful shock from the band fastened on my ankle. Startled, I stumble over and stand as still as a statue while they secure me to the stretcher that is attached to a crane.

Once I am completely immobilized on the slab, they start to hook up different cords to my body and place something between my teeth. "These are transmitters that will monitor your reactions." the main lab coat says. When they finish, he gives the signal and the crane whirls to life. As I feared, I am lowered into the empty tank, hanging a few feet from the bottom as the machine jerks to a stop.

I try to calm myself as I hang suspended in what I now realize is a two-way mirrored tank. I can't see anything outside, only my terrified reflection staring back at me. They had lowered the stretcher at what I estimate is a 45-degree angle so I can see the moment water starts seeping in. I try to steady my breathing and heart rate as I watch the water level rise. They want to monitor my reaction and I can't let them know how truly frightened I am.

I school my expression into a blank mask as the water begins to lap at my bare feet. It becomes harder and harder to refrain from panicking as the water continues to rise past my waist, the temperature surprisingly warm, bordering on hot. I take deep breaths as it continues to rise to my chin, anticipating no longer being able to breathe, but it stops.

Confused, I wait for the inevitable shoe to drop. If my time with the doctor taught me anything, it's that these British Men of Letters have no regard for my humanity nor do they care if I suffer in the name of their research. With that in mind, I refuse to relax, though I give a very convincing façade of having done so. Manipulation and false obedience is the only way I will catch them off guard. If they think I'm broken, they won't expect me to fight back. If they had done their research, they'd know how much pain and suffering I've endured and how this, this is nothing, a mere tiny scratch in the face of everything else.

I must have convinced them I was relax, because suddenly it felt like every nerve ending was lighting up. I bite down hard on the rubber in my mouth as the electric shock passes through my body. _These brits sure do have an electricity fetish._ I think to myself as I recover. As soon as they put the rubber between my teeth, I knew I was going to be shocked. The next shock comes and is slightly stronger, meaning they're ramping up the voltage each time. I can't begin to fathom what purpose this serves, but I can only hope it won't last too long.

An unknown amount of shocks later, I can barely remain conscious. They've been very slowly upping the voltage and the last one came very close to making me follow in Dean's footsteps of having a heart attack before even reaching thirty. I keep praying to feel the crane lift me, but I've remained mostly submerged. Screaming in agony past the rubber, I feel my heart give out as I plunge into blackness.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"What do you mean she wasn't there? You said you would find her and Sam! Well there's Sam, so where is she?!" Kevin shouts as Dean breaks the news.

"We _will_ find her, Kevin. Don't forget, she was our sister before you even met her. We'll do whatever it takes to locate her and bring her back home, but we're going to need your help. We need you and Charlie to hack a sealed flight manifest." Dean assures him.

"You think they put her on a plane?" Kevin questions worriedly, coming to the same conclusion Cas did about how hard this will be.

"That's where all the evidence is pointing, but they have diplomatic immunity which makes this that much more difficult." Dean confirms.

"Tell me the truth, Dean. Do you think she is going to be okay?" Kevin asks seriously. Dean knows more about her circumstances than him, so he'll have a better idea of her chances.

"I don't know, Kev. We just have to hope she will be." Dean sighs, exhaustion painfully clear in his face.

"I don't want to lose her again. We have a second chance to be a family now, something we both want. Our time together in Heaven made us realize just how much we were missing and how much we wished we could change that. Chuck made that possible and I won't anything ruin it again. No matter what, we are going to find her and she's going to survive this. She's strong, I have faith in her." Kevin tells him.

"Yo, Kevin Solo, come help me save our damsel in distress!" Charlie calls from where Sam was filling her in at the war room's table. She's already got her computer set up and is tapping away.

"Go, Cas'll take care of Tristan and Willow. You focus on bringing their mother home while Sam and I try to catch ours up." Kevin turns to join Charlie while Sam and Dean hunt down their mother. They had Cas set her up in a room while they filled Charlie and Kevin in, so they head there first. The room is empty so they decide to check every room.

They find her in the nursery with Cas, changing Tristan's diaper as he talks animatedly with her about how his mommy and daddy returned after being gone for a long time. "Daddy said he and mommy were in the sky! I knew mommy could fly, but not daddy! Do ya think me and 'Lo could fly?"

"Hey Squirt! Are you excited about your daddy being here?" Sam asks the talkative young boy.

"Yes! Daddy is so cool and he told us stories!" Tristan squeals.

"He did?" Dean asks with a smile.

"Yeah!" Willow pipes up from where Cas is trying to wrangle her into her footie pajamas. "Daddy tells awesome stories about a princess and a mean old witch!"

"That does sound awesome! Is it okay if we take our mom for a bit? I bet if you ask her nicely, she will read you a story tomorrow." Sam offers, Mary nodding in agreement.

"Please, Mary!" the twins plead.

"Of course, but right now you need to let Castiel dress you and then go to sleep. Can you do that for me?" Mary asks with a soft smile.

"Yes Mary." they agree.

"Good, goodnight you two." she says.

"Night Mary!" they chorus.

"They love you, if you read to them, they'll be your friends for life." Dean chuckles as they head to the kitchen.

"They're sweet children, their mom did an amazing job with them." Mary smiles. Mothering toddlers is something she can do. Mothering her two sons who are suddenly grown men? That's much trickier.

"She did the best she could even though she thought she'd be a horrible mother. Dean, Cas, and I have been raising them for a year while she was in Heaven." Sam tells.

"There have been a lot of resurrections." she comments in shock. Three by her count and that's three more than she ever expected.

"Yeah, you and Kevin are new to it, but this was Cat's second time and there were a few close calls as well." Dean admits, shocking her further.

"You two are surprisingly comfortable with all of this." she observes.

"We're not strangers to dying and coming back, we've both done it a few times ourselves." Sam explains.

"What?" Mary questions, eyebrows raised.

"Okay, maybe we should start small. What would you like to know first?" Dean interrupts, realizing they're overwhelming her.

"Who is Cat and how did she become your sister? I've noticed how fondly all of you talk about her and I've met her children so I'm curious." she responds inquisitively.

"There's a lot to tell so we'll start from the beginning. Sammy and I were driving down the road when she suddenly appeared in the back seat and I almost crashed in surprise." Dean starts as they sip beer that Sam pulls out of the fridge.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

I wake up shivering and damp on the floor. My muscles are still cramping from the shocks and I'm surprised I'm even alive. "Rise and shine, HA-28-CNW725! It's time for your next test." Lady Blyth trills as she clicks into my cell, the heavy steps of Chadwick and Rowland behind her. I haven't had enough time to recover the ability to move or hold myself up so they roughly haul me up and drag me down the hall. We enter the same room with the tank and I begin to shake.

"P-please n-n-no! P-p-pleas-" a sharp jolt and a slap cut me off as I'm dragged to the torture tank. This time the transmitters are attached as I'm held up. Once the swarming lab coats step back, Rowland throws me over his shoulder and begins to climb up a ladder on the side of the tank. He descends to the bottom and drops me unceremoniously on the floor with a growled threat to stay as he climbs back out.

When he reaches the edge and begins climbing down outside, a crane begins to lower a large slab that I hadn't noticed until then. It is roughly the length and width of the tank. With mounting horror, I realize it's a lid. They're going to drown me and I'm going to die. They decided they didn't need any more tests and are getting rid of me.

My fears are confirmed when the slab seals the tank shut and water begins to steadily pour in. My quick healing properties give me the strength to stand as I begin to calculate my best chance for survival. My eyes fall on the ladder and I immediately head toward it, planning to climb to the top and hope I can shift the lid. Maybe that's the test, see if I can find a way out of this scenario.

Confident in my conclusion, I reach out and grab a rung to pull myself up. Before I can, however, it becomes electrified and I fall back with a curse, which earns me a shock from my band. _Freaking lab coats and their freaking electric shocks!_ I think angrily as I begin trying to formulate a new plan as the water swiftly become chest deep. Failing to see any possibility of escape, I tread water as it rises high enough to force me to swim or drown. _Why are they doing this?_ I think mournfully as the top gets closer and closer.

That's when I realize exactly what they're doing. They're trying to see how much I can take before I'm pushed to the brink of death. With my powers being able to heal me, I can't die except by the same methods used on angels and demons. I begin to hyperventilate as it sinks in that I'm in Hell here. They won't stop and will probably get more creative as they study me like a damn specimen instead of the person that I am.

As the water closes over my head, out of space to escape it, I resign myself to my fate. If they continue taking me as soon as I wake up, I'll never be strong enough to fight my way out of the facility. My only hope is my brothers discovering where I was swept off to. I have so much faith in them, but this place has all the makings of a secret government facility. If it is, how could they possibly get to me? This isn't the movies or a story, maybe I'm just not meant for a happy ending. I had it with Kevin in Heaven, but then Chuck brought me back and I thought _Maybe this will be my happily ever after._

Flailing underwater as water fills my lungs, I send the usual prayer to Cas as well as a plea to Chuck. If he had left me in Heaven, I wouldn't be here now. This is his fault and if he truly liked me as he claimed, then he would fix it. Black begins encroaching on my vision, signaling my eminent black out. With the last of my strength, I face where I think the lab coats are and raise my hand in a one-finger salute. The last thing I feel is a sharp shock to my ankle as darkness takes over.


	17. Chapter 17

**Safe and Sound**

"When is mommy coming back, Unca Cas?" Willow questions as he tucks her in. They just celebrated her second birthday, Tristan's having been the day before. While they had been happy to have their dad there, both missed their mother terribly. They aren't the only ones, of course. Their uncles, dad, and friends had all tried to make it memorable, but Cat's absence hung like a dark cloud over everyone. The first thing said to the brothers as guests appeared was 'Any news?' or 'Any leads?' and the like.

With her being missing for almost a month with no hint besides knowing she was taken overseas by the British Men of Letters, they're beginning to lose hope of ever finding her. The manifests had proven almost completely unhackable. Charlie managed to figure out it was returning to Europe, but couldn't find which country or airport. The assumption is that she's in England, but that's only because they were British. Basically, they haven't found anything and tensions are high in the Bunker.

"I'm sorry, bug, I don't know." Cas sighs tiredly.

"Is she ever gonna come back?" Willow asks sadly.

"I hope so." Cas replies.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

Cat feels like she's been there forever. Her captors like to mix it up occasionally and _not_ try to kill her, but sometimes those are worse. Always incredibly painful, both physically and mentally, it's hardly a step up from dying. Their favorite is turning her and watching as she suffers, body purging the monster infection from her blood. They've even forced her to eat whatever the monster requires to typically be incurable. She has long stopped thinking of them as tests like the lab coats insist. She sees it as what it truly is, torture.

 _Do they want to try to transfer some of my abilities to themselves? Is that why they constantly have transmitters hooked up and even one inserted under my skin? It would explain the multitude of sample drawings I've had. They must have tons of vials full of blood, skin, marrow, and spinal fluids._ She thinks on one of her more lucid moments. Her only relief is when they decide to 'interrogate' her. In those sessions, she's put into a drugged stupor as they sift through her memories, causing her to see them vividly. She thanks Chuck every time that she doesn't know anything sensitive or dangerous since she has zero control over what can and cannot be found. Some sessions are terrible, especially the ones that bring her worst memories and nightmares to the top and make her practically relive them.

"HA-28-CNW725, good." says the next of Cat's torturers. She has long given up trying to tell all the lab coats apart, so for all she knows he's tortured her before. The problem with constantly 'dying' is that your body doesn't have time to fully recover. Typically, this results in the bodyguards having to drag her to the next session while she's still incredibly weak and confused. They haven't given her even a scrap of food or a taste of water since being kidnapped and it's taking its toll. The only rest she gets is when she's unconscious. All this adds up to being at the mercy of her captors, unable to stand on her own or even think clearly.

She hangs limply between Rowland and Chadwick as they once again hook her up then drag her over to a tarp laid out in the middle of the room. She dozes off, beyond sleep deprived, but is jolted awake by a cruel shock to her ankle that causes her muscles to spasm. Looking around, she sees a man standing in front of her. He has a cold look to him and her eyes focus on the cross tattooed on his hand. Said hand is currently holding a revolver and pointed unerringly at her heart.

She had expected them to stop with the weapons since they should know by now that only angel or demon killing tactics will work on her. Personally, she thinks they just enjoy this. They claim it's 'in the name of science and research', and maybe it was at first, but this has skipped past research and is firmly nestled in torture for the sake of torture. Having long lost hope of ever being rescued, she has resigned herself to this fate. She never resists anymore, seeing no point in fighting the inevitable. Often, as soon as they put her into whatever situation they want, she retreats into herself, leaving just a shell to endure the horrors.

A signal from the tattooed man has the guards dropping her arms, causing her to crumple to the ground. "Get up." the man sneers. Feeling yet another shock, she tries to push up into at least a sitting position, but her arms give out, too weak and noodle-like to support her weight. Everything hurts as her powers try to heal all the damage done over the course of her captivity. Grace and demon power alike constantly attempting to fix the never-ending flood of injuries, both fatal and flesh wounds. She has a multitude of scars, healing power being stretched thin trying to keep her alive by focusing on the most immediate injuries first.

A hand roughly grabs her long hair and drags her to my knees, continuing to hold her up like that. "That will do nicely. You really are pathetic, aren't you? It's a waste for so much power to be contained in such a frail vessel." the man says as he once again levels the gun at her heart before pulling the trigger.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Come on, come on, YES!" Charlie shouts from her spot in the War Room. Grabbing a marker, she quickly circles a spot on the map.

"Charlie? Did you find something?" Dean questions in a mumble, coffee grasped tightly in both hands as he shuffles over to her. By this point, Cat has been gone for 13 weeks, 5 days, and 6 hours, but who's counting? During that time, Charlie has worked tirelessly to discover where her best friend is with the help of Kevin.

Sam, Dean, and Cas have also been working their own angles. Dean tried every single contact they have, Sam has buried himself in research, and Cas has been trying to talk to the angels to see if they know where she might be. They even tried Rowena, but still have no leads, the witch unable to even sense if she was still alive. Luckily, an angel assured Cas that she isn't in Heaven and Crowley confirmed the same for Hell. With all three of them rolling snake eyes, they've tried to distract themselves with hunting and taking care of their niece and nephew. Mary has long since left the Bunker to come to terms with her new life, but she keeps in contact with her sons.

"I know exactly where Cat is." Charlie grins.

Dean drops his coffee in shock and rushes over to her side. "Where?" he demands in a voice full of pain and hope.

"Right there. There is a top secret government facility located in that area." Charlie tells him excitedly.

"GUYS! GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE! CHARLIE FOUND CAT!" Dean bellows. The sound of scrambling, doors being flung open, and the pounding of feet herald the arrival of Sam, Cas, and Kevin. "Alright Charlie, explain how you found her." Dean instructs once everyone is in the room.

"Well the flight manifest was a bust as you know, so I decided to try a different approach. Since that lady said she was part of the British Men of Letters' London Chapterhouse, I decided to focus my efforts on that. I found them through some reliable tips and hacked their database. From there I found where they scheduled a pick up and delivery on the day Cat was taken. It gave the time of arrival and coordinates to the pick up area. When I entered the coordinates, it showed a private airstrip in England, like we suspected. I hacked the security feeds and saw a long metal box loaded into a black van and I got the license plate from it. Turns out it belongs to the government so that was a dead end, however, I was able to find a trail through weekly reports on a subject labeled HA-28-CNW725 that leads to a top secret facility." Charlie explains as she shows the image of the facility on her screen.

"If it's 'top secret', how do you know about it?" Kevin asks in trepidation. He doesn't want to get his hopes up too much in case this proves to be a trick by the people who took his beloved Cat away.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." Charlie says with a wink. "But seriously, this is legit and I went through a lot of extremely illegal channels to get this information. She's there, and if what I read in those reports is accurate, we need to save her as soon as we can." She looks grave as she says these words. She had to read through a few of the reports to confirm it was Cat and what she read was nauseating, even in the concise and clinical writing of scientists.

"We need to book a flight." Sam states, walking over to his tablet in the library and typing away to purchase the tickets.

"We'll need weapons, but they'll never make it through airport security. Any suggestions?" Dean asks the remaining three people gathered.

"Didn't you and Sam work a case with a hunter from Ireland? Maybe she could help." Charlie replies thoughtfully.

"Oh yeah! Hey Sam!" Dean shouts into the other room.

"Yeah?" Sam shouts back.

"You still have a way to contact that hunter chick from the retirement home case?" Dean questions.

"Eileen? Yeah, why?" Sam looks up in confusion, not able to see what she has to do with rescuing Cat.

"Think maybe she could help us when we cross the pond? We at least need some weapons, she doesn't have to fight." Dean relays Charlie's suggestion.

"That's a great idea! I'll text her." Sam exclaims, whipping out his phone to do just that.

"Okay, so tickets, weapons. Is there anything else I'm missing?" Dean turns to the group.

"Passports. I know I don't have one, but I don't know about the rest of you." Kevin remembers.

"Shit, you're right. Sammy and I have one, but you and Cas will need one too. We should probably get one for Cat as well in case she can't fly." Dean muses, adding it to his mental checklist for the mission.

"And me." Charlie pipes up, causing Dean to look at her in surprise.

"You're staying here." he states.

"I need to be close to the building to hack their server, which is the only hope you guys have of storming the castle." Charlie counters, standing her ground.

"Fine, but you're staying out of the building when we go in." Dean surrenders. He knows she'll be a big help on the computer and technology front, he just doesn't want her to get hurt. She's like their unofficial sister and he can't stand the thought of her being injured or killed.

"I'll call my mom and let her know we're dropping the twins off with her then." Kevin announces as he pulls his phone out, dialing his mom up and filling her in on what's happening

"Okay, Charlie? Any contacts that can get us some good fake passports on short notice?" Dean asks the perky red head who has dived back into typing like lightning on her laptop.

"Way ahead of you, I think I know just the guy." she grins, never even slowing down.

 ***TIME SKIP***

"Charlie, we need the door labeled BML-8764-FTL opened. The guys guarding it are down but their handprints won't open it. It's the only door being guarded so we're certain Cat is in there." Sam relays over the com system they set up. The three men managed to convince Charlie and Kevin to stay in the van hidden in the trees and deal with hacking the mainframe. Kevin had fought, wanting to be there when they found Cat, but a reminder of his lack of experience with a weapon and his skills with computers, he agreed. Turns out it was an extremely important job, every single door having a scan pad lock that they had to unlock with a series of codes and hacking.

"Alright, it should turn green in a second." Kevin confirms. "Don't forget our deal." The deal is that they will tell him the moment they find her and describe her condition since he is unable to be with them.

"Okay, Cas will open the door while Sam and I keep our guns aimed and ready to shoot as soon as it's open. No firing unless you're sure they're a threat. We don't want to accidentally shoot Cat." Dean orders, the men getting into position. "Ready Cas? One, two, three!"

Cas pulls open the door as Sam and Dean take in the room. Nothing could have prepared them for what they see behind the door. Flames and smoke fill the room, the intense heat of it slapping them in the face. "Oh my God, do you see Cat?" Sam's horror filled voice crackles across the headset, both brothers having already rushed into the room and split up. The smoke and heat make everything hazy while the fire makes it dangerous. Each of them carefully find a path through the inferno, muttered curses and constant check ins with each other filtering through the coms.

"I found her! We need to get out of here before it's too late!" Cas proclaims, having been right on their heels. He leaves off her condition, wanting them to focus on getting to safety, not on the burned shell in his arms, wrapped up in his trench coat to help protect from the flames licking across the floor. Charlie had explained the tests, told them that they used different methods to kill her, but that she always came back due to her powers. While she may have no pulse, not even a glimmer of life, he can sense her powers within, knows they will bring her back, though he can feel how weak they are.

"Is she okay? What's happening? Guys?" Kevin's frantic voice breaks through Cas' thoughts as he maneuvers around the flames.

"She's unconscious and we are removing her from a burning room." he reports, keeping his promise to the hysterical boy.

"How bad is it, Cas?" Dean asks in controlled concern.

"It's….it's not good, but she will survive. How close are you two to getting clear?" Cas returns.

"We both made it out, but I think the Brits know we're here now." Sam replies, the sound of gunfire in the background.

"We'll hold them off, just get her out of there!" Dean grunts, the sound of fighting filling the silence of voices and urging Cas on. He finally bursts through the door to find the brothers facing both ways, bodies scattered across the hall.

"Let's go before backup arrives." a slightly singed and sooty Dean barks as they rush towards the exit, Cas cradling the limp body in his arms close to his chest. Many more bodies hit the ground as they barrel on, not even caring if they are humans. They've read and seen exactly what these 'humans' have done to their innocent little sister, they may as well be monsters.

When they finally make it to the van, Dean peels out with Sam in the passenger seat. Cas settles his trench-wrapped burden onto the small cot they had the foresight to bolt to the floor. He sits on the floor beside it, keeping a gentle but firm hold as the van rockets around corners. Charlie and Kevin are in the back too, both buckled up in front of their strapped down gear. They look worriedly at the unmoving lump curled up under the coat.

"She will recover, she just needs rest." Cas assures them.

"Can I- can I see her?" Kevin stutters, both overjoyed to have her back and terrified about what condition she may be in.

"I don't think that would be wise. When I found her, she was mostly consumed in flames. It isn't how she would wish to be seen." Cas replies solemnly.

"She means everything to me, Cas. Let me see her. Let me confirm to myself that she's really back with us." Kevin pleads, tears gathering in his eyes.

Cas reaches over and carefully peels back his coat, quickly replacing it with a blanket stored under the cot. The glimpse Charlie and Kevin get of her severely burned and skinny body causes horrified gasps to escape them, both tearing up in the knowledge of her suffering. "How could they do that to her?" Kevin asks quietly, staring at her gaunt face. There are small burns on her neck and cheeks, her hair has been burned short, hovering over her shoulders where it once flowed to her waist. The blanket covers the worst damage, but they all know what's there.

Soon, a phone rings and Charlie grabs it, putting it on speaker. "We're about to hit the border, guys." Sam's voice says, the wall dividing the front from the back making this the only way to communicate since they all turned their coms off.

"Got it. How far from the border is our ride?" Charlie asks.

"Eileen said they would leave the van in a spot that's about a five mile hike from where we're ditching this one." Sam responds.

"Good thing she had some contacts in Scotland. When did she say she would meet us at the safe house?" Dean comes on.

"In two days. She wanted to give us time to get settled first. She said we could stay there as long as we need to. She was appalled when I explained what was happening and was more than happy to help. Turn here." Sam explains. "Get ready to unload guys." he finishes before hanging up. The van makes a sharp turn and then slows to a halt.

Cas once again gathers Cat into his arms as Charlie and Kevin pack up their equipment. Some of it will be left for the hunter picking the van up, but the rest will be lugged to the safe house. "Everyone ready?" Dean questions as he pulls the backdoor open.

"Almost." Charlie tells him, snapping a case closed.

"How is she, Cas?" Dean asks, turning to scan the gaunt and burned face of his little sister.

"Still unconscious." Cas tells him sadly.

"We can take turns carrying her to the van. Let's go before we get caught." Dean sighs, sorrow clearly shown in his face.

It takes a little over an hour to get to the new van, and another four to arrive at the cabin. Cat's still unconscious, so Sam carries her in and tucks her into a bed in one of the two bedrooms. Cas had performed some first aid on the drive up, so most of her body is swathed in bandages, the smell of burn cream and singed hair filling the air. "I'm so sorry it took us so long to find you, kitten. I promise we will keep you safe and never let them take you back. We'd rather die than let anything else ever happen to you again." Sam promises.

Satisfied that she will be safe and comfortable for the moment, Sam ducks out of the room and helps unload the van. Eileen had been an amazing help to their mission, providing the tech gear and weapons as well as the transportation and safe house. She even went as far as making sure the final van was packed with some provisions and a good first aid kit, which is what they are unloading now.

"Okay, there are only two beds and Cat is on one. There's a couch and some cots stacked up so no one should have to sleep on the floor. Now, we can take turns on the bed and couch or everyone can just claim a spot and stick with it." Sam tells everyone after they finish unloading the supplies.

"I think Charlie should get the bedroom, seeing as she's the only girl and probably would like some privacy." Kevin declares.

"No argument here, Solo." Charlie agrees with a smirk.

"Fine, Charlie gets the room and the four of us can trade off on the couch. Sound good?" Dean asks. Everyone nods their heads, settling the matter. It's late and everyone is exhausted, so Sam finds the blankets and sheets stored in a cabinet, passing them out. Tomorrow a hunter is supposed to drop off all their clothes, so they have to sleep in their current clothes for tonight.

"I think one of us should sleep in Cat's room in case she wakes up and is disoriented. I will take my cot in there for tonight." Cas says, grabbing a cot and bedding to do just that.

"That's a great idea, Cas. I'll take the next shift tomorrow night." Sam offers with a smile.

In the middle of the night, Cas is alerted by pained whimpers. Getting up slowly so as not to startle her, Cas heads over to where Cat is shaking and sobbing on the bed. "Cat? It's Cas." he starts, watching her flinch with her eyes still tightly shut. "I know it hurts, I know it has hurt for three months, but you're free of them now. They will never hurt you again. You're safe. You're with your family again."

She opens dull eyes glazed by pain and exhaustion, searching out his face. She opens her mouth to speak but Cas stops her. "Don't try to talk, you inhaled a lot of smoke so your throat is raw. Can I?" he asks, indicating wanting to touch her forehead. She nods her head, teeth gritted from the pain. He carefully reaches up and allows his Grace to flow through her, healing her as he takes stock of all the damage.

When he finally removes his fingers, she is completely healed and sinks into a deep sleep now that she is pain-free. He had been waiting until she woke up to heal her, something the others had protested until he explained that she would find it hard to believe she was truly free if she woke up completely healed. He reasoned that the pain being there and then fading away might be more convincing. Truth is, none of them know how she will be mentally. There is no real precedent for dying and being brought back constantly for months.

As such, they decided to take it slow and just let her relax for a bit. Out here, there is nothing to resemble the facility she was imprisoned in for three months. It's all fresh air, sunshine, and crisp winds full of the scents of the forest. It's early November so the weather is cool, but not too cold yet. They hope to be able to allow Cat some time outside on the nicer days. She has always loved the fall and some fresh air will do her a lot of good. Eventually they will have to tell her that Kevin is back, that should make her happy at least. Until then, they will let her sleep and try to catch up on almost three months' worth of lost sleep. Cas pulls the covers back up to her chin, brushing her hair from her face, and then returns to his cot. _Our family is complete again._ he thinks as he goes back to meditating, not needing to sleep.

 _ **A/N: I haven't decided if I'm gonna do another chapter or just an epilogue yet, but either way we are almost done with the adventures of Cat Winchester. I never expected to write this much nor to have gotten the response I have, it's been an awesome ride for sure. Thanks for your continued support and I'll see you next time, ciao!**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Nevertheless**

As expected, it's not smooth sailing during the first few weeks in the cabin situated in the middle of a Scottish forest. It quickly became apparent during the times Cat was conscious, that she was never really awake. She would just lay there and stare blankly at the ceiling, not acknowledging anyone unless she was being moved. Even then, she moved almost robotically, though weakly since she lost most of her muscles over the past few months. She was nothing like the woman she used to be.

"I don't get it, it's been weeks and she hasn't improved at all. Do you think they broke her mind as well as her body?" Sam asks everyone gathered in the open living area. Cat is once again staring aimlessly at the ceiling, but they leave her door open to keep an eye on her.

"It is possible. It may also be that she has retreated deep within herself in an attempt to escape the horrors done to her. We've all read the collection of files. Does it seem so strange that she wouldn't want to deal with it all?" Cas replies thoughtfully.

"No, it sounds like when Sammy was dealing with his wall being broken, except he was comatose during that. She can move and function, but she's not there. What can we do to bring her back?" Dean questions in frustration. He understands why she did it, but she's safe now. He just wants his sister back.

"If she's deep within herself, then we need a way to reach her. Is there any way to get in someone's head?" Kevin suggests. He hates seeing the normally expressive woman so blank. He misses the girl he fell in love with and continued to fall in love with as time went on. He still loves her, but he questions if she can even love him back.

"What about African dream root?" Charlie offers, remembering their stories of using it in the past.

"That would work if she was trapped in a dream, but it's more than that." Cas shoots her down.

Sam then proposes something that shocks them all. "What about possession?"

"What?!" Dean exclaims in surprise, staring at his brother like he grew an extra head.

"Well Crowley possessed me to clue me in to the angel, sounds like a similar circumstance." Sam explains.

Cas nods, "He's not wrong, but can we trust Crowley?"

"We don't have a choice. Looks like we're summoning the dick." Dean sighs, resigned to dealing with the demon.

 ***TIME SKIP***

"Moose! Squirrel! To what do I owe the pleasure of being summoned when you have my bloody number?" Crowley grouches. "Wait, are we in bloody Scotland? What the hell are you yanks doing on this side of the pond?"

"We need your help." Sam states.

POVPOVPOVPOVPOV

"Mommy! Mommy! Watch this!" Willow cheers before jumping straight into a puddle with a squeal as it splashes her bare legs, luckily missing her shorts. We're taking a walk in Lebanon, heading for the playground.

"You're gonna get all wet, 'Lo. Come hold mommy's other hand so we can cross the street. The playground isn't far." I say with a smile, soaking in the warm August sunshine, not a cloud in the sky. The puddle Willow found was made by a leaky hydrant, though it did rain several days ago.

"Will they have swings and slides and monkey bars and a merry-go-round?" Tristan asks me, eyes wide. This will be their first trip to the playground now that they're almost two years old.

"I don't know, Trist, guess we'll have to wait and see." I answer as we continue down the sidewalk.

"There it is, there it is!" Willow shouts and I tighten my grip on her hand to make sure she won't run off. She's a little whirlwind and the guys had warned me about her tendency to just take off before we headed out.

We enter the park and I find a bench where I can keep an eye on the playground. "Okay, do you remember the rules?" I ask them, still holding their hands. I want to hear the rules repeated before I set them loose.

"We have to stay on the playground or with you, no running off." Tristan starts.

"Always say 'Christo' before playing with any of the kids." Willow continues.

"No talking to adults except for you unless you say it's okay." Tristan recites.

"If we need to potty, grab the other twin and then find you." Willow's face is scrunched up trying to remember each rule. I only set five rules, but they are all important for their safety, especially at their age.

"And the last one?" I prompt.

"Oh! No being mean to other kids or each other and no climbing high stuff without you to help." Tristan finishes, both of them grinning in accomplishment.

"Good. Stick to the rules and have fun! I'll stay on this bench and watch y'all so just wave me over if you need me." I tell them, smiling at their excitement. As soon as I release them, they tear across to the playground where there are already a few other kids playing. They make a beeline for the slide and I watch in amusement as they squeal happily.

"Adorable little tykes, aren't they?" a horribly familiar voice says from the other side of the bench.

"Crowley." I growl, mama bear protectiveness kicking in.

"Now there's no need for that. I didn't come here for them, I came for you." he tells me.

Not daring to take my eyes of my children, I reply, "What do you want?"

"You need to leave this little haven you've created and return to the real world. Your brothers are worried _and of course they dragged me into it._ " he grumbles that last part.

"My brothers are back at the Bunker making lunch." I inform him, confused by what he's saying. This isn't some haven, it's the real world and I'm happy here.

"No, you're brothers are in a miserable cabin in Scotland waiting for their precious sister to come out of her head. You were captured and tortured by the British Men of Letters. All of this is in your head, a way to cope with the pain. You need to leave, your family is waiting." he counters.

"How do I know you're not lying?" I ask, some of what he said sounds vaguely familiar, but I'm not convinced.

"Number 17 on the list. Castiel said you'd know what he meant when he said it was still his favorite." Crowley relays, finally proving to me that what he said is true. Number 17 was when Cas took me to his secret grotto, both of us agreeing it was the best item on the list.

These past couple of weeks have all been of my own making. It pains me to leave it all behind, they were some of the best days I've had in a while. "Fine, you're telling the truth. How do I get back?" I ask, about to surrender my happiness in this little haven. He reaches over and suddenly I'm gasping awake in a strange room, red smoke filling Crowley's vessel once more before he vanishes.

"Cat?" Dean asks tentatively. I turn my head toward his voice and see my three brothers huddle close to the side of my bed, visibly relaxing when I smile at them.

"Cat! I'm so glad you're back with us again. We rescued you as soon as we found out where you were. We've been so worried!" Sam exclaims, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a sitting position as he hugs me.

"I'm sorry I gave up. I didn't think y'all would ever find me. I'm sorry I doubted." I say, tears in my eyes from all the emotions flooding me.

"You have nothing to apologize for. We're sorry we didn't get you out sooner." Cas shushes me, pulling me into his arms as soon as Sam releases me.

"I'm out and that's all that matters." I assure them before something occurs to me. "How did y'all find me anyway?"

"It was a group effort, but Charlie was the one who found the trail that led to the facility." Dean tells me, taking his turn to hug me.

"Is she here? I guess I owe her a lot of thanks for my freedom." I comment, so happy to be done with the continual death and pain.

"I'll take payment in the form of a movie marathon." Charlie jokes with a grin as she enters the room and pulls me into yet another hug.

"My brothers tell me you're the one who found me. Thanks for looking for me." I reply with a small smile.

"Well I couldn't let my best friend just vanish." she responds cheerfully.

"We have a surprise for you, Cat. You were supposed to get it months ago, but now you can finally see it. Close your eyes." Dean says playfully. Happy to go along, I close my eyes and strain my ears as I hear footsteps enter the room and approach me where I'm propped up on the bed.

"Hey, honey." an achingly familiar voice says warmly. My eyes fly open, and sure enough, my handsome, and last I knew deceased, fiancé is standing in front of me.

"Kevin!" I shout as I throw myself off the bed and fall into his waiting arms, my legs giving out. I pull back and stare at him. "But how are you-?"

"Chuck brought me back before he left. You were right about our children, they're beautiful." His smile is so bright and his eyes are shining with tears.

"The twins! Are they okay? They threatened to hurt them if I didn't do what they wanted. Please tell me they're safe and okay!" I gasp in alarm.

"They're fine, Kitten. We dropped them off with Linda before we left and she updates us every day. Those bastards will never hurt anyone in this family again." Sam promises. It's beyond my wildest dreams to finally be safe in the arms of my love and protected by my family, all of us safe.

"How long have I been- What day is it?" I ask shakily, fearing I've missed yet another milestone in my children's lives. So far the only birthday I was there for was the day they were actually born.

They look at me sadly and Sam breaks the news. "It's December 12th. You've been out of that place since November, but you were too deep in your mind to know that."

"December?! But Tristan and Willow's birthdays… I was gonna be there this time! Why does nothing ever go right for me?! I'm sick and tired of being made the victim! Why can't the damn universe give me a break?! What have I done to deserve this shit?" I rant, face heating in anger.

"Cat, no one deserves it less than you. You haven't done a damn thing except try to be happy. I don't know why you have such bad luck, but you're due for a break, overdue actually." Dean tells me sincerely, grabbing my shoulders and making me look at him.

"I just want to quit waiting for the other shoe to drop. I meet you guys then I'm kidnapped, tortured, and almost killed. You adopt me and I get trapped in the nightmare of the century. I meet Kevin and start training like I want to, then bam possessed and forced to do things that still haunt me. Meet Cas, find out I'm a freaking abomination. Y'all accept me and Kevin kisses me then I'm fighting for my life. Ex cetera, ex cetera, ex cetera. The latest on the list, I finally get away from those dicks, and my powers are gone forever." I'm breathing heavily and am met by stunned silence as everyone stares at me.

"Your powers are…..gone?" Kevin asks carefully. _They didn't know? How could they not know? Surely Cas at least noticed._ I think to myself, turning to the angel in question.

"You didn't tell them?" I ask him, voice quiet.

"I was hoping I was wrong or that they retreated with you." he admits, a sympathetic look on his face. His response causes everyone else to round on him.

"You knew and you didn't say anything?! Cas, we deserved to know what was going on!" Dean growls, obviously angry.

"Hey, it's okay. So I'm human permanently now. It's not the end of the world, just disappointing." I try to pacify the obviously bristling men in the room.

"I thought you loved your powers?" Charlie says, questioning how calm I am.

"I do, I did, but at least now they have no reason to target me anymore. They pushed it too far and my powers were used up trying to keep me alive. It's a relief to no longer have to go through that horror show again. The things they did…" I respond, but then get sucked into the nightmarish memories of being force-fed vampire blood then human blood, drowning, the absolute agony of the different poisons, burning alive, etc.

"Crap, we need to get her sat on the bed." I hear a distant voice say, cutting through the hellish visions.

"Cat? Cat, sweetheart, you're okay." another voice says.

"Breathe, honey. You need to breathe." yet another voice coaches

"I'll get the water and pills." a feminine voice proclaims.

"Cat, focus on my voice. You're not there anymore, you're safe and surrounded by family." a very deep voice states and I try to do as it commands, eventually coming back to myself. I'm sat on the edge of the bed, sandwiched between Kev and Dean with Cas crouching in front of me and Sam and Charlie hovering close by.

"Wha-what happened?" I question in confusion.

"You had a panic attack, most likely triggered by thinking about your time in captivity." Cas explains solemnly.

"Shit, I'm sorry." I swear, annoyed at myself.

"Nothing to be sorry for. We've read the reports; we know what they did to you. We'd be way more worried if you didn't freak out. If you ever need to talk about it, we're here for you." Charlie empathizes. "Here, these will help you sleep, you look exhausted."

After swallowing the sleeping pills and draining the glass of water, I ask, "Reports?"

"They recorded every experiment and the results. We actually rescued you in the middle of one." Sam clarifies.

"The fire." I breathe, still able to feel the heat and burning pain, smell my burning skin.

"We killed a lot of those bastards on our way out. Hopefully they won't be stupid enough to try again." Dean tells me with a vicious sort of satisfaction.

"Mmm good." I reply groggily, pills kicking in.

"Alright, get some sleep, Cat. We'll talk later." Cas smiles as they help me back under the covers.

 **3 Months Later**

Late February, the extended Winchester family flies home from Scotland, including the twins whom were flown up with Linda and Mary for Christmas. Linda, Mary, and Charlie flew home later that month, wanting to give the family some time alone. The brothers waited a few months to help Cat adjust to being free before she's stuck on a plane full of people. It was close, but she made it back without any attacks, though Kevin was incredibly surprised his hand wasn't broken. Turns out, she has Dean's fear of planes, but listening to music, watching movies, and reading helped. She refused to sleep, but they were all used to that.

There were days, especially near the beginning where she would flat out refuse to sleep and if pushed too hard, would take off into the woods. She had really scared them the first time she did it, but they found her easily as she never went too far. She loved the forest. Even though it was rarely above freezing during their time there, she was often trekking down little animal paths she found or forging her own, marking her way so she wouldn't get lost. It took a bit before she was allowed to venture out alone, but she needed the escape from the crowded cabin some days.

Soon after they returned to the Bunker, it was determined that she couldn't stay there. The lack of windows and long halls caused too many flashbacks with her PTSD. Wanting to help their sister but unwilling to let her go too far away, the brothers found a nice four bedroom two-story house on the outskirts of Lebanon, only a few miles from the Bunker. Pooling all their money and money donated to the cause by their family and some hunters, they bought it after going to check it out and researching it.

A week later, Cat, Kevin, and the twins were moved in. The twins were thrilled by the fenced in backyard. "We should get some swings and stuff for them." Cat muses as she watches her children run across the grass, playing tag.

"We can do that when it gets a bit warmer, it's still March after all." Kevin chuckles from his spot behind her, arms wrapped around her waist as they gaze out the sliding glass door.

"I never expected to have a house again, just like I never expected to have kids or to see you outside of Heaven. I'm so glad we get the chance to raise them together." Cat sighs happily, full of contentment.

"Me too, honey. You know what would make it even better?" Kevin replies.

"What?" Cat questions, turning to look at him over her shoulder.

"If we finally got married. Will you still marry me?" he asks with a tender smile.

"Of course I will! I want to be able to call you my husband!" Cat exclaims happily as she twists in his arms and pulls him into a deep kiss. "We have a wedding to plan!" she beams before dashing up the stairs to their room, Kevin shaking his head with an amused smile at her excitement.

 **1 Month Later**

"You look beautiful, Cat. Kevin is one lucky man." Charlie assures the nervous bride as she helps her with finishing touches on her hair and makeup.

"Was I right to forgo the traditional gown? I feel like I'm under dressed in this." Cat frets as she smooths down her dress. She decided with the rushed ceremony, to do a more casual dress code. As such, instead of a fancy wedding gown, she's dressed in a sleeveless white lace dress with a scoop neckline, scoop-back, and a dark green sash around the waist. Due to the decision to have an outdoor wedding, her shoes are simple white sandals. In her artfully crafted up do is an elegant peacock feather accent she fell in love with and used to inspire the theme colors of the simple wedding. Charlie is in a similarly styled dress of peacock blue, her own hair curled.

While the crowd may be small, easily hosted in the clearing often frequented by the Winchesters, they're all dear to Cat and Kevin's hearts. There are no bride or groom sides since they share their pool of friends and family, so the chairs are arranged in rows of five with the aisle down the right side. There is a simple canopy set up for the bride and groom to stand under, decorated with material in the theme colors of blue, green, and gold wound up the legs and draped around the top. A few floral arrangements are set up on the sides as well as down the aisle.

The bride and groom each have tents to finish getting ready in as the guest arrive from the fairy-light lit path through the trees. The same lights are also strung along the aisle and all around the canopy. The women of the family, Jody, Claire, Alex, Donna, Charlie, Bess, and Cat worked hard on the decorations in lieu of a bachelorette party, but they still had fun, especially since Linda and Mary stayed behind to watch the kids. The men also pitched in to help set everything up, including a few generators to power everything. Sam, Dean, Cas, Garth, and Kevin still had a bachelor party, however.

As the evening grows closer, guests start to arrive and Cat begins to fret. "Hey, you're not getting cold feet, are you?" Charlie asks her. Charlie is her maid of honor and so it is her duty to reassure the bride, but she's also her best friend.

"No, I just- I just want it to be perfect! It's not every day you get to marry the love of your life, ya know?" Cat replies.

"Ah yes, the hopeless romantic in you is out full force I see." Charlie answers with a grin, Cat shoving her playfully. "But seriously, you have nothing to worry about. That man would think you were perfect even if you were wearing a trash bag."

"I guess you're right. I can't believe I'm about to get married!" Cat practically squeals. At that time, Mary comes in with little Willow in tow. The young girl is dressed in a simple blue lace dress with her own peacock feather hair clip, her dark locks styled in bouncing curls as she skips over to her mom. She's also holding a basket of blue, green, and gold petals and leaves since she is the flower girl. Tristan is in his dad's tent as the ring bearer.

"Mommy! You look like a princess!" Willow shouts excitedly as Mary turns to take her seat outside.

"Thanks, 'Lo. You do too. We can be princesses together!" Cat smiles, scooping up her daughter. "Do you remember what to do?"

"After Charlie reaches the end, me and Trist walk down the aisle together and I throw petals and leaves from my basket." Willow recites, having been through a few rehearsals.

"That's right, baby. I'll be right behind y'all and daddy will be up front. Just make sure you sit with Mary and Linda when you get to the end, okay?" Cat reminds her, tickling her.

"Yes, mommy!" Willow squeals as Cat tickles her before setting her back down.

"You guys all set?" Dean asks, entering the tent with Sam right behind him. "Wow, you look breathtaking!" he breathes when he sees Cat. Charlie grabs Willow's hand and they exit the tent, the ceremony about to begin.

"Kevin is a lucky man." Sam agrees. Since Cat has no father or even a father figure, it was decided that the brothers would walk her down the aisle. She was sad to not be able to include Cas, but he's Kevin's best man so it works out.

"I'm the lucky one. I'm finally getting my happily ever after! I almost lost it, more than once, and now it's here. I'm so scared something is going to come along and ruin it." Cat confesses, voice small.

"Oh sweetheart, don't think about that right now. It's your big day and we're all so happy for you. You deserve this, just remember that."

"Dean's right, Cat. There's no point in worrying about what may or may not happen in the future. Focus on the present. You're surrounded by family and are about to marry the man you love. You two have been through so much to get to this point. Promise us you will just live in the now, at least for today."

"I promise." Cat replies, a gentle and beautiful smile on her face.

"Good, because I believe it's time for you to get hitched." Dean comments as he checks outside.

"Relax, Kevin." Cas whispers to the fidgeting man standing next to him. Kevin is dressed in a simple white button down, black slacks, black blazer, and a dark green tie. Cas is dressed similarly except his tie is blue.

"I can't help it, Cas. What if I mess up? What if she changes her mind?" Kevin worries. Currently, they are the only ones at the altar except for Jody, who was ordained for the occasion to avoid any outsiders.

"Do you really doubt Cat's unconditional love for you? I thought you knew her better than that." Cas reprimands as they see Charlie begin to walk down the aisle.

"Of course I don't!" Kevin hisses. "I'm just freaking out and thinking of all kinds of worst case scenarios."

"I've heard that as soon as you see your bride, all your fears will disappear." Cas comments as Willow and Tristan trot down the aisle, Willow spreading the contents of her basket quite liberally to the amusement of the guests. Her brother, however, looks very professional in his mini version of Cas' outfit and walks straight, steering his sister toward their seats with their grandmas.

The music changes from Rockelbel's Canon by the Piano Guys to another of their songs, A Thousand Years, signaling the bride's entrance. Everyone turns to watch as the glowing young woman is escorted down the aisle by her two beaming, gold tie wearing, brothers. Cas was right about the worries disappearing, because as soon as Kevin lays eyes on Cat, all he can think about is how stunning and happy she looks and how he's about to marry her.

Soon enough, she's handing her bouquet to Charlie and taking his hands in hers. They have eyes only for each other as the official drones on about love and marriage. "And now the bride and groom have chosen to write their own vows." he says.

Cat takes a deep, steadying breath before she begins. "When we first met, I had to force you to spend time with me instead of that tablet. As time went on, you became a treasured friend and then one day, that all changed. We both admitted the night you helped me after a bad nightmare was when we started falling in love with each other. Our first kiss was pretty killer." There are a few chuckles at that, those who know exactly what she is referring to. "You helped me through some hard times and I soon realized I would die for you, and I don't regret doing it either. Without you, I don't even want to think about where I would be. You're my rock and when you were gone, I felt like my heart had been ripped out. When I realized I was pregnant, I was scared I wouldn't be a good mother and you would be disappointed. When you opened the door in Heaven, I thought I had found my happy ending, but then Chuck brought us both back and we were given a chance to be a real family. This is my happily ever after, and I would want it to be with anyone but you. I love you so much that sometimes it scares me. I can't wait to start our new lives together."

There isn't a dry eye in the clearing as she finishes. Everyone gathered knows just how much the two of them have been through, but Cat especially. Kevin reaches up and wipes Cat's tears as well as his own before he starts his own vows. "From the moment I set eyes on you, I knew I was screwed. I tried so hard not to get attached, but you made it impossible with your beauty and personality. At that time, I never expected you would even be interested and I was so happy when we became friends. As we began to get closer, I started to hope for more. When we shared our first kiss, I knew for sure that you were it for me. No one else would even come close. When you died in my place, I was devastated. You were everything and then you were just gone. When you returned from Purgatory, you were so lost and scared, and I realized you finally needed me. I'll admit those are still some of my favorite memories. The day you accepted my proposal, I felt like the luckiest man in the world. I hated leaving you alone that Christmas, but I knew you would want me to move on. Our time together in Heaven was amazing and our time together on Earth even more so. You've made me the happiest man in the world with our beautiful children and with agreeing to marry me. I love you more than you will ever know, Cat, and I can't wait to prove it to you every day for the rest of our lives."

When they finally kiss as Mr. and Mrs. Winchester, Kevin deciding to take name with his mom's blessing, everyone stands up cheering and cat calling as Sister Sledge's We Are Family bursts from the speakers. Cat and Kevin hook arms, with their children trailing behind them as they walk down the aisle. Cas escorts Charlie with everyone else following behind on the hike to the Bunker. Sam and Dean catch up with the newlyweds and scoop up the children with huge smiles on their faces. They're both so happy for their sister and brother-in-law. There were so many times through the years where this seemed impossible, but they beat the odds and got their happy ending. And really, that's all that matters in the end. Cat is happy, their sister has finally gotten her dues and they couldn't be more overjoyed.

"Their love is a beautiful thing to witness." Cas comments as he walks with the brothers. "To have been tested as much as they have, it must be incredibly strong."

"She beat the Winchester curse. That woman amazes me every day with how she can cope so well with all the tragedies and hardships she's endured. I'm so glad it was us that she appeared to all those years ago." Sam agrees.

"Yeah, we really lucked out with that. We couldn't ask for a better sister and maybe one day she will finally believe it." Dean smiles as they watch the retreating couple in front of them. The setting sun lights them up beautifully in rose gold as they cross the empty field, hand in hand.


	19. Epilogue

**Imagine**

 **8 Years Later**

"Mooom! 'Lo's flying again!" April shouts, running from the backyard with her dirty blonde hair streaming behind her as she heads to the living room where Cat and Kevin are busy with their work. Both of them decided to go to college, taking online classes to get their degrees. Cat chose to retry for her Zoology degree while Kevin decided on a business degree since his original plans of becoming president are no longer possible. Currently, Cat is working on organic chemistry. She actually has to attend the university in Hays for a twice-weekly lab, but otherwise everything can be done from their house.

"Whoa! Slow down, April." Cat laughs as her six-year-old barrels into her, almost knocking her tablet out of her hand. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asks, searching her hazel eyes.

"You told 'Lo and Trist not to fly without uncle Cas or you there, but 'Lo is doing in the backyard!" April tattles.

"Alright, go up and play in your room. I'll talk to Willow." Cat sighs. The twins had finally started getting their powers when they hit puberty at ten years old. Concerned about their safety, Cat made it a rule that they can only practice using powers when either she or Cas are present. While she may no longer have powers, Cas was finally reinstated in Heaven, his Grace healed so that he could fly once more. She was so thankful when he offered to teach the twins since she's been human for over eight years and isn't sure how to coach them.

"Willow Temperance Winchester, what did we say about using powers unsupervised?" Cat demands from the deck, her daughter having just flown from the swings to the little garden Cat and Kevin had cultivated together.

"Not to, but look how good I'm getting!" Willow calls before flying over to her mom. She misjudges and they both go down in a tangle of limbs, dark hair, and shocked cries.

"Cat, honey, is everything okay?" Kevin asks as he walks out. "What are you two doing on the ground?"

"Little miss rebel here decided to fly over and pushed us both off the deck." Cat replies. "Luckily it's only a few steps instead of the second story balcony. See Willow, this is why we have rules. They aren't to punish you or restrict you, they're to keep you and those around you safe." Cat lectures as Kevin helps Willow off her mom. When he's pulling Cat up, she lets out a pained gasp and starts to crumple back to the ground. Kevin catches her in his arms and carefully lowers her back to the grass.

"Where are you hurt?" he asks her. "Willow, go get my phone from the coffee table." Willow runs off to do what he says as he scans his wife.

"Ankle. Think I sprained it. Carry me to the couch?" Cat requests, face pinched in pain. Kevin carefully lifts her as Willow returns with his phone.

"Call uncle Cas and tell him mommy sprained her ankle, okay princess?" Kevin tells Willow, walking past her to the living room, laying Cat down carefully on the sofa.

"Hello Cat, Kevin. I hear there is an invalid in need of my assistance." Cas jokes as he appears in the room shortly after Willow makes the call.

"Who're you calling an invalid? I can still kick your ass and you know it." Cat jokes back. After returning home as a human, she had thrown herself into training until she could protect her family from any threat. She rarely goes hunting anymore, too invested on raising her family, but when she does, she's a sight to behold. "So, were you nearby?"

"Yes, I was actually visiting your brothers when I got the call. They should be here shortly." Cas replies with a smirk.

"Great. There goes my productive day. This homework is due tomorrow and it's kicking my ass." Cat sighs.

"Well if you would let me help…" Cas starts, only to be cut off.

"That would be like cheating. You knew all this stuff before even humans did." Cat interjects.

"Where are my nieces and nephew?" a voice booms from the hall, signaling the arrival of the Winchester brothers.

"Uncle De! Uncle Sam!" April shrieks as she shoots down the stairs and into the waiting arms of Dean. Tristan comes down as well, book in hand as he heads straight to Sam. Sam has been teaching him lore since he turned ten, something Tristan had been begging for.

"Hey, Squirt! You finish that book on werewolves yet?" Sam asks him as he ruffles his hair. Tristan insisted on his hair looking like Sam's in length, even though his is much darker in color.

"Yeah! Can I have one on angels? I want to know about that part of me. Mommy explained that we have parts of angels and demons in us and that they gave us these powers so I wanna know about 'em." Tristan begs with pleading puppy eyes.

"Sure. Maybe you can convince your parents to let you have a sleepover and we can choose some books together." Sam suggests.

"I wanna sleepover too!" April chimes in. "Is gramma Mary there?"

"Sure is, Short Stuff." Dean replies, tickling the little girl before setting her down so she can hug Cas.

"That's fine, just make sure they go to bed on time. Otherwise, you can deal with their crankiness tomorrow." Cat smirks as she walks over, Cas having healed her ankle. "Do you want to go too, Willow?" she asks her quiet daughter. She can tell that today's incident has affected the normally boisterous young girl who is now standing alone in the living room while everyone else is in the entry way. "Hey, it's okay, Cas healed me." Cat tries to reassure.

"But I hurt you. You said we should never use our powers to hurt people and _I hurt you_!" Willow replies in distress.

"That's true, but it was an accident, right? You weren't trying to hurt me, were you?" Cat asks, trying to prove a point.

"No! I was just trying to show you I could fly by myself!" Willow declares, wide blue eyes filling with tears.

"I was very impressed, but next time remember the rules and this won't happen again. I'm not mad and you're not in trouble, okay? Now, I know for a fact that Sam and Dean have a huge tub of ice cream in the Bunker." Cat tells her conspiratorially.

"Really? Do they have pie?" Willow asks, successfully distracted by the promise of sweets.

"They do, because I have one cooling on the counter that I was going to give them." Cat replies with a wink.

"What kind?"

"Your favorite."

"Strawberry rhubarb?"

"Yup!" Cat pops the P with a grin.

"Yay! Uncle De, mommy made us pie!" Willow squeals as she runs to her favorite uncle. She and Dean have bonded just as much as Tristan and Sam, especially since they helped raise them for years. April has formed an attachment to Cas, loving all the stories he tells her about things he's seen over his very long life.

"Alright! Thanks, Kit-Kat!" Dean cheers as he goes to collect the pie. Soon it's just Cat and Kevin left in the house.

"So, when exactly is your homework due?" Kevin asks, a glint in his eyes.

"Tomorrow night, why?" Cat replies.

"Well it looks like we have the house to ourselves for the rest of the day." Kevin hints.

"Hmm true, what ever shall we do?" Cat teases, catching on.

"Oh I can think of a few things." Kevin says before pulling her into a kiss. The next day they both have to rush to get their work done on time, but they wouldn't change it for the world.

 _Like a myth, the story of our lives_

 _Couldn't fit in only black and white_

 _If it's true that legends never die_

 _Me and you could stand the test of time_

 _We could be timeless, we could be classic_

 _We could be stars, we could be_ _ **rose gold**_

Rose Gold by Pentatonix


End file.
